Go Figg'r!

Ho! Ho! Ho? 'Ho No~No!

Published on 2010-08-30 23:46:00

I feel sorry for the family, but PUH-LEASE! This chick graduated with HONORS? She was in the chimney for 3 days, while her ex was overseas. . . But I could smell it from MY house. . . She was also pretty snockered from reports that came out today. . . I guess she learned HER lesson, huh?. . . well, I mean. . . oh, nevermind. At least she went out with some dignity. . . 'Til Then. . . Go Figg'r!Peace Out. . . LaterD A NRemember. . . There's a NEW SITE IN TOWN!http://gofiggr.c

Feel Good Story of the Week!

Published on 2010-08-05 13:43:00

...At least it makes ME feel good... Yeah, occifer. . . *hic* What the hell took you so long?... I don't care if you take me there. . .*urp* but can you drop by the LQ on the way there. . .*hic* I need me a bottle of somethin'. . .Thanks Sheriff. . . You got a perrty mouth...*urp*'Til Then. . .Go Figg'r!Peace Out...LaterD A NP.S. BONUS**** Conversation of the Week!!!The Setup:After being told that I hadn't given a gas station attendant a Twenty Dollar Bill, when I definitely HAD. . . then, being

CHULUPA COBRA Terrorizes Unsuspecting Throng of IDIOTS!

Published on 2010-07-19 23:54:00

. . . Okay, so it's not a Chulupa Cobra, but if it WERE, I might be a little more interested in this story. In an effort to bury and replace an actual "news-worthy" story bearing any sort of merit or value to our community, (like reporting the unemployment rate in Bakersfield eclipses the National average by, like 30 percent) the folks at my local Bakersfield NBC affiliate (whom I pick on relentlessly) decided to run a piece about a poor dog with MANGE inhabiting a

Stellar. . . in fact, I'm CRAPTACULAR! Thanks. . .

Published on 2010-07-09 01:08:00

"I'm not half as important as I think I am". . . A sentiment that should really sink in if you ever watch television. This last week my TV was under siege with stories of Lebron James, Kate plus 8, Jon minus Kate plus tattoo, Bruce Willis' new cologne, Lohan goes to JAIL(it's about time) etc. and so forth. To be honest, since my illness kicked into high gear over the past month and since my surgery, I really haven't been keeping up with the news as much as I usually do. I have, instead, been try

The Party. . . is Moving. . .

Published on 2010-06-12 00:43:00

I am in the process of moving your "favorite" blog (I would be referring to THIS) to its own WEB SITE http://gofiggr.com! So if you want to check it out go to http://gofiggr.com and let me know what you think. There aren't any bells and whistles. (yet) But I have a few surprises in store. . . if I can just figure out what the heck I'm doing. . . Thanks for reading. . . and as always. . . 'Til Then. . . Go Figg'r!Peace Out. . . Later D A NP.S. Load times may be a little slow,

Hyperbolic Stare-oids Left Me a Little Teste

Published on 2010-06-08 16:00:00

 . . . I mean "testy". . .Unless you are doing a "self-examination". . . in which case, it might be true either way. Unless you're a woman. If you ARE a woman. . . congratulations. . . on putting up with being one. That's some kind of dedication. I couldn't do it. Too much "pain" involved. . . Gnarly stuff. Last time I checked, I was a man. . . Not that I have to check with any regularity. I usually catch it during the "self-examination". . . like the one they showed us how to "perform" in

I'm Going to Judge the "HELL" Out of You!

Published on 2010-05-22 16:07:00

. . . So who am "I" to judge you?. . . To be honest, I thought I'd "laid it out" for you pretty well. . . You really should've been paying more attention. Rather than repeat myself for the entire class, I'd like to meet with some of you after school for a "tutoring session". It shouldn't take too long. Just make sure you bring a sharpened #2 pencil. . . and some band-aids. . . This might get "messy".So what am I talking about. . . exactly? Well, it seems that I have outdone myself in the "Pissin

How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up?

Published on 2010-05-17 00:11:00

I'll give you a hint. . . One. . . Okay, sometimes Two. . . But "which ones"? I find the problem lies in the fact that I ONLY have two "free ones" to aid me in "saluting" those that find a way, come hell or high water, to really mess things up for the rest of us during the course of any given day. It occured to me recently, that I am going on my third straight week of trying to be NICE. . . I am starting to get a little edgy. Any time that I focus on my "Children's Book" or "Animated Film"

The Fly By Knights - I've got it "ROUGH"

Published on 2010-05-08 17:18:00

Hey Guys. . . I've been busy over the past couple of weeks. I've been trying to get the New Site up and running. However, I wanted to take this opportunity to share a "rough" of the first few chapters of the Children's Book (and Hopefully FILM) I have been working on, of late. . . I understand that this is a departure from what most of you have grown accustomed to with my usually "Snarky Bits". . . But, I just wanted to get it out there. . . To be HONEST, I have been getting jerked around by a "

Thinking on My Feet, Without Stepping on Your Toes

Published on 2010-04-24 23:07:00

In a Sea filled with IDIOTS, I am an island alone. . . Where everyone gets stranded. . . trying to figure out how to drink their own pee. . .  ~danof89In my estimation we have become a society of "Hypocritical Wussies". . . or is it "Hyper-Critical Windbags"? At this point, I am not really feeling too awfully bad about where I "fit" in all of this. Let me tell you why . . . and isn't that what we're all here for? (I know I can't wait to see where I'm going with this) I'd just like to know h