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Proud to Be An American
Published on 2012-05-25 19:00:40
Greatest country on earth, I’m tellin’ ya. US Flag Etiquette The flag should not be used as part of a costume or athletic uniform, except that a flag patch may be used on the uniform of military personnel, fireman, policeman and members of patriotic organizations. {Source} $52. Flag desecration at no extra charge. Not the [...] > read more
Well, that’ s gonna make it hard to change diapers
Published on 2012-05-25 10:19:33
Yes, very artistic and skilled. Also? Freaky as hell. {Source} $1200. Nightmares thrown in for free Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! GIVEAWAY!GIVEAWAY!: Cozies, Done Craftastrophe Style (NSFW) > read more
Good on Pastrami
Published on 2012-05-22 18:10:22
Is that pink Swiss cheese around your neck, or did your scarf get eaten by very large, precise termites? The title lists “prom wedding bridesmaid.” Imagine: 1. What a social outcast you would be if you wore this to prom 2. What the wedding would look like where this was fashionable. There would be juggling, [...] > read more
There Be Dragons
Published on 2012-05-19 08:50:36
When I saw this, I yelled “NOOOOOOOO!” This stuff is not coming back, is it? Look, I lived through the 1960s (well, I was a little kid) and it WAS NOT PRETTY. Do not go back there, kids. I beg of you. Those fashions are what made people use all those drugs. They did it [...] > read more
Holy Snacksifix
Published on 2012-05-17 18:53:19
Not for use in exorcisms unless you want the demons to laugh at you. {Source} $25, eternal salvation not included Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! GIVEAWAY!GIVEAWAY!: Cozies, Done Craftastrophe Style (NSFW) > read more
Need a Hug?
Published on 2012-05-17 08:06:50
Come here, give me a hug. A BIG hug. {Source} $21 I’l buy – but you owe me a sushi dinner Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! GIVEAWAY!GIVEAWAY!: Cozies, Done Craftastrophe Style [...] > read more
You Felt What?
Published on 2012-05-16 08:02:36
do_sud_thumb("http://img2-ec.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.312524766.jpg","You Felt What?") When I said I wanted some jewelry that was ladylike, this wasn’t what I was thinking. Felt Vagina Vulva Brooches Here they are! These felt brooches are all one of a kind and unique, no two are alike (just like real vaginas!). Thanks to alert BlogMother Karen for this one. {Source} $5.00 [...] > read more
I Don’t Think That’s a Dog…
Published on 2012-05-14 17:30:43
do_sud_thumb("http://","I Don’t Think That’s a Dog…") Um, what? Rhodesian Ridgeback pendant made like my wife said to.No two are alike(hand made).Convo me for special requests.Roki Shoals ridgeback(sofa sluts) used for models.They will lay w/anyone. Ok, so THIS explains everything. {Source} $35 and a lifetime of explaining to do. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! [...] > read more
What to wear on the second date if you don’t want a third
Published on 2012-05-10 08:00:39
do_sud_thumb("http://img2-ec.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.335839034.jpg","What to wear on the second date if you don’t want a third") Barbie shoes bracelet. In festive colors. {Source} $12 and you’ll be home in time for Game of Thrones. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: [...] > read more
“But you SAID…”
Published on 2012-05-09 10:57:58
do_sud_thumb("http://img2-ec.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.187036762.jpg","“But you SAID…”") Stalker invitation pantyhose. {Source} $23 plus filing costs for the restraining order. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! GIVEAWAY!GIVEAWAY!: Cozies, Done Craftastrophe Style (NSFW) > read more
Get a job. No, a better job.
Published on 2012-05-08 17:34:25
do_sud_thumb("http://","Get a job. No, a better job.") Fingernail hoarding box, topped with real fingernails. I am a man who has reached his last resort of selling fingernails on the internet. With your generosity, I am hopeful that a man armed with a heap-o-debt, a low to average level of intelligence, and no marketable skills, can [...] > read more
Were you in an industrial accident, or are you getting married?
