| Home | My Account | Directories |
The Time Is Nigh… (that means “near,” bozos)
Published on 2012-05-25 23:49:45
I have been plagued by an annoying thought for the past few months. My website simply loads too damned slow. Partly it’s my fault – I have burdened this bitch down with tons of scripts, images, and customization. I’ve tried various solutions to decrease load time like eliminating extraneous functionality, moving my server to a [...] > read more
Stairs Never Get Easier
Published on 2012-05-24 23:54:54
When I got my place nearly seven years ago, I opted for the top floor in our building. The floor plans are essentially the same in each unit, but the fourth floor (the top) has the highest ceilings. I think they’re 13′ feet or something. Whatever – I thought it was cool. One of the [...] > read more
I’m Speaking At AimingLow’s Non-Conference
Published on 2012-05-24 00:31:03
Today I am proud to announce that at AimingLow’s very first conference (awesomely titled, Non-Conference), I will be part of the group that speaks to attendees. If you’re a blogger, this is a must. Last year I went to BlogWorld LA – loved it. Not only did I get to hear from some of the [...] > read more
Why High Schoolers Should Drink
Published on 2012-05-23 00:23:56
Just last night I found an old file with letters, poetry, and other nonsense I had forgotten about from long ago. As a 35 year old, some of these writings date back to 1995, a year after I graduated high school. You may or may not find this amusing, but I discovered a piece I [...] > read more
I Love Yanking Off Dewclaws!
Published on 2012-05-21 23:50:15
In the past I’ve written about how awesome it is to find white hairs on my girlfriend’s head and plucking them. I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it. While Jessica is visiting I try to carve three minutes each day to search her extremely thick and luxurious [...] > read more
Larry The Cable Guy Follows Me
Published on 2012-05-20 23:50:17
I was in the bathroom using my phone as an escape from time with my own thoughts, and I had a thought. Do any famous people follow me? There are only two types of famous people that follow you on Twitter. Famous people that follow everyone that follows them (which is rare), and famous people [...] > read more
Dump Your Friends!
Published on 2012-05-19 23:32:21
Took the dog to the beach today. Got sunburned. There are some people in your life that you need to disengage and bolt. Recently a woman that I went on a few dates with a year ago asked me to help her find an apartment. Since I have dozens of leasing agents that work at [...] > read more
How To Go From a Six to an Eight in Hotness
Published on 2012-05-19 00:11:58
I’m about to change your life. Now, that’s a pretty bold claim. You are right to doubt. Many charlatans will separate you and your money with such proclamations! I want nothing other than your attention. Well, actually, down the road I will want your money when I write a book, or come out with a [...] > read more
Okay, So Now I Do This When I Sleep
Published on 2012-05-17 21:28:55
My girlfriend Jessica drove all the way from Atlanta to Chicago yesterday. She brought her cat and dog, who also is a chihuahua. Just in case you’re new to the site, I also have a chihuahua. If you don’t know the story of how I met Jessica through this site, you can read that story [...] > read more
New AimingLow Post Live
Published on 2012-05-16 21:31:32
An oldie, but a goodie… and a redux to boot! This is the true and sexy story when I saw one of my high school crushes totally naked many years after we graduated. And she hugged me. And I fell in love again. AimingLow decided it was worth publishing. I rewrote and tightened up the [...] > read more
Someone Is Out To Get Me!!!
Published on 2012-05-15 22:01:11
Yesterday I talked about how sick I was. I still am. I bike to work each day, and it’s really nice along the lake in Chicago. And normally I’m loving it. It’s not an easy ride, though. I have my dog strapped to my back, and I have a pannier with my work clothes (suit [...] > read more
The Paris Sleep Chronicles
Published on 2012-05-15 00:14:40
I’m crazy sick. This is the first time in over two years that I have a cold. As such, I’ve been jacked up on anything that ends in the word “ephedrine” for two days straight. I thought this morning, “Well, since I’m nearly hallucinating from this cold, it would probably be healthy to bicycle to [...] > read more
Isn’t Every Day Mother’s Day?
