Blog Feed: Zombie Logic Press

After four years of fantasy football I'm starting to realize it's not always how well you draft, because almost everyone comes out of the draft with a reasonable chance to win, it's the players you steal far ahead of their actual performance that year that make the difference. Two years ago those who got Arian Foster in later rounds had an enormous advantage over everyone else, assuming the rest of their draft wasn't a disaster. So, this year, instead of going in with a plan to slot different po [..] > read more

Top Five Children's Books of 2012 For the Youngest Readers

Published on 2012-05-24 21:10:00

With the trend being for clever or snarky children's books, it's becoming increasingly difficult for parents to find books for children that are just heartfelt and sincere. here are five that were published in 2012 that are more than appropriate and worthwhile for young children.1) I Broke My Trunk > read more

Famous Crashes of NASCAR History #1 Dale Earnhardt

Published on 2012-05-24 18:31:00

On Sunday, Feb. 18, 2001, at the Daytona International Speedway in Daytona Beach, Fla., Dale > read more

Theo Epstein's Theology 101 And Building Last Place Teams

Published on 2012-05-22 19:45:00

I just checked MLB.com to verify this, but at the exact instant I write this blog, Theo Epstein and his band of baseball savants, including his right-hand man Jed Hoyer, are responsible for building three last place teams. That's right, The Cubs, The Padres, and The Boston Red Sox are all in last place right now. All they need is five years and a billion dollars and they can build something really special. I think most of us could.The sweet smell of... last placeAnd the builder of the last place [..] > read more

Death Bed, George Barry, and Garwood Mansion

Published on 2012-05-20 18:56:00

Even with all the new digital equipment it's not easy to make a full-length motion picture. It certainly wasn't any easier in 1972 when George Barry started filming > read more

Thus Barked Zaradogstra

Published on 2012-05-19 19:24:00

This is what happens when I get caught up on my work on Saturday night. This may be the single most pointless thing I've ever created. > read more

Holy Horrors! Plastic Age Productions Releases Collection of Horror Shorts.

Published on 2012-05-19 16:48:00

For fans of the short horror story genre, you're in luck. This correspondent was recently lucky enough to obtain a review copy of > read more

Kerry Wood, Go Disappoint People Who Aren't Cub Fans Now

Published on 2012-05-18 16:21:00

As Kerry Wood prepares to leave Chicago (actually, why would he ever leave Chicago where he's beloved even after 14 years of disappointing fans, managers, and teammates) I have just one thought... good riddance. I saw the 1998 twenty strikeout game against the Astros, just like everyone else, but what i never did was make the mistake of waiting for Kerry Wood to ever live up to that potential. See, I'm a Cubs' fan, and the Sean Dunston example was fresh in my memory. Sean Dunston and Kerry Wood, [..] > read more

Rhino Poaching Must End. Justice For Rhinos.

Published on 2012-05-18 02:05:00

This week the police in Johannesburg broke into an apartment and seized ten rhinoceros horns meant to be exported as a source of "medicine." Rhinoceros poaching has become an epidemic in Africa, and even though nations like South Africa are tightening and beginning to more stringently enforce their laws, countries like Vietnam and China are very permissive to importing such illegally obtained so-called medicines. So far this year over 200 rhinos have been poached in South Africa alone. > read more

Order New Childrens Book The Toughskin Rhinoceros Wrangler Company

Published on 2012-05-17 21:42:00

What happens when the rhinos at the local zoo want to follow their friend Rhino Jack home?Find out by ordering > read more

The Korean Zombie Defeats French Named Sissy in MMA Fight

Published on 2012-05-16 01:57:00

Combining two of Zombie Logic's favorite activities last night, MMA fighter Chan Sung "The Korean Zombie" Jung defeated more highly rated opponent Dustin Poirier with a fourth round application of the exquisitely undesirable D'arce choke hold, causing Poirier to question whether he wanted to continue the melee. He chose not to...For most of the fight it appeared The Korean Zombie was intentionally trying to kick and punch his opponent in vulnerable areas of his body. Not very zombie-like in this [..] > read more

Pictures of Norman Fell Pretending Jack Tripper is Fruity

Published on 2012-05-15 19:23:00

There's absolutely no redemptive value to this particular blog entry, it's just pictures of actor Norman Fell in his Three's Company role of Mr. Roper making hand signals that indicate he believes fellow actor John Ritter is homosexual. So, here we go...In this hand signal Norman Fell is making the Tinkerbell gesture, which shows that he believes pastry chef Jack Tripper is gay.Here we see a slight variation of the Double Tinkerbell gesture from Norman Fell. And the conspiratorial eye roll to re [..] > read more

The Boneyard, Starring Norman Fell and Phyllis Diller

Published on 2012-05-15 00:21:00

The 1991 horror movie > read more

Grow Up, Patrick Kane

Published on 2012-05-13 15:19:00

When pictures surfaced of a Madison frat house bender Chicago Blackhawk's player Patrick Kane went on last weekend, the initial response on talk radio and from most bloggists and even reporters was the classic "boys being boys." There were a few voices suggesting that maybe Kaner's time might better be spent hitting the weight room so he doesn't get his skinny ass bullied all over the ice again next year, but by and large most commentators defended it as just the harmless antics of a young star [..] > read more

Mother's Day With the Lord

Published on 2012-05-13 14:14:00

Jesus, by most reports, was quite a problem child. Even a murderer, really. Killing one of his childhood friends by pushing him from a roof, young Jesus manifested his powers for the first time by bringing him back to life. After an undistinguished career as a child, Jesus disappeared. Some believe he went to the Far East to study with the Buddhists, but that seems unlikely. When Jesus re-emerged he was the Messiah. Many might find it interesting that Jesus and his Disciples really weren't very [..] > read more

Mitt Romney: Once a Bully, Always a Bully

Published on 2012-05-11 17:53:00

What does a bully look like? I don't know. Do you? The attack Mitt Romney participated in upon a gay student all those years ago bears haunting similarities to dozens of stories we see in the news each year. It calls to mind the type of intolerance and ignorance that led to the torture and murder of > read more

May 13th Is National Baron von Raschke Day

Published on 2012-05-11 01:47:00

May 13th is National Baron von Raschke Day. Make sure to celebrate by giving your mom The Claw."And that's all the people need to know."New National Holidays > read more

Ka-Pow!