Published on 2012-05-07 12:37:11
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.334569192.jpg","Were you in an industrial accident, or are you getting married?") These were featured on Etsy’s home page: Bridal mittens? They look like these wrist guards I used to wear when my carpal tunnel syndrome was acting up. Of course, mine were “flesh” (if you’re a kind of dark tan white person) colored and involved [...] > read more
Things Not to Put in Your Carry-on Baggage
Published on 2012-05-06 11:01:55
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.332819200.jpg","Things Not to Put in Your Carry-on Baggage") Soap on a rope, or airport-clearing novelty item? Also handy for giving the combat veterans in your life a jolt of PTSD. {Source} $10 and several years in a Supermax prison Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch [...] > read more
Friends Don’t Let Friends Be Humiliated
Published on 2012-05-05 09:07:50
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.334597368.jpg","Friends Don’t Let Friends Be Humiliated") Whether it’s a first birthday or a 50th birthday all birthdays are special. Why not make it extra special with a keepsake party hat. Because if you do, I will kill you. That’s why. Middle age is full of its own humiliations. I don’t need anyone to add to [...] > read more
Riiiiiight
Published on 2012-05-04 09:00:19
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.277192294.jpg","Riiiiiight") One way to tell the world that there’s no way you’re over him? {Source} $4. I recommend a spa weekend with your besties instead. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! GIVEAWAY!GIVEAWAY!: [...] > read more
Audience Poll
Published on 2012-05-02 08:15:53
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.283710688.jpg","Audience Poll") Cute, or creepy? {Source} $17, and the chance that you will forget the baby outside in a tree and will have to deal with Child Protective Services for the next 5 years. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman [...] > read more
In Case You Were Lamenting a Lack of Bling in the World
Published on 2012-05-01 10:01:41
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.333375561.jpg","In Case You Were Lamenting a Lack of Bling in the World") The price is one pcs.There are two colors (blue/pink ) in the selected one. Please tell me what kind of color need to ship, thank you! Wait, the price is $99. Does this mean the two shown are $198? It must be. Because [...] > read more
“Cuff” has several meanings
Published on 2012-04-30 10:53:21
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.46861095.jpg","“Cuff” has several meanings") If I spot you wearing this felted cuff, I will feel compelled to cuff you upside the head. My hatred of all things felted continues unabated. {Source} $25, but you can use it to wipe your nose and save on Kleenex. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES [...] > read more
You Shouldn’t Have
Published on 2012-04-29 08:40:12
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.222780109.jpg","You Shouldn’t Have") This is suggested as a baby shower gift, to be used as a garden decoration. Isn’t the last thing a hugely pregnant woman needs is a visual reminder that she’s hugely pregnant? Just wondering. {Source} $40, but a gift card to Target would be nice, too. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES [...] > read more
Lookie Here
Published on 2012-04-28 09:35:13
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.329531917.jpg","Lookie Here") This bracelet is perfect for your dream wedding. Your dream ZOMBIE wedding. {Source} $120. Not found at Tiffany. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! GIVEAWAY!GIVEAWAY!: Cozies, Done Craftastrophe Style (NSFW) > read more
Something For the Bronies
Published on 2012-04-27 09:57:47
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.184501703.jpg","Something For the Bronies") The perfect gift for Brony with a gross sense of humor. If you don’t know what a Brony is, I’m sorry to have to tell you that this is a real thing: a grown-ass man with an obsession for My Little Pony. Yep. So this is titled “The Fart Particles of [...] > read more
Let Us Now Be Afraid of Famous Men
Published on 2012-04-26 08:56:29
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.241082627.jpg","Let Us Now Be Afraid of Famous Men") George Carlin, looking PISSED. I don’t think I’d want to share my home with him. {Source} Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! GIVEAWAY!GIVEAWAY!: Cozies, [...] > read more
Because nothing says holidays like a controversial political statement
Published on 2012-04-25 08:19:25
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.290492543.jpg","Because nothing says holidays like a controversial political statement") Dick Cheney as a jailbird. Hanging on your tree. That’s sure to cause hours of family merriment. {Source} $100 marked down from $150. This is a collector’s item, folks. But my neighbor collects old tires in his back yard, so I guess collecting is in the [...] > read more
From the “What Not to Wear on A First Date” Collection
Published on 2012-04-24 08:14:54
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.304007997.jpg","From the “What Not to Wear on A First Date” Collection") Welcome, time-wasting attorneys! Don’t listen to the ABA – you can TOTALLY bill this. Just not to me. (Sorry today’s post is pretty boring. It will be better, I swear) (not in a legal sense. Just a colloquial swearing sense.) Because it is ugly, [...] > read more
If You’ve Got ‘Em, Flaunt ‘Em. Or Cover Them. Whatever.