Published on 2012-05-13 20:23:25
…is something I would never say, write, or even think! Cursed is the man who utters such a phrase! Run out of town on a rail he should be! Okay, obviously I was kidding – I’m sure you were ready to punch me through your computer screen right into my sack. The truth is that [...] > read more
The Worst Post of the Year
Published on 2012-05-12 23:27:23
As many of you know I have written a post every day this year. I’ve also bragged in interviews that I haven’t published a poor one yet. Each one, while not perfect was at least a 7/10. You may disagree. F you and your silly hat. However, this is the first time I’ve had a [...] > read more
Best Advertising Request EVER
Published on 2012-05-11 22:15:02
Several months ago I started an advertising section on the site to help pay bills. Thankfully I now have a good group of sponsors. Their stuff is on the right over there. Check it out! By the way if you have a blog or product or service to promote, go ahead and click the advertising [...] > read more
Putting Off Packing
Published on 2012-05-10 23:43:38
Tomorrow I leave for Peoria to spend with the weekend with my parents. Mother’s Day and all. While I was catching up on some stuff tonight, I realized I hadn’t packed. This isn’t a big trip – just three hours by car. I have to put some food and water out for the cat, put [...] > read more
I’ve Been Appointed!
Published on 2012-05-09 17:36:52
Doesn’t that sound a lot more official than, “Some chicks gave me a position with their website?” No? Sort of deceptive? Yeah, I hear you. Some chicks gave me a position with their website! AimingLow is a fantastic humor website (seriously), which is collection of funny writers doing what they do best. Effacing themselves through [...] > read more
I Can’t Wait to Ride You!
Published on 2012-05-08 23:26:26
Yes. I’m talking about you. (I address my bicycle as “you”.) I know. That was dumb. And made you feel uncomfortable for a moment. Especially if you’re a dude. Well, I guess maybe not all dudes would have felt uncomfortable. Certain ones. But, this is a post about riding a bike. And, goddammit, there’s just [...] > read more
I Have One Of Those Headache Things
Published on 2012-05-07 22:31:44
I probably get four headaches a year. I think the weather has something to do with it, and maybe it’s a rain humidity thing. Who knows. Note – I ended that with a period, not a question mark, as I don’t really care for the answer. Bottom line is that I currently have a headache. [...] > read more
I Need Your Input!
Published on 2012-05-06 13:45:40
I’ve been working to develop something very unique and exciting (at least to me – maybe only me) for this blog. This is something that has been discussed for over six months, and I’m getting ready to start production. There’s still a chance it might not happen, but I’m confident that we can get it [...] > read more
Thank You and Robbery Update!
Published on 2012-05-05 22:06:11
Walking Alone (But Not Really)
Published on 2012-05-05 00:28:16
I woke up to write this to you. I’d much rather still be asleep dreaming of stewardesses sitting atop my lap. That shows you how dated my references are. There hasn’t been a young and attractive stewardess on a commercial flight since 1983. No, I woke up out of guilt. Fear, really. Back in January I [...] > read more
My Favorite Reader of All Time
Published on 2012-05-03 23:57:49
I tweeted this out hours ago, and I’m sorry about the repeat. But this is still making me laugh. And I mean out loud. Right now. The other day I wrote about my biggest fan – she had read every one of my words within eight hours. While I admire her devotion and I love [...] > read more
I Literally Got Robbed
Published on 2012-05-03 01:55:47
On Tuesday my mom informed me that she was going to spend the next night at my condo. I was treating her to The Iceman Cometh here in Chicago and since the play is five hours long, she wasn’t going to drive home afterwards. Because I didn’t want my mom to see how I really [...] > read more
My Relationship With Denise
Published on 2012-05-01 20:23:49
I see a therapist once a week. And while nobody would describe me as “nuts” (Well, maybe a few people would. Like Steve. But Steve’s the one who’s nuts. You hear me Steve? You’re nuts!! Nuts!!!), I still have a number of issues. Everyone who knows me would most likely agree. I mean, I write [...] > read more
My First SuperFan!
Published on 2012-04-30 17:48:12
My girlfriend will tell you she’s my #1 fan. My friends say the same. The parents brag about how funny I am. They’re most likely being more nice than anything. And they’re not my true biggest fans. Well, at least not anymore. I’ve always been secretly jealous of women who have stalkers. And every woman [...] > read more
My UK Radio Interview Is Live!
Published on 2012-04-29 23:05:22
My new pal Jodie Orton from SirenFM put the interview she did with me on YouTube. You probably missed it live (as I did), so here’s your chance to check it out. I found out that she did make a few edits to the segment, and I wanted to share with you the exact conversation we [...] > read more
Donate To Anti-Cruelty!
