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He Loved Books

11/12/2017 12:40:45 PM

How much do you love books? Not as much as Jeffrey Hornsmith. Check out this new story from Dave Woolston about a guy who can't get enough reading.Jeffery Hornsmith is a well educated man. First a high school diploma, then college degree in ...

Piffle

10/19/2017 19:16:12 PM

Why do people say men are pigs? Pigs are smart. Check out this new funny story from Nancy Brown about a pig named Piffle who is trying to understand human behavior. Nancy is a writer in her 60's hoping to set the world on fire.My name is Piffle. ...

Sex with Rocks

08/19/2017 11:33:38 AM

Take a romantic stroll into the woods in this new funny flash fiction story from Daniel Craig Roche. Several of Daniel's short stories have appeared in print through Tough Lit Magazine and Idea Gems Magazine. Many more of his stories, poems, ...

Three Brothers

08/10/2017 14:54:40 PM

This funny story is all that, and Dim Sum! Written by Susan J. Powers, this tale takes you on a ride to the Three Brothers Chinese restaurant, where our protagonist must prove herself a worthy chef. Susan's stories have appeared in numerous ...

I'm Glad I Finally Shared This Comic

07/28/2017 23:54:22 PM

Tiger Mothers

07/23/2017 13:33:04 PM

Rocket Scientist

07/22/2017 21:40:50 PM

Tiger Moms

07/22/2017 21:40:26 PM

Gumball

07/21/2017 16:35:45 PM

Jonas “Gumball” Peters froze in front of the refrigerator, unable to proceed; fishing around in his pocket, he produced a quarter and swallowed it, allowing him to tug the fridge handle. Gumball groaned as he looked inside, subtracting another ...

Fixer-Upper

07/19/2017 17:38:47 PM

Our app describes itself as “powerful photo editing software;” this may be over-the-top for $3.99, but the 4.5-star rating will convince you to splurge. You purchase the app and, while waiting for it to download, finish your $14 bottle of ...

Bootstraps

07/15/2017 01:49:26 AM

Lava

07/15/2017 01:42:37 AM

Bakery Bitch

07/10/2017 18:56:37 PM

“We call her the bakery bitch,” Will declared as they strolled down the sidewalk, passing the bakery. He pointed to a dark haired fortyish woman behind the counter. `“Is she really that bad?” Samantha asked as they entered a coffee ...

The Scorpion and the Tortoise

07/09/2017 15:40:37 PM

Expectations

07/09/2017 15:40:34 PM

Helen’s Homemade Porn Bombs

07/07/2017 19:47:15 PM

Helen’s saying something fractious on the phone to John, who’s acting as if she’s stabbed him in an artery just below the throat and wants rave reviews from the 3 of us for his acting.She gets louder and we can hear everything.“Let’s ...

Leaving the Pen

07/03/2017 20:47:02 PM

The path between the fences had never seemed so long, but Talbert was enjoying the conversation with Warden as they strode toward the gate. “Remember,” Warden said. “Remember what you’ve learned these past three years. Nothing comes ...

Half-Assing It

07/03/2017 18:48:12 PM

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Jasper

06/30/2017 17:44:48 PM

Just after Jasper turned seven, he began swallowing objects, things he found and put in his mouth. At first it was just small plastic non-descript items; the prize that came in the cereal box, the cap to the milk bottle. There was not any ...

Dog Thoughts

06/29/2017 21:13:52 PM

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Bear

06/29/2017 21:10:40 PM

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Saturday Morning Observation (Written in the Afternoon)

06/26/2017 20:03:31 PM

If you didn’t wake up in a bed stained with ink, did you even go to bed with a writer? Incriminate myself, too. Take a look for yourself. Peel back the duvet to see the stain on the spot where a man’s head should have been leaning on my ...

Begging the Question

06/21/2017 23:31:06 PM

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Aesop's Conspiracy

06/19/2017 20:36:50 PM

After sixty years, the tortoise’s conscience finally broke like a prisoner of war in a dank prison cell, so she called a press conference. "It is with great shame that I crawl before you today." Journalists from all over the world and from ...

