Blog Feed: Where Have all the Hobos Gone?

Feeling like I fell down a rabbit hole.......or that I should click my heels together to wake from this dream.One mile. ONE mile north. ONE mile NORTH of me. That is how far my family and I were from the trajectory of the F-4 tornado that wreaked havoc on Friday, March 2nd, 2012.Needless to say the last week has been hectic and full of emotions. My high school is 3/4 of the way demolished. My hometown is 1/2 way in ruins. Many of my friends and family were affected and will be affected for [..] > read more

Veggie Basil Pizza

Published on 2012-02-26 17:17:00

Tonight is my Super Bowl. That's right, the Oscars. And just like the Super Bowl I always make the same food. For the Super Bowl I make Party Meatballs; for the Oscars I make Veggie Pizza. The Super Bowl is all about the guys and fattening food. The Oscars are all about the ladies and healthier food.I would love to tell you that everything that goes into this pizza is homemade, but I cannot lie and tell you that and I'll confess right now that I bought a store bought pizza crust and pizza sa [..] > read more

Stinky Piggies

Published on 2012-02-22 07:47:00

I'm practicing better techniques for computer drawing. Step one: "How to draw a realistic metal tube". The drawing above took me two hours, TWO HOURS! For that little drawing! Doing things well takes time and patience. I have a little time and zero patience. I'll stick to my crude less realistic interpretations. Like: A STINKY PIGGY IN A TRUCK! That black plume of smoke was the beginning of a stink cloud coming from the little piggy. Eventually, I planned to insert other pictures in the [..] > read more

Strapless Backless Gown vs Gingham Handkerchief Tops

Published on 2012-02-11 21:58:00

Haters gonna hate. No matter. A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo child.I know the show Toddlers & Tiaras is as wrong as can be, but I swear the little pageant girl, Alana, is my new hero. Forget about ingesting speedballs when you can just have Go Go juice! I can not run to the grocery store fast enough to pick up my mountain dew and red bull. If it is good enough for a six year old beauty queen, then damn it, it is all kinds of good enough for me. I want to have Go Go Juice parties. I w [..] > read more

The Difference Between a Man and Woman - Foreign Accents

Published on 2012-02-04 20:18:00

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Home Havens

Published on 2012-01-28 15:49:00

When we moved into our home we gained more storage including a cute storage closet located under our finished basement stairs. I thought about what to use it for - for months. I didn't want to clutter it up with junk because it seemed to be a waste to do that. The closet itself is actually quite roomy and cute. The walls are painted a calming tan color and the carpet extends from the finished living area in the basement into this closet.I nabbed the under stairs closet as my own. Nothing wa [..] > read more

Farts & Crafts - Turtle Cupcake

Published on 2012-01-15 18:33:00

Two for one post Sunday. Behold....I got all food crafty! It is a cereal turtle lounging on chocolate cupcake ground. Cookie was a last minute addition. Not sure what it is supposed to be. You'll need:Cookie Crisp Cereal Cocoa Crispies CerealFroot Loops CerealChocolate Cupcake(icing optional, but I highly recommend)Chocolate Chip Cookie(optional, but I highly recommend) To assemble:Put down a chocolate chip cookie as your base. Take a chocolate cupcake and cut off top. You can put on some [..] > read more

I Just Start Drawing - River vs Sea Boxing Match

Published on 2012-01-15 15:53:00

Here is another stream of consciousness drawing type thing where I start drawing and see where it leads me. All my stream of consciousness drawing posts turn out really, really, really weird. I'm not surprised. This one I call:River vs Sea Boxing MatchThere is A LOT going on hereClick on picture to view a larger version of this pictureYour thoughts?(Note - There are no wrong questions, there are no wrong answers, there are no wrong criticisms) > read more

