Blog Feed: Talk of the dog

And now... a Picture of My Owner!

Published on 2011-11-08 10:11:00

OK, so this isn't the big moron but its the closest picture I could find to his resemblance - even has the same table mannerisms! The real injustice here is that a fool who looks like this has been allowed to rule my life all these years! How would > read more

Squirrel Tales

Published on 2011-06-09 23:53:00

"I shink itsh maybe a shircush" the little abomination of a Shih Tzu stated balancing himself on top of my back while trying to get a better view through the knothole in the fence. What?! I can't smell any animals out there y > read more

Raise the Alarm... Intruder Alert!

Published on 2011-03-24 11:29:00

Once again I've caught that no-good, orange jumpsuit wearing, peeping tom looking over the wall of the compound! Every month around the same time this interloper comes to the back perimeter of our property and peers over the > read more

My Own March Madness...

Published on 2011-03-22 10:04:00

So it is spring here in Burbank, CA and true to form - it's been raining almost nonstop for the past week! This has resulted in a MAJOR increase in my doofus owner exposure and hope that stupidity is not contagious. Needless to say I'm completely dis > read more

Radiation Reaches California?

Published on 2011-03-19 05:37:00

"I don't want to wear the shuit, I don't want to wear the shuit, I DON"T WANT TO WEAR THE SHUIT!" the little abomination of a shih-tzu stomped as I placed the yellow fabric hood lined with aluminum foil over his head. "Listen to me - there is radiati > read more

St. Patrick's Day... O Joy!

Published on 2011-03-17 09:33:00

2011 Humor Bloggers St. Patrick's Day Humor Carnival - http://humorbloggers.com "Póg mo thóin!" Darby O'Houlihan barked as he walked down our street with his owner Shamus. "It's St. Patty's Day and I'll do whatever I damn well want!" he bellowed. > read more

Some Great Escape...

Published on 2011-03-14 12:25:00

"Keep digging you little twit!" I yelled at that little abomination of a Shih Tzu while pushing him forward. "You're smashing me.. and I'm tired!" "You don't have time to be tired!" I exclaimed wiping the dirt from my forhead, "Besides, don't you wan > read more

My Volunteer to Help Japan...

Published on 2011-03-13 16:24:00

Love the people of Japan - nice people, great culture, and absolute lovers of dogs! So when I heard about the recent tragic events, my mind started racing about how I, a ninety-something pound dog could help. Today it came to me! To the People of Jap > read more

I need a Vacation...

Published on 2011-03-11 00:53:00

"I'm sorry but I just can't understand what your saying" was the last words I heard before the click of the phone and subsequent humming of the mocking phone receiver. Shocked, dismayed, I sat for a few seconds - mouth agape - trying to collect my th > read more

Kicked out again!

Published on 2011-03-06 23:12:00

So the little human of the house was eating a meal from some Mc-something or other place tonight when he left the table to visit that closet the humans go every now and then to hide. I swear that closet smells a lot like the grassy area outside where > read more

Damn Roof Rats...

Published on 2010-07-19 12:45:00

So I'm outside last night enjoying the cool evening breeze when Pat the roof rat decides he's going to stroll down the power line from the kumquat tree onto our roof. As I watched - I felt the embers of madness well up inside me. The voice in my head > read more

Hot day in Burbank!!!

Published on 2010-07-14 18:32:00

Wow, it's scorching here in Burbank! I was out for a total of about a half hour today - mainly in the morning. On days like this, I refuse the moron as he asks if I want to go outside. Instead, I just look at him like the jerk he is until he gives up > read more

Hello Again.

Published on 2010-06-15 13:22:00

Sorry for my long absence - I've been attending to pet based real estate. There are an alarming amount of displaced family pets due to the recession so I've been helping these poor souls find and sell their homes. I guess their human owners are no lo > read more

I've got four years to train for the next winter Olympics...

Published on 2010-03-01 11:44:00

Inspired by what I had witnessed for weeks on the television, I began my golden journey. With cut 2 x 4 s slung across my back I climbed to the top of the compound's highest roof. The hot Southern California sun baking my corneas and warm choking smo > read more

Rain

Published on 2010-01-25 22:50:00

"Get your furry butt in here!" he screamed - shivering in the doorway trying unsuccessfully to keep dry. Defiant, I slowed my pace letting the glorious freedom shower caress me in its loving embrace. I strolled slower still, keeping my gaze upon his > read more

Feeling good...

Published on 2010-01-08 01:46:00

Got the world on a string here. Finally have the wind at my back so it's full steam ahead. I figure if I keep on my current path - I'll soon be one of those who wears bedsheets all day because they're too big to fit into regular clothes. Oh, happy da > read more

Put down the crack pipe and hear me out...

Published on 2010-01-02 11:15:00

OK, second day of January and some things are coming to light already. I'm guessing about 85% of you out there have already broken your New Years Resolution. It probably went something like this:12:00am New Years - in celebration you throw cigarettes > read more

Happy New Year!

Published on 2010-01-01 11:36:00

Oh thank God 2009 is over! What a crappy year for the shrinking middle class. And we here on the idiotville compound felt the effects as well. The big doofus spent most of the year unemployed and his wife received her lay off notice as a teacher. Tha > read more

Van... children

Published on 2009-12-31 01:15:00

Just heard that Van Morrison and his girlfriend had a child! Congratulations to him but isn't he like 64 years old right now? Not sure what these people are thinking because the last thing I want in my senior years is to have another baby running amo > read more

Get back to work already...

Published on 2009-12-30 00:18:00

Damn humans, they need to get back to what they do best... hanging around their workplaces pretending to work. This just isn't working out at all. I'm really getting tired of having to wait for my turn at the computer because my owner - Captain Fat F > read more