Published on 2012-04-22 21:01:32
do_sud_thumb("http://","If You’ve Got ‘Em, Flaunt ‘Em. Or Cover Them. Whatever.") I love these. These nipple-shaped pasties were designed to defeat Facebook’s anti-nipple-photo policy. Click thru to see uncensored version. {Source} $28.95 and the freedom to walk topless on the beach in the USA Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: [...] > read more
Lazy Sunday
Published on 2012-04-22 09:06:35
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.323494656.jpg","Lazy Sunday") I can’t decide. Craftastrophe – yes or no? Part of me thinks this is cool. The other part is somewhat horrified at the thought of having to keep it clean. Cast your votes. {Source} $1275, which is what may have pushed me over the edge. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES [...] > read more
The Couch of Many Colors
Published on 2012-04-21 08:57:13
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.321903411.jpg","The Couch of Many Colors") It’s festive…it’s arty…it’s…like something someone in my neighborhood would put out on the lawn. Minus the dingle balls. I don’t think I have ever seen dingle balls on any furniture around here. Bonus: it clashes with everything in equal proportions. {Source} $4500. I think I’ll just staple some beach towels [...] > read more
Happy Pothead Day!
Published on 2012-04-20 11:28:44
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.323894850.jpg","Happy Pothead Day!") Happy 4-20, the day we celebrate all things marijuanariffic. Or haven’t you noticed that your teens are always saying to their friends “I’ll meet you at 4:20″? Marijuana leaf shaped chocolate pops Don’t ask me how 4-20 got to signify pot use. I think it has something to do with earth day, [...] > read more
Braintree Mass
Published on 2012-04-19 08:13:50
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.321378363.jpg","Braintree Mass") This shop is full of awesome. Go find the Meerkat sisters, for instance. But this is so …um….aaaah….I can’t even compose a sentence. {Source} $25 and a lifetime of nightmares Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail [...] > read more
I Have a Sinking Feeling
Published on 2012-04-18 09:49:02
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.316537445.jpg","I Have a Sinking Feeling") I wonder if this Titanic commemorative tea is extra bitter? The Titanic Commemorative Collection presents, “Lost at Sea” ~ This sophisticated blend pays homage to those brave souls lost on the maiden voyage of the Titanic, April 14, 1912. The base tea of Ice Wine Black with rock sugar crystals [...] > read more
Yeah, but does it go with the curtains?
Published on 2012-04-17 08:11:59
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.277318655.jpg","Yeah, but does it go with the curtains?") I work in an industry with a high BS factor. The writing I wade through every day would make junior high school English teachers weep with rage. But, as it turns out, I got nothin’. Using the combination of color & language, I involved cultural and personal [...] > read more
Pompon? I thought you said “Tampon”
Published on 2012-04-15 23:25:39
do_sud_thumb("http://www.etsy.com/listing/97316946/army-olive-greens-pompom-scarfonly-one?image_id=327830443","Pompon? I thought you said “Tampon”") It’s a scarf. Or feminine supplies on a rope. Whichever you need. {Source} $15 or 50 cents each section from the vending machine in the ladies’ room PS This woman’s shop has some really beautiful things in it. I’m looking at a scarf or two for myself… Not the [...] > read more
One step beyond Portlandia
Published on 2012-04-15 09:47:05
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.282963669.jpg","One step beyond Portlandia") You’ve seen the genius of Portlandia’s “Put a Bird on It,” haven’t you? It’s a must for all crafty types: If you can’t bring yourself to put a WHOLE bird on it, settle for the next best thing: bird parts! {Source} $40 and a date with a biker dude These are [...] > read more
Wait, Weight
Published on 2012-04-14 20:12:49
do_sud_thumb("http://","Wait, Weight") I want to go eat a carton of Chubby Hubby just so I DON’T end up looking like this miserable little bony wretch. And I don’t even LIKE Chubby Hubby. This slimming fridge magnet is designed to reduce the excessive amount of trips to the fridge. Whilst it does not claim any magical [...] > read more
The Babies in Bow Ties Saga Continues
Published on 2012-04-13 09:22:44
