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Crap Joke of the Day™ #77
Published on 2012-05-02 09:30:40
Hello, crap joke fans. We hope you are well. We’ve become rather obsessed with the interweb of late. As regular Crap Joke of the Day™ readers will know, we recently launched a Pinterest board to showcase some of the finest … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #76
Published on 2012-04-24 10:39:28
Hark! Forsooth, we hath been enjoying the finest of Shakespearean pentameter today. We beseech you: join us, join us as we doth celebrate the bard’s day of birth. Yes, it seems the CJotD Shakespearean phrase generator® is a little off … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #75
Published on 2012-04-23 09:54:01
Welcome to Monday, crap joke fans. We hope you had great weekends. It’s been a fairly quiet Monday, although the rather hushed atmosphere was briefly interrupted this morning to celebrate the achievements of a member of the Crap Joke of … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #74
Published on 2012-04-19 11:00:45
After the drama and delight of smashing through the 100,000 visits barrier yesterday – and the celebratory drinks that followed – today’s CJotD will be necessarily brief. There are a few sore heads at HQ today. We’ve received particular praise … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #73
Published on 2012-04-18 10:27:08
Sound the claxons and crash the cymbals; bring forth a trumpet fanfare fit for prophets and kings. For CJotD has passed another milestone. Today we celebrate Crap Joke of the Day™ smashing through the 100,000 visits barrier. We now stand … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #72
Published on 2012-04-17 10:35:20
As you know, loyal reader, we here at Crap Joke of the Day™ are very much committed to the finest ‘so bad it’s good’ humour the written word has to offer. We primarily publish in English, although rumour at the … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #71
Published on 2012-04-16 10:12:23
Happy Monday, crap joke fans. We hope you had a good weekend. Today’s entry will be short and sweet but, before we progress to the hilarity, we’d like to take the opportunity to respond to some correspondence you’ve been sending … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #70
Published on 2012-04-13 09:18:33
A remarkable thing happened earlier this week. The Crap Joke of the Day™ caretaker – a 67 year old called George who has been with us since the very beginning – headed into work on Tuesday morning to open up … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ – Easter Sunday edition
Published on 2012-04-08 06:30:45
Happy Easter, fellow crap joke fans. You’re bearing witness to a world first: a special Easter Sunday edition Crap Joke of the Day™ . Of course CJotD isn’t a Christian organisation – we have no religious affiliation. We extend our … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #69
Published on 2012-04-05 10:00:35
As we approach the long Easter weekend, something of a carnival atmosphere has developed here at CJotD HQ. Unfortunately a surprise development threatened to overshadow the frivolity this morning. Crap Joke of the Day™ researchers – usually first into the … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #68
Published on 2012-04-04 09:24:59
We r gret t info m you – loyal cr p oke fan – that we h ve een suf e ing som tech ic l di iculti s here at rap oke of the ay™ HQ oday. Th p … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #67
Published on 2012-04-03 08:58:35
The team here at CJotD HQ breathed a monumental sigh of relief that yesterday’s Crap Joke of the Day™ received no complaints from fans, magazine mailing houses or osteopathy practitioners. In fact, it generally seems to have gone down pretty … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #66
Published on 2012-04-02 10:03:17
Following Crap Joke of the Day™ #65 – in which we clarified CJotD’s forthright stance on animal rights – we received widespread praise for our comeback after our much-criticised joke about dog interrogation. Unfortunately this praise was not universal. It … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #65
Published on 2012-03-30 10:54:49
In light of the vehement and stinging criticism yesterday’s crap joke received out there on the ‘tinterweb superhighway, we felt the need to take a moment to outline our complaints policy. We take all complaints and critical feedback extremely seriously. … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #64
Published on 2012-03-29 10:29:13
It’s been a bit of a non-day here at CJotD HQ, with the team somewhat going through the motions. Indeed a number of the staff even took extended lunch breaks to sit out in the sun (there’s a good spot … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #63
Published on 2012-03-28 10:52:31
Our chief exec’s ‘Back to the Floor’ exercise resumed today with him spending the morning with the CJotD recycling team. Readers of CJotD #59 will remember that ‘Back to the Floor’ was an internal engagement project that sees our leader … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #62
