Blog Feed: fun stories for you

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness: The lawyer: "Did you actually see the accident?" The witness: "Yes, sir." The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?" The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches." The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?" The witness: "Because when the accident happened [..] > read more

Time Please ...

Published on 2012-04-28 13:22:00

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a c [..] > read more

Idiot Farmer

Published on 2012-04-24 12:04:00

An idiot decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot, "I think I'm planting them too deep." > read more

Funeral

Published on 2012-04-20 10:38:00

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching thenearby cemetery.A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearseabout 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.The woman was so curious that she respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am [..] > read more

Taking it with me

Published on 2012-04-18 12:13:00

As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.He called for the three men he trusted most his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me."All three agreed to do this and were given the money.At the funeral, each approached the coffin in [..] > read more

Lion tamer

Published on 2012-04-15 11:07:00

Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer."The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming.""Yes I do!""Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?""Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down.""Well, what if the lion takes that big paw, and hooks the chair with them big claws, and throws that chair out of the cage? Wha [..] > read more

Why Windows 95 ?

Published on 2012-04-10 23:43:00

Windows 95 - Plug and pray...Windows 95 is out! (PC Magazine, April 2013)Windows 95 - New look, same multicrashingWindows 95 will be released as soon as Windows 3.1 finishes loadingWindows 95 - Every function is a restart function...Windows 95 does really have preemptive Multitasking: It can boot and crash at the same time.Windows 95 - crash compatible on Windows 3.x > read more

Honest Lawyer

Published on 2012-04-10 12:54:00

An investment counselor went out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, so she began interviewing young lawyers."As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?""Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about [..] > read more

smartest person in the world

Published on 2012-04-09 13:35:00

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.The lawye [..] > read more

Dog Watch

Published on 2012-04-08 11:14:00

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from." > read more

Mac do not support Virus!

Published on 2012-04-07 12:44:00

I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.I was against it and an argument started.I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs." > read more

New Lawyer

Published on 2012-04-06 02:43:00

Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first. One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived.As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking.." [..] > read more

Is Windows a Virus?

Published on 2012-04-05 15:20:00

No, It is not. Windows is not a virus. Below are the things viruses do:1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their sy [..] > read more

Lawyer In Hell

Published on 2012-04-01 09:07:00

A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil's hands. "You will be spending eternity here, but I'll let you pick your own room from three I'll show you," the devil said.In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. "I don't like that," said the man. "Show me the second."In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. "Well, that's better than brick," the man said, "but show me the third."In the third, thousands of peop [..] > read more

Just follow the Tracks

Published on 2012-03-31 13:37:00

Three men are stranded in the middle of the Canadian Forest and they don't know where they are at. They decide that they have to find some food. So the first man leaves and tells the other two that he is going to get some food. Several Hours later, he comes back with a deer over his shoulder. The other two are amazed and ask him how he got a deer with no weopans. He replies, " I find tracks, i follow tracks, i get deer". They [..] > read more

How to get married Bill Gates's daughter

Published on 2012-03-25 11:55:00

Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice" Son : "I will choose my own bride!" Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter.." Son : "Well, in that case.....ok" Next - Father approaches Bill Gates. Father : "I have a husband for your daughter." Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!" Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank." Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok" Finally Father goes to [..] > read more

Season Ticket

Published on 2012-03-23 12:07:00

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.""Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?""Absolutely not," he said."How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not.""Season's more than half over," he said. BDV-58391-BDV > read more

Cathalic Dog

Published on 2012-03-19 12:07:00

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, me dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?"Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, an there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature."Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya' thi [..] > read more

Sure Way of Telling a Mans real age

Published on 2012-03-18 08:23:00

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply."I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29"."I am ac [..] > read more

The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice...

Published on 2012-03-17 12:30:00

The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard at low pay for long hours. The blacksmith immediately began his instructions to the lad, "When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil; and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer."The apprentice did just as he told. Now he's the village blacksmith. BDV-58391-BDV > read more

The Haircut

Published on 2012-03-13 11:53:00

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I [..] > read more

Do not argue with ladies

Published on 2012-03-12 10:46:00

I am sure that the taxi cab driver learnt that it pays to keepyour mouth shut is some situationsA woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Montreal.It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under theawnings."Mom" said the boy "what are all those women doing?""They're waiting for their husbands to get off work" shereplied.The taxi driver turns around and says "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."The little [..] > read more

Apple Product in Family

Published on 2012-03-12 07:31:00

Pool uncle has paid all the electronic expenses for the children.... BDV-58391-BDV > read more

God loves drunk people too

Published on 2012-03-11 07:19:00

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push."Not a chance," says the husband, "it's 3:00 in the morning!"He slams the door and returns to bed."Who was that?" asked his wife."Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers."Did you help him?" she asks."No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!""Well, you have a sho [..] > read more

Eating Grass

Published on 2012-03-10 07:09:00

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass.Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?""We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass.""Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said."But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.""Bring them along," the lawyer [..] > read more

