JBenzakein Profile

I’ve been told that I should be a basket-case. If you ask me, from time to time, we are all basket-cases for various reasons. But what people seem to really want to know is how I managed to escape fairly unscarred? Bottom line is I decided that the legacy I had to pass on didn’t have to be the one passed on to me… I could create a deliberate legacy… one of joy, one of laughter and hugs, and one where memories were worth saving.

So, despite what I started out as, what I’ve become is a survivor – of state foster care, of incest and sexual abuse, of a volatile marriage and subsequent divorce, of an exceptionally dysfunctional family, of 6 miscarriages, and of the consequences of my own bad decisions. I am also happily married to my best friend, the mother of THE MOST AMAZING little boy, and I spend a lot of my time caring for our 2 dogs, our 2 cats, our 2 birds, and assortment of freshwater and saltwater fish. I enjoy cooking (although I am my own worst critic), crocheting, geocaching, singing/music, and family games (including DDR with my husband… Mr. River-dance).

My husband and I relocated to the Northwoods of Wisconsin in February 2004 to start a family and because Wisconsin “is a lot like Ireland”… remind me to tell you that story later! We picked Rhinelander completely at random. We started out by visiting various chamber sites for cities located near Madison. Eventually, we came upon the Rhinelander site and the story of The Hodag… a town founded on what turned out to be a practical joke seemed worth a second look… even if it wasn’t anywhere near Madison. We sold our home in California, found a home here online, put in an offer sight unseen, loaded up the moving van and set off for our new life. A few years after moving here, the “den house” of Eugene Shepherd (the man who “captured” the Hodag) came on the market and we bought it. A year later the main house of the estate was offered to us and we jumped at the chance to reunite the estate with plans to turn the den house into a Bed & Breakfast. We laugh that the Hodag is what brought us to Rhinelander and now we live in “the Hodag house”.

In June of 2005, Marc and I welcomed our son, Elijah Russell, to the world. He was and is truly our little miracle. Life was good before Eli, but we had no idea how amazing it would be once Eli became a part of our lives. Little things that went overlooked before are suddenly seen from an entirely new perspective. We certainly laugh more than we ever did – we are a pretty laughable bunch! Eli has given us a new appreciation for: Thomas the Tank Engine, Power Rangers, Spiderman (and “Lemons”… remind me to tell you about that later also), dinosaurs, dancing, Hot Wheels cars, pirates … the list goes on and on. He’s smart, quick-witted, and genuinely an amusing little boy (and don’t just take my word for it… I can get you sworn statements if you want…). We hope to add to our family – which Eli informed me today is taking FOREVER – someday soon. If you ask Eli which he wants… a brother or a sister, he will tell you “both”. From his lips to God’s ears!

My life is not problem-free. I cry. I get angry. I argue. I don’t always listen. I sometimes lack discipline. I also laugh a lot. I love a lot. And every now and then, and with a lot of encouragement from my wonderful husband, I think that maybe my life might be an inspiration for others.

Quotes that mean something to me:

The Benzakein Family Motto- Suck it up! We do what we are supposed to do so we can do what we want to do… in other words, we get the work out of the way so that we can play! Through it all, never forget to live, laugh, and love.

I am only one, but still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do what I can. – Edward Everett Hale

Do all the good that you can, by all the means that you can, in all the ways that you can, in all the places that you can, at all the times that you can, to all the peoplethat you can, as long as you ever can. – John Wesley

The best gift your child can have is the gift of time with you. Reading, singing, playing, dancing, catching fireflies – it’s all good. The rest is gravy.