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.285546828.jpg","The Babies in Bow Ties Saga Continues") I just had to share this, given the post of the other day about babies in bow ties: more proof that babies hate them. Look at this kid – he doesn’t even have to use his words to tell it like it is! Little man is mad! Little [...] > read more
Sweet Dreams
Published on 2012-04-11 18:01:00
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.122779325.jpg","Sweet Dreams") This shop is full of horrors, but this one is my favorite – a screen-printed eye mask: But on the other hand, it might have a practical use: say someone breaks into your home, intent on nefarious purposes. You pop up from bed wearing this. Poof! Intruder is OUT OF THERE (and will [...] > read more
Help a poor old spinster out
Published on 2012-04-10 17:58:16
do_sud_thumb("http://","Help a poor old spinster out") Is this a doll thing or a real baby thing or what? And if it is a real baby thing, why does a baby need a bow tie? Do you really want to take the chance on strangling a baby with something pointless? Or am I just a neurotic [...] > read more
Hot Off the Griddle
Published on 2012-04-08 22:48:52
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.258211941.jpg","Hot Off the Griddle") A bacon merkin and egg pasties. Suitable for all of your IHOP fantasy play. {Source} $30 and all the coffee you can drink. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES [...] > read more
AND THEN I DRANK ALL THE COFFEE!!!!
Published on 2012-04-08 09:41:28
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.303137764.jpg","AND THEN I DRANK ALL THE COFFEE!!!!") This is one wired, wide-awake wiener dog! {Source} $50 and 10 trips in a row through the Starbucks drive-thru Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! [...] > read more
Have you ever SEEN a rabbit?
Published on 2012-04-07 16:48:45
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.324089525.jpg","Have you ever SEEN a rabbit?") It doesn’t look that bad from afar. But up close…it gives me the shudders. Those damaged-looking nipplish eyes. The lack of color. This is one for my nightmares. {Source} Around $29 US and a box of Ambien Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: [...] > read more
Ok, But I’m Not Eating Those Eggs
Published on 2012-04-06 08:21:34
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.323657757.jpg","Ok, But I’m Not Eating Those Eggs") Have you ever noticed that those mall Easter Bunnies always look fully demented? Maybe Fred is in homage to the fine tradition of dressing your kid up, taking them to the mall, and scaring the hell out of them. {Source} $45 but don’t take candy from him Not [...] > read more
The other version has rabbit’s feet
Published on 2012-04-05 08:09:13
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.278795228.jpg","The other version has rabbit’s feet") Just in time for Easter: your lucky crucifix. Go ahead, point out the swastika-ish thing going on, too. I know you want to. {Source} $34.95 and all the luck you can handle. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label [...] > read more
Next up? Flying Monkey Wallpaper
Published on 2012-04-04 08:05:08
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.279475506.jpg","Next up? Flying Monkey Wallpaper") Oh, sure, you home design people are ooh-ing and ah-ing. This charming wooden apple tree bed says “Don’t sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me,” etc. Off to slumber in the fairy tale woods. For you, I have 2 comments: 1. Some of us will not quickly [...] > read more
Hating you Cutely
Published on 2012-04-03 08:13:59
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.313551151.jpg","Hating you Cutely") Someone will have to explain this to me. Plastic “brass knuckles” decorated with Hello, Kitty. Why, my people, why? So you can very gently punch someone while sharing happy cuteness? Because you want to live the Thug Life while you live the Kawaii life, too? Help. {Source} $21.99 and a two-drink minimum [...] > read more
When Good Crafters Go Bad
Published on 2012-04-02 10:00:52
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.315402654.jpg","When Good Crafters Go Bad") This person has some really cute dog tags in their shop – little cutouts of different pooch breeds with grommets for eyes. Then she veers off the path into Zombieland: Pet Tag Dog Tag ID Artisan Charm Zombie Head Dead Ghoul Brain Custom Circle Rivets Stamped Keychain Pendant Pet Lover [...] > read more