Published on 2012-04-28 19:20:23
10,000 Tweeps
Published on 2012-04-27 22:57:42
Back when I went to BlogWorld I wasn’t sold on using Twitter to find new readers. I really didn’t understand what Twitter was despite having used it for over two years. I had a smattering of followers and no idea how to get more. Ironic because I was attending the largest social media event of the [...] > read more
Explicit Text Message From a Desperate Man
Published on 2012-04-27 00:45:53
I imagine every woman has one of these stories. This morning, my girlfriend received a text message from a guy she went out with a few times over a year ago. They haven’t spoken since, and I don’t think he even lives in the same state. The message was something like, “I know I’m not [...] > read more
I’m Going to Walk For Some Damn Dogs!
Published on 2012-04-25 23:43:00
Every year I do exactly one charitable thing. On May 5th I’ll be walking (I think it’s two miles) with my dog, Lil’ Miss Meepers, and a few thousand other dogs and owners for Anti-Cruelty. It’s called Bark in the Park, and it goes to support the largest no-kill animal shelter in Illinois. Look, I don’t care [...] > read more
6 Days Since Cat Pee
Published on 2012-04-25 00:24:32
I’m introducing a new and SO INSANELY EXCITING feature on my blog that you might literally have a coronary reading the very next sentence. I have installed a timer to display the number of days, hours, and minutes since the last time my cat Pantaloons peed on the bed where I sleep. Right on this [...] > read more
This Post Isn’t Funny – Sorry, Yo
Published on 2012-04-23 23:27:19
A few months ago, to eat better and save a few dollars, I decided to bring my own lunch every day to work. I’ve been working professionally since I was twenty-one, and why I have failed to do this up until now, I have no idea. It’s something small that I do for myself every [...] > read more
Prozac in the Ears (and on my fingertips)
Published on 2012-04-22 20:24:46
The only thing worse about somebody that has cats is somebody who writes about cats. So, let’s get started. If you’re new to this blog, you might not be aware of the seemingly endless saga of my cat peeing outside her litter pan. This is particularly bothersome because I am a fantastic owner. My ex-wife [...] > read more
Interview With Yours Truly
Published on 2012-04-21 16:35:14
Angelica Dawson recently reached out to me to ask about my blog, my writing process, and a bunch of other stuff. If you want to learn even more about me than you already know click here to read the article. > read more
How I Got Out Of A Ticket
Published on 2012-04-20 23:58:20
Let’s face it – some cops are dicks. Not all, of course. But many of them are ex-jocks in high school who got bald and fat and still like to bully people. I personally have no issue with cops, as I don’t think I’ve actually spoken to one in years. I stay out of trouble, [...] > read more
So Apparently I’m Going Bald
Published on 2012-04-19 23:31:01
I was getting my hair cut today which I do every six weeks. I’ve been going to M Salon for three years. It’s really nice and they let me bring my dog. My hair stylist has become a friend. I tell her everything that’s going on in my life. She’s really good at cutting hair, [...] > read more
Something Bit My Leg!
Published on 2012-04-18 22:06:57
I’ve written before that I’ve never been bit by a mosquito. Or maybe I have but my skin isn’t allergic to the sting. Who knows? So, when people talk about itching or the red bump shit on their calves, I just stare at them blankly. I have no idea what that is, but it seems [...] > read more
I Ran Over My Groceries!
Published on 2012-04-17 07:50:03
Back on January 1st, I committed to writing one post a day for thirty days. This was a difficult task for that month, and it caused me to build a few muscles that I hadn’t before. Now it’s mid-April and I have the streak intact. I used to plan out my posts in the morning [...] > read more
Thank You!!!
Published on 2012-04-16 07:55:13
I really try to let my readers know how appreciative I am that they read, continue to read, and comment. I receive heartfelt emails from you and that makes my insides warm (so does diphtheria). Rachel Thompson and I would like to thank you for all the people that read our debut column, Rachel and Delfin [...] > read more
How to Blow a Radio Interview
Published on 2012-04-15 13:48:09
I just got off with Jodi Orton at American Dream Team, a radio program in the UK. We did about 25 minutes on my favorite topic – me. To check out their programming and listen live to the station, visit SirenFM here I don’t know about how the FCC works over, or if they even [...] > read more
I Scored A Turkey Breast!
