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The Least Surprising Manchester United News This Summer
Published on 2012-05-17 07:30:25
Michael Owen has been released by Sir Alex Ferguson after three years at the club. 17 goals in 52 games does not betray the reality of his time at Old Trafford. Only five of those strikes were in the Premiership, and his last relevant league goal was in September 2010, a late equaliser against Bolton. [...] > read more
Gary Neville: Roy Hodgson’s Latest Addition
Published on 2012-05-14 11:38:47
In a move certain to inspire at least a small amount of interest in the England team from the “United > England” brigade, Roy Hodgson has added Gary Neville to his back-room staff for the next four years. He takes up a coaching role, which is his first step towards management. Perhaps Neville could one day be [...] > read more
Five Reasons Why This Season Was Better Than Last
Published on 2012-05-14 07:57:39
Yesterday was bloody nuts. We experienced the whole dictionary of emotions yesterday at one time or another. Anger, when Paddy Kenny let Pablo Zabaleta’s tame effort slip through his grasp and Joey Barton went into meltdown. Elation, when Wayne Rooney, Djibril Cisse and Jamie Mackie found the net. Fear, as City staged a barnstorming assault on the QPR goal [...] > read more
Shinji Kagawa: Fergie’s Kind of Signing
Published on 2012-05-11 07:35:48
Of all the names being chucked about by the media, the fans and the gibbons that run and write for Caught Offside, the one that seems most likely to soon be printed on the back of a Manchester United shirt is that of Borussia Dortmund’s 23-year-old Japanese forward Shinji Kagawa. He’s young, he’s affordable and, it would seem, he’s not [...] > read more
City Winning the Title Does Not Make This Season a Failure
Published on 2012-05-10 08:27:17
There has been a lot of rubbish flying around this season. This is an average United team. We’re on the decline. The balance of power has shifted. Fergie’s empire is crumbling at last. You know, the same kind of crap we have to wade through every time someone other than Manchester United wins the league. It’s [...] > read more
Paul Pogba and Ben Amos: Genuine Options
Published on 2012-02-01 07:04:13
Last night we comfortably disposed of Stoke City 2-0 at Old Trafford, a win which moved us level on points with City once more. Although both goals came from the penalty spot, there was plenty left in the tank, and we were given a good 20 minutes of Paul Pogba in midfield. At the other [...] > read more
Pepe: Thug, Animal and Exactly What We Need
Published on 2012-01-19 07:22:40
Those of you who watched an initially enjoyable Clasico last night would no doubt have been disturbed by the antics of Real Madrid’s midfield destroyer Pepe as the game wore on. Pepe was physically imposing, tactically fouling, throwing his weight about the midfield and generally being a bit of a hard case. At least, until he overstepped the mark [...] > read more
Debate: Would The Current Manchester United XI Beat A Present-Day Former United XI?
Published on 2012-01-17 07:16:09
I was having a debate with a friend over the weekend as to what constitutes a selling club, or a club in decline. An interesting idea we had was that you can tell a selling club by comparing their current XI with the best available former players XI. If the former players XI would beat the current [...] > read more
Gibson and Morrison Transfers: I Know Which One I’ll Miss
Published on 2012-01-12 07:14:33
It’s emerged this week that we’re getting rid of Darron Gibson and, more than likely, Ravel Morrison in this transfer window. Gibson looks set to make a £2m switch to Everton and Morrison has been subject of a £500’000 bid from Newcastle United which we have rejected – we’re probably trying to spark off an [...] > read more
Rooney and Vidic Named In FIFA World XI
Published on 2012-01-11 07:01:50
There were honours for Manchester United players at the FIFA Ballon d’Or gala the other night, with Wayne Rooney and Nemanja Vidic both being named in the Best XI for 2011. Wayne was also one of three finalists for the Puskas Award, given to the scorer of the best goal of the year, but lost out to Santos sensation Neymar. Leo [...] > read more
What Was Wrong Pre-City?
