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How I Shafted Boot Camp
Published on 2010-08-07 15:04:00
Lemme tell you the tale of how I once shafted boot camp: So, I was already growing my hair long right after graduating from ROTC (yes, back in the day, military training was compulsory, kids). Lo and behold! I received a letter stating that I had to undergo additional military training at Camp Eldridge in my hometown of Los Bastos. I don't know exactly how they picked us poor bastards, but the
A Long-Ass Rant
Published on 2010-08-03 15:20:00
Here's the story. Last year, someone from Philippine Animation Magazine emailed the people behind Super Inggo at ang Super Tropa these questions. I dunno what happened to that magazine but about a week ago, a student asked me if I would be willing to do an interview for some class project. I remembered the Philippine Animation Magazine questions so I sent the student this: Please provide us a
The World According to Squid Part 9
Published on 2010-07-06 16:44:00
On Faith in Human Decency Today I saw these things on the Innurnet: a huge cock stuck in a human skull's eye socket, a picture of a rectal prolapse, and amputee porn. I'm going back to bed. On Comic Book Science In dramas, you won't notice people standing three feet behind you and overhearing you verbalize your darkest secrets. On Faith Because I cannot worship a god that I can't question.
Hiatus
Published on 2010-06-12 06:22:00
Hi, gaizzz. I'm going on an indefinite hiatus from the Interlulz. To those who were entertained by my nasty brand of buffoonery, thanks for the Comment and Like Dollars on Facebook. To those who were shocked and disgusted but kept returning anyway like freaking junkies, thanks for playing the game. I wish I could go on dishing out the psychotic rants. Yet life is short. I have to start living it
The Word According to Squid Part 8
Published on 2010-06-12 06:10:00
On ExhibitionismDear Squid: Why are you such an exhibitionist on the Internet? Love, Your Self-Esteem.On Self-ValidationSelf-validation via Internet buffoonery ain't working tonight. I want to lash out at something. Nope, there's no punchline here.On Internet Sex VideosThe more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that leaked Internet sex videos are the digital age's version of the pillory.On
The Word According to Squid Part 7
Published on 2010-06-04 17:51:00
Atheists and FoxholesThere are no atheists in foxholes. I'd call on whomever might be listening if mortar shells were falling on my head. It's when the bombs stop dropping that we spiritual mercenaries shed our cloaks of counterfeit faith and go back to living as if there will be no one to judge us at the end of our days.On AlcoholAlcohol. My long lost love. Why did I ever leave you?On
The Word According to Squid Part 6
Published on 2010-06-04 17:48:00
On BeliefsThis evening, I realized that I have no more black-and-white beliefs. Then again, my epiphanies always seem to come to me when I'm on the porcelain god so you can imagine the quality of said divine revelations.Cerebral IntermissionSomething savage, something primal, something slithering and carnal, something leering, something thirsting, something mad and everlasting, something clever,
Hi, I'm Squid Villanueva and I was Molested as a Child
Published on 2010-06-04 05:38:00
NOTE: This is an old post from my now-defunct Friendster blog that I'm reposting here (with some revisions) because someone on Facebook reminded me of it. I have to say that this story never fails to send at least one person out of a room in disgust whenever I tell it. Speaking of parties, I wonder why I don't get invited to a lot of them anymore...Let’s call the man Pedro. I remember that he had
Lord Jeremiah Faulkerson's Last Letter to His Mistress, Jessica Smee
Published on 2010-05-30 18:31:00
The following is Lord Jeremiah Faulkerson's last letter to his mistress, Jessica Smee:May 28, 1797My Dearest Jessica:Permit me this last act of foolishness, since I've nothing more to lose:I once thought I was wise, that I knew all there was to know about love.Its shape and color.The sound of its voice and the taste of its skin.The logic of its madness and the laws that govern its power.I once
Pity Fuck Blues
Published on 2010-05-18 16:55:00
I ain’t never left a woman but I have lost quite a few.I ain’t never left a woman but I have lost quite a few.This one said: I love you, baby, but right now I’m leaving you.I got the blues. Lord, I got the pity fuck blues.See, I thought we’ll be forever, but forever wouldn’t do.See, I thought we’ll be forever, but forever wouldn’t do.I ain’t sorry that I met you but I’m sad I made you blue.I got
Cruelty: A Cautionary Tale (Extremely NSFW)
Published on 2010-05-11 10:56:00
When I originally posted this as a series of photos on Facebook, I was disappointed that some people seemed to think it was porn. Hopefully, the added material in this video makes my statement clear.Also, please don't watch it if you're easily disturbed. Really.