I Have Found What the Internet Needs
Published on 2012-04-01 09:58:34
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.263607373.jpg","I Have Found What the Internet Needs") Stop Gossip Powder. Why did no one ever tell me about this before? POOF! {Source} Only $3.00 How can you resist? Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES [...] > read more
Look, kids, more “statement” jewelry
Published on 2012-03-31 08:56:11
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.303807018.jpg","Look, kids, more “statement” jewelry") Now the statement has moved from the necklace to a ring…a ring that looks suspiciously like a tortured, mutated, crocheted set of male genitalia. Or is it just me? {Source} $95 and the sneaking suspicion you’ve been punked. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: [...] > read more
Squish Squash
Published on 2012-03-30 13:54:32
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.7967692.jpg","Squish Squash") This drawing is 30 x 40 inches. That is one hell of a lot of moldy squash to take in. {Source} $150. Hefty bags not included. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES [...] > read more
Spilling Your Guts
Published on 2012-03-29 09:41:22
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.295464835.jpg","Spilling Your Guts") Ok, ok, I feel sorry for you already. Now go be all emo somewhere else with your broken, smashed, ripped-open heart. {Source} $12. Therapy sessions extra. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! [...] > read more
Nailed It
Published on 2012-03-28 08:08:15
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.270730930.jpg","Nailed It") My file of “Things Made From Fingernails That Shouldn’t Be” is beginning to fill up! Today: Earrings. {Source} $8.18 US. Comes with a pile of magazines missing some of their pages. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: [...] > read more
Branding is Everything
Published on 2012-03-27 08:10:52
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.184985351.jpg","Branding is Everything") I don’t care. No matter how much you try to call this “human ivory,” it’s still fingernail clippings to me. No, seriously. Fingernail clippings. Also? Get that thing out of my house. {Source} $200 and steam cleaner rental for where I just tossed my lunch on the carpet. Not the same, but [...] > read more
Spread a Little Sunshine
Published on 2012-03-26 16:06:23
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.287964912.jpg","Spread a Little Sunshine") {Source} Only $2.95 and everlasting joy. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! GIVEAWAY!GIVEAWAY!: Cozies, Done Craftastrophe Style (NSFW) > read more
That’s a Dilly!
Published on 2012-03-24 09:19:49
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.268948465.jpg","That’s a Dilly!") In case you don’t actually want to work at Subway, but you want to smell like you do: Dill pickle soap. The mustard-scented soap is in Aisle 3. {Source} $5.50, or you can just rub a pickle over your body instead. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! [...] > read more
File under “awesome”
Published on 2012-03-23 15:25:03
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.243917334.jpg","File under “awesome”") Taking a short break from actual Craftastrophes for this: {Source} $32. Go forth and shop, because you need this. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! GIVEAWAY!GIVEAWAY!: Cozies, Done Craftastrophe [...] > read more
Ear Bunnies
Published on 2012-03-23 09:43:16
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.301399160.jpg","Ear Bunnies") Looks like a dust bunny I vacuumed up after I took down the Christmas tree last week: Also, the seller says Silicon carbide is extremely hard if used in manufacturing but since these earrings are made with the compound in its natural form, crystals, they are very fragile therefore you need to be [...] > read more
Forgive me for what I am about to do
Published on 2012-03-21 22:24:49
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.316974891.jpg","Forgive me for what I am about to do") I’m sorry. I’ll find something cute and furry tomorrow, I promise. Or not. What room do you suggest putting it in, and why? Show your work {Source} Only $25. Makes a great gift for that one sister-in-law you can’t stand Not the same, but still fun:TIMES [...] > read more
What Nice Big Nipples You All Have!