Published on 2012-01-11 06:38:10
Can has new contributor? Can! Here’s our newest writer, James, on his thoughts as to where we were losing our way. Please note, this was written pre-City! Can we all just please calm down? Before I start I’d better say that I’m focusing on the league here; our exit from the Champions League was completely as a result of complacency [...] > read more
Kompany Tackle: What Not To Say
Published on 2012-01-09 07:23:04
The Vincent Kompany red card at the weekend has divided opinion amongst football fans. If you take out the Manchester City fans, who insist the decision was horrific, and the United fans who universally back it, then you’ll find the whole range of opinions held, from “definite red” to “worst decision of the season”. This, I can accept. [...] > read more
Is It Nearly Jose Time?
Published on 2012-01-07 08:00:43
There isn’t a manager who divides opinion more than Jose Mourinho. Outspoken, controversial and outrageously successful, he is seen as both arrogant and brilliant, often by the same people. I would love nothing more than for Jose Mourinho to be the next Manchester United manager. I have made no secret of this. Clowns can go [...] > read more
The Manchester Derby: Let Them Gloat. The Title Is Decided In May
Published on 2012-01-07 07:16:29
Given the horrible performances we’ve put in against Blackburn and Newcastle in the past few days, you would be forgiven for thinking that we are going to be like turkeys in the line of fire against City on Sunday afternoon. City, for their part, will be without Yaya Toure and Gareth Barry in midfield and the [...] > read more
Newcastle Post-Mortem: How Do We Fix This?
Published on 2012-01-05 07:10:31
It’s perhaps a little bit rash to say this when we’re three points behind the leaders at the start of the year, with both of us beginning to wobble a bit after strong starts, but you can’t help but think that there’s a crisis on our hands. Given our previous two fixtures, you’d expect us to take [...] > read more
Huntelaar to United: Five Years Too Late
Published on 2011-07-04 06:57:56
There aren’t many players that, given the success we’ve had over the past five or six years, I really wish we’d signed. This disappointment at missing out on Ronaldinho was tempered somewhat by the fact that we used the money to sig > read more
David De Gea Deal Done, At Last
Published on 2011-06-29 07:36:31
David De Gea has now officialy signed for Manchester United from Atletico Madrid for a reported fee of £18.9 million. He has signed a five-year contract with the club. A top young goalkeeper who will become one of the best in the world for the next > read more
Pastore and Cavani: Utter Fantasy Signings
Published on 2011-06-29 07:16:32
Yesterday I was moved to write about our midfield balance, given the way that names were being indiscriminately tossed around by our fans in the hope of somehow piecing together an all-star midfield jigsaw featuring none of our current central midfie > read more
Midfield Balance: How is it Looking After Signing Young and Jones?
Published on 2011-06-28 07:49:40
This summer, it was widely agreed that Manchester United needed to strengthen in two areas in principal, central midfield and in goal. The need for a dominant goalkeeper was obvious, with the great Edwin van der Sar hanging up his gloves and the rela > read more
Time To Forget About Luka Modric
Published on 2011-06-22 06:34:47
Given the noises being made by Luka Modric, Tottenham Hotspur and Chelsea, it’s time to write off any hope of signing the little Croatian, no matter how perfect a fit he would be for our midfied. Firstly, Tottenham do not want to sell one of t > read more
Berbatov to PSG: What Madness Is This?
Published on 2011-06-21 08:00:48
Paris St Germain used to be a good football team. Back in the 90s they had players like Patrice Loko, Rai, David Ginola and, most notably, Ballon d’Or winner George Weah. Somewhere they lost track of what they were doing, and have flitted with > read more
Ji-Sung Park: We Cannot Afford To Sell Him
Published on 2011-06-20 08:25:03
For some reason, all sorts of rumours have popped up today suggesting that Park could be on his way out of Old Trafford. The WUM award goes to whichever idiot suggested that we could be swapping him with Santos to get Neymar, an absolutely ludicrous > read more
England U21s – Only United Players Emerge With Any Credit
Published on 2011-06-20 08:05:40
England failing miserably at finals tournaments isn’t news. It happens with alarming regularity, perhaps because we’re not half as good as we seem to think we are. However, the recent display at the European U21 Championships was particul > read more
Manchester United Fixtures: Tought Start, Decent Run-In
Published on 2011-06-17 07:17:16
The fixtures are out, and they’re quite kind to us, all told. Manchester United will open away to West Brom, followed by home games against Spurs and Arsenal. Arsenal, for their park, visit us on the pack of a trip to Newcastle and the visit of > read more
Free Transfers: Are There Any Worth Bothering With?