Manga

06/18/2017 19:42:39 PM

This video was created by David Gregory, drawn by someone else, and written by Wrencherd (which is not his real name). Music: http://www.bensound.comDid you like it? Click here to submit your own funny monologue. If accepted, we create a vi ...

Meet Trouble

06/15/2017 20:47:14 PM

“Strawberry daiquiri,” you tell the bartender. You’re trying your best not to let on that you notice, but Trouble’s next to you. Her gorilla’s next to her. Biker arms, Duck Dynasty beard. You’ll drink and bounce. You poked the gorilla. ...

Echo Chambers

06/15/2017 19:14:12 PM

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A Moment's Self-Indulgence

06/12/2017 21:27:02 PM

He unfurled a long, clawed fingernail and explored the depths of his nostril with it. He poked and prodded, scratched and scraped, and eventually withdrew a brownish-greenish snot oyster. It sat impaled upon his claw, sweating in the early evening ...

Elevator

06/11/2017 14:21:04 PM

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Unusual

06/11/2017 14:21:02 PM

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Fishy

06/08/2017 19:59:19 PM

I acquired Killian Jones—a male, half moon betta fish—when I went to my local Staples for printer ink. After spending $44 too much on both black and colored ink for my subpar printer, I exited out onto the shopping plaza. I saw the blue ...

Science

06/03/2017 10:01:30 AM

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Sooner

05/29/2017 19:02:52 PM

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Water on Mars

05/29/2017 19:02:50 PM

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Bombazine!

05/29/2017 15:53:58 PM

“Elfin,” shouted Dolph. “Recherché,” countered Starla.Adjective Slam. Playing on stage for amateur night at Café Primitivo. “A big hand for newcomers Dolph and Starla!” said Tannis, senior bartender and default ringmaster. Regulars ...

Done and Dusted

05/26/2017 17:18:09 PM

The mansion owner ran his entitled fat finger along the staircase banister. Fault-finding judgement announced on his artificially tanned features before she’d even looked. Ophelia knew what was coming. This was a mere formality to assert his ...

Ka Maluhia

05/22/2017 18:56:29 PM

Steel drums chimed in the twilight. Palm fronds above the cantina swayed in the breeze. A big Polynesian man with tribal tattoos covering his arms that bulged from his kahuna shirt moved back and forth filling, shaking, and pouring metal cups. ...

Peter Piper

05/19/2017 15:26:15 PM

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,Where’s the peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked?Yes, it was I, Peter Piper, who picked a peck ...

Medicine

05/18/2017 19:52:50 PM

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Don't Feel BAAAAAAD

05/16/2017 20:13:46 PM

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Everybody Hates Taxes

05/15/2017 19:07:46 PM

He looked at the piece of metal sticking out of his arms, a shiny chrome tube stealing his blood and warmth. He was getting sick of this. A moment of pain supernovaed in his arm. He winced, but didn't say anything to the blood attendant. A big ...

Work

05/14/2017 13:15:02 PM

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The Paul Ryan Diaries

05/11/2017 20:26:33 PM

November 22nd 8 PMFor some strange, fucked up reason, I’m falling for Paul Ryan. A pregnant Paul Ryan. We met in Lamaze class. I know, I know. It’s wrong. It’s sooooo wrong. Ryan looks like the devil every time he pops up on C-SPAN. He’s ...

Always

05/11/2017 19:56:06 PM

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Losing My Religion

05/09/2017 20:51:11 PM

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Broken

05/08/2017 19:46:33 PM

When I open the door she’s in a burlap sack and nothing else. We stare into each other’s eyes with equal horror and terror. “Can I – can I help you?” I muster. “Oh, please!” She collapses into my arms and starts weeping. Her bones ...

The Doorbell

05/04/2017 20:59:56 PM

The fact that the doorbell rang was weird enough. Tristan wasn’t expecting a mail delivery or guests, or a ringing doorbell from either anyway since it was broken, so the presence of a white box on his doorstep made a little more sense for ...

Life is like...

05/04/2017 19:53:22 PM

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Snapper

05/01/2017 23:27:01 PM

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Sunset

05/01/2017 23:24:15 PM

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Paradoxes Solved

04/27/2017 21:33:01 PM

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Keep Me Away From Garage Sales, Please

04/26/2017 12:04:27 PM

This video was created by David Gregory, drawn by somebody else, and written by Ian Saviet. Ian Saviet is currently an undergrad at Seton Hall University, and is still playing Pokemon Go for some reason.Did you like it? Click here to submit ...

