Blog Feed: The Lavatory Reader

Michael Gove vs. Jonathan Swift: The Academy Question

Published on 2010-05-26 10:42:59

Michael Gove, the new Education Secretary, announced his plan today to invite all primary and secondary schools in England to become academies. The academy programme was launched under New Labour in 2000, overcoming serious opposition from the left w > read more

Floating Voters Elect the Lava- Tory Party

Published on 2010-05-05 09:04:30

The general election is tomorrow but an incredible 38% of us are still deciding for whom to vote. The economy is shattered and we’re fighting two unpopular wars but many people are more preoccupied with the expenses scandal, Bigotgate and the gener > read more

The Volcanic Ash Cloud: A Deliberate Icelandic Attack?

Published on 2010-04-21 08:49:34

The dust has begun to settle after the Eyjafjallajökull eruption in Iceland and recriminations are flying around instead – most notably from the airlines and the insurance industries. But before this descends into a tedious financial dispute, in w > read more

Jesus Had a Shit Easter

Published on 2010-03-31 10:11:14

At this time of year, the thoughts of both practicing Christians and salivating Chocoholics turn to Easter. Never mind the fact that the Catholic Church is buried up to its neck in filth, corruption, hypocrisy and vice, millions of people across the > read more

Gordon Brown at the Chilcot Inquiry: Wha Wants Me For a Bawbee?

Published on 2010-03-05 05:32:55

It is Gordon Brown’s turn today to face the Chilcot Inquiry. If the committee does its job properly, there should be nowhere for him to hide – except through obfuscation and denial. The fact that it is being broadcast live will only compound Brow > read more

Berlusconi, Napoleon's Bed and Nocturnal Farting

Published on 2010-02-26 14:55:42

Silvio Berlusconi has bought a bed that once belonged to Napoleon Bonaparte. This public act of narcissism is hardly surprising – Berlusconi has previous form, comparing himself to both Napoleon and Christ in 2006. Italy itself, of course, is div > read more

Cashmere Lavatory Paper - Luxury Is Nothing New

Published on 2010-02-17 05:50:36

Recent news that the British supermarket chain, Waitrose, is now stocking cashmere lavatory paper has got the world in a twitter. It should be pointed out, however, that no cashmere fibres are included in the paper, but that the paper is covered in a > read more

The Iraq Inquiry: The Peculiar Memories of Tony Blair

Published on 2010-01-29 09:36:03

Chilcot looked away, beating a pen against his teeth, and the next time Tony looked at him he was on his feet scanning the Inquiry for a victim. The question of at what stage Britain had promised America they would support military action against Ira > read more

Good Riddance to the Farting Cadburys

Published on 2010-01-25 10:17:31

Much lamenting across Britain with the news that Cadbury (who has been making and selling chocolate since 1824) is to be taken over by the American Kraft Foods, the second largest food and drinks company on the planet. All very sad, of course, and on > read more

Education and Sanitation

Published on 2010-01-18 08:27:20

The Conservatives have just unveiled their new education policy promising better teachers and a shiny future for our schools. However, in the past, it has not just been the education that has been in need of reform. The facilities themselves were in > read more