Published on 2012-05-10 20:02:00

Google says I don't write enough words for the amount of pictures I post, but when you work with an artist like Jenny Mathews I say Google can go search themselves.Ka-Pow!Buy some art > read more

Two Bridges, One Haiku

Published on 2012-05-10 19:23:00

I'm really fond of two very similar, yet completely different forms of poetry- > read more

Invasion of the Blood Farmers

Published on 2012-05-07 23:49:00

Invasion of the Blood Farmers is a movie that never escapes the it's so bad it's just bad" category to even dream about being so bad that it's good. In this movie something strange is going on in upstate New York, and we don't mean a Harvard educated quarterback is starting for the Buffalo Bills. Four words and four pictures sum it up.They're aliens. Amish aliens. Amish aliens who...are also Druids. Druids who...Harvest blood. That's the plot."I believe you have my stapler."It's dumb. It's bad. [..] > read more

Demoniacs (Jean Rollin)

Published on 2012-05-07 21:46:00

The Demoniacs, also titled > read more

The New York Yankees and Jung's Ultimate Rescuer Fallacy

Published on 2012-05-06 21:09:00

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The Bulls Run As An "Elite" Team Is Over

Published on 2012-05-06 17:32:00

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Buck Zumhofe To Be Special Guest DJ For New National Holiday

Published on 2012-05-06 15:36:00

May 7th has been designated by the National Department of New National Holidays as If That's Freedom Rock, Well Turn It Up Day with special guest DJ Buck "Rock N Roll" Zumhofe.Rock on, Buck Zumhofe. Rock on. > read more

The Banyans of Li Po Lung Path Haiku

Published on 2012-05-06 00:08:00

The Banyans of Li Po Lung Path HaikuLi Po Lung Path, Hong Kong > read more

The Northernaire Hotel and the Awful Movie Bill Rebane Made There

Published on 2012-05-05 22:32:00

There was a huge hotel that used to stand in the small town I grew up in. The Byron Inn. It's gone for over 25 years now, and because I'm not huge on remembering the place I grew up, I barely remember it. I know it must have held hundreds of people because it took up a whole city block, and where it once stood they managed to fit a public library and a fire station with room to spare. My cousin opened a record shop there in the early 80's when they tried opening it up as a storefront as a last d [..] > read more

Three Haikus From Different Views

Published on 2012-05-05 16:59:00

Li PoThree Haikus FromDifferent Views1) If Li Po Were LookingOut My WindowNaming birds in theCourtyard all day my wine andMy cares fly away2) If Cid Corman Were LookingOut My WindowTaking care to name > read more

Bridge Tiny Drawing

Published on 2012-05-04 16:10:00

Not breaking the fourth wall in poetry is a time-honored tradition challenged > read more

Bridge Haiku

Published on 2012-05-04 01:10:00

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National Krausening Day

Published on 2012-05-03 15:02:00

Forget Cinco de Mayo, May 5th is now National Krausening Day.This year's master of ceremonies: Charles Bronson. > read more

May 3rd Is National Humbleness Day With The Iron Sheik

Published on 2012-05-02 21:58:00

May 3rd is National Humbleness Day.The Iron Sheik will humble you! > read more

Death By Dialogue

Published on 2012-05-02 02:33:00

In the 1988 film Death By Dialogue, a group of college students head into the California wilderness to visit an uncle who conveniently lives next to an abandoned film set. None of what happens in the movie makes any sense outside of the setup that there's a possessed movie script that is unearthed, and whoever reads it will be subject to the grisly details contained in the storyline, up to and including...Having sex with this chick, then for no damn reason at all wandering into the forest and... [..] > read more

The Seven Brothers Meet Dracula

Published on 2012-05-02 01:29:00

The Seven Brothers Meet Dracula, also known as The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires, is a Hammer production, directed by one of my favorite horror directors of all time, Roy Ward Baker. Some of Baker's films include The Monster Club, Vault of Horror, Asylum, The Vampire Lovers, and Five Million Years to Earth. > read more

May Day Beltane Webcomic

Published on 2012-05-01 13:13:00

May Day! May Day!What if they tried to throw a war and only the bloodthirsty war mongerers who profited from bloodshed showed up? Congratulations to Occupy and other protesters everywhere today for keeping it peaceful.More > read more

Famous Crashes of NASCAR History (Number 3 Donnie Allison v Cale Yarborough)

Published on 2012-04-29 15:00:00

Donnie Allison and Cale Yarborough /// Daytona /// 1979Rubbin' is racin'. And so is punchin'.I'll bite your damn leg off, Yarborough.Not before I kick you in the paunch, Allison.Heck with that. Let's all just get drunk and play Twister. > read more

Tom Thibodeau Finally Ruins Derrick Rose's Career

Published on 2012-04-28 18:03:00

Chicago Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau led the team to a 62-20 record in the 2010-2011 regular season and won the NBA Coach of the Year Award. Bulls' fans were ecstatic. This seemed to be the best turn of a lucky card since the Bulls won the lottery to draft Derrick Rose . The Bulls walked through the Eastern Conference rather easily... until they met the Miami Heat. That's when Tom Thibodeau and Bulls' fans should have learned a lesson, namely that regular season wins are about as valuable as Pogs t [..] > read more

The Chicago Bears 2012 Draft: My Evaluation

Published on 2012-04-28 14:23:00

After a decade of dismal drafts I was like most Bear's fans and was glad to see General Manager Jerry Angelo go earlier this year. After other teams seemed to snap up most of the top tier General Manager candidates I have to admit I thought they settled when they chose Phil Emery as the new General Manager. I was also suspicious of the fact that as a condition of his hiring Emery was prevented from firing head coach Lovie Smith. Not that I feel Lovie should be fired, but management structure in [..] > read more

Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews (Ghostkeeper)

Published on 2012-04-27 23:10:00

Ghostkeeper is a 1982 Canadian movie that fits into the desolate/derelict/forsaken places series of reviews I've been doing lately that includes movies such as > read more

Humongous (1982): Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews

Published on 2012-04-27 22:24:00

Humongous > read more

Zombie Logic Press Webcomics

Published on 2012-04-27 21:41:00

So, tonight Jenny and I have an impasses. I had an idea for a Zombie Logic Press webcomic involving how most people simply seem to be waiting for other people to make something or say something so they can show how smart and clever they are by replying in wise-ass fashion. But even though I've been thinking about this all week I just couldn't get the handle on a perfect caption. So we did more than one, but after I selected the one I liked best Jenny said, no I got the perfect caption. To which [..] > read more

