Online Dating: Chemistry or Compatibility?
Posted on Apr 24 2012 at 05:35:02 PM in People
You receive an email from your dating website; “Here are your matches for this week”. What does that mean? Your algorithms matched; you’ve checked the “right” boxes or based on previous interests and communications, you’ll like this person? It’s probably a combination of these factors and more; a good start but certainly not the tell-all. It appears you’re compatible, which is great if you’re simply looking for a hiking buddy but many believe a long-term, romantic relationship also requires that spark, butterflies in our stomach, goose bumps or heart racing, often called “chemistry”.
Whether or not there is truly a science to online dating is up for debate. Dating websites such as EHarmony and Chemistry.com say “yes” but won’t divulge their secret recipes for success. The independent research however is pointing towards no; they claim there are too many outside factors that can skew the results.
So how do you know if there’s going to be chemistry? According to a new paper written in the current issue of Psychological Science in the Public Interest, you have to meet.
We cannot ignore the statistic; one in five couples met online. Internet dating has significantly increased our chances of finding a partner. It greatly assists in narrowing our search and we can conveniently peruse profiles in the comfort of our homes, at Starbucks, on our Smart Phones or if your boss isn’t looming, at work.
Regardless, it seems we can’t rely wholly on the dating sites to find our ideal match. So, what’s a dater to do? Don’t expect the sites do all the heavy lifting; work with them. It’s our responsibility to post quality, recent photos, be honest and put significant effort into writing a unique profile that’s more than a string of adjectives. Write a profile that lends insight by demonstrating your personality traits not describing them. The reward… you will stand out, be noticed and help your fellow online daters weed through thousands of potential matches who are all “kind, honest, warm, adventurous, charitable, patient, romantic, funny; Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent”.