Blog Feed: Derek's Vandalism of Words

Septimity and The Blood Brotherhood

Published on 2012-05-21 08:00:39

Septimity and The Blood Brotherhood It has taken a long while but finally, the third and last Glothic Tale has been told. It’s nearly a year and a half since I started on this last episode in a saga that started with a sequel, was followed by the prequel and now finally it all comes … Continue reading > read more

5 Months With Amazon KDP Select

Published on 2012-05-16 08:00:02

Some months ago I wrote about my initial observations on using Amazon KDP Select. But now with five months of experience under my belt, I thought some may be interested in what my conclusions are. And for those using KDP Select, perhaps to compare experiences. Firstly, it is worth saying that Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) … Continue reading > read more

I Write, Because I Want To

Published on 2012-05-15 08:00:58

There are many reasons to want to write but for me, but making a fortune, achieving fame, being awarded glittering prizes or even just being recognised as a half decent author are not. In fact, and you can believe it or not, I’m not even that concerned about book sales. I write because I want … Continue reading > read more

What And Who I Read

Published on 2012-05-10 08:00:10

As all writers do, I read a lot. So I thought it might be an insight for readers of my blog to know who I read and why. Perhaps another day I’ll post a list of the books and authors I read, but today I’ll give you a taste of the blogs I read regularly, … Continue reading > read more

Your Final Draft Is Unacceptable

Published on 2012-05-08 08:00:28

After weeks, months or years, you have finally finished the last draft of your book. No doubt you have spent hours upon hours checking grammar, spelling, punctuation, plot errors as well as fixing formatting and style problems. You have probably read your final draft so many times by now that you are sick to death … Continue reading > read more

Slap An Indie

Published on 2012-05-04 08:00:38

My post title may sound like a bit of self-flagellation but a recent post by Stella Deleuze titled ‘Indies, sometimes I just want to slap them!’ caught my immediate attention. It’s of course no secret that self-publishing has been a fantastic development for Indie Authors, but unfortunately there are many writers (I do however use this … Continue reading > read more

Let’s Do It For Free

Published on 2012-05-04 04:35:14

One of the eternal mysteries for an author is why some books become popular and others don’t. In my case, after eleven books I can honestly say that my own favourite story is one of my worst sellers. Perhaps It’s the genre, the cover or one hundred other possibilities, but for some reason it just … Continue reading > read more

Right! I’m Dead On Goodreads

Published on 2012-05-01 08:00:13

It took me a while to catch on, but then again, that’s not unusual as sometimes I’m a bit slow on the uptake. After enjoying adding a few new friends each day on Goodreads for some years now, I wondered why my popularity had dried up all of a sudden when quite some time passed … Continue reading > read more

Short Story – The Alternative List By Alex Russell

Published on 2012-04-29 08:00:19

The Alternative List With the local elections coming up Jane and I decide to drive to the Sous-Préfecture in the regional town and ask for advice on voting. Our request is met by a blank look. “What happens?” I ask. “You go to the Mairie and you vote,” replies the young woman, rather sniffily. “Will … Continue reading > read more

Are Ebook Prices Heading South?

Published on 2012-04-28 08:00:28

There has probably been no subject related to ebooks more discussed than price. From the beginning of the Kindle, iBook, Nook and Sony ebook revolution, pricing seems to have been the ‘X’ factor. ‘X’ here being the unknown factor. While ebook prices were originally gauged against paperback and hardcover versions, this formula went out the … Continue reading > read more

Short Story – I Got Beat At The Park By Mary Crocco

Published on 2012-04-27 08:00:48

I Got Beat At The Park I’ve been feeling really bad lately since my mom is feeling so bad. I talk to her daily, but there is no conversation anymore. We used to talk about the books we were reading, TV shows we were watching, foods we were preparing, current events, and more. But she … Continue reading > read more

A Number One And A Nasty Reviewer

Published on 2012-04-26 10:36:01

I must start this post by congratulating my good mate Jack Eason for his book The Seventh Age making it to Number One on the Amazon UK paid bestsellers under Science Fiction adventure. There is surely no one who deserves this success more than Jack. However, as I looked at the book’s page on Amazon, … Continue reading > read more

Publishing Using A Pen Name

Published on 2012-04-25 08:00:22

There are many reasons writers choose to use a pen name for one or more books. Usually it’s because of a complete change of genre or perhaps the topic matter is too far removed from what their loyal readers expect from authors they have read. If an author is well known for children books, perhaps … Continue reading > read more

Ed Benjamin : Harry’s War

Published on 2012-04-25 03:00:11

Harry’s War This novella deals with an epic air battle over Iraq between Iranian Air Force Su-27 Flanker aircraft and United States Air Force F-15C Eagles in the skies over Iraq. The author has divided this book into three basic parts: first, the prelude to this spine-tingling fighter clash, second, the nail biting air battle … Continue reading > read more

Jack Sussek : Manhattan Affair

Published on 2012-04-24 03:00:31

Manhattan Affair In late ’90s Manhattan, Jared “Jed” Chase confesses to his lawyer the snaky, illicit route that landed him in trouble and possibly in jail. Jed led a mundane life working in advertising-sales for The New York Times until he reconnected with recently divorced Katherine Cahill. Her ex-husband, Steve, who happens to be Jed’s … Continue reading > read more

The Trouble With Writing

Published on 2012-04-23 08:00:55

Writing is a bit like cooking. The more you do it, the better you get at it. If I think back to my first attempts at writing, oh, and my first attempts at cooking, I can look back and laugh until my sides split. While writing seems to many like such a natural thing to … Continue reading > read more

The Return Of The Vandal

Published on 2012-04-20 08:00:22

I think I could use this famous Douglas Adams quote: ‘Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so’, and apply it to vacations. It hardly seems like four weeks since I sat at my laptop preparing a post. However I can happily report that I had a great time and even managed to squeeze in a little … Continue reading > read more

The Vandal Is Taking A Break

Published on 2012-03-18 09:00:45

It’s tough work being a Vandal, so every now and then I need a little break. This time it will be an intercontinental, overseas, abroad, change of hemisphere type of flying break for a few weeks as I take some time off to catch up with family and friends back in Australia. Of course there … Continue reading > read more

Lee Chambers : The Pineville Heist

Published on 2012-03-18 04:00:32

The Pineville Heist Seventeen year old Aaron stumbles into the aftermath of a five million dollar bank heist gone wrong. Hiding under a canoe, Aaron partially catches the murder of one of the robbers. In the chaos he sneaks away with the money and heads straight for the closest place of safety, his high school. … Continue reading > read more

How Do Readers Find Your Blog?

Published on 2012-03-17 09:00:09

When I started blogging, the only route to gaining readers for a blog was by encouraging visitors to subscribe. Either by RSS feed or by email. The logic was simply that the more subscribers you had, the more readers you had. While this is still popular with many blog readers who like to follow every … Continue reading > read more

Derek Haines : One Last Love

Published on 2012-03-17 05:00:07

One Last Love Life has the habit of delivering its perverse twists at the most unexpected times. For Bonnie his life had been lived, and the bitter sweet memories of his wife, along with the never ending sorrow of losing his son so young remain with him, but were now ebbing slowly with the passing … Continue reading > read more

Free Ebooks Are Not A New Idea

Published on 2012-03-16 09:00:26

The issue of free book promotion on Kindle seems to have many scratching their heads. While I have read numerous times that some are worried about giving away their work for nothing, it is worth remembering that free books are not a new idea. In fact it is a very old idea and one the … Continue reading > read more

The Most Stupid Book Titles Ever – An Encore

Published on 2012-03-15 09:00:24

In the literary world, there are some book titles that really make on wonder what was going on in the editor’s brain that day. I recently posted some of the worst. Well, I thought I had until I noticed that I had some that didn’t make the first cut due to a lack of space. … Continue reading > read more

Kenneth W. Harmon : Ghost Under Foot: The Spirit Of Mary Bell

Published on 2012-03-15 04:00:43

Ghost Under Foot: The Spirit Of Mary Bell “The knocking on the headboard boomed inside my brain. I stopped breathing, my body paralyzed with fear, as I realized I was not alone in my room.” Ghost under Foot: the Spirit of Mary Bell is the incredible true story of one family’s journey into the realm … Continue reading > read more

Dear Apple, You Don’t Excite Me Anymore

Published on 2012-03-14 09:00:00

I love my Apples, but the release of a new iPad has left me as flat as a pancake – or as flat as an iPad? Maybe this is the problem. It’s just a flat bit of aluminium with a screen, so it’s probably a bit difficult to jazz up. I don’t know? Put fancy … Continue reading > read more