Published on 2012-04-14 23:13:16
I have an AWESOME food tip for you. You know those rotisserie chickens you can get pre-cooked from the grocery store? I love those things and probably average one a week. I heat up a little brown rice and vegetables and combine it all in a bowl like pig feed. I know this sounds healthy, [...] > read more
I Wrote This On My Phone, Damnit!
Published on 2012-04-13 21:07:41
I just realized that I nearly forgot to post today. I’ve made it every day this year and would prefer not to kill the streak. It’s the only streak I haven’t broken – just ask my Portuguese Rosetta Stone program and gym membership. Oh, and I don’t clean the cat box every three days like [...] > read more
I Have Integrity!
Published on 2012-04-12 17:49:05
The other day an advertiser for a very popular video clip website (not THAT one) contacted me about putting a link to their site on my page. They were willing to spring for some decent cash and I was excited. First, I use their website. Second, I need the dough. So, I put it up [...] > read more
Know Anybody Famous?
Published on 2012-04-11 21:09:20
A few days ago I blogged about my magazine writing debut in uG Magazine (Urban Gentleman). Apparently the articles were well-received as I’ve been assigned a new feature for the next issue. They want me to interview and spotlight somebody well-known who is either a television personality, actor, or musician. We already have some connections [...] > read more
Let’s Make Fun of Canada!
Published on 2012-04-10 22:57:34
Going to keep this one short, because I need YOUR help. I pitched an idea to a Canadian publication completely joking around about how I’d like to write a piece for their readers (online they get about 20k a day) called “Why Americans Make Fun of Canadians.” I fully expected an “F-you!” back from them, [...] > read more
Central Florida Was Not That Bad
Published on 2012-04-09 22:00:35
There’s a great line in the movie, Easy A that speaks to the uniqueness of Florida. Due to his “condition,” Micah was sent on an extended visit to his grandparents’ in Palatka, Florida. And if there’s one thing worse than chlamydia, it’s Florida. If you haven’t seen the movie, please do. One of the funniest films [...] > read more
Urban Gentleman Magazine
Published on 2012-04-08 11:58:48
Yesterday I had three pieces go live in Urban Gentleman Magazine. You can read the magazine online below, or better yet, purchase it at your local newsstand. Special thanks to Editor-In-Chief Stacy Ellen who took a chance on me with absolutely no professional writing credits. I’m proud to be associated with her magazine. Open publication [...] > read more
Rachel and Delfin Argue (About You) – Emotionally Distant Men
Published on 2012-04-07 19:00:37
WHY EMOTIONAL DISTANT MEN AREN’T YOUR PROBLEM Rachel Thompson I got this, DJ. Step off. When I first met my guy, I was thoroughly baffled at how he could be so romantic and lovely when he was not working, and yet so distant and humorless when he was. Who was this guy? Was he bipoloar? [...] > read more
A Gift From My Partner, Rachel!
Published on 2012-04-07 09:52:40
If you’ve been following this blog, you know that my pal and author Rachel Thompson are rolling out a new feature. In fact, I’m putting the finishing touches on our debut now, and it will go live later today. To tide you over, Rachel has very generously agreed that, for today only, to provide her [...] > read more
Ready To Throw Up?
Published on 2012-04-06 23:19:56
A few days ago I talked about how depressing it is to catch myself naked in the bathroom mirror. Many of you reported similar feelings of shame. Here’s another knock to my vanity. Last night, while visiting my girlfriend in Atlanta, she decided to record me sleeping. Why? Because apparently I snore like a dick. [...] > read more
How To Bring A Stinky Sandwich On an Airplane
Published on 2012-04-05 22:02:21
If you’re Jewish, or secretly wish you were, (like me) you know that Passover is upon us. I don’t know much about their religion, but I know that the Jews have some pretty fantastic food. Ever eaten matzo ball soup? It’s the best thing ever. I’m totally shocked that I’ve never once seen it on [...] > read more
I’m Never In Anyone’s Dreams
Published on 2012-04-05 00:57:50
When I was in college, my senior capstone class was simply titled, “Dreaming.” We studied the nature of dreams and their history in psychology, spirituality, and philosophy. There were two parts to the class – one academic and one practical. The academic part was pouring through literature about dreams, such as the huge volumes Freud [...] > read more
If You Like The Way You Look In The Mirror…
Published on 2012-04-03 21:59:30
About once a week I catch a glimpse of myself as I exit the shower stall. One whole wall of my bathroom is mirror. I do my very best to avoid looking at my naked bodice. I know you do, too. I was thinking about the meaning of life the other day. Heady shit, no? [...] > read more
Announcing The TFP Newsletter!