Crap that Irritates Me - Letter Case Usage

Published on 2012-01-13 10:59:00

Weird crap irritates me, yet I am not bothered by things that irritate other people. Grammar, for example. people who type in lower casePEOPLE WHO TYPE IN ALL CAPSI know those typing etiquette examples irritate most people but neither really bother me. The first is accepted in casual online/email conversation. As long as the person always capitalizes the letter "I" and keeps in apostrophes for contractions then all is good; otherwise that shit is irritating. Also, people who use "loose" for [..] > read more

Hobo Style: Nautical Print, Plaid & Wicker

Published on 2012-01-01 20:58:00

The Hobo Style outfit below was inspired from a picture of me when I was younger. The title of the picture I call "Little Hobo Girl Pretends to Run Away".All items are listed below the Polyvore collage. I left off the wicker purse because it is a Hermes and Hobos can't afford Hermes handbags (lots o' h's). I had a handbag that was better, but Polyvore doesn't allow Etsy clips. Assholes. I went ahead and posted that separately below all the other items.Hobo Style - Sailor Vagabond by hobogir [..] > read more

Old Lanes Sign

Published on 2011-12-31 22:34:00

Hab a ((hiccup)) furry habby dew ear!! ((hiccup)) > read more

Santa Should Use Gift Bags

Published on 2011-12-24 18:11:00

Christmas is upon us! My oldest has been wise to the whole "Santa fib thing" for a few years; my youngest is still on the fence. In place of being totally over the whole Santa is magical thing - he has instead employed and perfectly crafted his ninja skills in figuring out all the presents he will receive.The first order of business with him is to feel up all the gifts to figure out what is in each box:I could remedy this by not putting some of their gifts under the tree until Christmas morning [..] > read more

What I Did Today...

Published on 2011-12-23 20:26:00

....this being the day my mother birthed me. 9am I woke up. Yay, success!I checked my Facebook to see how many Happy Birthday's wall messages I had received while I slept. I inventoried who I had yet to hear from and took note. (not really, but I know people who do that). I got trampled on by my youngest son in my bed because he wanted to give me his gift as soon as I woke up. He hands me the bag with a pink robe. A mom gift indeed. Yet, I love it. It's soft and wonderful and pink! My son [..] > read more

There are Ticks in Them Thar Cornstalks

Published on 2011-07-05 22:21:00

When I was younger I had no problems with insects, spiders or any other bug-like creatures. In fact, there were days I would roam around outside and pick these things up and play with them. At what point, though, I became scared and disgu > read more

To Sir with Love, with Crepes

Published on 2011-07-02 19:59:00

The last few days have been an emotional roller coaster. My dear husband had a mini-stroke on Tuesday of this week. Actually, medically, it is known as Temporary Ischemic Attack (TIA) or better nicknamed, "warning stroke".He is only for > read more

Someone stop the ride, I want off!

Published on 2011-06-25 20:03:00

I was in my basement storage closet earlier today looking through some things. While looking I found a little plastic doll. A doll I have never seen before in my entire life. I have no clue where this doll came from and why I have n > read more

Sephora and Margarita Mix

Published on 2011-06-21 07:14:00

I know the post title is misleading, but I fear if I put the words "credit card" or "debt" in my post title and label tags that I will get spammed like a mother fucker. (I just had a visual image after typing that, you don't even want to know). > read more

Hot Pink Furry Chairs with Faces

Published on 2011-06-20 20:07:00

This is for you people who continually ask me to post more Hobo Girl baby pictures. So here you go ho(bo)bags.... You know what I love? I love sleeping. It's my best friend. Does anyone else my age remember those little fu > read more

Ten Dangerous Things I Did As A Child And Somehow Survived

Published on 2011-06-18 14:32:00

My oldest son is thirteen years old, and for this blog, I'll nickname him Prince William. We allow PW to stay at home with his little brother, Baby Burns, for short periods of time. But the other day when I was working, my husband had to > read more

My Weekly Webbies - Pockets of Evil Edition

Published on 2011-06-12 14:19:00

This is my second weekly webbies post. I don't know why I make commitments in the form of blog titles with weekly promises. This second weekly webbie comes to you a week and two days later than the last. I can't even guarantee that > read more