Tiny Drawing April 24, 2012

Published on 2012-04-25 00:24:00

Today's > read more

Momus Shrugged

Published on 2012-04-23 16:46:00

Momus is the Greek god of satire, mockery, scoffing, and criticism. The original hater. As such, it is no surprise he is also the god of poets and writers. On Mount Olympus, home of the Greek Gods, Momus performed much the same role as the Fool did in Shakespeare's plays, namely being the one person allowed to be critical of those in power without suffering the consequences. Of course The Fool's, and Momus' immunity was not absolute. Some criticisms were more well received than others, and there [..] > read more

Wikipedia Editors and Chronic Masturbation: A Study

Published on 2012-04-23 02:01:00

I imagine anyone who edits Wikipedia to be qualified to edit only one entry: masturbation. Seriously, who sits there just waiting for someone to edit a page on Demond Wilson? I can see them clearly in their parents' basement just punishing it to a VHS copy of The Facts of Life when the the bell sounds announcing someone has altered the entry about Lamont Sanford. He springs to his feet, grabs the staff he bought at Comicon, and tries his hardest to sound like Wolverine as he mutters "Time to dol [..] > read more

All Canadians Must Die

Published on 2012-04-22 20:25:00

This is Zombie Logic Press' latest webcomic, apparently titled All Canadians Must Die. It is what happens when all the artists are busy. > read more

An Afternoon With Fred "Butch" Wells

Published on 2012-04-22 19:17:00

Jenny has an event today, so I of course get a flurry of ideas for web comics. No problem, I think to myself, these are just dippy ideas about Jane Fonda and Dinty Moore Beef Stew, I'll just sketch out some stick figures and drop the text in on Photoshop. Right?Wrong. > read more

Revenge of the Cheerleaders (Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews)

Published on 2012-04-21 22:33:00

In the 1970's the unwritten rule was it was permisable to make an intentionally schlocky, exploitation movie full of nudity, violence, and drug use because if it was only to be shown at night outdoors as part of a double or triple bill where everyone knew the rules. > read more

Revenge of the Dead (Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews)

Published on 2012-04-21 16:37:00

I have only one small quibble with the 1983 "zombie" movie Revenge of the Dead (Zeder): no zombies. Despite one of the best zombie movie posters of all time...There are no zombies in this movie at all. Not really. It's a supernatural detective story, and the plot is somewhat similar to the story in the Johnny Depp movie The Ninth Gate. > read more

Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews: Antropophagus (The Grim Reaper)

Published on 2012-04-21 00:25:00

Sometimes I conflate movies. Two movies I may or may not have seen combine to create one super movie that no one else can really see, but such are the joys of madness and advanced age. It's my review and I can write it any way I want. > read more

The Dover Demon

Published on 2012-04-20 21:49:00

Were it not for the alliteration of the words, it is doubtful the cryptid known as The Dover Demon would ever have been called The Dover Demon at all. > read more

Squonk

Published on 2012-04-19 20:47:00

The Squonk is more a parable and cautionary tale for children about the dangers of self-pity than an actual crytpid, but in the lonely forests of northern Pennsylvania, the pitiable Squonk was born into legend in the late 19th century. > read more

The Enfield Horror

Published on 2012-04-19 19:42:00

The state of Illinois has never been a hotbed of cryptid sightings. Probably the most enduring myth is that of the Thunderbird sightings near Alton, Illinois, but probably the strangest and most frenzied monster sighting occurred in 1973 in Enfield, Illinois. Although mostly forgotten today, for a short time the terrifying monster known as The Enfield Horror had this small community in a state of high horror.　The bizarre string of events began on the chilly night of April 25, 1973, when a youn [..] > read more

Hodag

Published on 2012-04-15 19:53:00

The Hodag is a monster native to and exclusively sighted in Northern Wisconsin, specifically in the city of Rhinelander, where they have the most financial investment in perpetuating the folklore of the strange, fearsome beast. The first Hodag was not only spotted, but actually captured by a local posse spurred on by notorious flim flam man Eugene Shepard. The monster was photographed that day in 1893.But as any hoaxster who has created a religion out of whole cloth can tell you, sometimes peopl [..] > read more

Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews (Hard Rock Zombies)

Published on 2012-04-15 16:22:00

I had a bar I ran a few years ago. A real dump. The cooler caught on fire one night. The cooler. We often worked behind the bar under an inch or more of water. I'll spare you the details. This was a dive bar. But one thing you can do when you have your own bar is show zombie movies. Which we did. It was sort of like getting to do something you had dreamed about for a long time. It wasn't sort of like that at all, it was that. The first couple of weeks it was just a handful of us zombie nuts watc [..] > read more

Top Ten Zombie Movies That Aren't Zombie Movies At All

Published on 2012-04-15 02:59:00

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Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews: The Night Strangler

Published on 2012-04-14 20:27:00

Imagine this scenario, classic horror fans: the novelist who wrote The Last Man On Earth teams up with the producer who created Dark Shadows for a series of television movies involving a pain- in-the- ass, hard-nosed newspaper reporter who covers crimes involving the supernatural. No need to use your imagination, this really happened. The movie The Night Stalker aired on ABC television on January 11, 1972, and featured reporter Carl Kolchak. In this first movie, written by Matheson, and produced [..] > read more

Tiny Drawing Poem (Yellow Disk, White Disk)

Published on 2012-04-13 23:27:00

This Tiny Drawing Poem, "Yellow Disk, White Disk," is our lucky thirteenth Tiny Drawing Poem here on Friday the Thirteenth. It's actually a double Tiny Drawing Poem because the poem itself is longer than the usually write so it required two of Jenny's Tiny Drawings. The font is Papyrus, a font I've wanted to use before but here it just seemed to fit. > read more

Shadmock

Published on 2012-04-13 15:25:00

Actor > read more

Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews (Night Train To Terror)

Published on 2012-04-09 22:24:00

Let me tell you something about the 1985 load of shit anthology story movie Night Train To Terror: if more load of shit hundred million dollar budget movies had as much good shit in them as this piece of shit I'd watch those pieces of shit, because by load of shit I only mean AWESOME when describing Night Train To Terror. I don't even know if I can get all this good shit into a review this short. Let me try. The wrap-around premise of this steamer is that God and Satan are on a train haggling ov [..] > read more

Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews (Drive In Massacre)