Published on 2012-04-02 23:08:20
Okay, yesterday I was really excited because of my new column with bestie Rachel Thompson. It’s going to be the nuts. And I have another big annoucement, although I already spilled the beans in the post title. Yep, a ThoughtsFromParis newsletter! Now, before you run away, I’m with you. Newsletters suck. Oh yes, yes they [...] > read more
The BIG Reveal!! (at least to me it’s big)
Published on 2012-04-01 13:14:13
A few days back I wrote about a new feature I’m rolling out with an author pal of mine. She and I have very strong opinions on stuff. She’s usually wrong. (She will very much will not appreciate that last sentence.) This feature, foolish readers, is all about YOU. I’m tired of this thing being [...] > read more
Today Was Ruined By Pizza
Published on 2012-03-31 23:30:20
I have developed this amazingly healthy habit of bringing my lunch every day to work. It saves a few dollars and keeps me out of Subway which continues to get more and more depressing each time I head there. Plus, I actually feel GOOD about myself preparing a meal the night before. I wish in [...] > read more
The Best Thing About Being Me
Published on 2012-03-31 00:47:20
You know what I love more than just about anything? The freedom to pass out on Friday night at 9pm after four pizza slices and a Fresca. The just happened. I took a nap on the couch with my cat on my chest. I awoke with my dog on my chest which is strange as she [...] > read more
It Started With White Nose Hairs
Published on 2012-03-29 22:59:25
I have never picked my nose. Not once. I don’t dig and flick. But… I absolutely love yanking out nose hairs. I’ve been doing it since I was twenty-one. The first time I was just sitting around watching Jeopardy and I reached up to scratch that part of the face where mustaches grow (I know that place has [...] > read more
Welcome New Readers!
Published on 2012-03-29 00:48:11
In the past few weeks, traffic has really jumped and I wanted to say thanks. You’ve probably noticed comments have picked up and I’m glad you’re all talking. Also, if you’re new, back in January I committed to writing every day. After that ended, I decided to just keep going. I think today is around [...] > read more
I Got My First Hate Mail!
Published on 2012-03-27 21:19:12
So yesterday my cat made peepers on my comforter and I noticed while I was laying it in. And I nearly beat her silly. Today, on my way to work, someone posted this… First of all, the George Zimmerman reference – how topical! I applaud his ability to liken me to someone who shot and [...] > read more
I Nearly Punched My Cat Tonight
Published on 2012-03-26 23:11:05
I’m not proud of this. But thirty minutes ago, I nearly punched my cat. I definitely have anger issues. When something goes wrong in certain ways, I react with a fight-or-flight mentality. I remember once during Hell Week at my fraternity, after only fifty minutes of sleep the first night, some members came into the [...] > read more
Sleeping With The Weighted Vest – A Report
Published on 2012-03-25 23:36:56
Okay, yo, I finally got my lead vest/apron. How? A sweet woman named Ady donated to me an old one they were throwing out at their animal hospital. Turns out this vest was not for pets, but for humans. I will say, that it did not come in the greatest shape. A lot of strange [...] > read more
We Need YOUR Opinion On Something BIG!
Published on 2012-03-24 20:44:39
I’m happy to be announcing a new feature on this site that is all about you (for once). I’m teaming up an amazing partner for a column where we discuss YOUR challenges and provide our take on your situation. She’s a woman (unnecessary as I just said “she”) and we’ll be able to provide two different [...] > read more
I May Be Getting My Weighted Vest After All
Published on 2012-03-23 19:00:58
In the past month I’ve talked about how I might have SPD and how I explored the idea of buying one of those weighted lead vests that dentists put on you during an xray. Then I nearly purchased one, but some turd bought it before me. So I was just sitting here, like an asshole [...] > read more
I’m Playing Live Tonight In YOUR City! (if your city is Chicago)
Published on 2012-03-23 00:54:46
Tonight (Friday) the band I’m in, TheNumbers, are playing at El’s Kitchen in Lincoln Park. This is a unique show, as we are playing two one-hour sets. That’s a lot of us. As I know I have at least four Chicago readers, I would love to meet you all. For some reason I get a [...] > read more
Let’s Look At Some Goddamn Headshots!