Published on 2011-06-17 02:55:43
The Premier League has today published the list of players who are available on free transfers having been released from their clubs at the end of the season just gone. Manchester United don’t have a tradition of bringing in loads of free trans > read more
Alexis Sanchez: Why Now?
Published on 2011-06-15 02:56:33
There’s something a little strange about the fact that we’re suddenly all over Alexis Sanchez, according to the back pages. Firstly, it appears to have turned into something of a bidding war, with every club worth their salt and Mancheste > read more
Darron Gibson to Sunderland: A Loss, But Not a Great One
Published on 2011-06-14 07:08:45
It seems more and more likely that Darron Gibson will move to Sunderland in the next few days in a deal reputed to be worth about £5m. Sunderland are getting closer and closer to being able to field an all-United XI, having also offered to take Wes > read more
Bebe: LOL
Published on 2011-06-13 07:30:26
When Manchester United signed Bebe last summer, I really wanted it to turn out to be some sort of left-field masterstroke, the sort of transfer that only ever happened on Football Manager when you use the cheat scouting programs to find the world-cla > read more
Manchester United Quartet Shine For England U21
Published on 2011-06-13 07:15:09
Danny Welbeck, Tom Cleverley, Chris Smalling and Phil Jones all started for England U21 in their 1-1 draw with Spain yesterday evening. England were completely outplayed by their Spanish counterparts, but managed to salvage a draw thanks to a cool an > read more
The Lost United: Mads Timm
Published on 2011-06-13 07:06:07
It’s not unusual for there to be a hugely talented young player or two in the Manchester United youth system. If we can learn anything from those who made it and didn’t in the last fifteen years, it’s that talent will only get you s > read more
Bojan Djordjic: A Target for Blackpool
Published on 2011-06-13 06:53:28
Another former next-big-thing, Bojan Djordjic, has poked his head above water once more, being linked with a move to Blackpool over the weekend. Djordjic was once the most talented youngster in our reserves, but fell out of favour due to his attitude > read more
Are Manchester United’s Season Tickets Really a “Rip Off”?
Published on 2011-06-10 06:59:19
Something that really, really annoys me is the fact that ticket prices are constantly used to hammer the Glazers when, in reality, they really aren’t that bad, and are about at the level we should expect. If anything, they are slightly below wh > read more
Phil Jones: The Perfect Compliment to Chris Smalling
Published on 2011-06-09 06:53:49
Eyebrows were raised twelve months ago when Sir Alex Ferguson brought Chris Smalling from Fulham to Old Trafford for an undisclosed fee around the £7m mark. He’d not played much for the Cottagers, and netted an own goal on his debut, for goodn > read more
Fabio Coentrao: Inevitable Move to Real Madrid Ends Evra Nonsense
Published on 2011-06-08 06:51:22
One of the transfer stories which has been rumbling on under the radar since what seems like the stone age is the possibility that Manchester United would sign a left-back. This in spite of the fact that, in Patrice Evra, we have one of the world > read more
Sparky: WTF Are You Doing?
Published on 2011-06-03 07:04:03
Mark Hughes has resigned as manager of Fulham after 11 months in charge, seemingly in an attempt to win the Aston Villa job, which is up for grabs with Houllier leaving to concentrate on his health. With a solid season under his belt and the promise > read more
“New Roy Keane” Liam Miller Heads to Australia
Published on 2011-06-03 06:47:46
Remember Liam Miller? We signed him from Celtic a few years ago, and he made his debut in the center of our midfield in Jose Mourinho’s first game in charge of Chelsea, the game they won 1-0 with a scrambled Eidur Gudjohnsen goal. Well, he̵ > read more
Is Wesley Sneijder Right for Manchester United?
Published on 2011-06-02 07:23:17
Every god forsaken day I log on to NewsNow and see some website or other reporting an “exclusive” that we’re about to sign Wesley Sneijder for £xx million and I bang my head against my desk in a slow, yet firm manner as I let the s > read more
Dimitar Berbatov: Are We About to Make a Huge Mistake?