Published on 2012-04-09 21:19:00

Drive In Massacre is a 1977 film that gets 2.5 stars on > read more

The Six Million Dollar Man Meets the Republican Congress

Published on 2012-04-07 15:28:00

The Six Million Dollar Man. Loved it as a kid. Recently had the uncontrollable urge to You Tube the beginning sequence of the show to see if it is as cool as I remember, and...It's even betterWith the cancelling of the space shuttle program I started to wonder what might happen if astronaut Steve Austin crashed in 2012. I think it might go a little bit like this...The Six Million Dollar Man Meets the Republican CongressTiny Drawings > read more

Tiny Drawing Poem (Beaten)

Published on 2012-04-06 22:50:00

When I was homeless in 2008 I rode the bus a lot. It was a nice place to write. And it was heated. I wrote most of the children's book of poems Atrocities From A to Z on the RMTD bus. This is a poem I wrote about the terminal. The font is Penn Station. > read more

The Worst Milkman In the World by Jesus Correa

Published on 2012-04-03 18:58:00

My life is rich and replete with amusement and leisure. And great characters. Talented characters. Like my friend Jesus Correa. Sometimes an artist's creative output surpasses any attempt one could make to explain the who, what, why, so I won't even try to do that. Here are two webcomics Jesus has graciously allowed me to publish here. Later this year my own Zombie Logic Press will be publishing his first book. I could tell you it's going to be like nothing you've ever seen before but everyone i [..] > read more

Tiny Drawing Poem (Avocation)

Published on 2012-04-01 22:39:00

The Objectivist poet W.C. Williams had as his credo "No ideas but in things." This came flooding back to me this April 1st. I've been having the compulsion lately to abandon lyric and narrative poetry and write Imagist, Objectivist, and haiku poetry. What a turnabout for a writer who has been no fiercely dedicated to telling his own story in his own words for so long. Poems without me in them? It would have seemed ridiculous to me even a few years ago. April reminded me of this poem and Jenny br [..] > read more

Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews (Zombie Lake)

Published on 2012-04-01 02:06:00

The best thing about the movie Zombie Lake is that it is directed by one of the greatest zombie directors of all time, Jean Rollin, under pseudonym J.A. Lazer. If you have not seen Rollin's classic zombie movies The Living Dead Girl > read more

Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews (Scream and Scream Again)

Published on 2012-03-31 20:47:00

I recently re-watched the 1970 classic of convolution, incredulity, and exhilerating car chases titled > read more

Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews (Death Ship)

Published on 2012-03-31 15:35:00

The movie, Death Ship (1980) is another installment in the late 70's, early 80's craze of aquatic zombie movies which includes far better movies like Shock Waves and Zombie Lake.This is a quad poster. These are what movie posters look like in Britain and for collectors you can get some really nice variations and rare posters if you search for quads.Anyway, Death Ship is terrible. The kind of terrible I actually enjoy. You probably won't, but to each his own. Here's what happens. George Kennedy g [..] > read more

When The World Is Running Down...

Published on 2012-03-30 03:28:00

You know you're in some deep shit when the people of the Quad Cities start > read more

Two New Books By Thomas L. Vaultonburg

Published on 2012-03-29 16:31:00

I don't sell cars. If I did I'd never eat. I don't really sell poetry, either. Never have. I do publish poetry, however, which presents a small dilemma, namely what to do with boxes of books once they arrive from the printer. I give a few away to my friends, family, and fellow artists. I went so far recently as to get a few copies of each of my books out and put them on a bookshelf. It's nice to see a row of books you've written all lined up like that. I recommend it to all writers. Sometimes I [..] > read more

Bribes In America Webcomic By David Pedersen

Published on 2012-03-26 16:44:00

As the legality of President Obama's national health care act is debated in the Supreme Court, this webcomic arrives in the mail from my good friend David Pedersen. > read more

Baron von Raschke Meets the Soup Nazi

Published on 2012-03-26 15:35:00

I would like a bowl of soup, please.There is no soup here for you, Baron von RaschkeOne bowl of soup, please.No!Lead singer of Devo Mark Mothersbaugh requests one bowl of soup, please.Professional wrestler and former school teacher, Baron von Rascke, your thinly-veiled canard designed to obtain a bowl of soup has not deceived me. You shall obtain no soup. > read more

The Ubermenscher and Trayvon Martin

Published on 2012-03-25 21:47:00

My favorite episode of The X Files is titled "Ubermenscher." In the episode, the Ubermenscher, a demonic entity called a tulpa in Tibet, was summoned from the Earth by Gene Gogolak to enforce his reign of terror on The Falls at Arcadia. Arcadia, in Greek mythology is the home of the god Pan, and an unspoiled, harmonious plane. In the episode, Arcadia is a harmonious, gated community where everyone is scrupulously careful to obey the rules and becomes very, very upset when any rule of decorum is [..] > read more

Tiny Drawing Poem (Dolphins)

Published on 2012-03-24 16:28:00

When I was a child in school I never listened. I knew it wasn't the right thing to do, and eventually they just stopped trying to instruct me and gave me a pile of books to read. Even then i sensed there wasn't much reason getting knowledge second or third hand, filtered through the voice of someone who may or may not even understand it. Given math equations, I ignored whatever rules they attempted to teach me and simply proceeded using my own trial and error methods. Which, given time, were eve [..] > read more

Tiny Drawing Poem (Reception)

Published on 2012-03-23 14:29:00

In the summer of 2005 I'd just come off of eight straight years in the service industry. I was tired, I hurt everywhere, and my writing had turned bitter and cynical, like me. Too much time watching people misbehave and fade away. All the poems for what would become my book Flesh Wounds were finished, and I just wanted to try something new. So, I took that summer off, sat on the porch, went to the park, down by the river, and just wrote poems with minimal to no apparent meaning. These were the f [..] > read more

When Did Obama Go Wrong and Why Is Eastwood Right?

