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Social Interaction - 4
Published on 2011-04-30 18:17:00
"On my first whistle, start writing. On my second whistle, stop writing.""Gotcha."*whistle*"I've written all I want to write""The second whistle hasn't sounded!""I know, but I've written all I will.""DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THE EXERCISE!?""Yes, but I--" > read more
Social Interaction - 3
Published on 2011-04-30 18:14:00
"I'm going to spoon-feed you some motor oil, and if you eat it all properly, that'll be the last of it.""I don't like motor oil though..""Oh okay. Have a bourbon instead.""Thanks mate." > read more
Social Interaction - 2
Published on 2011-04-30 18:13:00
"Are you even eating those?""No I'm quite full...""Oh okay, mind if I..?..""Yeah, I want to watch them.""B--but you're not going to eat them.. right?..""Correct.""Well then can I jus-""You may not.""Oh okay.""I was joking, you may eat them.""I&n > read more
Social Interaction - 1
Published on 2011-04-30 18:11:00
"There's rum everywhere, you fucking idiot!""Sorry, I.. I just turned an-""No! Don't make any excuses; you're an idiot. An absolute idiot.""Sorry."---------------"I got the last laugh. It wasn't even rum." > read more
Published on 2011-04-30 18:05:00
For my next act, my mind will cave in and there'll be a void filled with a distant echo, and then some laughter. > read more
Published on 2011-04-25 12:33:00
He doesn't speak very highly of anyone, really... But I kind of admire that trait.. > read more
Published on 2011-04-03 07:59:00
Little pig, little pig, let me sin. > read more
Basketball
Published on 2011-03-24 19:12:00
Three people are playing basketball on a hot day. They stop playing and go to a restaurant (just a cheap place.. not gourmet..), where a man on the next table stops leans over and asks "were you the guys playing basketball earlier on?".They answ > read more
Don't don't care
Published on 2011-03-24 19:02:00
The absolute worst thing to happen to a person/group is not caring about anything.Not in like a 'punk' way. Hating things still has passion attached.I mean.. Literally not caring either way.When that happens, you get stuff like rubbish musi > read more
Published on 2011-03-20 18:24:00
Colonel Gaddafi .vs. Colonel Sanders in a mud-wrestling match. Who would win? > read more
3D FILM
Published on 2011-03-13 19:36:00
"Do you like films in 3D?""It just causes headache and distraction." > read more
Published on 2011-03-10 18:09:00
Everybody is trying to be a little artist. > read more
Published on 2011-03-10 18:08:00
Mr. & Mrs. Perfect were found dead today. > read more
Published on 2011-03-01 13:34:00
He slides it into your eye, the paperclip.You ask him why.You think it's an act of barbarism.It's anything but.You see more with this metal in your eye than you ever used to.Is that ironic?Irony.is.for.cunts.Is that ironic?I don't know, any more.As m > read more
Published on 2011-03-01 13:24:00
Your pizza is out of date.Abort it and start again. > read more
Published on 2011-02-28 19:42:00
Hey, Charlie Sheen!..You don't actually exist! > read more
Published on 2011-02-28 19:39:00
You know when you see a really fat person?Pinch their fat flesh as hard as you possibly can. And then again. And again.They will scream.Pinch them again.Never stop pinching their shell.You'll get through eventually. You'll rouse a response.This is th > read more
Published on 2011-02-28 19:37:00
You know when you see a really fat person, and It's quite funny, 'cos it's all like "they chose to be that way, the fat cunt!".Don't do that. It's really mean. > read more
true
Published on 2011-02-28 19:36:00
There was a man from Exeter,who built a beautiful machine,the machine allowed for infinite possibility,the man wept at what he saw,he wept the good tears,existential rapture,he destroyed the machine,it was the best course of action he could ever have > read more
Published on 2011-02-28 19:33:00
Everything will probably be fine. Like, there's layers of doubt and then when you take into account logic, things seem really fucked, right?Seriously though, everything will be fine.Just wait and see. > read more
Published on 2011-02-28 19:30:00
Given that, time is limited, why not just go and fucking discover the essence of what is good and then go and practise that?I'm not asking much of you...Right, yes, but.. I read a philosophy book this one time, and.. it was all like "What you ca > read more
Published on 2011-02-28 19:24:00
You're on monkey bars. They are greased and below you is a pit of fire. > read more
You can do it
Published on 2011-02-26 19:35:00
You're boring as fuck.No?Prove me wrong then.Okay, good! > read more
Go here
Published on 2011-02-26 19:29:00
This is Valencia, in Spain. I went to Valencia for a holiday, years ago. The place we stayed in was named after somebody who died in the World Trade Centre attacks. That didn't change the mood at all.I want to live there for a bit. The people were ni > read more
Published on 2011-02-26 19:24:00
Sunflowers are pretty good. I like how they can grow and grow, but still remain nice and simple. I also like their stalk, and their seeds that just appear in their faces.I'm going to get a sunflower again. > read more
Published on 2011-02-26 19:22:00
As I was going to St.Ives, I stopped and questioned everything that I'd ever internalised. > read more
YOU HIPPIE SCUMBAG
Published on 2011-02-26 19:17:00
A lovely chicken sandwich.It's got lettuce.. It's got mayo.. It's got butter.. It's got multi-seed, doughy bread.. It's got chicken.It's got CHICKEN.IT HAS GOT A DEAD LIFE-FORM INSIDE."Killing animals is bad!""You vegetarian, partisan boring wan > read more
The Great Mr.Lead
Published on 2011-02-26 19:00:00
For my next feat I require a member of the audience!.......Yes! You Madam! Perfect..................Ladies and Gentleman; observe!......Now, madam, I'd like you to know that sometimes I just sit with tears streaming down my face, offended.. hurt > read more
Here's some advice
Published on 2011-02-26 18:44:00
Me and my mates tried Salvia this one time. Salvia. You know, legal old Salvia.Worst, scariest fucking thing ever. > read more
Morning Routine
Published on 2011-02-26 18:42:00
You wake up at 7:15am.A slow walk to the bathroom, and a quick wee. Weeing out all of the night's stored piss. Into the bowl of the toilet. Quick wipe; quick flush.Turn to the sink; wash your hands. There. Washed.Grab the toothbrush. Run the water on > read more
Published on 2011-02-24 17:11:00
"Show us your tits love!"--------------------------"Ha, get 'em out for the lads!.. And get yourself a drink.. here, here ya go! Look, £3 for ya.. go on.. any drink""I'm trying my best to perform lifesaving surgery on your aorta. This really is > read more
Published on 2011-02-24 17:06:00
Action Man: Peace Envoy Edition > read more