It Was 20 Years Ago Today – No Hold On

Published on 2012-03-13 09:00:44

We all know the line, ‘It was twenty years ago today that Sgt Pepper taught the band to play.’ But goodness me doesn’t time fly. So much so that I just did some mental arithmetic and believe the song should now start with ‘It was sixty-five years ago today…..’ Perhaps I should have noticed this … Continue reading � No related posts. > read more

Paul Collins : Mack Dunstan’s Inferno

Published on 2012-03-13 04:00:00

Mack Dunstan’s Inferno My recent book is called Mack Dunstan’s Inferno and it was inspired by Bowling for Columbine, where Michael Moore challenged actor Charlton Heston on his role in gun rallies on the week of a massacre at Columbine High School. Well, the Heston Estate forbid the use of Charlton Heston in the work, … Continue reading � Related posts: Author – Debbi Mack Jodi Lea Stewart : Silki, the Girl of Many Scarves – Summer Of The Ancient Mark Ellis : Prince [..] > read more

Only KDP Select For Me Now

Published on 2012-03-12 09:00:53

We all know there is a publishing and ebook war going on and as in any war there will be winners and losers as well as casualties along the way. But as an independent author, I don’t want any part of it. I  just want to write and hopefully sell some books. Not die on … Continue reading � Related posts: The KDP Select Experiment – One Month Later Amazon KDP Select – Yes Or No? Before You Desert Smashwords For KDP Select It’s Not Easy Being Keen > read more

Staci Stallings : Deep in the Heart

Published on 2012-03-12 04:00:49

Deep in the Heart Just out of college and completely alone in the world, Maggie Montgomery has one shot left to save her life from an abyss of poverty and hopelessness. Clinging to the last shred of fuel and hope, she arrives at the mansion of Texas billionaire Conrad Ayers. Although Maggie is clearly not … Continue reading � Related posts: Marcus Lopes : Freestyle Love Douglas Wickard : A Perfect Husband Author – Martin Reaves James Marinero : Gate of Tears > read more

Twitter Automation – Is It Worthwhile?

Published on 2012-03-11 08:30:53

As a long time user of Twitter, I have been around the block and back many times and have tried automation in a number of forms. Some successful, some moderately successful, and some abject failures. For those newer to the platform, automation is a tempting alternative to spending hours building a sizeable following and adding … Continue reading � Related posts: Tips On Twitter Following How To Be A Twitter Star Dirty Twitter Tricks Social Media Automation – What Is Acceptable? > read more

Tessa Stokes : Devon Ruthin and a Vampire in Love: Volume one of The Ruthin Trilogy

Published on 2012-03-11 04:00:17

Devon Ruthin and a Vampire in Love This adult paranormal romance/urban fantasy is the first volume in The Ruthin Trilogy. Bliss is lonely and taking chances when she goes off on holiday and meets the man of her dreams, Devon Ruthin. She is trying to replicate the life of a character in a book she … Continue reading � Related posts: Marcus Lopes : Freestyle Love My Take Away Vampire Trilogy Trials And Tribulations Smitten By A Vampire > read more

Tarred With The Same Brush

Published on 2012-03-10 07:30:43

One unfortunate aspect about self publishing is that the amount of badly written and poorly edited books that proliferate on Kindle especially, casts a damning shadow over those writers who work hard in preparing high quality texts. The way ahead for self publishing is for more authors to take greater responsibility and show more pride … Continue reading � Related posts: Free Ebooks For Promotion – Beware! Self Publishing – Not For The Dreamers Authors – The Chilling Real [..] > read more

Writing Has Never Been A Get Rich Scheme

Published on 2012-03-09 08:00:28

The biggest change to have hit the art of writing in the last year or two has been the sudden expectation that by simply publishing a book, readers will rush to part with their money and buy it. Dream on. Writing is an art form that has never been an instant cash cow for authors. … Continue reading � Related posts: Free Ebooks For Promotion – Beware! Writers Writing About Writing Promotional Writing For Writers Free Ebooks – Do They Get Read? > read more

When The Inspiration Deserts You

Published on 2012-03-08 08:00:39

I’ll let you into a very personal secret. When I’m not busily writing, which of course means staring out the window with a blank look on my face, I actually have a list of everyday chores that I have the possibility to tick off upon completion. While none of these tasks carry a mandatory tag, … Continue reading � Related posts: 20 Things I Would Tell A 20 Year Old 5 Things That Annoy Me (Part 4) A Dog’s Tale How To Do Anything At All > read more

Short Story – Echoes Among The Columns By Jack Eason

Published on 2012-03-08 03:00:49

Echoes Among The Columns The great god Ra had not yet arisen from his bed beyond the world of man. Neither had the members of the royal household of Egypt who still slept soundly in the cool air of the palace. No one heard the faint clattering sound of a wooden stylus and a wax … Continue reading � Related posts: Short Story – Runner’s Gauntlet By Jack Eason Short Story – Roggan’s Tower By Jack Eason Jack Eason : Turning Point Short Story – Get High By David Moon > read more

Forget About Publishing a Paperback

Published on 2012-03-07 08:00:36

Like many other authors, I began self publishing with paperbacks following the advent of POD (Print on Demand) publishing. It was a truly wonderful way to take control of your own book publishing and have the choice of selling the books yourself, or making them available to both online retailers and local book stores. There … Continue reading � Related posts: Self Publishing Your Book For Everyone Self Publishing – Not For The Dreamers Publishing eBooks – What A Pain In The Nec [..] > read more

Jack Eason : Turning Point

Published on 2012-03-07 03:00:46

Turning Point For thousands of years, man in his arrogance, has believed that he is unique in the cosmos. During the last decade of the twentieth century, the day finally arrived when a warlike alien species called the Drana returned to our solar system, intent on re-establishing their rule over the Earth once more. The … Continue reading � Related posts: Short Story – Runner’s Gauntlet By Jack Eason Short Story – Roggan’s Tower By Jack Eason Marie Harbon : Seven Point [..] > read more

Ebook Sales And Social Media

Published on 2012-03-06 08:00:04

Read any advice on how to market an ebook and all the tips and tricks and how to’s you find will advise using social networking as the be all and end all of ebook marketing. As ebooks are simply an electronic file that slots in perfectly with Internet delivery, who could argue with this logic? … Continue reading � Related posts: Social Media – Don’t Bank On It Social Media Automation – What Is Acceptable? Fed Up With Social Media Twitter – The Social Media Thu [..] > read more

An Author Of What?

Published on 2012-03-05 08:00:03

author |ˈôTHər|(abbr.: auth. ) noun a writer of a book, article, or report: he is the author of several books on the subject. • someone who writes books as a profession: my favourite authors are Kurt Vonnegut and Aldous Huxley. • the writings of such a person: I had to read authors I disliked. • … Continue reading � Related posts: Author – Mike Pemberton Author – Hubert Williams The New Rude And Aggressive Author Author – K.C. Hilton > read more

How Do You Measure Your Success As A Writer?

Published on 2012-03-04 08:00:25

If you’re an author, there is no better dream than to have the word ‘bestselling’ affixed to your title. Seeing your name at the top of a bestselling list, be it on Amazon, The New York Times or on Goodreads. The reality is however, that there is only room for one book at any given … Continue reading � Related posts: Are You A Writer? In Defence Of The Indie Ebooks Are Not A Universal Success Turn That Story Into A Book > read more

So Is Bittorrent Dead?

