Search for a specific post in the news feed

The Next Show is All in the Bag

11/01/2016 15:35:40 PM

I love handbags. I love shopping. I hate handbag shopping. I can't do it online. I have to do it in store. I've got to touch the merchandise. My requirements are specific but today I tried to...

It’s Always the Year of the Asshole

07/13/2016 23:53:04 PM

At a recent comedy show there was a table of disruptive people. They weren’t heckling the comedians directly, just talking animatedly amongst themselves. This seemed odd since this wasn’t a random...

At the Cleaners: How the Everyday Can Just Flat Out Get Away From You

07/04/2016 10:15:23 AM

I went to the cleaners the other day and as I pulled out my last item of clothing I saw a crumpled claim ticket in the bottom of the tote bag. I used to put my cleaners tickets on the refrigerator so...

When You Want to Hug a Stranger in Dunkin Donuts

06/26/2016 09:43:24 AM

In Dunkin Donuts there was a Young Woman sitting at the table next to me. She was talking on her cell phone and upset because another girl had deliberately shoved her out-of-the-way to get on the...

Bitch, Am I Boring You?

04/13/2016 19:58:28 PM

And the Search for a Therapist Continues After our second session I fired my therapist. Two meetings are what it took for me to see we weren’t going to work out. And I’d really hoped we would....

A Death in the Family

03/27/2016 13:24:11 PM

I found out about the death of a cousin on Facebook because that’s how we learn of these things now. LISTEN TO THE PODCASTREAD MORE»

And How Are You Today?

03/17/2016 16:06:49 PM

First of all I had no business being in Macy’s, especially the 34th Street Mothership. But I was in the neighborhood, I needed a bra, and so there I was strolling through the lingerie department like...

Today is My Mom's Birthday and She's Not Happy About It

03/07/2016 16:19:33 PM

Today is my Mom’s birthday and she’s not happy about it. How can she be? She (and she is not alone in this) has succumbed to the constant subliminal and overt cultural messages that discount the...

Don’t Hate on the Skinny Girl at the Gym

01/06/2016 15:09:45 PM

Photo by patrisyu.Okay, we’re a few days in and you’re still up for making a good-faith effort on your New Year’s resolutions. If one of them is going to the gym, do yourself a favor. When you get...

Indignation vs. Communication

12/10/2015 16:51:57 PM

I was excited about a new bit of material I’d written because I’d only thought of it that morning; fleshed it out that day, and gotten it up on-stage that night. That’s my personal stand-up comedy...

A View From the Bridge

11/18/2015 14:20:15 PM

The first straight play (non-musical) I did in college was Arthur Miller’s A View from the Bridge. That was the semester I was supposed to be taking a break from theater to focus on my studies. I...

Geriatric Stranger Danger

09/30/2015 10:08:21 AM

New Yorkers are not rude people. It’s just that we can get through the day without a lot of extraneous chitchat. We can communicate with each other with a quick chin lift, a head nod, and if need be,...

My First Dragon Con

09/13/2015 19:34:50 PM

My Seven Favorite Moments from The Con I was invited to perform at my very first Dragon Con in Atlanta, Georgia. For science fiction/fantasy fans this is like being asked to suit up and be the...

Mission Accomplished: Welcome to Fog-a-licious San Francisco

06/10/2015 01:13:30 AM

I’m geeked to be working in San Francisco this summer. They say its California’s version of New York, so I feel right at home in another city I can't afford to live in. Since it’s my first time...

Bite My Shiny Metal Ass: How Futurama Changed My Life

05/26/2015 18:20:38 PM

Thanks to Netflix I’ve now watched all 10 seasons of Futurama, the science fiction animated cartoon series created by Matt Groening (Simpsons). It began in 1999 on FOX and ended in 2013 on Comedy...

Name That Dog

05/13/2015 17:41:43 PM

When a friend group texted that she was getting a pair of dogs – golden doodles, adorable – for her daughters, we immediately began suggesting pet names. Over the course of two days (geez, maybe it...

Hey Baby Birl

04/30/2015 12:35:12 PM

Image courtesy of stock images at FreeDigitalPhotos.net“Baby Girl.” That’s what James Evans, the father on Good Times, called his daughter, Thelma. Years later it’s also how Bernie Mac referred to...