Published on 2012-03-20 23:42:31
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.215299820.jpg","What Nice Big Nipples You All Have!") The carver seems to have been VERY interested in nipples and belly buttons, no? The artist describes it as being in “Bridal Ivory n Wedding Clear White” – are they suggesting this would go well with your lovely silk Vera Wang bridal sheath dress? Way to impress the [...] > read more
No Caffeine After 4 pm
Published on 2012-03-20 08:05:07
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.312795838.jpg","No Caffeine After 4 pm") This little squirrel just looks so panicked and weary. He’s printed on a baby onesie. It’s like the artist wanted to say: This is adulthood, children. Beware. {Source} $16 and a case of Red Bull Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother [...] > read more
Step Away From the Glue Gun With Your Hands Up
Published on 2012-03-19 08:14:21
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.241417276.jpg","Step Away From the Glue Gun With Your Hands Up") When people say “Ooh, shiny”? I’m pretty sure this is what they HAVE to be talking about. {Source} $350, which is $130 more than these Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! [...] > read more
I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For
Published on 2012-03-17 10:03:52
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.319138218.jpg","I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For") It’s reader participation time! First, guess what these are: WRONG! We have hear 4 tanned gator tongues. These make a very good craft item. I have a friend that makes some very good wallets, bags, knife sheaths and other crafts from gator tongues. They are not dyed [...] > read more
My, How…Rustic
Published on 2012-03-13 23:47:17
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.297473254.jpg","My, How…Rustic") Have I ever mentioned my loathing for most things made of mason jars? Ok, then. It’s a light fixture. Made out of a goat yoke. And some mason jars. Just add some chairs made of John Deere tractor seats and you’ve got yourself a theme. {Source} $445, or the price of a herd [...] > read more
Equal Time for Jews
Published on 2012-03-12 19:00:07
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.311271448.jpg","Equal Time for Jews") We had Easter yesterday, and in the spirit of our cat/dog fur equal time a few days ago, today we’ll celebrate a springtime Jewish holiday, Purim. Too bad Purim was on March 7-8! Hopelessly goyish of me, I know. Remind me when Passover starts next month and I’ll try to find [...] > read more
Holiday Confusion Syndrome Strikes Again
Published on 2012-03-11 22:42:46
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.182320008.jpg","Holiday Confusion Syndrome Strikes Again") Can we not get an innoculation against this sort of thing? First it was snowmen dressed like the Holy Family, now Easter Claus: It looks like they aren’t going to stop, either: Designing Santa Claus is so much fun that I can’t limit myself to just having Christmas Santa gourds, [...] > read more
Equal Time
Published on 2012-03-10 15:14:13
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.136385219.jpg","Equal Time") Yesterday it was cat fur. Today, the dog gets equal time. What is this? A dog fur good luck charm. Why a blob of someone else’s hound’s ear clippings is good luck is beyond me. Good luck, fame and fortune may be yours with this amazing Lucky Hairball. This gnarled knot of dog [...] > read more
Pick up some Benadryl on your way home, ok?
Published on 2012-03-09 17:18:58
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.287164238.jpg","Pick up some Benadryl on your way home, ok?") I’ve got an itch for some new jewelry! It is made from cat fur. Get one for your unsuspecting cat-allergic mother-in-law! Fun is sure to ensue! The fact that it looks like something you cleaned out of the dryer vent is just an added bonus. {Source} [...] > read more
Make your own f***ing Craftastrophe
Published on 2012-03-08 18:40:43
do_sud_thumb("http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/love-is-art-kit","Make your own f***ing Craftastrophe") I don’t often suggest do-it-yourself projects. Sometimes Craftastrophe turns into that, like when intrepid reader Carl Strauser decided to make the Scary Monkey. But generally, we leave it up to others to make our mistakes for us. Not this time, kiddos. This is a hands-on craft. And legs-on. And…well, you [...] > read more
Bambi? Is that you?
Published on 2012-03-08 08:00:37
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.274750460.jpg","Bambi? Is that you?") Taxidermy Couture? Is that a real thing? Because of the kind of shopper I am, I imagine logging on to the Target website and doing a search… I know this joint has been a little taxidermy-heavy lately, but it’s like eating Doritos. You can’t stop after just one. Especially on taxidermy [...] > read more
New! Craft Horror Cage Match
Published on 2012-03-06 23:25:23
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.251456105.jpg","New! Craft Horror Cage Match") A new feature, suggested by intrepid reader Laurie. Two craft horrors, battling head to head to see which is worst. You can justify your choice in the comments section. First up: Hirsute Harriet {Source} $15 or will trade for a good razor Next, Irving the Indecent: {Source} $16 or will [...] > read more
Will definitely scare the varmints out of your garden
Published on 2012-03-06 08:00:08
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.301913705.jpg","Will definitely scare the varmints out of your garden") Bloody zombie garden gnomes. For those who aren’t going for that quaint, charming look. {Source} $10. Where are you going to find a better deal on bloody zombie gnomes? Huh? Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch [...] > read more
Fishface
Published on 2012-03-05 08:03:20
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.316781407.jpg","Fishface") People with animal faces – like those “sexy kitty” costumes on Halloween – are the stuff of my nightmares. But this may be worse. {Source} $48, or the price of some prescription sleeping medication you’ll need to get through this. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a [...] > read more
Today’s thing that is making me feel old and cranky
Published on 2012-03-03 23:14:04
do_sud_thumb("http://","Today’s thing that is making me feel old and cranky") Prom garters? Is this a thing? WHY? Please explain in the comments. I need help understanding what the fresh hell this is. {Source} Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: [...] > read more
Barbie’s Crack House!