Published on 2012-03-03 08:00:35

The recent closure of a number of bittorent sites seems to have drawn a line in the sand for file sharing on the Internet. The end is nigh. One that I used often for a number of years was BTJunkie, and I was disappointed but not surprised to see it close its doors. Before its … Continue reading � Related posts: Yesterdays’ Heroes So Who Bought The Internet? Google Analytics For Writers I Hate Reality TV, Almost > read more

Have A Nice Time – With My Credit Card

Published on 2012-03-02 08:00:28

There are two things that really don’t go together well. Credit cards and the Internet. No matter how careful you are and even if you never use use your credit card online, your card is still open to be used and abused by those who know how to garner card numbers, passwords and personal details. … Continue reading � Related posts: So Who Bought The Internet? The Online Writer Getting To Know You The Problem With All Things Internet > read more

Short Story – Macfarlane Left the Stick in Joint By Marina Sofia

Published on 2012-03-02 03:00:06

Macfarlane Left the Stick in Joint Jenny Macfarlane had never run before. She had waddled up the stairs when late for a meeting, cursing and panting. She had sprinted for a bus and then been too puffed to ask for the correct ticket. She had begged her children to stop running through the house when … Continue reading � Related posts: Short Story – Turning Japanese By Lee Neale Short Story – Driving Licence – Part 1 By Alex Russell Short Story : Terror By David Moon Short [..] > read more

Spammers – The Bane Of Blogging

Published on 2012-03-01 08:00:20

Like most bloggers, I have protection in place to try and combat spammers who go to extraordinary lengths to post comments with the most insidious links. Unfortunately, even with three layers of protection in place, they can still get through. It is a daily routine for me to check comments on my blog for these … Continue reading � Related posts: Blogging – The Stumbleupon Effect Hacked! Promoting Conversation and Interaction Blogger To WordPress – The Lonely Lost Week > read more

Shaune Lafferty Webb : Bus Stop on a Strange Loop

Published on 2012-03-01 03:00:53

Bus Stop on a Strange Loop If you knew the ultimate fate of those around you, would you try to change it … would you accept it … would you warn them? Would you want to know? When brothers Nicky and Ethan escape the degraded, dangerous world of the future, they are seeking only sanctuary … Continue reading � Related posts: Short Story – Out On A Limb By Shaune Lafferty Webb Elisabeth Storrs : The Wedding Shroud P.H.C. Marchesi : Shelby and Shauna Kitt and the Dimensional Holes Dou [..] > read more

Promotional Writing For Writers

Published on 2012-02-29 08:00:06

I know a lot of Vandal readers are writers and authors. So I would like to pose a question to you. Is your promotional writing up to standard? The key to successful writing for promotional reasons is the first ten to fifteen words. This is even more important if the text is going to be … Continue reading � Related posts: Writers Writing About Writing Writers Who Can’t Write Writers And The Need For Validation When Your Writing Is Crap > read more

John R. Phythyon, Jr. : State of Grace

Published on 2012-02-29 03:00:56

State of Grace When his friend and colleague in Urland’s Shadow Service, Sara Wensley-James, is murdered in the elf nation of Alfar, Wolf Dasher’s mission seems simple: track down her killer and bring him to justice. But nothing is going to be easy about this case. Sara named Sagaius Silverleaf, Alfar’s ambassador to Urland as … Continue reading � Related posts: John A Burks, Jr. : Flesh Worn Stone Douglas Wickard : A Perfect Husband Amber Lea Easton : Kiss Me Slowly Cynthia Woolf : [..] > read more

Trilogy Trials And Tribulations

Published on 2012-02-28 08:00:54

It all started so well. A couple of years ago I discovered a fascinating planet called Gloth, and I then went off happily writing about its people and their oddball antics. In fact, so full of enthusiasm and ideas that I just couldn’t stop myself at one book. I did get a little over eager … Continue reading � Related posts: In Defence Of The Indie You’re Either Loved Or Hated Gary F. Vanucci : Covenant of the Faceless Knights: Beginnings Writers And The Need For Validation > read more

Buy My Book! – No Way, I Don’t Know You

Published on 2012-02-27 08:00:20

The ebook revolution really has been completely misunderstood by many new, and even perhaps not so new authors. Whether the author is using self publishing, small press or traditional publishing, I see so many making the same foolish mistake when it comes to convincing readers of their wares. ‘Buy My Book’ they scream, yell and … Continue reading � Related posts: Buy My Book – Or Else? So, Where’s Your Book Then? Brand Yourself Not Your Book Turn That Story Into A B [..] > read more

Short Story – Weather By Alex Russell

Published on 2012-02-27 03:00:33

Weather I don’t know the science behind it but there’s a period every year when, after a long spell of rain, a thunderstorm roars up like a gang of Hell’s Angels gatecrashing a party. At its worst it rips out trees, tears off roofs and hurls hailstones the size of golfballs that smash roof-tiles and … Continue reading � Related posts: Short Story – Alex Russell’s iTest By Alex Russell Short Story – Driving Licence – Part 1 By Alex Russell Short Story ̵ [..] > read more

Yabba

Published on 2012-02-26 08:00:21

While it is common to see statues commemorating famous sportsmen and women, it is extremely rare, if not unique to dedicate a statue to a spectator. As far as I can ascertain, Yabba is the only sports spectator I know who holds such an honour. Stephen Harold Gascoigne, or Yabba as he became famously known … Continue reading � Related posts: The Box Football Hooligans Canine Translation Dictionary Real Football For Real Men > read more

Hey Google! Ich spreche kein Deutsch!

Published on 2012-02-25 08:00:07

No matter how many times I have tried to tell them, it seems Google have decided that I would enjoy all of their services and sites much better – in German! For probably millions of expats, this cunningly unclever use of Google’s localising intelligence is an absolute pain in the butt. I want my sites … Continue reading � Related posts: Google Analytics For Writers Facebook Twitter and Google. Who Will Lose? How To Dress For The Internet Vampire Fetish Fear > read more

How To Add Better Looking Links

Published on 2012-02-25 03:00:34

I visit a lot of blogs, websites and social networking pages that are very informative or entertaining, but are cluttered with poorly formatted links. Using copy and paste to add a long and meaningless URL link looks just plain ugly. … Continue reading � Related posts: How To Increase Blog Traffic Get More Blog Traffic Google Analytics For Writers Modest and Really Good Looking > read more

The Joy Of Writing

Published on 2012-02-24 08:00:10

As I know many Vandal readers are writers, I know they will understand when I say that there are times when the words just get stuck. Some call it writer’s block, but really it’s just a moment in a story … Continue reading � Related posts: When Your Writing Is Crap Writers Writing About Writing How To Self Edit And Proof Read Your Book How To Write A Book > read more

The Twitter Scumbags

Published on 2012-02-24 03:00:14

Twitter is a great platform for information, communication and making new friends. Yes, there are the spammers, but the block button fixes them easily. There are the oddballs, whackos and those who have their own hobby horse to ride, along … Continue reading � Related posts: How To Become Popular On Twitter How To Be A Twitter Star Tips On Twitter Following Dirty Twitter Tricks > read more

Free eBooks – Get Used To It

Published on 2012-02-23 08:00:36

Giving away the books you have written seems to defy logic. Why give away all your hard work for nothing? Well, welcome to the new world of Internet based publishing and book selling, where you can throw all you old logic … Continue reading � Related posts: Free Ebooks – Do They Get Read? Free Ebooks For Promotion – Beware! Making Your Kindle Ebook Free Free Publishing – Do You Know The Rules? > read more

Clancy Of The Overflow

Published on 2012-02-23 03:00:29

It has been sometime since I posted some classic Australian poetry. So I thought I would right that wrong with one of my favourites that opens with an unforgettable line that was burned into my memory in my schooldays. I … Continue reading � Related posts: The Man from Snowy River Blackout Nineteen Roses The Fading of the Siren > read more

The Most Stupid Book Titles Ever

Published on 2012-02-22 08:00:00

An odd fact I’ve noticed about my blog is that my posts about stupidity rate as highly as my posts about books and publishing. So I thought. Why not combine these two popular post topics into one? Hence, today’s offering. … Continue reading � Related posts: Stupid Day Amazing New Planet Discovery How To Make Your Book A Bestseller So, Where’s Your Book Then? > read more

Short Story – The Lizard and the Golden Fish By Bruce Kilarski

Published on 2012-02-22 03:00:57

The Lizard and the Golden Fish A small lizard stood motionless next to a garden pond, his eyes fixed on a swirl in the water below. Beneath the water’s surface glided an exquisitely beautiful fish. Never in this life had … Continue reading � Related posts: Short Story – Allen’s Pledge By Brent Frysinger Short Story – The Kid By Danielle de Valera Short Story – Nosferatu Diaries By Benny Blow Short Story – Turning Japanese By Lee Neale > read more

Publishing eBooks – What A Pain In The Neck

Published on 2012-02-21 08:00:39

There was a time long, long ago in the days when books were books that the singular most important issues that needed careful attention before publishing were editing, proof reading and choosing the typography. Once that first proof copy hit … Continue reading � Related posts: Self Publishing Your Book For Everyone Free Ebooks For Promotion – Beware! Self Publishing – Not For The Dreamers Ebooks Are Not A Universal Success > read more

Short Story – Out On A Limb By Shaune Lafferty Webb

Published on 2012-02-21 03:00:41

Out On A Limb Long before it happened, Soldier knew the end of his world was coming. In truth, it was only as a consequence of his caste that Soldier appreciated better than most where the threat to their small … Continue reading � Related posts: Short Story – The White Lady By Michael C. Boxall Short Story – Roggan’s Tower By Jack Eason Short Story : Terror By David Moon Short Story – The Kid By Danielle de Valera > read more

Yesterdays’ Heroes

Published on 2012-02-20 08:00:42

‘I am the greatest’, was his catch cry and he was right. However, for Ali he was fortunate to have been a star of the sixties and seventies when free to air television was the king maker. I recall our … Continue reading � Related posts: I Hate Reality TV, Almost Has Our Society Lost The Plot? > read more

Marcus Lopes : Freestyle Love

Published on 2012-02-20 03:00:15

Freestyle Love When it comes to one-night stands, Malachi Bishop has “rules”. No pillow talk. No sleeping over. No planning a future hook-up. First names only. It’s just sex, not a prelude to love. But when Cole Malcolm, a smooth-talking … Continue reading � Related posts: Douglas Wickard : A Perfect Husband Mark Ellis : Princes Gate Author – Martin Reaves Jodi Lea Stewart : Silki, the Girl of Many Scarves – Summer Of The Ancient > read more

Can You Remember When?