Published on 2011-06-02 02:59:21
I really, really don’t get why there are any question marks over Dimitar Berbatov’s future at Manchester United whatsoever. He’s the golden boot winner, he was absolutely vital during the early spell of the season when the going w > read more
Michael Owen New Deal: Winners and Losers
Published on 2011-06-01 07:19:41
The news has emerged today that Michael Owen has been offered a new one year deal at the club and, as one would expect, has bitten Sir Alex’s hand off. Of course, one would assume that if he’s a success next season, his contract would aga > read more
Paul Scholes: The Model Midfielder
Published on 2011-05-31 06:26:24
When Scholesy first burst onto the scene, with a brace against Port Vale in the League Cup in 1994, we knew he was a good little player with an eye for goal. Little did we know the colossus of the game he would develop into. Admired by Zidane, Vieir > read more
Barcelona Fall-Out: Where do Manchester United Go From Here?
Published on 2011-05-31 06:05:31
It’s the nightmare scenario; we’ve built this side to conquer Europe, and on Saturday we were given an absolute thumping by Barcelona. We haven’t quite managed it. We’ve spent years trying to figure out European football. Who > read more
Stat Porn: How Barcelona and Manchester United Score
Published on 2011-05-27 06:56:41
FC Barcelona have scored a ludicrous 143 goals in all competitions this season, but have only 3 players who have scored more than ten, the famous trio of Messi, Villa and Pedro. If Iniesta scores on saturday, he will join them in double figures. If s > read more
The UEFA Champions League Final: Barcelona vs Manchester United. Boom.
Published on 2011-05-27 06:28:53
Like most United fans, I don’t really give two hoots about Imogen Thomas. Nor do I care what Sir Alex has apparently done to upset someone this week. I’m not arsed about the whole Glazier situation either, this week. I just don’t g > read more
David De Gea: What is Going On?
Published on 2011-05-26 04:26:37
Sir Alex Ferguson doesn’t announce signings until they are pretty much done. I can’t remember the last time he was caught with his pants around his ankles without Ronaldo in the room, so what’s he doing announcing that we’ve p > read more
Samir Nasri Rumours: I’d Take Him in a Heartbeat
Published on 2011-05-25 07:35:58
For all the shit we have directed at Samir Nasri, some of it deserved, if the rumours linking him with a move to Old Trafford are true, and it’s something Fergie is working on behind the scenes, then I would be absolutely delighted. What better > read more
It’s David De Gea: Atletico Madrid Keeper Agrees to Join
Published on 2011-05-25 07:21:53
Fergie has revealed that we have pretty much wrapped up a deal for the best young goalkeeper in the world, David De Gea, from Atletico Madrid. A figure of about £18m is being bandied about, which is approximately the same as we spent on all of the g > read more
Inter Milan, Juventus Chase Nani: Time to Cash In?
Published on 2011-05-24 07:00:25
I have posted before about the idea that we should cash in on Nani now, whilst his stock his high. My argument, in laymans terms, is that his good form at the start of the season was the aberration and that he has now returned to his usual, frustrat > read more
Manchester United Youth Team Win FA Cup: Keane and Morrison Star
Published on 2011-05-24 06:54:55
With all this other nonsense going on in the paper, it would have been easy to miss the fact that we won 4-1 last night, to take the FA Youth Cup Final 6-3 on aggregate against a stubborn Sheffield United side who gave as good as they got in the fi > read more
Ryan Giggs Can Do What He Likes to Imogen Thomas: He’s Still A Legend
Published on 2011-05-24 06:16:56
This week, of all weeks, is off to a pretty bad start. With Ryan Giggs named in the House of Commons as the footballer who is suing Twitter and has a super-injunction out against Imogen Thomas, a war of words has erupted between rival fans desperate > read more
Real Ask £150m for Ronaldo: City Get a Boner
Published on 2011-05-20 03:24:52
Real Madrid have reportedly decided to sell Cristiano Ronaldo for £150m, for some reason, meaning that they have effectively said that he is available to one team only – our noisy neighbours Manchester City. This is the worst rumour that I hav > read more
Manchester United’s Summer Transfer Targets: Who and Why
Published on 2011-05-19 07:38:55
We’re getting into the silly season now, and a crapload of names are being tossed about as to who we’re going to sign in the summer. David Gill suggested that we might have a slightly busier summer than usual, speaking at last nights Play > read more
