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"The Cleanse Diet" or "How I Lived Without Bacon for Seven Days"
Published on 2011-03-28 22:21:00
Some of you may know that Mrs. MacT is a vegetarian. Technically she's an ovo-lacto vegetarian, which means she eats dairy and egg. By most standards, she's a vegetarian and has been since college. But I knew this when we met. It wasn't as if she surprised me three years into our marriage, suddenly switching sides in the middle of the game. I knew what I was getting into. Or so I thought. Since our nuptials it has been an implicit, mu
Charlie Sheen is in Fact- Winning
Published on 2011-03-09 20:44:00
Have you ever looked back at a particular moment in history and thought, "Boy did society get that wrong. What the hell were those people thinking? Slavery? The Inquisition? Parachute pants?" We've all been quick to point and snicker at the one ring circus that is Charlie Sheen's life. But I have a nagging feeling folks, that we're going to look back at this at some point and realize Charlie was right. It may not be tomorrow. It may not
Oprah's Frontal Assault on Omnivores
Published on 2011-02-22 00:14:00
My fourth least favorite person on the planet, Oprah Winfrey, recently launched another attack on my God given right to enjoy a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. I'm referring to, of course, Ms. Winfrey's 2011 Vegan Challenge. The challenge: no eating meat, fish, dairy, eggs or anything derived from the animal kingdom for seven days. The irony: She partook in this challenge while still wearing her leather shoes and perfume derived from whale fat a
A Battle for our Hearts, Minds and Stomachs
Published on 2011-01-30 23:58:00
There is a silent war raging in America. A war without weapons, but not without casualties. It’s tearing apart families and destroying relationships. Battles are taking place on college campuses, in homes, grocery stores, restaurants, on Match.com and Twitter. At stake in this conflict are our very souls, and our rightful position atop the food chain. I’m talking about the battle of herbivores versus omnivores. For those of us in the trenches, the battles intensify with each passing year. Re
Plushenko Discredits Saints Super Bowl Victory
Published on 2010-02-19 19:02:00
Yevgeny Plushenko, who recently criticized Evan Lysacek's Olympic gold medal performance has recently turned his sour grapes ire toward the Super Bowl Champion New Orlean Saints. Through an interpreter, Plushenko was quoted, "I was positive that the Colts should have won that Super Bowl. Maybe they felt the Saints needed it more and the Colts already had one. I don't know how you can consider yourself a world champion when you have a defense made of swiss cheese." Plushen
Hacked off at China: Google takes on the Red Dragon
Published on 2010-02-09 21:54:00
I realize this news isn't as mainstream as Heidi Montag getting 34 plastic surgeries last month at a drive-thru clinic in California, but I argue that it's slightly more important. Over the past decade, the Chinese have been perperating extremely sophisticated and coordinated cyber attacks on a variety of U.S. interests from goverment to large corporations. These attacks rarely make big news for a variety of reasons, but recently Google has decided to raise a red flag. Google has th
Johnny Carson Wants Jay Leno's and Conan O'Brien's Time Slots
Published on 2010-01-15 23:34:00
Zelda Von Hursting, a Hollywood clairvoyant has recently announced that Johnny Carson has been communicating from the grave, and boy is he pissed. The late host of the Tonight Show is apparently angry at NBC, Jay and Conan for making such a debacle of late night talk shows. Speaking through Ms. Von Hursting, Carson is quoted, "I spent my entire career building the brand 'The Tonight Show' and now the nutjobs at NBC are making it the laughing stock of late night television. Jesus H.
Michaela Salahi Attacks Pope
Published on 2009-12-25 17:33:00
Pope Benedict XVI was attacked during a Christmas Eve mass at St. Peter's Basilica by what authorities are calling "a disturbed woman". The woman apparently jumped a security barrier while the Pope was giving his Christmas sermon. The woman was wrestled to the ground, but only after posing for several photos with the pontiff before dragging him to the floor. The pontiff was uninjured, though he couldn't quite get his hat to sit straight afterwards. The
America's debt ceiling: Congress keeps raising the roof.
Published on 2009-12-15 23:08:00
$12,082,000,000,000 is America's current debt ceiling. Now I know what you're thinking. $12 trillion doesn't really sound like much when you consider the New York Yankees payroll, but our debt is quickly approaching our gross domestic product (GDP) of $14 trillion. GDP is essentially the entire economic output of a country- all goods and services made and sold. And if the mupits in Washington have their way, the debt seiling will be raised another $1.9 trillion.
AIG Executives Threaten To Quit Over Compensation: Americans Cheer
Published on 2009-12-07 21:45:00
So I’m surfing the Internet in search of solar-powered gopher repeller for my father’s Christmas present when I come across the following headline “Five AIG say may quit over pay”. Five senior executives from AIG threatened to quit if their pay is cut significantly by the U.S. pay czar. Here I am with a budget of $39.95, looking for an eco-friendly way to rid dad’s vegetable garden of varmints and these worthless, delusional bean smackers are concerned about gold plating their toile