Published on 2012-02-19 08:00:28

It’s easy to take things for granted, but it really isn’t so long ago that there was no Internet and faxes were the coolest communication tool going. Growing up in a small city stuck on the far west coast or … Continue reading � Related posts: Are You An Apple Freak? Careful What You Tweet – Big Brother Is Watching You Google Analytics For Writers Sucked In By Apple Again > read more

Short Story – Bleeding By Oscar Howell

Published on 2012-02-19 03:00:44

Bleeding Foolishly, I caught my finger in a gauge and it started bleeding. It was late at night. I put a bandage and went to bed. At first I really thought nothing of this incident. The next morning I woke … Continue reading � Related posts: Short Story – Nosferatu Diaries By Benny Blow Short Story – Allen’s Pledge By Brent Frysinger Short Story – Driving Licence – Part 2 By Alex Russell Short Story – The Books By Demie > read more

Sociable Or Marketable?

Published on 2012-02-18 08:00:49

What do you use social networking for? Making new friends and acquaintances? Keeping in touch with family and friends? Or marketing your yourself, your book or your recipe blog? As maturity of new platforms on the Internet takes a couple … Continue reading � Related posts: How Sociable Will I Be When I Die? So, Where’s Your Tribe? Social Media Automation – What Is Acceptable? Get More Blog Traffic > read more

The Taleist 2012 Self-Publishing Survey

Published on 2012-02-18 03:00:01

How are you doing as a self-publisher? It’s a hard question to answer isn’t it? What are you measuring against? Steven Lewis, better known as The Taleist to many of you, is taking a professional snapshot of the self-publishing industry. … Continue reading � Related posts: Self Publishing – Now It’s War! The Self Publishing Money Trap Self Publishing – Not For The Dreamers Self Publishing Your Book For Everyone > read more

Free Kindle eBook Weekend

Published on 2012-02-17 13:45:25

Put a note in you calendars for this weekend if you would like to grab two of my novels for FREE for your Kindle. If you haven’t got a Kindle, don’t worry. You can grab them and read them with … Continue reading � Related posts: Making Your Kindle Ebook Free How Thick Is An Ebook? Free Ebooks For Promotion – Beware! Free Ebooks – Do They Get Read? > read more

Tips On Twitter Following

Published on 2012-02-17 08:30:40

It’s no great secret. We all love Twitter followers, and the more the better. But how do you go about getting people to follow you? Of course Tweeting informative, entertaining and interesting Tweets helps, but we all know in reality … Continue reading � Related posts: How To Be A Twitter Star Dirty Twitter Tricks How To Become Popular On Twitter Twitter Annoyances > read more

Author – Mike Pemberton

Published on 2012-02-17 03:00:23

I was born and raised in Normal, Illinois. As an adult I lived in Chicago and Dallas before returning to central Illinois and the small town of Hoopeston where my wife and I and our two kids have lived for … Continue reading � Related posts: Author – Martin Reaves Morley Winograd and Mike Hais : Millennial Momentum Author – K.C. Hilton Author – Debbi Mack > read more

Don’t Join The Sloppy Writer Brigade

Published on 2012-02-16 08:00:52

Writing is one thing, but preparing your writing for readers is another. With so many writers now being given the wonderful opportunity to publish their work, there are many who are either sloppy and lazy, or are lacking in the … Continue reading � Related posts: Being A Writer Are You A Writer? The Online Writer Are You A Writer? > read more

John A Burks, Jr. : Flesh Worn Stone

Published on 2012-02-16 03:00:50

Flesh Worn Stone Steven Alexander awakes from a drug-induced coma in a cage on a pristine tropical beach, his head covered with a burlap sack and numbers tattooed on his right arm. Besides his wife, Rebecca, he doesn’t know any … Continue reading � Related posts: Steven W. Ritcheson : The Breath of Allah Mark Ellis : Princes Gate Saffina Desforges : Snow White Author – Martin Reaves > read more

The KDP Select Experiment – One Month Later

Published on 2012-02-15 08:00:43

It is now one month since I enrolled three books in Amazon’s controversial KDP Select program. I approached this exercise with an open mind and have tried as best I can to measure the results based on the following six … Continue reading � Related posts: Amazon KDP Select – Yes Or No? Before You Desert Smashwords For KDP Select How Thick Is An Ebook? Free Ebooks – Do They Get Read? > read more

Mike Pemberton : Transcendental Basketball Blues

Published on 2012-02-15 03:00:30

Transcendental Basketball Blues Jack Henderson, a star basketball player, has it all. Loving mother, Mary Lou, is a great musician, father, Sam, a local hero. But when Jack starts high school, Mary Lou disappears. Diagnosed a paranoid schizophrenic, she spends … Continue reading � Related posts: Morley Winograd and Mike Hais : Millennial Momentum K.C. Hilton : The Magic of Finkleton Mark Ellis : Princes Gate Jodi Lea Stewart : Silki, the Girl of Many Scarves – Summer Of The Ancient > read more

Careful What You Tweet – Big Brother Is Watching You

Published on 2012-02-14 08:00:04

It’s very easy to forget as we lie back on our sofas with our laptops, iPads and smart phones, Tweeting and Facebooking away that we are being continuously monitored. Unaware of the possible consequences of out little text exchanges. As … Continue reading � Related posts: Social Media – Don’t Bank On It Fed Up With Social Media Virtual Events – The Latest Pain Social Media Automation – What Is Acceptable? > read more

Douglas Wickard : A Perfect Husband

Published on 2012-02-14 03:00:13

A Perfect Husband An abandoned cabin… a diabolical killer… a hidden cemetery. A deadly secret is about to be uncovered. Far from the neon blur of Manhattan—the dizzy buzz of restaurants, theater openings and one too many cocktails—located seventy-two miles … Continue reading � Related posts: Mark Ellis : Princes Gate Author – Martin Reaves Cynthia Woolf : Centauri Midnight, Book 3 Centauri Series Elisabeth Storrs : The Wedding Shroud > read more

Twitter - The Social Media Thug

Published on 2011-07-05 09:00:11

For many authors and publishers, Twitter has become a useful and increasingly important tool in marketing ebooks in particular. Whether it be by social interaction, new blog notifications, links to book reviews or direct linking to your book in the K > read more

Said Harry Potter - Harry Potter Said

Published on 2011-07-04 09:00:08

Dialogue tags must be the most written about and discussed structure in a writer’s grammatical toolbox. One that I haven’t mentioned before as I didn’t want to join the long and probably never ending debate.However, after getting cl > read more

Have You Noticed The Trend?

Published on 2011-07-03 09:00:01

As a long time Twitter user, I have been through all the trending fads from ‘Whiter Teeth’ to ‘Free Spectacles’ and ‘Penis Enlargement’. But in recent months two trends have disturbed me in their ferocity. Justin B > read more

Carve The Roast – With A Spoon?

Published on 2011-07-02 08:53:15

Now I know many of you like my odd little recipes I post in here from time to time, but this one is a really special. When my wife told me she was cooking a lamb shoulder roast for dinner, I was very pleased indeed. When I discovered how she intended > read more

Vandalism Too

Published on 2011-07-01 13:22:27

Vandalism Too. A great little title for a sequel edition to Vandalism of Words methinks. Of course my first thought was Vandalism 2, but then I got a bit lost and started playing with II, to, two, to, too, tu, tutu, deux and twice. In the end my spel > read more

5 Things That Annoy Me (Part 3)

Published on 2011-07-01 11:18:36

It’s been a while since I posted part two in this, what was never intended to be series of moans, whinges, complaints and petty nitpicking, but what the hell, I enjoy it. It gives me a form of release and relief to get these little nasties of my ch > read more

The MacDonald’s Vampire

Published on 2011-07-01 11:18:35

I have been asked numerous times why I don’t write in popular genres such as romance, paranormal, vampire, urban fantasy or stories that involve wizards and pixies. Well, the honest answer is that I am just plain hopeless at it. But in an attempt t > read more

The Box

Published on 2011-06-29 08:36:19

When you mention ‘The Box’ to many, they may immediately think about television. But not to a cricketer. Now I know many of my readers aren’t familiar with cricket, so I won’t go into the complexity of the Laws of Cricket or any of the many c > read more

What Is A Portmanteau?