Published on 2012-03-22 20:25:00

I'm just recalling Obama's first thirty days in office. He demanded Guantanamo Bay trials end immediately and the base be closed within one year, he signed a bill requiring equal pay for women, outlined a new energy policy, restored funding to women's health centers, outlined his plan to remove all troops from Iraq, and reached out for peace in the Middle East. And I started thinking the America that had become so frightened of bogeymen that it allowed Congress and the President to strip away it [..] > read more

Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews (Dead People)

Published on 2012-03-22 15:52:00

Dead People is a low budget 1973 horror movie written and directed by William Huyck and shot in various locations in California. Some very attractive women and quality actors were in the production, including Michael Greer and Marianna Hill. A very good, unusual movie with a magnificent eerie feeling to it. several really great scenes, including > read more

Dr. Strangedog Speaks Out Against State Rape

Published on 2012-03-19 18:33:00

While Republican Presidential candidate Rick Santorum was in my hometown, Rockford, today, I thought it was appropriate to revisit Illinois House Bill 4085, which was passed by an overwhelming majority last month in the Agriculture and Conservation Committee. No, that's not a misprint, The Agriculture and Conservation Committee. Not surprising considering how a lot of leading Conservatives seem to think of women as property or livestock. The storm of protest that resulted from similar measures b [..] > read more

Mitt Romney In Rockford

Published on 2012-03-18 19:17:00

Both Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum came to my town today. Rockford, Illinois. I know they did because I saw the motorcaid whiz past my window on its way to a very safe location on the outskirts of town. I doubt either of the candidates got much of a look at Downtown Rockford, where I live. It has beautiful aspects and a lot of great people trying to make positive change, but it also has plenty of decay, blight, and legions of homeless, unemployed, and discouraged people hoping for change. But wi [..] > read more

March Madness Gets Even Madder

Published on 2012-03-17 22:48:00

March Madness gets even madder when it is revealed that Indiana coach Tom Crean is a...Shadmock!!!!I think it's best Vinnie the P explains what a Shadmock is.Now that you know what it is a Shadmock is and what they do it is my obligation as to inform you that Indiana basketball coach Tom Crean is...A Shadmock!!!No, coach, don't whistle. I'll play help-side defense, I swear.Tom, this is uncle Lichtem calling up from the old country. I just put a million on IU to beat Kentucky in the third round. [..] > read more

Night of the Living Republicans

Published on 2012-03-13 21:55:00

Tonight's primary results in Mississippi and Alabama prove one thing: being left for dead isn't an impediment to being competitive in the Republican primaries. This is by far the strangest primary season I have seen. Follow Zombie Logic Press full coverage of the Republican primaries and a recap of the madness hereThe Unbelievably Strange Saga of the Republican Primaries While you're here, check out an issue of our webcomics Single Zombie Female and Dr. Strangedog > read more

The CDC Is Preparing For a Zombie Apocalypse

Published on 2012-03-13 15:26:00

The comedian George Carlin famously quipped "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." It's funny, then it's scary as hell. You look to your left, and you look to your right in traffic and realize at least one of those people, and probably both, has never read Shakespeare, planted a seed, voted, or listened to Bach. And that person is a high school English teacher. Stupid isn't as funny as it used to be because the amount of people who offset t [..] > read more

Thomas L. Vaultonburg For Winnebago County Coroner 2012

Published on 2012-03-11 22:31:00

I am here to announce that I am a candidate for Winnebago County Coroner 2012. As America's first Zombie (Z) Party candidate, I have run for Winnebago County Coroner twice, in 2004, and 2008, but fully expect to win in 2012. Please meet my cabinet of highly qualified Coroner's Assisstants...I feel my qualifications for dealing with the dead speak for themselves. I am a star of zombie movies, founder of the world's first and longest running Zombie Press, and I wrote the first zombie poem ever, Th [..] > read more

Zombie Logic Webcomics Presents: Celery

Published on 2012-03-10 21:27:00

Celery creator Jenny Mathews of Tiny Drawings tells me I should forget that Celery is a Celery and just consider him an average guy. That's fine, I think to myself, but whenever I see this average guy I start thinking about Onion Dip. Ladies and gentlemen, Celery. More Zombie Logic Press Webcomics > read more

Outsiders, Outlaws, and Then There's Me

Published on 2012-03-09 15:54:00

I've decided to call myself an Outlaw Poet this week. Last week I was a zombie poet. Next week I'm considering being an Outsider poet. I'm not really any of those things or aligned with any of those movements in any significant way, but I just feel like I need some movement to help me define my work and who I am. The Outsider movement seems good because if I decide it's not for me I can leave and still be in the movement. The Outlaw movement is slightly more problematic, because as Bob Dylan wro [..] > read more

Dr. Strangedog, Phil Knight, and Joe Paterno

Published on 2012-03-08 17:07:00

"If there is a villain in this tragedy, it lies in that investigation and not in Joe Paterno." The Nike founder went on to say in his eulogy that the death of the pedophile defending Joe Paterno left him without a hero. You're a very bad man, Phil Knight. If there is a villain in this tragedy, it begins with a man who raped children, then extends to all of those who knew about it, and enabled him for a very, very long time, chiefly, your hero, Joe Paterno. But that villainy extends to those who [..] > read more

Paging Dr. Stangedog

Published on 2012-03-08 12:50:00

This is Dr. Stangedog Number 1. I have only one problem: I don't know what Dr. Strangedog does. He's a surgeon. In a world.... (sorry) I think he gets paged a lot while he's in the midst of mundane activities or simply pondering one of the eternal philosophical questions. Ladies and gentleman, Dr. Stangedog.While you're here look at a few other Zombie Logic Press Webcomics > read more

Homeless Man Perfects Invisibility

Published on 2012-03-07 22:40:00

The first nice day of every year I like to repost this blog. Homeless Man Perfects Invisibility Today was one of the most beautiful days I've ever seen. Sun everywhere, a light breeze cooling off the 75 degree temperature. Magnificent. It's hard to imagine a better day anywhere. I even met a man who invented a cloaking device today. I wanted to call the military because I know this technology is something they've been trying to perfect for a long time. But this man had it. Let me tell [..] > read more

Whiskey Spills, Bad Lovers, and Celebrity Deaths Come In Threes

Published on 2012-03-07 12:01:00

Hide Gary Busey, hide. Whiskey Spills, Bad Lovers, and Celebrity Deaths Come In Threes"You know Johnny fuckedFarrah Fawcett when sheWas still on Charlies' Angels,"Says celebrity sidekick EdMcMahon from behind a ScotchToo cheap for an ex MarineTo a second rate bartender/actorPaying too little attention."And he always said that MichaelJackson was a fucking child molester,"Says McMahon, pretending not to noticeThe celebrtity tabloid showFlickering in the corner.As late night sidekick Ed McMahon'sSh [..] > read more

Single Zombie Female (Date Ate)