"Hellraiser"

04/21/2015 10:05:27 AM

Someone said, “Leighann, what’s your favorite romantic movie?” Believe it or not I’ve never been asked that before so I had to think about it for a second. My head tilted to the left, my eyes stared...

The Middle of the Night Phone Call

02/24/2015 08:20:55 AM

One of my biggest fears is that I’ll get a Phone Call From Home in the Middle of the Night when I’m too far away to do anything about it and once again I’ll be angry that we still don’t have Star...

A Day in the Life of a Standup Comic: Just Writing

01/22/2015 11:20:04 AM

One day when I was waiting for the subway, a young woman with an expensive camera introduced herself as a Columbia University graduate student in its photojournalism program and asked permission to...

A Year Without A Dog

01/01/2015 09:55:25 AM

“If this is love I do not want it. Take it from me. Why does it hurt so?” “Because it was real.” The Hobbit We lost our dog, Rolie, last January 2nd. Everyone says it’s hard to lose a pet because...

There is No Spoon: A Pre-Christmas Story

12/17/2014 10:38:36 AM

Image courtesy of cuteimage at FreeDigitalPhotos.netOne of the most well-known scenes from the Matrix is when Neo is told, “There is no spoon.” We can while away an afternoon discussing what that...

Life in the NYC Slow Lane

12/09/2014 23:16:00 PM

The 25 Miles Per Hour Speed Limit is Killing Me I am a Native New Yorker. That’s not a typo. It should to be capitalized. It’s not pride in an accident of birth but it’s staying here long after many...

Returning to My Theatre Roots

11/30/2014 12:58:59 PM

Before I did stand-up comedy I did theatre. Being in the wrong place at the right time landed me the role of Lola Le’Dare, Hot Box Girl, in a college production of Guys and Dolls. It was my first...

Why Do I Have to Share?

10/02/2014 10:30:59 AM

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.netI was standing in line at the grocery store. In front of me was a mother with her eight-year old son. He had talked her into buying him candy...

No Pizza, No Cry

09/24/2014 12:22:27 PM

If You Have to Ask, You Can’t Afford ItI’m in a quandary. I want new stores and services to come into my neighborhood, but I get nervous when they do. I can’t help but wonder, is this how the...

Born Again Workaholic: 8 Ways to Curb Your Workaholism

08/27/2014 15:16:19 PM

Image courtesy of Prakairoj at FreeDigitalPhotos.netSummer is almost over. You might be on vacation, about to leave, or just coming back. Maybe you – clutch the pearls – haven’t taken any time off...

Vacation: No Laptop Required! A Cautionary Tale for Over-Achieving Workaholics with a Fear of Failure

08/13/2014 13:38:58 PM

Leighann & Tracy! Fresh of the plane and roaming the streets of Rome!I come from an immigrant culture of color and so my parents taught me to work hard. Very hard. Work hard and then work some...

Curb Your Hostility

08/04/2014 22:26:30 PM

Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.netI recently travelled to a section of the city that I’ve never really been to before. I got the distinct impression that because I wasn't a...

Who Wears Short Shorts?

07/02/2014 21:47:04 PM

Image courtesy of Pong / FreeDigitalPhotos.netOkay, I caved in and went shopping for shorts at Old Navy. I’m not a big fan but they’re in fashion and it’s just too damn hot to wear jeans. I grabbed...

Happy Father's Day!

06/12/2014 10:28:31 AM

*Originally posted 7/16/13I can think of no bigger waste of time then going to see a live baseball game. To me it’s just grown men sweating in public. Yes, I know this is blasphemy especially when...

My Article in the Huffington Post: My Maya Angelou!

05/28/2014 22:58:48 PM

My Maya Angelou(function(a){var b="embedly-platform",c="script";if(!a.getElementById(b)){var...

Cell Phones Don’t Irritate People, People Irritate People

05/15/2014 00:25:05 AM

Image courtesy of adamr / FreeDigitalPhotos.netI went to the theater on Sunday. Just before show time the house lights dimmed and the stage manager announced, “...Please turn off your cell phones.”...

Zumba By Any Means Necessary

05/05/2014 19:10:38 PM

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography FreeDigitalPhotos.netWhen I first heard about Zumba I didn’t pay it any mind because I wasn’t interested in another exercise fad. Remember when hot yoga...

