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The Taco Syndrome
Published on 2010-06-15 19:52:00
Chapter TWOThe Taco Syndrome At thirty-six years old, I finally understand what my dad meant when he said to me at age sixteen. “You can drink now, but when you get older, trust me, you won’t be able to anymore. You’ll have horrible hangovers.” A part of me thinks he was being honest, as he isn’t the first to go out and get loaded. He’ll have a beer or two, but that’s it. And afterwards, he’ll top the evening off with a gallon of ice cream,
Fairy Tales
Published on 2010-06-11 16:30:00
Chapter FIVEFairy Tales I love it when I read to a room full of second graders and they are captivated. I’m Harry Potter, with my wand—and I’ve put a spell on them. Their expressions are priceless. Since I am merely a substitute, I don’t know the background on this particular story. But these children are quick to catch me up to speed.They tell me every characters name, purpose—shit, they even have the setting down. They are eating their sn
Everyone Deserves a Love Story
Published on 2010-01-07 16:27:00
Chapter SEVENEveryone Deserves a Love Story“You stay here!” Carrie said to me. She glanced over at the friend she was trying to hook me up with, then walked off, leaving me in a beer tent deep in a German festival we’d talked ourselves into attending.And there I was, standing in the middle of seven strangers.Carrie’s friend produced the hidden bottle of Jack Daniel’s. “Here, have another shot.”I held my cup out. Again. “I don’t know, this stuff tastes like shit!”He poured mor
My version of The Hangover
Published on 2009-12-02 11:02:00
Chapter FiveMy version of The Hangover“Let me see it,” I demand of the guy.He stares at me and my sister-in-law, Jenny, drops her head in embarrassment. I’m sure she didn’t think we’d end up here when we all decided to go out that evening, but what can I say—it all started with the hat.The first bar we ventured into was… hmmmmm, how to put this—a lower scale establishment. I haven’t been out with Jenny since I became single, but I’ve forewarned her on my, somewhat, crazy ways
The Book of Mormon
Published on 2009-11-20 23:10:00
Chapter FOURThe Book of MormonI think God—or Zeus, or Apollo, Jesus or Jehovah; shit I’ll even throw in the Volteri if it will make everyone feel better—is in a particular mood when they are piecing us together. Like say, myself. I believe whoever was in charge of me had a lot of coffee that day—causing me to come out jittery, high strung with OCD tendencies, and have unruly hair. Then there are days when the stars are aligned and everything is moving in perfect order, and those are the
It's Unisex.
Published on 2009-11-11 22:52:00
We are at a swanky hotel bar in Houston when I turn and look at my tall friend. She is talking with a great looking guy who has shown up with our guy friend we went to high school with. Next to him is an sexy guy with an incredible accent. And then, there's me.On the other side of the table is our guy friend and various other's my tall friend works with.So, as the scenario sits; it's around seven guys, me and my tall, stunning friend. The guy sitting next to my friend is thirty-five, never been
Fro-Pie
Published on 2009-11-11 20:20:00
Chapter oneFro-PieI was in the eighth grade when I finally began to accept my curse, unorthodox hair. I hadn’t yet realized I had a head full of aphrodisiac locks—probably because I spent a majority of my youth in dissent. I was constantly trying to mold my curls into the latest rage. Joan Jett, you better believe I tried that. Or spending countless hours laboring to feather it, yes—been there. There were often times when I wondered if my great-great-grandfather had an affair with a black
Welcome to being divorced
Published on 2009-10-23 16:45:00
"We are going to go to the party," my tall stunning friend says. "But only after we make a different stop first."I turn to her. "Well, where's the first stop?"Her ex-husband answers from the back seat. "Oh you'll see." He is giggling to himself.You read that correctly, I'm headed to a party in one of the more upscale neighborhoods in Houston with my tall gorgeous friend and her ex-husband. He is equally as adorable, hyper and funny. The two of them consistently hang out. They are the poster chil
That man doesn't exist.
Published on 2009-09-08 23:47:00
"I'm going to find that rich, beautiful, tall, funny guy this weekend—and then we'll fall madly in love." I say to my friend.She looks over to me as we cruise across the lake. "Good luck with that. That man doesn't exist."Such a pessimist.We pull up next to another boat and within an hour, we are in a line of around ten different boats. I am so ready to drink, chat and scan. As I am scanning, I see him. He is the boat next to us. I am captivated! I immediately turn to my friend to point h
The inevitable.
Published on 2009-08-28 13:10:00
I haven't accepted the inevitable—I am getting divorced. This is not something I am willing to recognize as I drive to Austin with my blonde friend, who looks like she just stepped off the cover of Fitness Magazine. We are on a mission. First stop, a meeting with fellow writers and afterwards, a night on the town. We have a lot in common, my friend and I. We got married and had our kids early. She is my quick-witted friend, and often—while we are out—we key off one another. Since