Prey
Published on 2010-05-08 15:44:00
The summer night was warm.Humid.Cruel.It didn’t bring a blessing but a curse.It was the moist breath of a beast panting in the darkness.It brought demons.It brought horrible thoughts.It was a mother burying her child.It was a dead brother, his head crushed and shabbily put back together by bored morticians.It was the gaping maw of loss in the broken heart of an abandoned lover.It was the Golgotha
The Banner of the Squid
Published on 2010-05-08 12:17:00
On Monday, the Apocalypse will arrive. As the country plunges into anarchy and the dogs of chaos wash across the streets, know that the Banner of the Squid is your salvation. By steel and by blood and by our fists, we will carve ourselves a new nation; a nation of the mighty, a nation of the strong!Oh, and Happy Mothers' Day, Mommy.
Mystery! Danger! Horror! THE TALE OF THE NAKED KOREAN DUDE!
Published on 2010-05-06 10:18:00
I've always thought that if there is a place on earth that deserves a cataclysm of Biblical proportions, it’s Alabang in Muntinlupa City. In Alabang, everyone is a douchebag.Everyone.That kindly old lady who sells vegetables in the market puts a few twigs and pebbles in her plastic bags of mung beans. That tricycle driver who looks like your favorite uncle will charge you a kidney for a short
What is Love, Old Buddy?
Published on 2010-05-04 08:02:00
I met a pal some days ago and it had been quite some time since we swapped stories over cheap, foul-tasting coffee and cigarettes so off we went to the vending machine to get our poison. As the sun retreated beyond the horizon, sickened by the things it saw human beings did to each other, we sat on the curb and drank coffee and smoked cigarettes and talked.Some minutes later a girl with breasts
Dear God: I Think I Can Do A Far Better Job
Published on 2010-05-01 11:39:00
The Word According to Squid Part 5
Published on 2010-04-30 15:43:00
On Love and FurnitureLove isn't a piece of furniture that you can take from one house and carry into another.On the Human ConditionThe Human Condition in a nutshell: Waiting for scraps to fall off from God's magnificent table of omnipotence.Something BrokenFrom something broken, create something new.On Mr. RightIt's better to wait for Mr. Right than settle for Mr. Good Enough.On Love and
The Word According to Squid Part 4
Published on 2010-04-30 15:34:00
On FailureSome people deserve to fail.On DignityYou hear that? That's the sound of my dignity trying to climb back onto my shoulders.On WorkYou know what it says on the gates of the Nazi concentration camps? Arbeit Macht Frei (Work Makes You Free). Now let's go back to work, fellow slaves.On TreasuresNever forget: your only real treasure is dignity. You start selling that and you're truly
Thoughts of Rain: The Just and the Unjust
Published on 2010-04-30 15:26:00
Because the rains have started, let me quote the Gospel according to Matthew:"He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."Now some people think this means God lets his Word reach everyone, good or evil, so we may all use our free will to follow the path of the righteous or not.I beg to disagree.I think this means good things and bad
What Manner of FUCKERY is This?
Published on 2010-04-26 07:00:00
The World Isn't Fair
Published on 2010-04-09 00:50:00
Amor Vincit Omnia
Published on 2010-04-01 16:47:00
Forget what you've been taught about love. Love is not always kind. It doesn't always make you a better person. It's not always a blessing. Oftentimes, it leads to ruin, to despair, to murder. Love is a force of chaos: irrational, indefinable, inescapable, and unconquerable.Where it is most pure, it is most cruel.
The Word According to Squid Part 3
Published on 2010-03-30 04:38:00
On ProcreationThere's a growing possibility that we may not have kids. But at least we have each other. That gives me some comfort.On Pain and PleasureAt the height of a mind-scarring orgasm and in the depths of soul-breaking pain, we have the exact same expression on our faces.On Love and SexContrary to stereotype, there are men who can't have sex without falling in love.On Micro-BloggingPeople
Awesome Ascendant
Published on 2010-03-02 15:15:00
There are certain means of spinning yarns that have almost disappeared from my armory of storytelling weapons throughout the years that I’ve been writing for network television. It’s not just that these muscles have degenerated of their own accord for lack of use because TV demands other ways for a writer to make his alchemy. Truth be told, it seems to me the mainstream and certain powers that
The Word According to Squid Part 2
Published on 2010-02-28 09:45:00
On HatredRemember your hatred and one day you will be significant enough to either spit on their faces or piss on their graves.On WoundsNever ever let them see how much you really bleed.Damaged GoodsThe next time you feel dirty because of something you did or something that was done to you, think about this: we are all damaged goods, each and every single one of us crawling across this unhappy