You Are The Father Of One Of My Kids

Published on 2012-03-09 06:36:00

Lady On Phone:"Hi Sir, I want To Meet & Talk To You.You Are The Father Of One Of My Kids."Man Is Stunned and says:"Oh my God!"R U Jessica?No.Pamela?No.Anna?NoChristina?No.Joella?No.Elissa?No.Lady in confusion:"Sir, I am The Class Teacher Of Your Son." BDV-58391-BDV > read more

Harms of alcohol

Published on 2012-03-08 07:58:00

A teacher in a high school, famous for his high regard for social values, was teaching the students on the harms of alcohol.To demonstrate its adverse effect on the human nervous system, he took a worm and dropped it into a bowl of gin & tonic.The worm wriggled around for a few minutes before finally giving a few convulsive twitches and dying.“So what can you conclude from it?”, asked the teacher, expecting that the answer is too obvious.“Yes,” came a voice from the back, “if you have [..] > read more

Chinese quality

Published on 2012-03-07 08:52:00

A chinese man married an African woman and had a child. Two months later the child passed away.At the funeral house a family member of the African woman kept sobbing and crying,and kept saying I JUST KNEW IT!!So a family elder pulled her aside and discreetly asked her'what she knew?'She replied 'Chinese products don't last long!!!! BDV-58391-BDV > read more

I no come work today!!!

Published on 2012-03-07 04:23:00

Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick . Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.The boss John says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me Sex. That Makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.'Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what Yousay and I feel Great. I be at work soon........by the way,you got really a nice house'!!! BD [..] > read more

An Engineer in Hell

Published on 2012-03-02 22:49:00

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telep [..] > read more

Drug case!!!

Published on 2012-02-01 02:14:00

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and persuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday." Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persua [..] > read more

Drunk Test

Published on 2011-06-28 06:17:00

A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer > read more

The smart way to catch Burglars

Published on 2011-06-15 10:55:00

It was late and Charlie was about to climb into bed when his wife informed him that there was a light on in their garden shed. Charlie started to go outside to turn off the light but noticed some people in the shed who were busy stealing his things.H > read more

Babies have big appetites

Published on 2011-03-15 10:49:00

Mum comes home with the new born baby from hospital. As she breast feeds the little baby, her 5 year old son Roger joins her and looks at the baby and than at her with big wide eyes.Mum smiles at his curiosity. Hesitantly little Roger asks: "Does the > read more

Revenge on a Taxi Driver

Published on 2011-02-13 09:45:00

Two years later the man comes back and goes to the same casino. This time he wins money. As he exits the casino, he sees a long line of Taxi drivers.. and at the end is his enemy from two years ago.Seeing this, the man decides to get his revenge. He > read more

Stuck Boyfriend

Published on 2011-01-05 10:09:00

He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car.He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse.At 60 off came the pants.At 65 it was her bra and at 70 her panties.Now seeing her naked for the first time and traveling faster than he ever had be > read more

The Religious Horse

Published on 2010-12-15 10:23:00

Once a man bought a horse. You had to say ?hallelujah? to make it go and ?amen? to make it stop.The man was riding his horse one day but then he realized he was riding to an edge of a cliff.He was so scared he forgot how to make the horse stop. He th > read more

Smart Blonde

Published on 2010-12-05 10:38:00

A blonde woman boards an airplane. She is extremely exhausted and just wants to take a nap. She finally finds her seat and sits down next to a very curious young man.He wants to test the whole dub blonde thing and possibly make some money out of it. > read more

Medical problem

Published on 2010-11-02 13:05:00

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can > read more

Medical problem

Published on 2010-11-02 13:05:00

911 calls...

Published on 2010-11-01 10:01:00

Dispatcher: 911 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am n > read more

911 calls...

Published on 2010-11-01 10:01:00

Funny animated gifs #1

Published on 2010-10-23 03:12:00

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Funny animated gifs #1

Published on 2010-10-23 03:12:00

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Funny animated gifs

Published on 2010-10-23 03:06:00

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Funny animated gifs

Published on 2010-10-23 03:06:00

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Out of the mouths of babies

Published on 2010-10-14 23:22:00

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you. Better to be safe than…………… > read more

Out of the mouths of babies

Published on 2010-10-14 23:22:00

Hard to find

Published on 2010-10-13 15:01:00

Two men are out just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, ‘I think I will divorce my wife. She hasn’t spoken to me in over 2 months.’ Charles continues slowly sipping his beer then thoughtf > read more

Hard to find

Published on 2010-10-13 15:01:00

Smart Fishing

Published on 2010-02-20 08:15:00

A farmer in the country noticed that a gentleman would fish at the lake (close to the farmer's house) and would always leave with a stringer full of fish. The fellow had a boat but a fishing pole was not to be seen. The farmer mentioned the sit > read more

Drug case!!!

Published on 2010-02-19 02:14:00

Faulty Disk Copy

Published on 2010-02-06 13:38:00

"Hello? Is this the technical support hotline?" "Yes, this is Carl speaking. How may I help you today?" "I think my disket > read more

Valentine's day gift

Published on 2009-05-23 09:54:00

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?""You'll know tonight", he said.That evening, the man came home with > read more

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