They Called the Cops on the Cat

04/30/2014 23:06:51 PM

I’ve never been owned by a cat. I don’t have the courage to have a creature in my house that can outthink me. And now I know, I damn sure don’t want anything that can outfight me either. One of the...

Have Wine Glass, Will Travel

04/16/2014 16:15:52 PM

Photo by Jen Tucker ‏@authorjentuckeI was a first-time faculty member at this year’s Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop (EBWW) and I left with a respectable amount of swag: tee shirt, tote bag, and my...

I'm the Erma Bombeck Humor Writer of the Month!

03/10/2014 09:30:00 AM

FIND OUT MORE HERE!

I'm Ready for My Close Up

03/06/2014 22:11:38 PM

BEFORE MAC, AFTER MACWhen I got called in for a sitcom audition one of the things my acting coach told me to do was to find the M.A.C. store nearest to my audition and have them do my makeup. No, he...

Gee, Thanks Officer

02/20/2014 14:57:01 PM

Okay, let me start by saying that I was wrong. I was wrong because I had pulled over into a bus stop. I didn’t want to but it was the only clear space on the block (on any block) since un-melted...

Crazy Bitches Hate Jellybeans

02/11/2014 00:37:25 AM

PHOTO BY LEIGHANN LORDWhile my aging and ailing Honda Civic is in the shop getting some impromptu but very necessary repairs I had to rent a car. At 30 minutes to closing I took what was left on the...

I Needed A Box

02/04/2014 14:02:12 PM

Image courtesy of Gualberto 107 / FreeDigitalPhotos.netEmpty boxes are like the police. You never have one when you need it. I needed a box but I didn’t want one. I knew where to get it though, so...

This Is Not My Father's Bowling Alley

01/21/2014 18:34:13 PM

A friend invited me to go bowling and I didn’t just say “no,” I said, “Hells no!" You know it’s serious when you add the “s.” Why such a vehement reaction? Is it the inherently unsanitary nature...

Bad Dog, No Turkey *

01/09/2014 16:56:13 PM

*Our Dear Rolie passed away on January 2, 2014, from old age and kidney failure. If love could have kept him alive, he would be immortal. We adopted him in 2006 when he was about five to seven-years...

The Best Urban Erma Posts of 2013!

12/23/2013 16:18:41 PM

Dear Urban Erma Fans,

Fine Ass Forehead – A Different Kind of Beautiful Mind

12/17/2013 21:02:12 PM

PHOTO BY BURT SMOOTHLast night a man said to me, “You have a very beautiful forehead.” Those words in that combination were so unexpected that I wasn’t sure how to respond. I mean, what could I say...

Childhood in a Bag, A Not So Trivial Pursuit*

11/27/2013 17:44:45 PM

* Republished from The Urban Erma, March 2011 A close friend recently hosted a “Game Night” and all of us who attended were charged with bringing our favorites. Rising to the challenge, I brought a...

Taken for a Ride

11/25/2013 09:53:14 AM

Image courtesy of Damian Brandon/ FreeDigitalPhotos.netThe Big Named Car Service That Advertises on TV that I normally use recently doubled their price for a trip to the airport so I called The Small...

Brazilian Wax On, Wax Off

11/13/2013 01:13:58 AM

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net.A popular joke in my act is about my first-ever Brazilian wax being done by A Very Angry Russian Woman who – as she’s ripping off the strips of cloth and my...

My Bank, The Vendor, and Me

11/07/2013 12:34:46 PM

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles FreeDigitalPhotos.net I toyed with naming names but The Who isn’t as important as The What: piss poor customer service from corporations that should know better. But...

My Brief Thoughts About Kenan & Saturday Night Live

11/02/2013 21:12:30 PM

0 0 1 5 31 VeryFunnyLady.com 1 1 35 14.0 Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE ...

The Library: It's Not Just Books

10/31/2013 01:28:06 AM

PHOTO BY LAMOTT JACKSONI casually mentioned that I was at The Library the other day and the person I was chatting with looked at me and said, “The library? Why?” They seemed genuinely surprised that...

Four Eyes Revisited

10/16/2013 12:30:37 PM

(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1";...