Liverpool’s Chances Next Season: An Honest Appraisal
Published on 2011-05-18 07:13:56
I’m going to get murdered for this, but I think that Liverpool could run us closer for the title next season than in any other Premiership season. Liverpool have only finished above us once since the Premiership was founded, in 2001/02 when Ars > read more
Febian Brandy Released by Notts County
Published on 2011-05-17 06:42:21
Remember Febian Brandy at all? He never played for the senior side, but was very highly regarded at Old Trafford and seemed destined for, at worst, a solid carer in the Football League. He played and scored for every England representative team right > read more
Wenger To Sign Another Youngster Who’ll Look Great In The Reserves and Carling Cup but Then Fail To Truly Make The Grade at the Top Level, Leading To More Heartache For Arsenal’s Hilariously Long Suffering Fans
Published on 2011-05-17 03:00:36
Or in other words, Arsenal are about to snap up a 16 year old forward from Barcelona called Hector Bellerin. I don’t know the first thing about him, but I think I know how this one is going to end. > read more
Alex Witsel Rumours Rear Their Heads Again
Published on 2011-05-17 02:58:25
Whispers are that we’re in for Alex Witsel. Young player who’s been touted around for a few summers now, along with his team-mate Steven Defour. He’s a bit of a defensive midfied busybody, Witsel, whereas Defour is closer to Roy Kea > read more
The 19th Title – Six Games That Won It
Published on 2011-05-16 07:34:49
When Chicharito was brought down, and Wayne Rooney slammed home his penalty on Saturday, the title was officially ours. The 19th title. The holy grail. With a point good enough for both teams to achieve their goals, there was never going to be anothe > read more
Sir Alex Ferguson Praises Howard Webb: Hit With FA Charge
Published on 2011-05-13 07:40:56
In a frankly ludicrous twist to the revived ”Respect” campaign, who’s bedraggled corpse was wheeled out by the FA to victimise Manchester United, Sir Alex Ferguson has been hit with an FA charge for making “improper conduct&# > read more
The Park Ji-Sung Rule
Published on 2011-05-12 07:24:23
I am constantly amazed by the number of Manchester United fans who post their predicted lineups to various forums and on various blogs before our massive games and leave out Park Ji-Sung. Even in the run-up to our recent games against Chelsea, peopl > read more
An Actual Guide To Supporting Massive Manchester City.
Published on 2011-05-11 16:59:42
As you may have seen today, City have put an absolutely brilliant article on their homepage – a Bluffers Guide To MCFC. Like most, I suspected a crafty but still pretty good windup. However, this is actually, 100% City taking the piss out of th > read more
Ben Foster Temporarily Retires From International Football
Published on 2011-05-11 07:22:16
Bottler Ben Foster has announced that he does not wish to be considered for England internationals in the near future. After announcing last year that he enjoys playing for a club which does not expect to win every game of football it players, his la > read more
Post-Holiday Catch Up: Where Do I Begin?
Published on 2011-05-11 06:54:36
Hello again, all. Sorry it’s been a couple of weeks since my last update. I have been away on my holidays – badly timed, I know, and have missed out on all the Chelsea and Liverpool baiting that we’ve enjoyed in the last few days. I > read more
Barcelona – Not the Role Model They Are Painted to Be
Published on 2011-04-28 07:30:20
I grew up watching football in an era when there was absolutely no place in English football for diving. When Jurgen Klinsmann joined Tottenham Hotspur in the summer of 1994, there was uproar at the mere prospect of him taking a tumble under minimal > read more
Neuer Wonder-Show Not Enough To Convince Manchester United
Published on 2011-04-28 06:48:18
Edwin has revealed that we have decided who is going to replace Edwin van der Sar next season, and that Manuel Neuer is not the chosen one. “United have made their decision. It’s not Neuer, but I can’t say any more than that.” This comes > read more
The Morning After Manchester United vs Schalke, First Leg
Published on 2011-04-27 06:59:35
If we have learned just two things about football in the past 24 hours, they are that Javier Hernandez is human, and Manuel Neuer is not. I have waxed lyrical on this blog about the ability of the Schalke number 1 beforeand, although I was becoming r > read more
Supersub Javier Hernandez – Where Would We Be Without You?