The Continuous Argument over our Land Line Telephone

Published on 2011-06-09 21:23:00

My husband and I have an ongoing disagreement over our land line telephone. I want it gone. He does not. Before we moved to this new house last year I had managed to get rid of our home phone. It was bliss, BLISS!! If so > read more

A Tale of Two Dogs

Published on 2011-06-04 18:57:00

Dog #1 Daddy Cooks Steeler Looks Steeler loves watching my husband cook on the grill. Looking through the glass door at his owner, it is as if he is watching a television program taped exclusively for him.Anyway, the > read more

My Weekly Webbies - June 3rd, 2011

Published on 2011-06-03 11:25:00

My tweets smell like paranoia, as always (for Tweettards read from the bottom up).Best of....My Facebook Updates of the Week.Comments I have pooped on other pooples posts:Over at THE HOT MESS CHRONICLES Planning a group camping trip.I say.. Over > read more

Dueling Choices - Public Drunkenness

Published on 2011-05-31 07:22:00

There are two ways to do public drunkenness. Classy vs Shitfaced. I choose classy. Always. Unless there is tequila involved. In that case, shitfaced is my only option. I have no other choice.Left: Classy Drunk &nb > read more

Anatomy of a Diet- Part 2 - The Fatty Tissue

Published on 2011-05-30 21:10:00

I have already told you about my diet on the post, Anatomy of a Diet - Part 1 - The Skeleton. I began my diet on September 8th, 2010 and have lost 40 pounds since I began the diet. All the while I would keep my friends updated through Fac > read more

The Tooth Fairy Moved to Boca Raton

Published on 2011-05-24 18:46:00

My youngest son, Baby Burns, lost a tooth last night. The fact he still gets excited about losing teeth astounds me. Especially since "The Tooth Fairy" keeps forgetting to give him money and take his tooth from under his pillow. She > read more

Fun with Photoshop - Baby Burns

Published on 2011-05-22 21:37:00

I have two sons. My oldest is thirteen and my youngest is ten. My oldest son looks more like his father. My youngest son favors me. HOWEVER....When my youngest son was born he was three weeks too early. I say too e > read more

Ten things I say to my kids

Published on 2011-05-21 08:34:00

1. When they have the hiccups: "Hold your breath!"2. When they get in a sneezing fit:"Blow your nose!"3. When they spill food on their lap when eating""Damn it Boys! Hells Bells, how many times have I told you about this?!" "My darling boys, > read more

Hot Yoga

Published on 2011-05-20 18:07:00

Bikram Yoga classes run exactly 90 minutes and consist of a set series of 26 postures and 2 breathing exercises. Bikram Yoga is ideally practiced in a room heated to 105°F (≈ 40.6°C) with a humidity of 40%, causing it to be categorized as a fo > read more

Anatomy of a Diet Part 1 - The Skeleton

Published on 2011-05-15 18:50:00

The following is a first in a series of posts where I outline my diet. In six months, I have lost 40 pounds. I have gone down 4 pant sizes. My body feels better and my blood pressure is the best it has been in years.(DISCLAIMER - RE > read more

We Love You Miss Hannigan!

Published on 2011-05-08 11:26:00

Happy Mother's Day to all you Freaking Awesome as Ostriches Mommies!!! (I am not a fan of multiple exclamation points normally but in this case I'll make an exception).In honor of Mother's Day, I am going to pay tribute to my favorite comedienne, Car > read more

Pickle Me, Fido*

Published on 2011-04-22 10:09:00

I LOVE PICKLES! When I was little I would drink pickle juice for fun (probably while reading my Sweet Pickles book collection). I also would eat raw hot dogs when I was little. Sooooo gross, right? I have long since stopped eating raw > read more

Buttons, Bananas & Jennifer Beals

Published on 2011-04-15 08:43:00

(Disclaimer: Do not read the following story if you have problems dealing with other people's embarrassing situations).So there is this guy at work who comes to my office every day and talks to me. We are kind of friends, but not. A few years ago h > read more