Published on 2012-03-06 13:09:00

Single Zombie Female is the co-creation of poet Thomas L. Vaultonburg and Houston artist Jenny Mathews of Tiny Drawings In light of ignorant statements by Rush Limbaugh we'll go ahead and let this episode speak for itself.Single Zombie Female on Transvaginal UltrasoundsSingle Zombie Female gets hungry at Speed DatingJenny and I encourage you to share SZF with acknowledgement. > read more

Ten Nursery Rhymes and Their Secret Origins

Published on 2012-03-05 13:56:00

Nursery rhymes are an invaluable resource for children’s book authors. And a great source of forgotten history. I learned most of my American history from Johnny Horton. While many nursery rhymes are innocent stories, some contain morals and others have sinister or political underlying meanings. This list looks at ten popular nursery rhymes and their origins (or speculated origins).10Humpty DumptyHumpty Dumpty was first printed in 1810. At the time, a humpty dumpty was a clumsy person, so the [..] > read more

The Zombie, Mutant Banana

Published on 2012-03-03 14:42:00

One night in 2010 Jenny and I were listening to Coast to Coast, as we normally do, and chatting on the computer. Around one a.m. she tells me she's about to eat a banana. No big deal, right? Well, a minute later I ask her how the banana is, and she replies with an explitive I can't share with you. Being one a.m. I think the worst: burglar, fire, meteor strike. But no, she explains, it's the banana. There's something horribly wrong with the banana. The inside of the banana is red. Red like p [..] > read more

Home (Tiny Drawing Poem)

Published on 2012-03-02 18:42:00

This Tiny Drawing Poem is titled "Home." The font is 256 Bytes, an unusual choice, but one that fit. I love doing this series because Jenny is such a great artist Tiny Drawings. We work hard on these and sure do appreciate it when we get feedback from people or someone likes it enough to share our work. The font is a little hard to read, and readers should keep in mind Tiny Drawings are, well, tiny, so you'll have to click the image to read it. Please look at our other works in the Tiny Drawing [..] > read more

Analysis of the Opening Sequence of the Screenplay for Romero's Dawn of the Dead

Published on 2012-03-01 14:29:00

I feel compelled to blog today even though I don't feel like it because WITHOUT THOSE RESCUE STATIONS ON SCREEN EVERY MINUTE PEOPLE WON'T WATCH US. THEY'LL TUNE OUT.George Romero is not only a pioneer of the zombie film genre, he's also a great example of a DIY artist. Exhibit A is the opening sequence from his classic horror movie, Dawn of the Dead. I want you to read this short snippet of the screenplay, then for you who have never written a screenplay understand if you gave this script to 9 [..] > read more

Single Zombie Female On Transvaginal Ultrasounds

Published on 2012-02-29 15:57:00

Texas has just passed a bill and the Virginia, Pennsylvania, and other states' legislatures are considering bills that would require women who are opting for an abortion to first go through a procedure called Transvaginal Ultrasound. No problem, right, just apply some jelly and use a microphone thingy to listen in. Wrong? A transvaginal ultrasound requires a woman to be penetrated by a ten inch wand.Medical professionals do not consider this a necessary or useful diagnostic test, it's merely ano [..] > read more

Why Doesn't Anybody Want To Vote For a Republican Candidate?

Published on 2012-02-28 15:40:00

Nobody seems to want to vote for any Republican candidate these days. And I'm not going to be political in this blog, I just want to do a history of the Republican party's search for a Presidential candidate to challenge Barack Obama in 2012, because as the Grateful Dead once sang, "What a long strange trip it's been." One thing is assured: SOMEONE will run as a Republican against Barack Obama in 2012, but given the amount of bizarre, almost surreal twists and turns the nominating process has ta [..] > read more

The 2012 Zombie Academy Awards

Published on 2012-02-26 15:41:00

The Academy Awards will be handed out tonight. A pet peeve of mine probably not worth mentioning is when people call them The Oscars. That's the name of the trophy, not the award. I haven't seen any of the movie nominated tonight, and I won't be paying attention, but I will be handing out some awards of my own. Welcome to the First Annual Brainies, the award show for zombie movies. I'm going to cheat because I don't watch new zombies and make the Brainies a lifetime achievement award spanning th [..] > read more

Zombielogics Zombie Haikus You Can Use (To Poop On)

Published on 2012-02-25 22:34:00

Zombie HaikuWith your Uptown brainsin my Downtown brawn, babywe're unstoppableThat was a rather short blogpost, so as my special offer to you, click on the picture of Bub the Zombie and he will salute you as many times as you feel you deserve. An earlier version of this haiku appeared in Rock Heals 94 > read more

Russell Edson: One Of My Poetic Influences

Published on 2012-02-25 13:19:00

Even if you are an avid reader of poetry you probably haven't heard of one of my absolute favorite poets, Russell Edson. Not because he isn't highly respected or anthologized, but because he's a self-described hermit who's poetry is at times bizarre, surreal, and solipsistic to the point of bewilderment. But in that bewilderment there is a beauty and strangeness no one else I know of has ever attained in this way. This is a world where not too much is unique anymore, so those things that ca [..] > read more

Ryan Braun Cheated. Then He Lied About Cheating.

Published on 2012-02-24 12:28:00

Recently I was trying to explain to an eight year old what Hamlet meant when he said "The Lady doth protest too much." Listening to Milwaukee Brewers' Ryan Braun go on and on about how he was erroneously accused of using performance enhancing drugs by Major League Baseball and how he is a paragon of truth, virtue and steadfastness victimized by a process that was out to get him is the absolute embodyment of what I was trying to explain to the child. He goes on and on and on about how he didn't d [..] > read more

Single Zombie Female (Speed Dating)

Published on 2012-02-23 22:30:00

Single Zombie Female is the world's first and only feminist zombie webcomic. Written by Thomas L. Vaultonburg and illustrated by Jenny Mathews, Single Zombie Female follows the adventures of SZF as she searches for brains, love, and the perfect pair of skinny jeans in a post-Apocalyptic world full of zombies and construction workers. This episode is titled Speed Dating. Zombie Logic Press gratefully acknowledges that this episode of Single Zombie Female was featured on the Coast to Coast website [..] > read more

Ron Jeremy's Cock (Poopsicle)