Published on 2011-04-26 07:02:18
With every passing week, Javier Hernandez’s debut season in English football gets better and better and better. For his latest trick, Chicharito popped up with just over five minutes to go, with United struggling to get the better of Everton, > read more
End of Season Report – Owen Hargreaves
Published on 2011-04-21 04:46:29
Owen Hargreaves will always be remembered at Manchester United as a representing a huge missed opportunity, and his injury nightmare has probably held back our midfield reinforcement plans to the point that we find ourselves as limited in that positi > read more
Nani: Is He Back To the Bad Old Ways?
Published on 2011-04-19 16:50:08
I have just sat through a fairly insipid (albeit not completely inept) performance against Newcastle United, and the one thing that stuck out like the sorest thumb in the whole fucking world was how utterly crap Nani was for most of the time he was o > read more
The Post-Mortem: City vs United
Published on 2011-04-17 10:21:41
These tight semi-finals, in which we have such a good record, so often hinge on moments. A moment of brilliance, like Ryan Giggs’ winner against Arsenal 12 years ago, or a momentary lapse, like Michael Carrick’s gentle side-foot to Yaya T > read more
Goalkeeper Issue: Is David De Gea a Done Deal?
Published on 2011-04-14 07:03:33
All sorts of media sources in Spain are claiming that we have got a deal in place to sign David De Gea. In truth what they probably mean is that we have made a bid that matches the release clause in his contract and that he will now need to make his > read more
The Wednesday After Manchester United vs Chelsea
Published on 2011-04-13 07:42:44
What a result. If there is anyone left in this land, anywhere, that doesn’t think that this Manchester United team is made of the right stuff, then they need to stand up and come and speak to me. Buckets of winning mentality. Unbelievable teamw > read more
Manchester United Are Like A Bacon Sandwich
Published on 2011-04-13 02:58:48
We welcome our new columnist, Mad Dave. He’s a bit mental. Fernando Torres has got to be the worst striker I have ever seen in my life. I play on Sundays with a lad calld Doug. He’s a bit shit, gammy leg and always a sly fag on. Two left > read more
Fernando Torres to Play for Chelsea Against United
Published on 2011-04-12 03:00:22
Rejoice! Fernando Torres, more wasteful than a chocolate bar with six wrappers, is set to start against United tonight in the Champions League. The £50 million punchline, currently at the peak of his career aged 27, has failed to score for Chelsea s > read more
The Biggest Week in Years – Chelsea and City
Published on 2011-04-11 02:59:14
It’s only 9am on a Monday morning, and my stomach is already turning over and over. This time next week we’re going to know if the treble is a realistic goal or if, perish the thought, we are bottlers just like Arsenal. It’s not eve > read more
The Evening of Manchester United vs Fulham
Published on 2011-04-09 13:05:25
Easy one, that. Glad it’s out of the way to be honest. If ever there was a banana skin game in our run in, it was this or Everton. One down, one to go. Chelsea won too, but I’m not bothered about them now, to be honest. They’re wa > read more
Manchester United vs Fulham, Premier League, April 9th
Published on 2011-04-08 11:46:28
With everyone STILL excited over beating Chelsea, and a rematch on Tuesday before City at the weekend, it’s going to be difficult to keep our feet on the ground and our eyes on the visit of Fulham. That is exactly what we must do to drive, once > read more
GOALS: Anderson Returns for Reserves With Brilliant Brace
Published on 2011-04-08 03:01:20
Whilst I was living down sarf, I used to laugh about how terrible Anderson was in front of goal with my United mate whenever we watched us play. He was the most shot-shy player I think I have ever seen and, even on the rare occations that he forced h > read more
The Thursday After Manchester United vs Chelsea
Published on 2011-04-07 16:31:24
It’s 24 hours since the final whistle blew at Stamford Bridge, and I am still absolutely buzzing about the result. Winning 1-0 there was absolutely beyond even my wildest dreams. I don’t think I found a single United blogger predicting th > read more
United Around The Web
Published on 2011-04-06 02:33:14
With our big game against Chelsea tonight, we’re the focus of a lot of today’s media. It’s going to be pretty slow news throughout the day, you’d think, but my word, do we have something to look forward to later. Martin Samuel > read more
Manchester United vs Chelsea Away – Champions League – April 6th