Published on 2011-06-28 09:00:09

When I formed my publishing company (Portmanteau Press LLC), I was shocked and appalled that I received the following question from numerous people (my CPA, the lady at the bank, my mother!): what is a portmanteau? Now, I feel the need to educate pe > read more

Today’s Author - The Sake Oil Salesman

Published on 2011-06-27 09:05:36

It’s a horrid thing to say but authors are having to become their own sales and marketing department these days. I’m not just talking about independent authors here as even those represented by agents and publishers, big and small, are out there > read more

Ebook Piracy

Published on 2011-06-26 09:00:05

After finally and begrudgingly accepting ebooks as a fact of life now, I though I would do a little investigation into the free ebook market. Now by free I don’t mean free as in the price being free. I mean free as in that a copyrighted book has be > read more

The Hair Report

Published on 2011-06-25 09:00:04

A little overdue, but here is an update on my recent hair experiment. You may recall in April I wrote a post titled ‘Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow’, about my recent haircut boycott.Well, old age certainly has not induced baldness in my case. > read more

On Being Literary

Published on 2011-06-24 09:00:16

When I was little I read, I read a lot. I didn’t care what I was reading, so long as I could turn the pages and devour a good story, I was happy. And then, I don’t remember when exactly, I somehow came by the notion that to show I was i > read more

10 Tips and Tricks

Published on 2011-06-23 09:00:04

Have you noticed that ‘10 Tips and Tricks’ has become one of the most searched for phrases on the Internet? From Apple to Zombies, there are tips and tricks for all manner of topics and interests. Well, in keeping with my tradition of avoiding an > read more

Fried Fish. Fried To Death!

Published on 2011-06-22 10:55:07

Now, what can you do with a couple of ordinary looking fish? Fry them for a very, very long time. Believe it or not, this recipe delivers the most moist and juicy fish you’ve ever tasted. It’s just that before you get around to eating it, it seri > read more

Brainman

Published on 2011-06-22 07:45:52

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. - Arthur C Clarke What will the future hold for humanity? Bald heads. > read more

Get HAL And Get A FREE Friend

Published on 2011-06-22 01:09:32

What are friends for? Well in HAL’s case, they are for joining him on your Kindle. For a limited time (of course) any Vandal Blog reader who orders a Kindle version of HAL, will be eligible to receive one of his friends for free. His frien > read more

5 Topics That Should Be Banned From The News

Published on 2011-06-21 08:25:54

As most people do, I like to scan the news with my breakfast and catch up on the events of the day. Not so long a go, I did this with something that was called a newspaper and was, believe it or not, delivered by a man at 5.30 in the morning. However > read more

Kindle Kaper Kops

Published on 2011-06-20 09:00:13

This will be my last rant about anything Amazon for a while. I don’t want to bore the pants off my readers. However, a couple of nasty little issues have come to the surface over the last few weeks that have really bothered me and for those of > read more

Written A Book Lately?

Published on 2011-06-20 04:00:08

The further you journey into the world of literature, the more you become aware of just how ‘bitchy’ so-called armchair critics can be. To the average avid reader the aforementioned notion doesn’t even enter their minds as they are happily draw > read more

Out Of Hiding

Published on 2011-06-19 08:15:22

Although I run my mouth (well, typing fingers actually) almost every day here on my blog, I must tell you that I am actually a very shy, retiring and quiet fellow really. In many ways, the complete antithesis of The Vandal who pens every post in this > read more

Trust Amazon - But Is It Amazon?

Published on 2011-06-18 08:53:46

So you probably thought that when you buy from Amazon, you are buying from Amazon. Well, how wrong you are. As an independent author living in Switzerland, I use a US publisher for my books. (Not e-books. Different sorry saga.) The publisher is a su > read more

A Viral Vandal Update

Published on 2011-06-18 05:26:22

All I can say is Wow! ‘Vandalism of Words’ has gone stupidly viral on Kindle. Well, being FREE helps, but who cares? Copies are flying out all over the world on Kindles as such a rate the book has hit #1 in humor bestsellers. Well, it jumps up an > read more

The Indie Route

Published on 2011-06-17 14:50:00

You’ve probably all read those funny posters about Mothers being taxi drivers, doctors, referee’s, therapists etc etc. Well I’ve been thinking of making one of my own about Indie Authors. The assumption [and believe me I’m coming to learn it > read more

The Vandal Hits Number One!

Published on 2011-06-17 07:01:20

Shhh. It's a secret. The big news of the day just has to be that my book ‘Vandalism of Words’ has hit the number one spot on Kindle bestsellers for Humor. Hard to believe that an act of literary vandalism has risen to such dizzying heights of f > read more

The Amazon UK Fiasco (aka Totally F**k*d Up)

Published on 2011-06-17 02:36:50

This I just have to tell you. One of my prospective readers in Scotland sent me a message saying she couldn’t buy my books from amazon.co.uk. Well come one, don’t be silly – all my books are available on Amazon. Ooops. How wrong I was. Sure, i > read more

The Big One Offs

Published on 2011-06-16 09:58:49

I stumbled across a silly fact I wasn’t aware of today, but probably should have been. Oscar Wilde only wrote one book: The Picture of Dorian Gray. So off I went in search of similar ‘one offs’ and of course ended up completely lost in lists of > read more

People Watching

Published on 2011-06-15 09:00:03

I'm not much for giving advice to other writers, however, as I develop my next book I've fallen into a comforting habit I find remarkably useful in bringing characters to life. And if your not a writer its simply fun if you have nothing to do. People > read more

Who Killed All The Cowboys?

Published on 2011-06-14 09:09:34

Where have all the cowboys gone? My dear old dad would be rolling in his grave now if he knew that television and movies had abandoned them all. A good western movie, TV program or paperback were my dad’s absolute favourite entertainment. So much s > read more

Got A Kindle? Get In Quick!

Published on 2011-06-14 04:47:50

Vandalism of Words A quick little announcement. Get in quick! Amazon have today made my book ‘Vandalism of Words’ FREE for US Kindle users. So get in quick and grab a copy before they revert it back to a paid ebook. Click here > read more

A Taste of HAL

Published on 2011-06-13 08:24:05

HAL For those of you who may not have heard, I’ve published a new book. Now don’t go rushing off to Amazon looking for a book written by ‘The Vandal’. The book, HAL, is written by my ‘aka’, Derek Haines, who you will find on Amazon. Any > read more

There Should Be A Law Against That

Published on 2011-06-12 07:59:10

There are some crimes our legislators are continually ignoring, and I really believe the following misdemeanours should be added to the Criminal Code with immediate effect. Any person or persons ensconced in a supermarket check out queue who dart of > read more

Books and Literary Snobs

Published on 2011-06-11 07:13:21

Since the emergence of the internet, online publishing and the plethora of books now available to us in the world of books, a second disturbing breed has emerged – the literary snob. While thanks to small press and self publishing, it is true that > read more

Let Be Be Finale of Seem

Published on 2011-06-10 08:53:56

Late on a Thursday afternoon I was scheduled to have a root canal. I’d never had one before and was hardly looking forward to the experience. Turns out it really wasn’t bad at all. Next day I was leaving campus when I encountered a colleague comi > read more

The Newbies Idiot Guide To Twitter

Published on 2011-06-09 07:50:59

If you’re new to Twitter, it usually takes some time to get your head around it. I know it took me five attempts over about six months before I got going. So here’s a few little hints that might help you enjoy Twitter sooner. Twitter is textin > read more

The Confidence Man and Me

Published on 2011-06-08 09:01:03

Years ago, I came across a copy of Herman Melville’s final novel, ‘The Confidence Man’. The description on the back told me about a strange character that had boarded a steamboat headed for New Orleans. This man changed shape, and his motives w > read more

How To Write A Book

Published on 2011-06-07 09:00:01

I was reading Stephen King’s ‘On Writing’ for about the unteenth time recently and it occurred to me that although a great read and full of wisdom, it might be a bit long for those who want to get a book out super fast on Amazon. So I thought I > read more

Why An Apple Freak Bought A Kindle

Published on 2011-06-06 08:59:33

No Books iBooks As a long time devotee of absolutely anything and everything Apple, I have a very sad admission to make. It hurts and seriously pains me to write this post and make my sad confession, but …... I have bought a Kindle. I can hear y > read more

5 Things That Annoy Me (Part 2)

Published on 2011-06-05 09:24:21

Such was the response to my first posting about what annoys me, I’ve decided to vent my spleen on another five outrageously infuriating nudniks or thingamabobs that really tick me off. With the benefit of hindsight there are a couple here that real > read more

Are You Tough Enough To Be Indie?