A Tree Frog Conversation

Published on 2011-04-02 12:29:00

I overheard the following conversation while I was on vacation at Sea World last week. Clearly, the tree frogs at Sea World are catty and have body image issues. Ribbit. > read more

Ms. Katherine Haggle, Reporting for Duty

Published on 2011-03-13 12:13:00

Renting a car is fucking stressful and expensive. The baseline price + taxes + fees = giving up my kidney on the black market.Never in my life have I ever used a travel haggle website so I was a little nervous over the uncertainty. I want to have a > read more

NOOOOOO! Terlet Stools

Published on 2011-03-12 20:13:00

Stop the insanity. Avant Garde? Modern. To each their own. But NOT in white. If I wanted people to see me sit on a toilet I'd open up my bathroom for tours. Picture SourceI blame American Idol...always.Picture Source > read more

Speedtastic Gill Girl of the Galapagos

Published on 2011-03-06 12:39:00

There are many reasons I dislike using the work restroom. One is when it is closed down for cleaning and the other is when someone has just done the "number two". Since I've been losing weight, I have dramatically increased my consumpti > read more

Florence Nightgown

Published on 2011-03-01 21:39:00

When I was a little girl I was an only child and only had a few friends who lived in my neighborhood. So as you can imagine there were many times that I had to keep myself entertained. We had a television but my grandmother (who lived wit > read more

Artsy Fartsy Practice - Eye Sketch

Published on 2011-02-21 15:10:00

I have been meaning to get back in the mindset of sketching and learning how to do it over again (not that I was ever excellent to begin with). I bought some sketching pencils, erasers and sketch paper today. I googled a how to art site. I sketche > read more

Random Thoughts - Germs & Tom Waits

Published on 2011-02-20 17:33:00

I don't know what it is about my weekday morning commute to work, but my mind is an active playground of random thoughts. All thoughts lead into another and take a complete u-turn only to be completely blindsided with another thought that comes > read more

Fun with Photoshop - Excited Constipation

Published on 2011-02-13 16:49:00

There is a new internet meme (sensation) going around that takes embarrassing or funny pictures of celebrities and photoshops that picture of them into another funny picture. You may have seen them:Prancing CeraStrutting LeoI'm no celebrity, bu > read more

Camouflage Sabotage

Published on 2011-02-05 20:29:00

Picture Source cam·ou·flage (km-fläzh, -fläj) NOUN:Fabric or a garment dyed in splotches of green, brown, tan, and black so as to make the wearer indistinguishable from the surrounding environment.ETYMOLOGY:French, from camoufler, to disg > read more

Personalized Coffee Mugs

Published on 2011-01-30 13:26:00

32 pounds lost.There are so many things at my home that I had when I was larger sized that I don't mind still keeping them around.My big jeansI like putting them on and seeing how far I've come. The dip in my couch cushion I know my weight > read more

Fun with Photoshop: Ghouls and goblins and girls in slutty costumes...OH MY!

Published on 2010-10-25 13:59:00

When I was a young girl I dressed up as Holly Hobby and Alice in Wonderland and Strawberry Shortcake. I suppose it is a rite of passage for girls to grow up and still dress as those characters but with a slight deviation. That deviation b > read more

I have to get that mouse out of my house and out of my life!

Published on 2010-10-23 21:30:00

When you live out in the country you have to get used to all sorts of critters and creepy cooties. It's a price you pay, I suppose, for the peace and solitude that you gain. I, however, do not deal well with any animal that comes into my > read more

Is lung expulsion covered by health insurance?

Published on 2010-10-16 13:32:00

I have been trying to lose weight. I lost a pound this week!It all goes downhill from here.My family has been awesome and I told them I would pick up fast food dinner for them as a treat. What the heck was I thinking? I drove the half hour home > read more

Have the aliens abducted all of our hobos?

Published on 2010-10-12 17:52:00

This is my very first post! Here I am and, interestingly enough, I have bloggers block about what to post as my first entry. I figure the best place to start is an explanation of what I am doing here. No, not on this Earth. I know I am on this plane > read more

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