Published on 2011-04-05 10:55:08
If you’re talking about teams who are legends further afield than just amongst their own clubs fans, then you have to look at teams that have won the Champions League. How many people could name the starting lineup of Blackburn’s Prem > read more
The PFA Awards Shortlists: We Don’t Win Popularity Contests
Published on 2011-04-05 03:59:32
The PFA have announced their shortlist for the Player of the Year gong and, surprise surprise, Nani and Berbatov have both been omitted from the list. Samir Nasri, Charlie Adam, Carlos Tevez, Gareth Bale, Scott Parker and our own Nemanja Vidic make u > read more
Wayne Rooney Swearing Ban: The FA Can Go And Fuck Themselves
Published on 2011-04-04 12:40:45
The Football Association have singled out another Manchester United player by handing Wayne Rooney a two match ban for swearing at a television camera. This is the first instance of the FA banning a player for swearing on a football pitch, and comes > read more
The Monday After Manchester United vs West Ham
Published on 2011-04-04 07:15:00
Thanks, Wayne Rooney, for scoring a brilliant hat-trick to salvage three lost points for us at West Ham. Considering how crap he’s been for most of this season, and the first 60 minutes of the game on Saturday, this performance helps to mend ye > read more
Manchester United vs West Ham, The Premiership, April 2nd
Published on 2011-03-31 08:32:27
My word, international breaks drag don’t they? No United games for a whole two weeks? Thank god we’re back to the real business this weekend, and it’s very much the start of the business end of the season. Indeed, the two week break > read more
United Around The Web
Published on 2011-03-31 06:39:31
Other than the Leao signing, it’s a very slow news day, but here are some snippets from around the web. Someone called Rogelio Funes Mori wants to join United and thinks he’s as good as Saviola, Crespo and Higuain combined. Here’s s > read more
United Sign Brazilian Defensive Midfielder On Loan
Published on 2011-03-31 06:17:04
Don’t get too excited though - Rafael Leao is one of the young lads from Desportivo, who were pictured in the directors box for the game against Bolton. Leao is a team-mate of Gladstony, the young man most mistook for Douglas Costa. Gladstony > read more
United Secure First Option on Angelo Henriquez
Published on 2011-03-31 03:33:46
Our policy of recruiting young South American players has continued to bear fruit, as we have secured the first option on young Chilean striker Angelo Henriquez from Universidad de Chile. The young striker has been in impressive form at the South Ame > read more
Nemanja Vidic Gets Through 90 Minutes of Serbia Action
Published on 2011-03-31 03:13:34
Vida played the full 90 minutes for Serbia against Estonia last night. What a massive, massive boost for us in the run-in. With Rio Ferdinand only just getting back to fitness and not certain to play a key role in the business end of the season, the > read more
The Lost United: Bojan Djordjic
Published on 2011-03-31 02:00:24
Those who are big on Football Manager will remember an edition of the game, about ten years ago, on which Bojan Djordjic became one of the stars of the Premiership, if not World football. Life imitated art, and Djordic went on to be a true world bea > read more
Manchester United Linked with Jack Rodwell Once Again…
Published on 2011-03-30 06:53:41
Reports are circulating today, on the back of comments made by Fergie today, that we are going to be signing up to three players come the summer. The media have immediately added two and two to make nine and decided that, once again, we’re bac > read more
Manchester United Around the Web
Published on 2011-03-30 04:08:30
Manchester United Martin Samuel points out how fucked Hernandez is going to be after the summer. Roy Carroll is back in a job. We’re off to America again in the pre-season, including another game against the MLS All Stars. With an absolute shit > read more
The Lost United: Jovan Kirovski
Published on 2011-03-29 05:50:12
Before we even clapped eyes on Tim Howard and Giuseppe Rossi, Jovan Kirovski became the first American player to sign for Manchester United when he joined our youth team in 1992. He was soon labelled the “new Mark Hughes” and looked set > read more
Danny Welbeck Added to England Squad
Published on 2011-03-29 04:16:04
Great news for Danny Welbeck today, as he is added to Fabio Capello’s England squad as a replacement for the injured Aaron Lennon. Although the squad is heavily weakened by the return of Chelsea and Manchester United players to their respective > read more
Have We Wrapped Up a Deal for David de Gea?