Published on 2012-03-21 21:09:09
One thing I’ve learned as somebody who has tried to maintain honesty and integrity with a blog: Whenever I’m afraid to share something because I’m ashamed is exactly the time to do it. I’m mostly afraid to share hard truth. This was how I lived up until a few years ago – I was always [...] > read more
It Sucks Being Fair
Published on 2012-03-21 00:14:07
I was in San Francisco this past week with my girlfriend for a wedding. San Fran is one of the greatest cities in the country. It’s basically NYC, Chicago, and San Francisco in my opinion. And this opinion is right. There isn’t a better big city than those three (sorry Jacksonville). But the weather in [...] > read more
My Big Head Got A Headshot!
Published on 2012-03-20 00:44:22
I just came back from a headshot photoshoot. Why, you ask? Am I going to Hollywood? No. I am writing for a new magazine and they are nice enough to put me on their fancy “contributing editors” page. So, in typical D.J. fashion, I scheduled the shoot for the day I got back from a [...] > read more
My Race Car Driving Youth
Published on 2012-03-19 01:20:06
At the wedding I was at this weekend, the groom handed me an envelope which contained an important piece of my youth. This was my official race car driving license. I hadn’t seen it since 1993 when I lost it in a card game called Suicide Guts to the groom. I had forgotten about this [...] > read more
Vote For My Non-Baby Ginger!
Published on 2012-03-13 20:42:43
My good friend Megan works for a credit union that is throwing a big contest for “cutest baby” or something. Since every baby looks exactly the same to me, I didn’t pay close attention. However, apparently the people in the first few slots are cheating. Somehow they’re artificially getting votes, and apparently the system detected [...] > read more
First Two Magazine Articles Submitted!
Published on 2012-03-12 22:55:05
I’m excited to call myself not only a blogger, chronic funnymaker, semi-professional Filipino Slapfighter, and drinker of Fresca. Now I can add “contributing editor” to that list. Tonight I cranked out 1000 words for two articles for Urban Gentleman Magazine. I wrote about three spring activities that combine sports and social. No, I’m not doing [...] > read more
Some Guy Called Me A Dick!
Published on 2012-03-11 23:29:57
I don’t think I ever have been flipped the bird while driving. If so I have forgotten. It’s likely, just from a law of averages sort of thing. I was thinking about it today, and I also don’t think I’ve been in an accident since I was sixteen. Yesterday, I came pretty close. I was [...] > read more
Rejected Jokes For A Hindu Wedding
Published on 2012-03-10 23:29:55
I Wrote A Novel!
Published on 2012-03-09 22:23:09
No, not really. But I got your attention, right? What a sneaky dick! I was curious to see how many words I’ve written since I started this fakakta blog. Thankfully, as Apple puts it… There’s a piece of electronic computing software that is available to download and install that will perform a series of applicative tasks on [...] > read more
Shortest Story
Published on 2012-03-08 23:34:40
I just remembered this. My friend Peter was one year behind me in school. Actually, I had only heard about Peter from our mutual friend Justin. I was excited to meet Peter, as I had heard great things. The first day of my sophomore year was the first day of their freshman year. Pretty simple [...] > read more
Guess Who Took A Bath?
Published on 2012-03-07 23:54:42
D.J. did! D.J.’s dog did! I have previously spoke of my love for baths. Actually I hadn’t taken one in a month until tonight. I realized my dog had not been cleaned in over three months. Now, before you get grossed out, please realize that my dog spends a total of 10 minutes a day [...] > read more
AimingLow Published Another Gross D.J. Story
Published on 2012-03-07 21:56:06
One of my favorites and most awful… Click Here! > read more
Girlfriends and Wives, Pay Attention!
Published on 2012-03-06 23:16:06
My girlfriend Jessica flew up from Atlanta this past weekend. She was here two weeks ago, and I was excited that she was back so soon. Now, many women are fun to be around. Others are cool. Some can make you laugh. I’ve dated many that were smarter than me, which I found satisfying. Every girlfriend [...] > read more
Do This Now!
Published on 2012-03-05 23:42:24
I’m going to take a break from my daily thoughts and my stories about being a non-Catholic in a Catholic high school or the time I thought I was dying (but it turned out I had just eaten some beets). No, this post contains no jokes about genitalia, passing wind in elevators, or how I [...] > read more