Published on 2011-06-04 09:02:38

In days not so long past – well only a year or two ago – being an indie author meant getting your books printed and shipped and then flogging them as best you could at local book stores, coffee shops, tearooms, markets, writer groups or evenTuppe > read more

Stylish Blogger Award

Published on 2011-06-03 08:24:02

Now I have to tell you that I was totally shocked yesterday. Jody Ruth very kindly nominated me for … wait for this …. The Stylish Blogger Award ! Anyone who knows me would immediately grasp the shock value here as the word ‘stylish’ is > read more

Past Future

Published on 2011-06-02 09:00:10

As a kid I was in awe of Dick Tracy’s watch phone. It was something so futuristic and wondrous, so, well, high tech – even though the word didn’t exist back then. It was probably before the only high I can remember, which was high fidelity ster > read more

5 Things That Annoy Me (Part 1)

Published on 2011-06-01 08:39:32

Once I completed my little list below, I had such a glowing sense of the therapeutic value of relieving myself of them that I had to go back up to the title and add, ‘Part 1’, as it gives me a great excuse to return to this topic again in the nea > read more

Who Is The Vandal?

Published on 2011-05-31 08:52:44

As some regular readers may know, this blog is written by me, The Vandal. A mystery man to many and known by only a very few. As opposed to my overt and shamelessly commercial ‘aka’, Derek Haines, I struggle with the concept of seriousness. Now > read more

Wrangling Writing Contests

Published on 2011-05-30 10:00:02

For me, May signals a time to focus on the business side of writing. With my semester winding down here in America, I have the time to research markets, create spread sheets—in other words, abandon the fluidity and near haphazardness that so of > read more

#kindleit

Published on 2011-05-29 08:03:35

#kindleit As you used to do in a book store. Thumb the first pages, look at the cover and read the blurb. Except now it’s an ebook, so #kindleit. With the sudden popularity of ebook reading and especially the Kindle, a whole new approach to not o > read more

Gloth Is Googeless

Published on 2011-05-28 08:10:59

An astonishing discovery was made by a Vandal reader. The planet Gloth has been censored by Google! Yes, I know that is hard to believe that such a remarkable feat of astronomical detective work by Derek Haines should be covered up. Either by glaring > read more

Steampunk

Published on 2011-05-27 08:21:58

Like a rocket landing in the eye of a full moon, steampunk as a genre has become a recent force in the publishing world. Books such as The Windup Girl, Behemoth, and Corsets & Clockwork are available on Kindle and Nook. There is a large following > read more

OK I Give In

Published on 2011-05-26 09:30:01

Times move so quickly and as the years pass I find changes seem to happen even faster and faster. This time last year I was concentrating my energy into writing books. You know, those things that were made of paper and had glossy covers. There were e > read more

Auntie Ajumma

Published on 2011-05-25 09:06:41

Many aspects of life in South Korea were difficult for me to understand. Among them, common restaurant behavior appeared rude to my Western sensibilities. “Ajumma!” A diner would shout. Ajumma means something like “older woman”, or to put a > read more

Do Not Read: This Is Blatant Self Publicity

Published on 2011-05-24 09:00:07

Now you’ve been warned!. If you don’t like publicity, advertising, selling, marketing or just plain unadulterated begging, STOP READING. Why not visit the CNN or BBC websites instead? Maybe the Onion News?…………& > read more

I'll Have Mine In A Mug Thanks

Published on 2011-05-23 10:00:08

Musings on Tea by Tony Healey - Today’s Guest BloggerIf you are cold, tea will warm you. If you are too heated, it will cool you. If you are depressed, it will cheer you. If you are excited, it will calm you - Gladstone, 1865Starting with th > read more

Finding Quality Ebooks (A follow up post)

Published on 2011-05-22 05:46:38

After all the comments and reactions to my article last week ‘Finding Quality Ebooks’, I thought a follow up post was in order as so much has happened since it was posted. Is this how fast things work in book publishing nowadays? Well anyway, at > read more

Bringing Books To Life

Published on 2011-05-21 09:00:04

In an endeavour to bring my books to life, I have been experimenting with various forms of book trailers. Although time consuming to put together, I find I am enjoying the challenge of learning yet another skill an author needs these days. How long a > read more

I’m Bald and I’m Proud

Published on 2011-05-20 09:42:15

Throughout the history of humanity, a large percentage of the male population have wound up bald. There is no shame in this; it’s merely a fact of nature. Many men however for reasons which totally escape me are ashamed of becoming bald. Personally > read more

Finding Quality Ebooks

Published on 2011-05-19 10:00:05

I must credit one of my blog readers with making me think about the quality standard of ebooks. It is no great industrial secret that some ebooks are very badly written and edited, but there are also many that are well written and great value. So how > read more

Only Women Read

Published on 2011-05-18 09:32:01

Ok, I stole the title pun from Alice Cooper. Blame my attention seeking tendency. But now I have your interest, no I don’t mean that all men are illiterate and have never opened a book in their collective lives. It’s just that I can’t help but > read more

A Man For All Wars

Published on 2011-05-17 09:25:28

I seem to have become addicted to videos lately. Well, rest assured, they take so long to create, I think I have reached my limit and will happily return to pen pushing now. In the meantime however, take a sip of your coffee, relax and have a little > read more

Amazing New Planet Discovery

Published on 2011-05-16 09:36:39

Evidence of Gloth. Hiding behind Jupiter. Sorry about the shadows. My iPhone's flash didn't work. While many of my readers will be familiar with my semi-skilled ability to scribble words down in a cunningly clever order, few may know that I have i > read more

HAL Comes Alive

Published on 2011-05-14 03:00:00

A very quick post for the very few that may not know that I have released a prequel to February The Fifth. HAL is a new Glothic tale with some new bad guys, new food to try and a new romance to sigh over. There is also a lot about Australia, beer, fr > read more

Milk The Words

Published on 2011-05-13 12:33:17

While reading a news article recently about dairy farming, I had one of those odd thought moments. It seemed to me that milk and words suffer a similar fate in the marketing process. They are both products that are at the very bottom of a long produ > read more

Real Mamma Mia Bolognese

Published on 2011-05-11 09:02:11

It’s been a while since I posted one of my tried and true Vandal recipes. So in response to the overwhelming number of requests I have had (well one, maybe two), let’s get cooking. I love simplicity because it makes things a whole lot easier and > read more

Adorable Alliterations

Published on 2011-05-09 09:17:51

My habitually horrid habit continues unfortunately. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to avoid adorable alliterations. It all started with mild mannered Milo Moon of course, and I blame him entirely for my current irresponsible idiosyncra > read more

Ten Years After

Published on 2011-05-07 07:29:10

It’s now ten years since I wrote and recorded this song, No Smiles, Big Tits, while living in Jerusalem during the second Intifada in 2001. As I was living on the Arab side, but within walking distance of the Jewish side of the city, I believe I ga > read more

A Very Old Fashioned Idea

Published on 2011-05-07 02:50:16

With my recent posts about the huge increase in the popularity of e-books, it seems as if my next piece of breaking news will only be of interest to the few remaining die hard spine crackers out there. For absolutely no logical reason whatsoever, I > read more

My Home Town

Published on 2011-05-06 09:28:43

Readers of my blog would already know that I like words. However, just for a slight change of pace today, I'd like to introduce you to my home town by other means. Well, nearly my home town. I live just outside of Geneva, but who's tracking me by GPS > read more

Are We Becoming Bookless? (Follow Up)

Published on 2011-05-06 03:32:45

Book or Ebook I have been astounded by the number of comments regarding yesterday’s post about books and ebooks. It certainly is a topic that has a number of factors at work and isn’t as simple as a preference for one or the other. In particu > read more

Are We Becoming Bookless?