Published on 2011-03-29 03:57:37
Reports in Spain suggest that we have agreed a fee for Atletico Madrid keeper David de Gea. Those same reports also claim that he has been seen house-hunting in Manchester, but of course, the sources aren’t exactly reliable. This is the same Sp > read more
Ruud van Nistelrooy: £4m a Year and I’m Yours
Published on 2011-03-29 03:38:53
Manchester United’s most prolific goalscorer of all time is for hire – for just £4m a year. That is the price in wages that he is putting on his own head as he seeks to escape his Hamburg nightmare. Ruud has struggled to put a run of gam > read more
The Top Five Things Mario Balotelli Has Never Heard Of
Published on 2011-03-28 03:00:08
Mario Balotelli has embarrased himself once more by claiming that he had never heard of Nemanja Vidic prior to his move to Manchester City. Balotelli, who met his girlfriend Melissa Castagnoli on Facebook and likes to wear giant gloves on his head, > read more
John Terry Herd Mentality Makes England Look Stupid
Published on 2011-03-26 04:54:08
Do you remember that one kid at school who was inexplicably popular? He was a complete dick to everyone, beyond stupid and pretty much constantly trying to bury his penis in the girls the year below. He was also captain of the football team because h > read more
Shut Up Nani
Published on 2011-03-25 04:53:28
Nani is whingeing today that he doesn’t get to play like a spoiled kid on the playground whilst representing Manchester United in tight games. “I try to enjoy playing now, but it is not always possible because I have a responsibility to t > read more
Manchester United’s Royal Antwerp Loanees
Published on 2011-03-24 05:33:44
Manchester United are now a truly global club, both in terms of fan base and professional reach. This has been exemplified this week by the five young Brazilian players who have visited Old Trafford from Desportivo, our Brazilian feeder club, and the > read more
We’ve Got How Much To Spend?!
Published on 2011-03-23 09:31:24
The MEN is today reporting that we are going to have a summer war chest of £165m to spend, in spite of the Glaziers posting losses of over $100m. You what? Where on earth has this figure come from? Even if we are going to include the full £80m from > read more
Manchester United’s International Break – Who’s Playing Where?
Published on 2011-03-22 07:42:58
With the international break now upon us, and no relevant football matches to keep us entertained until we return to action against West Ham in April. To fill the void, we can keep an eye on the United players who will be travelling around the world > read more
Neuer vs Adler – Eric Steele’s Goalkeeper Scouting Trip
Published on 2011-03-22 05:57:31
The search for Edwin van der Sar’s replacement is at last gaining some focus. It has been widely reported that Manchester United goalkeeping coach Eric Steele travelled to Germany at the weekend to watch Leverkusen face Schalke, so that he coul > read more
Who is Douglas Costa?
Published on 2011-03-21 09:31:39
Every man and his dog reported that Douglas Costa was at Old Trafford at the weekend, sitting in the directors box presumably ahead of a summer move to Manchester United. Since then conflicting reports have emerged as to whether or not it was in fact > read more
The Monday After Manchester United vs Bolton
Published on 2011-03-21 04:51:28
The last thing I wanted to be discussing this morning was the loss of yet another defender but, no sooner does Jonny Evans get himself fit and back into the team than he picks up a likely three-match ban for a red card. Evans had, up until his dismis > read more
10 Places Manchester City Fans Go Instead of the Stadium
Published on 2011-03-18 06:34:47
Last night, a massive total of 27,816 people went to see Manchester City beat European giants Dynamo Kiev 1-0 in the last 16 of the Europa league. This was not enough to see them through, and so the 2011 Europa League will not be the trophy that end > read more
Wayne Rooney Really Is As Stupid As He Looks
Published on 2011-03-17 07:36:17
Wayne Rooney (the person) has plumbed new depths of stupidity today by getting angry and slating fans because they had the nerve to ask if he was really going to be staying in the summer. The fans’ questions followed hot on the heels of newspa > read more