Published on 2012-03-27 10:19:40
This morning the CJotD supercomputer went into meltdown. The reason: it seems that yesterday afternoon’s post, which included an update on the lawsuit that threatens the very existence of Crap Joke of the Day™, troubled fans in every corner of … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #61
Published on 2012-03-26 09:02:17
Good afternoon fellow crap-jokers. As those of you who have been glued to Crap Joke of the Day™ over the past few weeks will know, we have been working under a cloud here at CJotD HQ. A dark, brooding, tumultuous-looking … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #60
Published on 2012-03-23 09:32:36
Would you believe it? CJotD is 60 today. Clearly 60 is a number of great significance. There are 60 seconds in a minute and, conveniently, 60 minutes in an hour. In a puzzling quirk of cosmic fate, 60 is a … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #59
Published on 2012-03-22 11:39:29
The CJotD ‘back to basics’ campaign continues here at HQ. Once fears that the initiative would lead to staff cutbacks were allayed at a hastily called company meeting, our people took the changes in typical good spirit and humour. To … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #58
Published on 2012-03-21 09:58:33
There has been some speculation on the interweb superhighway recently that Crap Joke of the Day™ has become distracted by external events. It is certainly true that yesterday we became a little excited at our mention in an international Australian … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #57
Published on 2012-03-20 09:33:16
First up today: an apology for the lack of a CJotD yesterday. As you’ll no doubt be aware, this past weekend saw the celebration of St. Patrick’s Day. Our head of IT – on the rota this week for web … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #56
Published on 2012-03-16 11:48:13
Welcome to Friday, crap joke fans. It’s been a relentless day here at Crap Joke of the Day™: not only have we been hard-pushed to release today’s two-line hilarity, we’ve also been swept up in the hysteria around the launch … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #55
Published on 2012-03-15 11:28:51
It’s an official ‘let your hair down day’ here at Crap Joke of the Day™ HQ. After some well documented issues recently, it’s been much-needed. The order to relax came from the very top following a rather unpleasant incident in … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #54
Published on 2012-03-14 11:46:44
It’s been a difficult few days here at Crap Joke of the Day™ HQ. Frayed tempers, sore egos and split personalities have led to a rather difficult atmosphere in the office. Recent developments have not been conducive to fine wordplay … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #53
Published on 2012-03-13 12:02:03
DUE TO AN ONGOING DISPUTE, ELEMENTS OF TODAY’S CRAP JOKE OF THE DAY™ HAVE BEEN WITHELD BY THE CJOTD LEGAL TEAM’S AUTOMATED BAD JOKE SCANOMETER©. DEPSITE THE BREVITY, WE REMAIN CONVINCED THAT THIS AFTERNOON’S CRAP JOKE BRINGS MIRTH OF THE … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #52
Published on 2012-03-12 10:48:31
As long-term followers of Crap Joke of the Day™ will know, we have always sought to be transparent about our corporate affairs. Never has this been more true than with our revelation about the real story behind the great CJotD … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #51
Published on 2012-03-08 09:50:33
It’s been a rollercoaster 24 hours here at CJotD. This time yesterday we were preparing excitedly for our 50th birthday celebrations. We were all expecting great things: the party committee had been planning the event for weeks. The early stages … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #50
Published on 2012-03-07 10:28:42
Sound the trumpets: CJotD turns 50 today. We are humbled to have reached this significant milestone. Without you, faithful crap joke fan, none of this would have been possible. We’ve been celebrating the remarkable achievement of our golden crap jokeaversary … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #49
Published on 2012-03-06 10:32:30
Welcome to Tuesday afternoon, crap joke fans. Today CJotD broadcasts from a rather damp and overcast London town. It’s been something of a mad house at Crap Joke of the Day™ HQ today. The party committee organising our 50th birthday … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #48
Published on 2012-03-05 10:09:49
After Friday’s sadness, mirth returned to CJotD today as we celebrated the birthday of one of our founding partners. Birthdays are a big affair here at Crap Joke of the Day™ HQ: party poppers at desks, chocolate cake, champagne and … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #47
Published on 2012-03-02 10:20:25