Published on 2011-05-05 08:34:18

The Empty Library? I can’t help but noticing that the ratio of my book sales in the last twelve months has turned decidedly towards e-books. Looking back at my last year, sales have gone from 90% paperback last April to the exact opposite for Apr > read more

5 Cures For Writer’s Block

Published on 2011-05-04 08:49:15

I must say from the outset that I’m not a great believer in the writer’s block myth. There always seems to be something that needs jotting down, so what’s the fuss. This said, there are days when I find it difficult to get enough words in the b > read more

Habitual Collocations

Published on 2011-05-02 10:00:04

Collocations are a great idea really. No need to think too hard, and they make it so simple to become just another one of run of the mill. Some of the all time favourite collocations include ‘completely satisfied’, ‘excruciating pai > read more

Taking Submissions Now - If You Dare

Published on 2011-05-01 10:00:05

As some of you may know, I am currently writing a new book, so what's new huh? But his means that I have less time to devote to some of my other favourite projects, as my head is currently elsewhere, out there and possibly lost in space.In particular > read more

Have You Met HAL ?

Published on 2011-04-29 10:00:08

Have you noticed that when you meet someone for the first time, your immediate reaction is to make an instant like or dislike decision? This is how it felt for me when I met HAL. Albeit that he was English, extremely tall, clumsy and had a serious al > read more

Lost For Words

Published on 2011-04-27 08:19:48

I just couldn't help myself today. Enough words. Time for some cartoon action instead. Books By Derek HainesDerek's Vandal Blogwww.derekhaines.chDerek on Twitter > read more

Lard de Begnins

Published on 2011-04-25 07:58:08

I can recall the first time I tried Lard de Begnins, just a few days after I arrived in Switzerland over ten years ago now. My wife and I were staying at a friend’s house just a stone’s throw from a small butchery owned by Phillipe Grange. Althou > read more

Said Orquardly With Derek Haines

Published on 2011-04-22 05:18:00

Intrepid Reported Said Orquardly continues his series of interviews with Derek Haines, trying to establish the truth about the writer behind the stories.SO. It’s a pleasure to catch up with you again.DH. Ditto, I’m sure.SO. So, since we l > read more

#HASHTAG #HAL

Published on 2011-04-20 09:16:01

Now I’m sure this is going to sound like a load of #hogwash to those of you unfamiliar with the technicalities of a #Twitter #hashtag, and for those of you who are familiar it will be so boring, you may as well stop #reading now and come back in a > read more

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Published on 2011-04-18 09:56:33

I am in the process of conducting a unique experiment. One that seems to be annoying the hell out of my wife, but I will try to absorb her cutting remarks and keep up my will to see this through to the very end, or ends. Now any of you reading this > read more

Abject Laziness Under Threat

Published on 2011-04-15 09:41:06

As part of my ongoing mission to bring abject laziness to the front and centre of world debate, I recently introduced to you, and then fully exploited my furry little friend 'Slug' the three toed maned sloth in my endeavours to bring attention to my > read more

Flying

Published on 2011-04-13 10:00:07

I wrote this little poem so long ago. Then I wrote an instrumental piece of the same name. Somehow not matching these words at all. Well, that's me.FlyingOften seen as a romantic dream,A wish to escape and fly.To far distant places,Of cities and race > read more

How To Sell Books

Published on 2011-04-11 10:00:02

I just love ‘How To’ articles. There are millions of them floating around the ether of the internet. Some of my favourites include, ‘How to drink a martini’, ‘How to train your dragon’, ‘How to knit a hat&rsq > read more

Repeat After Me. Don’t Repeat

Published on 2011-04-08 09:49:39

This simplest way to send a reader sound asleep is by being repetitive. Not only by repetitive elements in the story, but by grammatical repetition. This is an easy trap to fall into, particularly in dialogue. Even four or five uses of ‘he said or > read more

Stuck In Subville

Published on 2011-04-06 10:00:16

Fate is a funny thing. We all have different perceptions of this phenomenon but we can probably all agree that sometimes it takes us places we didn’t plan on going. I personally have always felt that everything happens for a reason. So, while I > read more

I Know. It's An Algorithm

Published on 2011-04-04 10:00:04

I just adore words that I come across everyday, and have absolutely no idea whatsoever of what the word means. My current favourite has been 'algorithm'. While imagining a rhumba dancing pair of greenish-brown deep sea algae rocking the night away, I > read more

Apple Buys Microsoft And Amazon

Published on 2011-04-01 10:00:06

In a stunning announcement made earlier today during a routine earnings forecast conference call, Apple shocked Wall Street analysts and the markets by announcing it had finalised the purchases of not only Microsoft but Amazon as well.These acquisiti > read more

The Hell of Divorce

Published on 2011-03-30 10:00:01

Book Review by Mary Crocco of Dead Men by Derek Haines This is a story about the hell of divorce from the point of view of three men. They are angry, bitter, depressed, and lonely. They have lost their jobs, homes, and their children. Any money they > read more

There’s An iPad App For That

Published on 2011-03-28 10:00:01

One thing I have now taken for granted, is that my iPad can do whatever I want, whenever I want and wherever I want. All I have to do is go to the App Store and do a quick search, and bingo! Yes, someone had the idea before me and wrote an app. Every > read more

Beware The Danger

Published on 2011-03-25 11:00:02

I like reading statistics. They give me immense pleasure because you can learn so much from them and gain a better understanding of how things really can go in totally different directions to what you think is normal and rational. Collating rock soli > read more

Get In Quick Or Is It Quickly?

Published on 2011-03-24 11:00:19

Most often the expression is ‘from chocolates to boiled lollies’. Well, in this case it’s more like salted peanuts to black coffee. Yes, it 7 days, that’s one week, all my ebooks will revert from their February and March promotionally crazy p > read more

The Day Of The Sloth

Published on 2011-03-23 11:07:32

Some time ago, I wrote an epic piece promoting the idea of a World Day of Abject Laziness and how it could save the world. Since then however, I have had second and third thoughts about this noble plan and have decided to do some fine tuning to my id > read more

Have I Run Out Of Luck?

Published on 2011-03-21 11:00:08

Don’t you just hate it when you have ‘one of those days’? You know the kind of day that starts with a quick grab at the toilet paper roll and finding one last small piece hanging by a little bit of glue from the cardboard roll. Not > read more

iPad 2 Queues

Published on 2011-03-18 11:00:05

Right. I’ve made my decision to buy a new iPad 3 based on a number of telling Apple facts. One being that as the iPad 2 has just gone on sale and the queues at Apple Stores are now half the length of the distance to the moon, I won’t both > read more

A Book For A Coffee

Published on 2011-03-16 11:23:44

During the months of February and March, I have had a 99c sale on a good number of my e-book titles to celebrate the launch of February The Fifth. I decided to extend it to March as that is the name of February’s eldest brother. As this promotion c > read more

'February The Fifth': Doug Adams Meets Dan Brown -- Sorta

Published on 2011-03-16 03:28:32

Review: FEBRUARY THE FIFTH (CreateSpace 2010) Author: Derek Haines A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away ... no, that's a whole 'nuther movie. This book takes place in the future. In a place that has no less than 12 sun systems. Twelve, as in th > read more

New Release of Dead Men

Published on 2011-03-14 11:00:04

When is a new book a new book? Well in my case, my new e-book titled ‘Dead Men’ that I have released this week is in fact an old book that I was never happy with at all. Originally written in 1997, I have often flicked through the pages a > read more

It’s All About Character

Published on 2011-03-13 11:00:08

You have to know your main character almost as well as you know yourself. If not, your story will be missing a vital ingredient.With all the resources that are available on the internet, it is very easy for an aspiring writer, to be overwhelmed with > read more

Your First Book

Published on 2011-03-11 10:00:02

One important decision to make before writing your first book, or second or third for that matter, is to decide if it will be written in the first person or third person. I was typical of most when I wrote my first book. It was about me, so naturally > read more

Kindle And E-Books - The New Marketing Frontier

Published on 2011-03-09 10:00:16

The argument for why ebook readers should carry advertising - a new business model for booksellers and authors.There is no doubt that electronic book reading devices such as the popular Kindle and the very portable iPad have resulted in the e-book ac > read more

Are You A Writer

Published on 2011-03-07 10:00:02

The book publishing industry has been turned on its head in recent years with the advent of easily accessible and economical choices enabling authors to self-publish their works. Added to this has been the rapid increase in the popularity of e-books. > read more

February’s 99c March

Published on 2011-03-06 08:00:10

Following the success of the release of my latest book, February The Fifth, I’ve decided to lose the plot completely and have another 99cent e-book month for the whole of March. Why? Well I think it’s only fair that February’s broth > read more

Are Websites Redundant?