Published on 2012-02-23 20:20:00

This is not Ron Jeremy's cock. It is a painting previously titled Tim Russert's Thrombosis, an infinitely more interesting and amusing title, but after several thousand people came to the blog last month when I changed the title of a painting to Oprah Winfrey's Pussy, I've decided not to fight City Hall anymore. There you go, freaks, Ron Jeremy's rock-hard, throbbing, purple cock. Be sure to check out Dolly Parton's Tits (previously Vic Tayback's Toejam) and The Turd That Killed Elvis (actu [..] > read more

Ode To Schlitz, The Beer Can House, and the Ultimate Pointlessness of Me Being Earnest

Published on 2012-02-23 16:46:00

I like beer. I was commanded by Tom T Hall from an early age to do soTurns out to be one order I have no problem following. But there was one guy in Houston, Texas, who REALLY liked beer. He liked it so much he decided to side his house with beer cans Now, when I heard a man spent twenty years building a house out of empty beer cans I thought they were taking about my dad, but this cat was serious. So, when I got to Houston, I knew I had to investigate. This is me confirming that this m [..] > read more

Every Night Is Comedy Night In Rockford, Illinois (Poem Photo)

Published on 2012-02-20 12:27:00

When you live in Forbes' ninth most dangerous city you either learn to adapt to the limitations of the place you live in, or you become bitter and cynical about everything. Fortunately, the Chamber of Commerce here in Rockford, Illinois, while not very good at attracting business to the Downtown area, turns out to be quite good at comedy. My favorite kind of comedy: the kind derived from others' absolute obliviousness to the context of language and the fact that words have meanings. This banner, [..] > read more

The Mayans Were Chumps Compared To Clee When It Comes To Prophecy (A Poem Photo)

Published on 2012-02-19 09:30:00

I rarely take photographs. I'm not good at it and I tend to to see the world in terms of language. The written word is my logos. However, a couple of summers ago I had a brief spell where I was incredibly in tune with the way images and language were used together, and I began to notice several examples of ways in which images and language were combined in ways that produced unintended reactions. At least in my mind. So, I did what I always do when I need a good picture taken: I contacted m [..] > read more

My Bookshelf of Happiness

Published on 2012-02-18 09:00:00

This Tuesday my fourth book arrived at my doorstep. Which surprised me more than anything because I live in a security building and it's been like pulling a jackal's teeth trying to get anything delivered these past three years. But I opened my apartment door Tuesday and saw two boxes sitting there. 104 copies of my fourth book, Submerged Structure. Probably the most satisfying aspect of uncrating the books, aside from the relief of bringing the creative process to a final fruit, was pu [..] > read more

Wislawa Szymborska Is Gone

Published on 2012-02-13 21:04:00

Nobel Prize winning poet Wislawa Szymborska died on February 1st. I deactivated my social networking accounts and I have no television or real concern for current events, so I have no idea if this warranted as much as a mention in most media outlets. Pop star and habitual drug abuser Whitney Houston died this weekend, and you'd have thought the world had come to an end. I didn't need Facebook or a television to hear the outcry of wailing and devastation. You'd have thought Jesus had re [..] > read more

Two Free Valentine's Day Cards For Slackers and Superheroes

Published on 2012-02-12 19:44:00

Are you late in getting your love something for Valentine's Day? Not sure what to get for him/her? Maybe you just want to keep it low key and inexpensive this year. Not to worry, Zombie Logic Press has just what you need. Free. Jenny at Tiny Drawings came up with this neato superhero-themed Valentine's Day card that is appropriate for children, adults, and everyone else. She said you can use it if you want. I also came up with a little something for Valentine's Day. I don't write very many [..] > read more

Adele and the Sounds of Hell

Published on 2012-02-12 04:08:00

Tonight someone named Adele will win a boatload of Grammy Awards. Patsy Cline, Diana Ross and Bob Marley never won one. The Beach Boys, The Doors, Led Zepplin, and The Who never won one. But tonight someone named Adele will win a whole bunch of them. The poet Dante describes a Hell where all manner of horrific torture is heaped upon sinners. The guilty are plunged into molten lava, devoured by beasts only to be devoured again, their skin is stripped from their bodies, they are impaled, c [..] > read more

Whitney Houston: Celebrity Death and the Scapegoat Culture

Published on 2012-02-12 01:15:00

Whitney Houston died yesterday. Forensic expert Michael Baden is already making the rounds to raise the question of whether or not there is a doctor somewhere to blame for this "tragedy." You can hear the lynch mob starting to assemble and see them start to gather their farm utensils and pull on the handkerchiefs to hide their faces. Someone must be to blame for Whitney Houston's death. The conviction of Michael Jackson's doctor Conrad Murray to the maximum sentence of four years in prison for [..] > read more

The Lonely Man (Incredible Hulk Theme)

Published on 2012-02-11 21:16:00

The Lonely Man reflects upon the past year of his life in this poem written by Thomas L. Vaultonburg, and illustrated by Jenny Mathews, set to the Incredible Hulk television theme written by composer Joe Harnesh. > read more

Zombielogic's Incredibly Brief Movie Reviews: The Devil Times Five(Peopletoys)

Published on 2012-02-10 18:26:00

Leif Garrett was made for dancing. And cross dressing, if his performance in the 1974 low budget classic The Devil Times Five (Peopletoys) is to be believed. He also likes to lose at chess then hack Boss Hogg to death with an axe. Leif Garrett probably went to prison, and when you watch this movie you'll undertstand why.Here's a few reasons why you'll probably like this movie: kids coming up with some pretty gruesome and imaginative ways to kill adults, a catfight between a blond and a brunette, [..] > read more

John Holmes' Last Cumshot

Published on 2012-02-10 17:07:00

I enjoyed that movie Wonderland, the semi-accurate depiction of the last days of adult movie star John Holmes. For the most part I just enjoy seeing Val Kilmer in movies. He claims to be a descendant of Joyce Kilmer, who wrote the famous tree poem. John Holmes had a helluva tree branch he used to swing around, too. They use a Gordon Lightfoot in the movie to good success, also. I have a book of poems written by Gordon Lightfoot. This painting, from the infamous Poopsicle series, depicts what is [..] > read more

My Six Favorite Love Poems For Valentine's Day

Published on 2012-02-07 19:00:00

For almost thirty years now I have written poetry. Poems about everything from robots to chicken wings. But not many love poems. No particular reason comes to mind immediately. Just not something I have done much of. However, looking through my 25 years of published work I think I may be able to find just enough poems to make a list for Valentine's Day. In chronological order.Love PoemMy fingers carefully avoidStrychnine and Plath's poems,Instead contemplating a yearIn Provence picking grapesOn [..] > read more

The Time Traveling Penis, Episode 2

Published on 2012-02-03 19:15:00

The long-awaited second episode of the Peabody Award winning web series, The Time Traveling Penis. Where will the Penis be inserted on the space/time continuum this time? Which historical figures will he save from unbelievably bone-headed decisions? Will he be thwarted by The Asshole again? It's unlikely anyone knows the answers to these questions, but at least one question will be answered in Episode 2. And that question is "Who is Spartacus, really?' > read more

In An Early Audition Jenna Jameson...

