The town of Vicksburg, Mississippi was seized earlier today be a drunken Will Muschamp. In honor of Presidents Day and his favorite president, Ulysses S. Grant, Muschamp drank three bottles of whiskey and then marched northwest, burning and pillaging almost everything in his path until reaching the famous Civil War town that sits on the Mississippi River. Muschamp was heard yelling, ''IF WE CONTROL THE MIGHTY MISSISSIPPI, WE CONTROL RECRUITING IN THE SOUTH!''

read more: Muschamp Honors Ulysses S. Grant By Getting Drunk, Seizing Vicksburg