It’s been an emotional day here at CJotD. Long-term Crap Joke of the Day™ fans will remember joke #15, which was published on the same day we waved goodbye to one of our longest supporters who had been snapped up … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #46
Published on 2012-03-01 09:40:34
Remember the date: yesterday, Crap Joke of the Day™ made history. Off the back of a series of corking jokes since CJotD’s memorable comeback three weeks ago (not least highly-rated joke #43, a charming tale of one Dutch woman and … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #45
Published on 2012-02-29 09:49:10
Today’s CJotD, crap joke fans, falls on no ordinary occasion. Today, as you may or may not already know, is the 29th February. Famous for being the birthday of much celebrated Hungarian sprint canoer Katalin Kovács, observers of the Gregorian … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #44
Published on 2012-02-27 09:28:01
Welcome the first CJotD of the week, crap joke fans. And what a glorious day it is: surely it was precisely this sort of joyful day that inspired the naming of Sean Ryder’s new alternative rock band back in the … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #43
Published on 2012-02-24 09:27:22
Guten tag, meine Freunde! Hola, mis amigos! Bonjour, mes amis! That’s right, crap joke fans: Crap Joke of the Day™ has an international flavour today. In the run up to our 50th birthday celebrations, the CJotD measurement team have been … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #42
Published on 2012-02-23 11:11:01
Welcome to the end of Thursday, crap joke fans. You’ve done it – you’ve broken the back of the week. Four days done, just one full day to go. Whatever tales of work-based joy or hell this week has delivered, … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #41
Published on 2012-02-22 09:51:36
In suggesting that an announcement about the potential future for Crap Joke of the Day™ would be issued today, our editorial team overstepped the mark. Technically speaking, they also violated CJotD publicity protocol (chapter 3, point c) – action is … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #40
Published on 2012-02-21 11:00:57
An update. Last week, rumours of CJotD expanding into new comedy markets over-spilled into joke #36. Your humble editorial team has no new news to give you today, but we sniff an announcement in the air. Our guess is that … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #39
Published on 2012-02-20 10:55:39
Happy Monday, crap joke fans. We hope you had a good weekend. There was much excitement here at Crap Joke of the Day™ HQ this morning. The archive team was, as usual, first into the office. Flicking the lights on … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #38
Published on 2012-02-17 09:42:44
Happy Friday, crap joke fans! What a week it’s been. Just a week on from the tremendous re-launch of CJotD after a six month hiatus (oh how you suffered, faithful reader), we have both received rave reviews and come under … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #37
Published on 2012-02-16 09:30:59
We regret to inform you that the Crap Joke of the Day™ quality control team have today launched a stewards enquiry. This follows yesterday’s crap joke, which divided opinion. Some crap joke fans thought the joke was really rather good. … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #36
Published on 2012-02-15 10:07:31
It’s all happening today: the corridors, water coolers and stationary cupboards here at CJotD HQ are awash with rumour and hearsay. The gossip is that Crap Joke of the Day™ is considering moving into new comedy markets. Aggressive expansion, if … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #35
Published on 2012-02-14 09:50:48
Ah, it’s Valentine’s Day, crap joke fans: a day we all love and adore. With startling similarity to Crap Joke of the Day™, Valentine’s Day is a great institution devoted to passing pleasing messages to loved ones. And, like this … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #34
Published on 2012-02-13 10:27:59
Happy Monday, one and all. We hope your week is going swimmingly so far. And why wouldn’t it be? As promised during our heroic comeback Crap Joke of the Day™ on Friday, we’re back and here to stay. And now … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #33
Published on 2012-02-10 06:12:31
Don’t you just hate inconsistency? It’s been a while, fellow joke fans. Too long. But fear not, we are back. From here on in: it’s all change. No more excuses. Our CJotD editorial team will go into overdrive, doing all … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #32
Published on 2011-08-17 10:18:10
Welcome to the end of Wednesday, fellow crap jokers. ‘Tis a busy time here at CJotD headquarters. With the famous Crap Joke Generator® out of action (it was badly damaged in the great fire), we’ve been racking our brains to … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #31
Published on 2011-08-10 10:32:21