Published on 2012-03-03 09:18:22
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.314046009.jpg","Barbie’s Crack House!") Just what every little girl needs to get her start on a business empire! This is a little pile of professionally bailed bricks of pure Columbian cocaine, a perfect addition to your child’s dollhouse or school diorama. (You could also put them inside your Tijuana-themed terrarium.) Attention: There are no drugs inside [...] > read more
When I Saw This, I Thought of You…
Published on 2012-03-02 08:40:03
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.166698687.jpg","When I Saw This, I Thought of You…") …your giant simian arms, your furry jutting breasts, and especially your razor-sharp toenails. You’re welcome! This is Raquel. Her hobbies include disco dancing and chasing stray cats. Her turn ons include men with low self esteem and daddy issues. Raquel was acually modelled after an old neighbor [...] > read more
How my mind works
Published on 2012-03-01 08:00:57
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.308157947.jpg","How my mind works") This little ring is lovely. It is delicate. It is artistic. It is gonna snag the HELL out of your sweaters. {Source} $178 and the loss of your whole knit collection Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! [...] > read more
Why did Carmen Miranda Never Think of This?
Published on 2012-02-29 09:02:21
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.226887278.jpg","Why did Carmen Miranda Never Think of This?") Back when I was a kid and people of ethnicities other than beige were exotic and hilarious, one way you knew that the lady on the teevee was Latina was that she had a fruit basket on her head. Add an off-the-shoulder dress and an accent and [...] > read more
It’s Enough to Cause Sobriety. Almost.
Published on 2012-02-28 08:05:18
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.300610124.jpg","It’s Enough to Cause Sobriety. Almost.") Stop hogging that liquor bottle! {Source} $20, or the same price as all the cheap tequila it is going to take you to forget you are drinking out of a pig snout. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label [...] > read more
You’ll Have to Explain This One
Published on 2012-02-27 08:07:23
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.104439563.jpg","You’ll Have to Explain This One") This hat is supposed to represent two upside-down melting pink ice cream cones. Ooooooookaaaaaaay then. I would have guessed some kind of messed-up turkey legs. Or udders. What do you think? {Source} $39.95 worth of weird looks all day long There’s a great Crafting event coming to Southern California [...] > read more
A Cleaning and A Show
Published on 2012-02-26 09:10:40
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.303858438.jpg","A Cleaning and A Show") I have a lady dentist, too, but she never shows me her boobs while she’s working on me. Maybe that’s an extra charge. How did I know this was a male artist? Deep sigh. {Source} $109. Titty shot free. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! [...] > read more
Rolling My Eyes
Published on 2012-02-24 17:46:06
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.285024704.jpg","Rolling My Eyes") Multimedia portrait in paint and…ping pong balls. That’s ONE way to liven up the family room. {Source} Less than $10. Get one while they last. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES [...] > read more
It Only Hurts Because It’s True
Published on 2012-02-24 07:00:02
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.274364784.jpg","It Only Hurts Because It’s True") One question, though: What is up with her boobs? {Source} $125 or will trade for a pallet of Two-Buck Chuck Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! [...] > read more
Action Heroes
Published on 2012-02-23 08:00:49
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.291364305.jpg","Action Heroes") There just isn’t enough art featuring Narwhals, IMO. And this art is from a rare action sequence of a shark-narhwal death battle! I hope there isn’t some obvious cultural reference I’m missing. I don’t go to a lot of animal on animal action movies or read comics… Love the artist’s description – you [...] > read more
The Greatest Love of All
Published on 2012-02-22 08:00:39
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.240388473.jpg","The Greatest Love of All") Look, I love my dog. I love her more than anything. I let her sleep on the furniture. I spend thousands of dollars on vet bills every year, because she is apparently the most hapless mutt who ever mutted. I take her to my mom’s house while I work because [...] > read more
Graceful and Elegant
Published on 2012-02-21 10:30:14