Published on 2012-02-03 14:09:00

For a painter such as myself, accuracy is important. Fortunately, Google obliges my obsession for accuracy by allowing me to search for the most filthy things the human mind can imagine. Including Jenna Jameson. I'll let the viewer finish the title of this painting. You want a Poop a Sicle, I paint-a you a Poop a Sicle. > read more

Haiku

Published on 2011-06-21 20:01:00

Working in the haiku form is sobering. For reasons beyond the august tradition of the form. There's an implicit challenge to saying something in 17 syllables. HaikuWinter, my love, doesSlowing the bear's mighty heartMake you > read more

Poem Photos

Published on 2011-06-02 20:01:00

There were Greek philosophers who surmised the world was made from mud, or fire, or a combination of elements, or even numbers or some underlying logos. These were all attempts to condense the totality of human experience into a c > read more

Things I Like 2: Tiny Drawings

Published on 2011-06-01 19:35:00

I like the Tiny Drawings of Houston artist Jenny Mathews. I was shocked when I saw them in real life that anyone could get that much detail in such a small drawing. Drawings of everything from wine bottles to Cloud Giants to stately mansions. Each on > read more

Zombie Logic Solves Oldest Problem In the World

Published on 2011-05-30 17:34:00

Short and sweet on this one because I don't have time to trifle with you people. I have solved the problem of the Holy Land. And Yahoo News helped me. Here's the link to the story that led to my solving of the world's oldest problem. Read it, don't r > read more

Is That For Real

Published on 2011-05-29 20:21:00

I thought about it quite extensively today. Since I intend to only write once a day, what was it I thought was worth writing about. Attention whores getting arrested for dancing at the Jefferson Memorial? Meh. No, nothing really seemed all that fired > read more

How I Let Facebook Nearly Ruin My Writing

Published on 2011-05-28 21:10:00

By the time I was 18 I had written 1200 poems. One day I took all those poems and threw them off a bridge and watched them float down the river. I think that was probably the day I became a writer. I think it's important for me to throw Facebook into > read more

Seven of the Ten Poems Thomas L Vaultonburg Promised To Write On May 27, 20111

Published on 2011-05-28 02:39:00

A Poem I Also Title "The Donner Party"After an Evening of Reading RichardBrautigan's Poetry "What's for dinner?" "You." "No, I meant what'sFor breakfast." Avocation since you neverhad timeto beholdthis particulardownspout I went aheadand did it > read more

Oprah Winfrey's Pussy

Published on 2011-04-29 23:49:00

I am now a painter as well as a poet, actor, and America's First and Only Zombie(Z) Party candidate. I painted Oprah Winfrey's Pussy. It took a lot of paint. Want to see Oprah's Pussy? I didn't, but I am the only person on Earth who has. And it looke > read more

The Gifted Program

Published on 2011-04-24 00:15:00

The Gifted Program at ByronElementary SchoolWas two isolated makehift cubiclesShoved into one cornerUnder a map of Antarctica where meAnd Michael Robinson Studied humanityAntarctica is the place where Special people go, Ms. Stieglitz saidWe spent th > read more

Swishbucklers

Published on 2011-04-24 00:11:00

Swishbuckler is the World's First and Only Gay Pirate Dating Site. > read more

Time Traveling Penis, Episode 1

Published on 2011-04-03 23:33:00

I wanted to write a blog, but I don't seem to have the energy for that. It's not that there's nothing going on, it's that EVERYTHING seems to be going on. And not just for me, for everyone. Fortunately I have a very extensive backlog of content to fa > read more

Papers

Published on 2010-05-14 18:41:00

> read more

Death Will Become You, and Me, Too

Published on 2010-02-15 20:38:00

It has come to my attention that the delicate, and oh so conscientious, sensibilities of millions of Americans were offended this week when they were "forced" to watch the gruesome death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili during the opening cerem > read more

I Haiti Your Guts

Published on 2010-02-04 17:10:00

There is no God. We all know this. We all know about my infamous blogs denouncing the Catholic Church. We all know at best I dislike Christianity.So, why am I about to defend a cabal of evil Christians who were trying to steal a bunch of Haitian chil > read more

Tigress

Published on 2010-01-31 16:51:00

Haiku when a wise man meetsTigress in the jungle, hesays, thank you, my love > read more

JD Salinger, An Asshole, Has Died. So What?

Published on 2010-01-29 18:41:00

So, JD Salinger is dead.I guess my initial response to that was, so what?But my more considered and enduring response is something like, maybe that's not such a bad thing. He'll stay dead, and he can't die again or any more than he did, but in terms > read more

Thomas L. Vaultonburg

Published on 2010-01-26 21:07:00

Thomas L. Vaultonburg says tsk tsk to those of you out there who are stealing his intellectual property. I created Zombie Logic, Zombielogic and Zombie Logic Press over two decades ago and I don't appreciate having my work stolen. Do the right thing > read more

First Annual Spooktacular Poetry Blog

Published on 2009-10-29 17:55:00

VampyreWho's vein will my fetid fangFlay this night and let flowThe scarlet scroll that feedsMy perfidious thirst?What trick in my troveOr treat of the fleshWill she trade forThat hearbeat briefFlight into fancyAnd aeon's FallInto damnation?Zombiewit > read more

Ed McMahon

Published on 2009-10-12 21:57:00

Whiskey Spills, Bad Lovers, and Celebrity Deaths Come In Threes"You know Johnny fuckedFarrah Fawcett when sheWas still on Charlies' Angels,"Says celebrity sidekick EdMcMahon from behind a ScotchToo cheap for an ex MarineTo a second rate bartender/act > read more

Zombie Bill Collectors Ltd.

Published on 2009-09-25 19:10:00

> read more

Sofa King # 2 by Tim Stotz

Published on 2009-09-18 01:06:00

(Click to view full size) > read more

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