Since our last Crap Joke of the Day™, times in London have been troubled. CJotD HQ, just recently reopened for business after the great fire of April 2011, has been on lockdown. Whatever part of the world you’re from – … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #30
Published on 2011-08-08 10:25:33
Picture this. It’s 29 April, 1985. Oddly-spectacled Dennis Taylor has crumbled in the face of snooker-based genius Steve Davis, finding himself seven frames to none down in the final of the world snooker championships. Davis was on fire. He was … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #29
Published on 2011-04-21 09:24:07
Raise a glass – you’ve made it to the end of the week. Well, the end of the Crap Joke of the Day™ week at least – this will be the last CJotD until next Tuesday because of the Easter … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #28
Published on 2011-04-19 10:01:39
Keen followers of Crap Joke of the Day™ witnessed a world exclusive this morning: the launch of a new series of posts based on Friends® of CJotD. If you missed it, have a read of the first ever no-holds-barred interview … Continue reading &# > read more
New series of CJotD fan inteviews launches today
Published on 2011-04-19 04:54:30
Crap Joke of the Day™ is just 27 days old, but is already a phenomenon on the tinterweb superhighway. Zuckerberg is quaking in his boots; a queue of advertisers is forming at the oak-panelled CJotD door. But we’re not naïve … Continue read > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #27
Published on 2011-04-18 11:09:27
Good afternoon, crap joke fans. We are delighted today to preview an exciting CJotD launch. Tomorrow morning, Crap Joke of the Day™ will be launching a new series of posts. Posts based on you. In many ways, CJotD is less … Continue reading &# > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #26
Published on 2011-04-15 10:18:06
Welcome to the weekend, friends of Crap Joke of the Day™. This weekend will neatly punctuate a remarkable five days in the history of CJotD: five days that have seen more than their fair share of turmoil, exhilaration, despair and … Continue > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #25
Published on 2011-04-14 10:22:32
The best and most successful organisations know their audience inside out, and CJotD is no exception. Our in-depth CJotD enjoyment index survey© gets our customer relations team the most detailed and reliable insight on how to keep our jokes releva > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #24
Published on 2011-04-12 10:29:34
Despite the mystery of the Crap Joke of the Day™ logbook’s disappearance drawing to a close yesterday, we unfortunately haven’t seen the back of the police here at CJotD HQ. We have been officially charged with wasting police time, and R > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #23
Published on 2011-04-11 10:23:34
Welcome to another Monday, crap joke fans. Before we get to today’s joke, many of you have been asking for an update on the police investigation into the great crap joke logbook heist (the shameless act that took place way … Continue reading > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #22
Published on 2011-04-06 09:50:36
What a day it is at CJotD HQ here in London. The country’s capital is bathed in glorious sunshine – quite unfamiliar for this time of year. Clearly this is not a day to be slaving in the office over … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #21
Published on 2011-04-05 10:38:14
Good afternoon crap joke fans. Your humble Crap Joke of the Day™ team is in a bit of a quandary today, it must be said. As you will have read in previous issues of CJotD, our customer relations team has … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #20
Published on 2011-04-04 10:57:22
It’s Monday, crap joke fans: that most sobering of days. If Friday is the day for courage, hope and excitement, surely Monday is the day for melancholic reflection on quite where the weekend got to. But that isn’t the attitude … Continue re > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #19
Published on 2011-04-01 11:16:42
Crap joke fans: it’s Friday. And, for you lucky Crap Joke of the Day™ followers in those great isles of Britain, it’s also seventeen minutes past five. That means home time. Spring is certainly nearly upon us, and the cool … Continue read > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #18
Published on 2011-03-31 10:14:18
My word. Would you Adam and Eve it? Crap Joke of the Day™ is a 18 today. 18 itself is a remarkable figure. Of course it’s only semiperfect but, as the sum of the first three pentagonal numbers, is a … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #17
Published on 2011-03-30 10:57:26
We have been inundated with messages of support from our loyal followers following yesterday’s update on the investigation into the great CJotD joke logbook heist. Thanks to all those that wrote in: it would be no exaggeration to say that … C > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #16
Published on 2011-03-29 11:12:19
