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“Save You a Seat”

11/25/2017 21:44:00 PM

When someone says they will save you a seat it means that they appreciate your company and they desire to have you by their side. You are important to them and their time is more valuable with you in it. They request your presence at their special ...

“Depression”

08/23/2017 15:42:00 PM

Here's a story of a mild-mannered everyday individual who has a secret hidden so deep that not even Superman with his X-ray vision could find it. He, just like Clark Kent has an alter ego too, but not one of a brave and noble hero or even a ...

“An Angel without Wings”

06/14/2017 16:18:00 PM

Where to start? There’s so much to say about my mother, but who would listen, or better yet, why would they listen? To some she was just a stranger, someone they blindly crossed paths with during their journey on this planet of ours, but to ...

“Walls, Emails and Smear Campaigns: Red and Blue Party Poopers”

10/30/2016 19:41:00 PM

I’m about to step onto my soapbox to discuss some things I personally can’t stand, some things I feel should be changed for the betterment of all involved and some things that just drive me plain old nuts for one reason or another as far ...

“Walls, Emails and Smear Campaigns: Red and Blue Party Poopers”

10/30/2016 19:41:00 PM

I’m about to step onto my soapbox to discuss some things I personally can’t stand, some things I feel should be changed for the betterment of all involved and some things that just drive me plain old nuts for one reason or another as far ...

“Buzz Kill: Looking at Life through a Pair of Beer Goggles”

06/09/2016 01:15:00 AM

We are going to be discussing addicts, alcoholics in particular, and not in an adorable Disney style fairytale kind of way either, but more of a “Dateline: To Catch an Alcoholic” kind of way. Needless to say it’s going to get a little ...

“Buzz Kill: Looking at Life through a Pair of Beer Goggles”

06/09/2016 01:15:00 AM

We are going to be discussing addicts, alcoholics in particular, and not in an adorable Disney style fairytale kind of way either, but more of a “Dateline: To Catch an Alcoholic” kind of way. Needless to say it’s going to get a little ...

"Yo! MJMTV Raps: DIRTY BLACK

03/14/2016 00:33:00 AM

“Holy shit on a shingle, Batman”! Guess what, party people? I have a very special guest up in my crib today. The up-and-coming rapper from the Bronx, which is in NY (better recognize), has stopped by The Insane Asylum to share a little bit ...

"Yo! MJMTV Raps: DIRTY BLACK

03/14/2016 00:33:00 AM

“Holy shit on a shingle, Batman”! Guess what, party people? I have a very special guest up in my crib today. The up-and-coming rapper from the Bronx, which is in NY (better recognize), has stopped by The Insane Asylum to share a little bit ...

“Stop, Drop and Hop or Come in and Stay a While?”

02/15/2016 23:26:00 PM

There are two kinds of people when it comes to using the crapper, and I’m not talking about the public one here, because hopefully no one uses those cesspools unless absolutely necessary. I’m talking about your own personal porcelain potty.You ...

“Stop, Drop and Hop or Come in and Stay a While?”

02/15/2016 23:26:00 PM

There are two kinds of people when it comes to using the crapper, and I’m not talking about the public one here, because hopefully no one uses those cesspools unless absolutely necessary. I’m talking about your own personal porcelain potty.You ...

“When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Go Crying?”

02/10/2016 21:06:00 PM

I'm sick and tired of hearing all this crap from Cam Newton! He’s trying to justify his actions in regards to how he handled things during the post-game press conference for Superbowl 50. We won’t even touch on how he was acting on the field ...

“When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Go Crying?”

02/10/2016 21:06:00 PM

I'm sick and tired of hearing all this crap from Cam Newton! He’s trying to justify his actions in regards to how he handled things during the post-game press conference for Superbowl 50. We won’t even touch on how he was acting on the field ...

“Jesus Christ Socialist”

09/06/2015 00:22:00 AM

Hello all you party people out there in cyberspace, I have great news for you; today you get a break from me and all my inane ramblings. First off, thank you for visiting The Insane Asylum, now sit back, get comfortable and please welcome my ...

“Jesus Christ Socialist”

09/06/2015 00:22:00 AM

Hello all you party people out there in cyberspace, I have great news for you; today you get a break from me and all my inane ramblings. First off, thank you for visiting The Insane Asylum, now sit back, get comfortable and please welcome my ...