Most Realistic Way to Make Money Writing

04/25/2017 21:39:17 PM

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T'was the Night Before Christmas; Southern Style

04/24/2017 21:56:10 PM

'Twas the night before Christmas would trash up the house. Who's gonna be Santa? Me or the spouse?Our kidlet was playing possum you see -hoping to glimpse the Big Guy (and not me!)When out by the pool there arose such a splash, (it turns out ...

Nah...

04/22/2017 19:34:37 PM

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Mark Twain Once Said...

04/22/2017 19:33:16 PM

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Don't Be So Microsoft

04/19/2017 22:55:43 PM

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Happy Easter!

04/15/2017 13:45:20 PM

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Be Gone Demon!

04/15/2017 13:32:59 PM

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A Stupid Red Cape

04/14/2017 15:51:13 PM

I was just getting up and hadn’t even had a cup of coffee when I heard a knock on my front door. It was only 9:30 on a Saturday morning but I went and answered it anyway. When I opened the door it took me a second to register what I was looking ...

BOOooo

04/12/2017 20:39:05 PM

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Ghost Love

04/11/2017 17:42:52 PM

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Brenda

04/11/2017 10:45:43 AM

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Undies

04/10/2017 18:00:45 PM

So I found this pair of underpants in the bathroom after my cousin and her boyfriend left for Ithaca. They were green with gold stripes and they weren’t mine. I stood there for a long time considering them.They weren’t dirty but they weren’t ...

Gano

04/07/2017 20:24:54 PM

This video was created by David Gregory, drawn by somebody else, and written by Don Narkevic. Don Narkevic is from Weston, WV, and received his MFA from National University. His recent poetry has appeared in Blue Collar Review, Off the Coast, ...

The Bourbon Boycott for Social Justice

04/06/2017 20:55:11 PM

I love Kentucky bourbon far beyond the double-shot buzz on Saturday afternoon. The texture, flavor, and warmth are all well-mannered. But because of a Kentucky clerk’s fitful refusal to issue marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples ...

WWJD

04/04/2017 23:35:55 PM

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Ghost Meeting

04/03/2017 21:52:03 PM

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Bible Study

04/03/2017 18:36:36 PM

Sam and Barbara Geldowski cleared the table of the St. Stan’s basement after the weekly parish Bible Study group, not a difficult task as only three other people attended, so in total they disposed of five Dunkin Donut coffees and a few napkins.As ...

Bored

04/01/2017 23:40:24 PM

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Deal with a Demon

04/01/2017 19:54:40 PM

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Trivial Things

04/01/2017 17:58:45 PM

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Scary Things

04/01/2017 14:21:32 PM

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Income

03/30/2017 20:34:41 PM

He ran back to his spot on the Interstate ramp, tucking the five dollar bill into his hip pocket. It had been a wind sprint, but it was worth it. Cutting across the ramp and down the emergency lane, he accepted the fiver from a middle-aged ...

The Sixth Sense

03/25/2017 17:31:30 PM

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Demon Tries Stand-Up

03/25/2017 12:56:12 PM

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Demon and Ghost at Church

03/24/2017 22:39:11 PM

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Car Name

03/24/2017 17:46:46 PM

It has been almost a year since Dave has driven a car, but it’s because he is a car. This may not make sense now but it will. There’s a town where there is a car named Dave that drives cars. He’s a mascot that doesn’t make enough money ...

Flow

03/20/2017 20:54:18 PM

It was on a dreary night of November that I beheld the accomplishment of my toils. I assembled the wires, tongs, cables, and levers to animate the lifeless body beside my keds. A half-eaten tuna-avocado sub lay by its head. Taking a gulp ...

Acceptance Speech

03/20/2017 20:45:05 PM

I would like to thank the Academy, whatever family members and professional associates are obligatory to rattle off, a higher power to be named later, and, most of all, most importantly, myself.Let’s face it, my loving spouse, my unctuous ...