The Crap Joke of the Day™ customer relations team has been drowning in complaints following our failure yesterday to deliver on our promise to publish one crap joke every working day. We apologise for any inconvenience, pain or suffering caused, > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #15
Published on 2011-03-25 11:30:20
It’s been a sad and emotional day here at Crap Joke of the Day™ HQ. Today marks the last day in the office for one of the first people to join CJotD back in the early days. The person moving … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #14
Published on 2011-03-24 10:55:09
Crap Joke of the Day™ welcomes you, friend, to Thursday afternoon. As you’ll no doubt know, the late great magician and performer Harry Houdini would have celebrated his birthday today, had he lived to 137. Sadly Erik Weisz – for … Contin > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #13
Published on 2011-03-23 12:36:17
It’s 5.37, and Crap Joke of the Day™ is late. The CJotD team have readied today’s offering, but our Chief Executive wanted to first issue the following statement to loyal CJotD fans. “Please accept our most humble apologies for the … Co > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #12
Published on 2011-03-22 11:03:25
It’s been a long and arduous day, Crap Joke of the Day™ lovers. In little over two weeks, CJotD has amassed readers from all seven continents. Thousands of readers have flocked to its light-hearted merriment. Cult-like followings have been cultiv > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #11
Published on 2011-03-21 11:05:58
Happy Monday, crap jokers. The Crap Joke of the Day™ team hope the first day back at work is treating you well. It’s been a manic day here at CJotD HQ. Unfortunately the CJotD receptionist – usually the first into … Continue reading ͛ > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #10
Published on 2011-03-18 11:02:06
Wow. The second ever Friday Crap Joke of the Day™. Who would have thought that CJotD could come so far in such a short time? It’s a been a merry day here at CJotD HQ as the Crap Joke of … Continue reading → > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #9
Published on 2011-03-17 11:45:22
This week, Crap Joke of the Day™ hasn’t let you down: we’ve delivered some wonderfully terrible jokes. Yesterday, CJotD hit a yet another high as record numbers flocked to absorb the latest two-line hilarity. Last Thursday’s much criticised o > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #8
Published on 2011-03-16 11:05:34
First of all, crap joke fans, well done. You’ve almost made it through Wednesday: most of the week is now history. This week, the Crap Joke of the Day™ psychology team has been considering the perennial question: is laughter really … Contin > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #7
Published on 2011-03-15 12:24:36
What a day it’s been, crap joke fans. Disturbing stories from Japan, tales of ITV drama Midsomer Murders’ racism and rumours that the London 2012 countdown clock has failed have continued to flood the interweb. Scant consolation it may be, R > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #6
Published on 2011-03-14 11:57:57
Happy Monday, loyal crap joke fans. After a restful weekend, your dedicated Crap Joke of the Day™ team bounded back into the CJotD office full of renewed hope and vigour: proud of what it achieved last week, but determined to … Continue readi > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #5
Published on 2011-03-11 10:03:23
Yesterday’s Crap Joke of the Day™ caused ripples of laughter at CJotD headquarters, but received very mixed reviews in the outside world. The average reader star rating was just three stars. Crap Joke of the Day™ strives for excellence when > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #4
Published on 2011-03-10 10:33:48
It’s been twenty-four hours since the last Crap Joke of the Day™ offering: we earnestly hope that our last two-liner was of sufficient quality to ensure that you, esteemed reader, haven’t suffered any undue reduction in productivity, effectiven > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #3
Published on 2011-03-09 10:33:02
Phew. Relax – it’s that time again. After the launch of Crap Joke of the Day™ on Monday and yesterday’s eagerly anticipated follow-up, worrying times ensued for our IT department. As traffic to www.crapjokeoftheday.com soared yesterday aftern > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #2
Published on 2011-03-08 10:09:10
Orson Welles’ directorial triumph, Citizen Kane. Mary Shelley’s gothic masterpiece, Frankenstein. Jimmy Greaves’ barnstorming opening games for Chelsea, England, Milan or Spurs. The Clash’s first, and imaginatively titled, album The Clash (or > read more
Crap Joke of the Day™ #1
Published on 2011-03-07 10:50:11
Good afternoon, fellow crap-jokers, and welcome to the debut post on the new website of the world-famous Crap Joke of the Day™. You can read all about Crap Joke of the Day™ (or CJotD as it has become known to … Continue reading → > read more