“#AllLivesMatter”

08/28/2015 02:44:00 AM

For some this may be a bitter pill to swallow, and even not the most politically correct thing to say, but nevertheless it is true and needs to be addressed.If the only time you speak up against a racial injustice is when the victim has the ...

“#AllLivesMatter”

08/28/2015 02:44:00 AM

For some this may be a bitter pill to swallow, and even not the most politically correct thing to say, but nevertheless it is true and needs to be addressed.If the only time you speak up against a racial injustice is when the victim has the ...

“(Republican) Party Over Here”

08/07/2015 01:30:00 AM

The first GOP debate for the Republican Presidential race 2016 is in the record books, and if you ask me, all it did was further strengthen the stereotype that most Republicans are nothing more than white Christian males who want to do what’s ...

“(Republican) Party Over Here”

08/07/2015 01:30:00 AM

The first GOP debate for the Republican Presidential race 2016 is in the record books, and if you ask me, all it did was further strengthen the stereotype that most Republicans are nothing more than white Christian males who want to do what’s ...

“Our World”

07/22/2015 01:15:00 AM

I don't want to be a grown-up; I want to be a kid again, and not because I want to play with my favorite toy(s) and/or relive fond past memories of when I was child, but rather because this world of ours seems so very bleak and miserable, and ...

“Our World”

07/22/2015 01:15:00 AM

I don't want to be a grown-up; I want to be a kid again, and not because I want to play with my favorite toy(s) and/or relive fond past memories of when I was child, but rather because this world of ours seems so very bleak and miserable, and ...

“TLC: The Lunatic Channel”

05/31/2015 21:47:00 PM

TLC, The Learning Channel? I’m not really sure what one is supposed to be “learning” while watching the nonsense that this network broadcasts, other than the fact that the more outside of the realm of a normal health family you are, the ...

“TLC: The Lunatic Channel”

05/31/2015 21:47:00 PM

TLC, The Learning Channel? I’m not really sure what one is supposed to be “learning” while watching the nonsense that this network broadcasts, other than the fact that the more outside of the realm of a normal health family you are, the ...

“Give You Head”

04/22/2015 03:30:00 AM

No this isn’t one of those porno pieces, sorry to burst your bubble, so zip up your pants and put away the lotion.You’re getting head here that is for sure, but unfortunately it’s not the kind of head you were hoping for, it’s the kind ...

“Dirty Rats Using Garbage Suck”

04/08/2015 02:21:00 AM

I can’t stand drug addicts, and this includes alcoholics, because I personally think they are wasting the most precious gift that any of us could ever ask for, which of course is life.There are so many people fighting to survive, battling ...

“Shopping Snafus”

04/02/2015 01:15:00 AM

I'm not your typical man, I don't mind going to the store and buying things like feminine hygiene products as most do, because I know there’s no way that the other store goers could possibly mistake them as mine, but then again in today’s ...

“Real American Heroes”

03/19/2015 01:48:00 AM

You may disagree with the war we are fighting and/or not be a big fan of the Commander-in-Chief, but don't let that taint your feelings towards the amazing men and women who give their all to serve and protect this great country of ours. Their ...

“Sunday Bloody Sunday”

03/12/2015 02:52:00 AM

I miss football; Sundays just aren’t the same without it. Yes we have baseball, but truthfully I would rather watch the Cowboys win the Superbowl…who am I kidding, no I wouldn't.I also know there's church, but it's not like we can sack the ...

“Facebook: Like it or Lump it”

03/05/2015 00:14:00 AM

In addition to the "thumbs up" button, they should really have a "thumbs down" and a "middle finger" button, that way you could truly voice how you feel about some of the nonsense people post there.I feel like the “Facebook man” is keeping ...

“The ABCs of White-Trash”

02/19/2015 00:39:00 AM

Now this piece isn’t going to be about The Jackson 5 and their hit song “ABC”, or a trip down good old Sesame Street to get your learn on, so if you’re easily offended and/or looking for some of that wholesome humor that you would find ...

“Five Reasons You Know You Live Next-door to a Jerk”

02/16/2015 23:32:00 PM

Guess what all you party people out there in internetland! I have a guest blogger visiting The Insane Asylum today…and yes she’s real and not just a figment of my imagination. Check out what she has to say about neighbors from hell from ...