Pajama Experts

03/19/2017 14:34:59 PM

This video was created by David Gregory, drawn by somebody else, and written by Ian Saviet. Ian Saviet is currently an undergrad at Seton Hall University, and is still playing Pokemon Go for some reason.Did you like it? Click here to submit ...

Are we all doomed?

03/16/2017 20:58:33 PM

So what's this comic about?

Grow Me Out a Little

03/16/2017 20:27:01 PM

Each morning I check the mirror and compare the growth of my facial hair to that of my voluminous, unkempt pubes. A therapist said this morning routine was no good for my self-worth, which had plummeted so low I could only find it by zip-lining ...

Life Priorities

03/16/2017 19:47:50 PM

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Gold Diggers

03/13/2017 19:38:03 PM

It was all flat prairie with just a single ridge, and two grizzled prospectors, Tex and Colorado, climbing the ridge on opposite sides and unaware of one another, met unexpectedly at the top.“Howdy,” Colorado said.“Any luck?” Tex said. ...

Blue Pill Time Bomb

03/10/2017 13:21:00 PM

Here’s me in a grocery store, Sunday morning and I’m in a rush. I tap the shoulder of the lady in front and politely ask, “Uh, ma’am could I please cut in front of you? Seeing as how you have a full, one might even say, overflowing grocery ...

Garden Gossip

03/06/2017 14:55:09 PM

Good Morning, Glory.Hi, vivacious Violet.Did you hear Mary has a gold ring on her wedding finger?Is it from that Sweet William?He’s wearing a Bachelor’s Button.I believe so. What do you think her Poppy will say?We’ll have to ast ‘er.How ...

I Met Jesus in Hart Plaza Last Wednesday

03/03/2017 08:42:40 AM

I was my dear mother’s only child, and long ago she used to tell me that, someday, I would meet Jesus Christ. Naturally, I believed her. I knew, beyond a doubt, that I was destined to meet the Son of God. Well, last Wednesday afternoon, ...

Not Our Business

02/28/2017 16:44:43 PM

Sarah looked up from her cereal, a soggy mess of alphabet shapes, and gazed out of the kitchen window. In the neighboring yard a man, dressed in a leather flak jacket, with goggles on his head, was kicking a wooden structure. It had a bowl attached ...

Demon Forgets His Password

02/28/2017 00:01:30 AM

Cleanliness and Godliness

02/27/2017 20:29:23 PM

When A Man Loves A Cookie

02/27/2017 17:55:30 PM

It was a dark and stormy night. Seriously. I don’t know how else to describe it without consulting Roget’s. Anyhow, I have the place to myself. Monica, my oft-beloved bride, organized a girl’s night out. That means NFL on the big screen, ...

Diddly Do Summer Camp

02/24/2017 22:18:30 PM

This video was created by David Gregory, drawn by somebody else, and written by Ian Saviet. Ian Saviet is currently an undergrad at Seton Hall University, and is still playing Pokemon Go for some reason.Did you like it? Click here to submit ...

Viewings Available

02/24/2017 22:04:03 PM

We had been looking at properties in the High Peak for as long as I could remember. We had been gazumped more than once. This particular Saturday afternoon we went to a property in Furness Vale.First impressions were good: nice little front ...

Nailed

02/21/2017 18:10:06 PM

Suzy didn’t groan about taking after her mother’s nail polish habit the same way she groaned about other habits. She loved to paint her nails in the car right before leaving her house. She wouldn’t be handling anything for a sustained ...

Book Idea

02/20/2017 14:42:52 PM

Oh, The Glare

02/20/2017 09:28:30 AM

There is no choice, we make the point To counteract a threatening hand…--Bauhaus, “Burning From the Inside”When you’re the lone goth in rural Hicktown, West Virginia, you tend to get some stares. Sometimes those stares are full-on m ...

Life's Too Short for Fast Food

02/19/2017 17:37:58 PM

This video was created by David Gregory, and written by somebody else. Laconic Granny - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...Did you like it? Click here ...

Connected

02/17/2017 12:24:00 PM

Fred hesitated before pressing the Very Intelligent, Likeable Dental Appliance’s on-switch.“Good morning, Frederick Singleton, “Vilda said. “Was the romantic encounter with your candidate mate successful in the prior time period?”Vilda ...

Humor

02/12/2017 22:31:48 PM