Not Google PlusByDan GurewitchBy now you've probably heard aboutGoogle+, a new social networkingplatform. But there are already somany of those.That's why we've created NotGoogle+. Joining is simple: First,don't join Google+. Then, onceyou've done that, don't invite yourfriends to join Google+. They'llall start not inviting theirfriends to join, and soon, nobodywill feel any need or desire tojoin Google+, and we can all get onwith our lives.On Not Google+, you'll have fun notspending hours dividing yourfriends into "circles," not havingto update your "stream," and notworrying about "huddles" and"hangouts" or even learning whatthose words mean!In fact, Not Google+ has nolearning curve at all - everyonealive has years of experience usingit! You're an expert!Not Google+ provides the mostprivacy of any social platform.There's no mobile app to download.You won't have to worry aboutsyncing it to FourSquare andTumblr, you won't feel acompulsive, insecure need torefresh it, and it will nevercontribute to an irrational fear of"missing out."Not Google+ accomplishes all ofthis simply by being, bydefinition, something that does nottechnically exist in the physicalrealm. No one has ever received 14invitations to a one-woman show ona website that doesn't exist!Best of all, you're already a NotGoogle+ member. To continue yourmembership, simply continue notjoining Google+.Eat a cantaloupe, clean yourtoilet, play tetherball with asmall Portuguese child - as long asyou're not joining Google+, you'reenjoying the benefits of NotGoogle+. It's that easy!If you enjoyed our other products,"Definitely Not Google Wave" and"Get The Hell Out of Here With ThatGoogle Buzz Thing, Just Stop," you,like us, understand that thebiggest revolution in socialnetworking would be for there to beno more revolutions in socialnetworking. Not Google+: BecauseEnough Already.END.

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