“Pearls of Wisdom”

02/12/2015 00:38:00 AM

I decided that since I’m so freaking smart and junk, that I would share my wisdom with all the lovely people of the internet. It’s the least I could do for the loads of free porn and hours of enjoyment I get from reading all those posts ...

“Manspreading”

01/15/2015 17:09:00 PM

First it was the seats on an airplane, fat people had to buy one or two extra all depending on their circumference to accommodate for their girth.Now however, they’ve gone too far. They are attacking innocent men who have no other option but ...

“1st and 10 Years: The Cheating Game”

01/07/2015 23:43:00 PM

This past Sunday, the call that made Cowboys fans rejoice and Lions fans go all Ray Rice on their television sets. The infamous pass interference call in the 4th quarter that could have changed the outcome of the game, but was reversed because ...

“Dear Santa Claus”

12/22/2014 22:02:00 PM

I am writing you to express my disappointment with you and the way you handle your business. For thirty-eight years now I have been getting the short end of the candy cane, I’ve been treated like an outcast as if I was a toy from The Island ...

“Racism”

12/11/2014 19:57:00 PM

With all the recent events that have unfolded lately spotlighting the issue of racism in our society I thought it only proper that we speak about it, and hopefully with a lot of hard work and dedication we can squash it all together and see ...

“The Ayes ‘I’s Have It”

10/03/2014 00:25:00 AM

Here are some secrets that I never told anyone about myself, have fun reading them but please do me a favor and do not tell anyone else, just keep it between us…okay.I… …Sometimes cry myself to sleep, but that's only because I toss and ...

“Blog-to-Blog Sex Toy Salesman”

09/11/2014 00:44:00 AM

I used to be a door-to-door salesman, I sold sneaker insurance but no one was buying, I also sold vacuum cleaners that both sucked and blew but that wasn't paying the bills, so I had to get with the digital times and try something new.I decided ...

“The ABCs of Perversion”

08/21/2014 12:32:00 PM

Now this piece isn’t going to be about The Jackson 5 and their hit song “ABC”, or a trip down good old Sesame Street to get your learn on, so if you’re easily offended and/or looking for some of that wholesome humor that you would find ...

"Intercourse Comedy"

08/10/2014 16:11:00 PM

I’m behind this chick getting busy like Don Juan, we were playing naked leap frog if you catch my drift, and then out of nowhere it hit me like a ton of bricks, I got a bad case of the giggles.Now I couldn’t tell you why it happened, it ...

“What Men Want”

07/31/2014 12:09:00 PM

A while back I wrote a piece entitled, “What Women Want” and had the aid of three lovely and very talented ladies to help me figure out just what that was.Now however, I figured it was the men’s turn to share their thoughts and spill their ...

“Holy Shit”

07/29/2014 01:33:00 AM

I have seen the Holy Grail, and I must say it was both magnificent and beautiful, a wonderful sight to behold for sure.

"How [Not] to Write Like a Blogger"

07/24/2014 00:05:00 AM

Ladies and gentleman, guess who stopped by for a visit to the Insane Asylum...the mutha fracking rockstar badass herself Terrye Toombs!When Terrye isn't annoying fellow bloggers or practicing her pole dancing routine, she can be found ranting ...

“Dafuq”

07/10/2014 20:18:00 PM

I knew I loved you before I met you…I received an email from a person I never met before, who just happened to be a hot chick that seemed to only get her photos taken at Glamour Shots.S/he first posted a very flattering compliment on my profile ...

“The Plus Side to Subtracting One”

07/01/2014 01:36:00 AM

Breakups suck, there’s always one person left hurting and wondering why, while the other, is jumping for joy like a person in one of those old Toyota commercials from the 80s.Sure you lose that certain someone, which may be good or bad depending ...

“The Freaks Come Out to Play”

06/24/2014 12:51:00 PM

Psalms (according to MJM) 23:“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of mommy bloggers, I will fear no tight asses, for craziness is with me; my rod and your vajayjay, they comfort me.”There was a time when I really believed ...

“Florida”

05/29/2014 00:20:00 AM

Florida, the state of false advertising and low IQs, if it was a celebrity it would be Anna Nicole Smith…the alive version of course. Palm trees, beautiful beaches and gorgeous women in bikinis, only in postcards, because it’s more like ...