Published on 2011-03-04 08:10:01

In one word. Probably. Or if not, at least in an internet hospice on pain killing drugs. Social networking, blogs and instant interaction and feedback are making the old website look and feel a static and boring. Similarly with email. It is old and > read more

The Painful Part Of Writing

Published on 2011-03-02 10:00:20

No mattir what tipe of wryter you are, one of teh most painful aspects is that if proofreading. Even the shortest text con contain typos, grummar errors and missspellings. It as no surprise too know than editing and proofreading and entire novel can > read more

Blots

Published on 2011-02-28 10:00:00

My guest writer today is Claire King. This piece came about from a Twitter accident. Claire promised to write a short piece on any topic for her 2,000th follower. As it turned out, it was my February The Fifth account. So she asked me for a topic. Be > read more

42

Published on 2011-02-27 09:44:05

We all know that the number 42 is made famous in the novel The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is calculated by an enormous supercomputer over a period of 7. > read more

Easy Prefixes

Published on 2011-02-25 10:00:11

Inside is the opposite if outside. Logically. So, the opposite of hangover must be hangunder then? And the positive of disappointed is appointed? The 'un' and 'um' prefixes are easier though. Simply a matter of sound, phonetics and clear logic. An um > read more

Turdling Hurdles And Other Tasty Delights

Published on 2011-02-24 10:00:03

While endeavouring to become a rich and famous science fiction writer with my new book ‘February The Fifth’, it seems my penchant for gastronomy is hindering progress. Although I am honoured that so many readers have commented on some of > read more

10 Ways To Become Popular On The Net

Published on 2011-02-23 10:15:01

Everyone wants to be liked and be popular with a wide range of friends and acquaintances, so naturally this sense of self worth must extend to your life on the internet. As we all spend far less time face to face with our friends now, and far more t > read more

Shy Explorer Series: Asking the Experts by Judy Clement Wall

Published on 2011-02-21 11:00:07

I’m on a quest, asking the experts – people already in the industry – for publishing advice to writers…This week, I caught up with indie author (songwriter, singer, musician) Derek Haines to talk about the world of self-publi > read more

Password Please

Published on 2011-02-18 11:00:03

‘Please enter your password to login.’The new painIsn’t this the new bane of our lives nowadays? First of all, log in is a phrasal verb and has been cruelly de-spaced. Secondly. ‘What is my password for this crappy little site > read more

More great reviews for February The Fifth

Published on 2011-02-17 06:00:04

More great reviews continue to be published for February The Fifth. It makes a writer's day to get reviews, especially when they are as wonderful as these.By Mary Crocco This review is from: February The Fifth (Paperback)February The Fifth, is t > read more

Don’t Take My iPad Away

Published on 2011-02-16 11:00:09

Sad to say, but after now nearly nine months, my Apple iPad has become indispensable. When I bought it in May last year, I must admit I simply fell for the famous Steve Jobs charm and believed him when he said that we all now needed something between > read more

What Is It About Vampires?

Published on 2011-02-14 11:00:11

While looking through the vast number topics I have covered on my blog, I came across a remarkable omission. A check of my blog tags at around the letter V, revealed a horrendous gap. So I did a search of my entire blog and discovered that I had in f > read more

Egypt Exposes Two-Faced Western Democracy (Article)

Published on 2011-02-13 10:50:47

Egypt Exposes Two-Faced Western DemocracyFooling people for most of the time is becoming increasingly difficult for double-speaking politicians. The new printing press.Just as the invention of the printing press in the fifteenth century took power aw > read more

Free Writing For Making Millions

Published on 2011-02-11 11:00:07

The recent announcement of the sale of the Huffington Post to AOL should make every writer cringe at what internet entrepreneurs will, and are doing the the art of writing. They have created a market where writers are encouraged to write simply for t > read more

Shoot The Writer, Burn The Books

Published on 2011-02-09 11:00:00

Recent events around our wonderful world have shown that although times change, methods do not. As each revolution comes around in turn; normally by way of a repressed, unemployed and deprived population saying enough is enough, with a little help fr > read more

I Am Not

Published on 2011-02-07 11:00:06

While some may not know, I don’t have a reputation for positivity. This is not to say I don’t like positivity, it’s just that it isn’t as much fun. For one thing, positive sentences aren’t as long as short non-negative o > read more

It’s February The Fifth, 2011

Published on 2011-02-05 11:00:05

It seems to have taken forever, but the day has finally arrived. The alliterated date that was the seed that provided the inspiration I needed to start a whole new book. It is so long ago now, I cannot recall writing the first chapter.Finally though > read more

Banks!

Published on 2011-02-04 11:00:05

Banks!I see the gaunt unsmiling face of my neighbour every night,Trudging back from his day at work, struggling with all his might.To make a meek existence, to feed and clothe and house,His much beloved family, and his ever loving spouse.But as I gaz > read more

An Interview With Derek Haines

Published on 2011-02-02 11:00:07

With the release of his new book, February The Fifth, our reporter Said Orquardly tracked down Derek Haines for this exclusive interview.SO. How did you come to discover this hidden planet called Gloth?DH. It was strange really. I was actually lookin > read more

February The Fifth’s 99c February Kindle Surprise

Published on 2011-01-31 17:05:01

To celebrate the release of of my new book, February The Fifth, I’ve decided that not only Feb but also his friends Louis and Milo Moon will join together in the celebration.For the entire month of February 2011, February The Fifth and his frie > read more

The World Is Your Author

Published on 2011-01-31 11:00:04

Well, I know the title of this post is a nasty take on a famous expression, but in essence it is true. With the changes in publishing and the advent of self-publishing, online books, e-books and all manner of electronic reading possibilities, anyone > read more

Social Fun or Big Brother

Published on 2011-01-28 11:00:03

We all know how times have changed for the better. Instant communications have made it so much easier to keep in touch with our friends and families who have spread themselves all over the globe. Whether it be by mobile phone, Skype, Facebook, Twitte > read more

I Know Why Real Writers Have Cats

Published on 2011-01-26 11:00:10

So it is clear that I have to make a sad admission. I can’t be a real writer at all as I chose to have a dog as a pet. Ignoring all the best advice and forgetting the history of association with cats and writers, I went headlong into my pet pro > read more

February 5th? Another New Book?

Published on 2011-01-24 11:00:04

Oh ok, ho hum, yawn. Not another new book from Derek Haines I hear you say. Well, in fact yes. So let me get on with the mandatory self-promotion and trumpet blowing about it.It is titled February The Fifth and as you might gather, this date has some > read more

Author Interview - Derek Haines (Part II)

Published on 2011-01-22 11:00:02

Intrepid reporter Said Orquardly continues his interview with Derek Haines, author of the new book February The Fifth. Trying to discover who he really is... FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE PRLog (Press Release) – Jan 21, 2011 SO. Would you say > read more

Twitter Nationalized By US Government

Published on 2011-01-21 11:00:07

The popular Twitter social networking site has been taken over by the US government. A spokesman for the US department of Very Secret Stuff, Mr Winston Smith, confirmed the move was made under the Failed Business Model program and as a move to enhanc > read more

Back To The Future

Published on 2011-01-19 11:00:10

It may come as a surprise to learn that the English language contains some complexity. We are always told that it is a rather simple language as it has no masculine, feminine or neuter to worry about. Neither does it have special grammatical structur > read more

The Family Tree

Published on 2011-01-17 11:03:31

I wonder how many of us know our maternal great-grand mother’s maiden name. For that matter, I think I would have a problem remembering my wife’s maiden name. Unless you are a genealogy genius, it would surprise me if there are too many ‘family > read more

An Interview With Author Derek Haines

Published on 2011-01-15 11:00:01

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASEPRLog (Press Release) – Jan 12, 2011Reprint from http://februarythefifth.blogspot.com/With the release of his new book, February The Fifth, our reporter Said Orquardly tracked down Derek Haines for this exclusive > read more

My 2011 Crystal Ball - Part Two

Published on 2011-01-14 11:00:07

So here we go with the second half of my extensively researched and highly probable predictions for 2011. July: Barack Obama will undergo emergency surgery in preparation for his re-election campaign. After a full recovery, the world will be totally > read more

My 2011 Crystal Ball - Part One

Published on 2011-01-12 11:00:03

As every decent writer, thinker and idiot should do, I am going to stick my neck out and make some incisive predictions into what this New Year will hold. If economists, astrologers, philosophers and the rapidly reducing number of real ‘hack&rs > read more

Press Release

Published on 2011-01-11 02:32:37

Derek's Vandal Blog www.derekhaines.ch Derek on Twitter Derek's Author Page > read more

11 Things I Will Do in 2011

Published on 2011-01-10 11:00:02

> read more

Fun, Fun, Fun!

Published on 2011-01-07 13:56:20

Well how much fun can one have before the world comes crashing back to normality? Holidays, Christmas, trees, tinsel, gifts, food, family, friends, lazy days and an abundance of freezing weather. All too much really. Just how much happiness and joy c > read more