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.303723474.jpg","Graceful and Elegant") It’s so important to surround yourself with objects that are meaningful and beautiful, don’t you think? {Source} $800 worth of embarrassment and disgust Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! TIMES UP!TIMES UP! [...] > read more
Something to Wear With Your Mouse-Head Cameo
Published on 2012-02-20 07:54:35
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.303171416.jpg","Something to Wear With Your Mouse-Head Cameo") Schmutzie found this. Wanna guess? That right there, my friends, is probably the one and only brooch made of bobcat toe bones you’ll see all day! Wear it with your Mouse Head Cameo! I’m starting to think of crafting myself. My first stop is going to be the [...] > read more
Next Stop: That “Intervention” TV Show
Published on 2012-02-18 19:08:21
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.265319602.jpg","Next Stop: That “Intervention” TV Show") If you want to be the talk of your high school reunion, I have a “statement necklace” for you: Of course, I went to school during the punk era, so people would just think I was doing a retro thing. {Source} $35 or will trade for prescription meds Not [...] > read more
There, there
Published on 2012-02-17 12:51:16
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.312897124.jpg","There, there") Sometimes I just want to pat crafters on the hand and say “There, there. It’s time to take a break.” Step away from the bead boxes. {Source} $30 worth of beading frenzy Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman [...] > read more
Because Bad Humor Keeps You Warm
Published on 2012-02-16 22:47:58
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.311073661.jpg","Because Bad Humor Keeps You Warm") I was all set to make some kind of humorous Tyler Perry and Madea reference. But then I realized I didn’t know squat about Tyler Perry and/or Madea, so I went and watched some videos on YouTube. Now I’m REALLY not in a funny mood. At least the colors [...] > read more
Caution: Do Not Wear to the PETA Meeting. Or the PTA meeting.
Published on 2012-02-16 10:25:25
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.307821529.jpg","Caution: Do Not Wear to the PETA Meeting. Or the PTA meeting.") Ah, a precious cameo – the most classic and ladylike of all jewelry: Until you add a dead mouse head, anyway. {Source} $125 worth of scaring the snot out of your mother-in-law Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! [...] > read more
I Always Feel Like Someone is Watching Me
Published on 2012-02-15 05:00:14
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.268436191.jpg","I Always Feel Like Someone is Watching Me") This is funny in the way that your Uncle who thinks he is funny when he really isn’t funny at all, is funny. What a crazy face to great your guests. Imagine the surprise as someone lifts the lid and sees this funny fellow. Are there words [...] > read more
Write Your Own Caption
Published on 2012-02-13 22:50:38
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.303587583.jpg","Write Your Own Caption") Ok, the shoe sculpture – whatever. Clever sculptures are a dime a dozen. This one happens to be $24,000, but I’ve seen worse. I mean, I live in Oprah’s neighborhood, where people spend all kinds of stupid money on stupid art. Well, not exactly Oprah’s neighborhood. I guess you could say [...] > read more
Children are ingrates
Published on 2012-02-13 08:03:56
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.283880127.jpg","Children are ingrates") My Grandmother was a very large lady. When we would go to her house for Sunday dinners she always made fresh homemade buns to go with dinner. Taking the buns piping hot out of the oven, quite often this view is what my brother and I were presented with. And while we [...] > read more
Something borrowed, something blue. Not camo. Blue.
Published on 2012-02-12 09:37:01
do_sud_thumb("http://img3.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.205779351.jpg","Something borrowed, something blue. Not camo. Blue.") Hello, ladies? There’s a time for camouflage and a time for…anything else. Like on your wedding day. Of course, you could wear them on other occasions. Hookups in the duck blind. Battlefield pole dances. Hit me with your best ideas in the comments. {Source} $27.99 or will trade [...] > read more
Totally Ridiculous
Published on 2012-02-11 15:46:41
do_sud_thumb("http://img0.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.303970020.jpg","Totally Ridiculous") This unicorn’s horn is WAY too big for his head. Totally unrealistic. And in any case, anyone who cuts the head off a unicorn gets banished from the Rainbow Village forever. {Source}$16 or a pocketful of magic sparkle dust. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a [...] > read more
Minnesota Nice
Published on 2012-02-10 09:01:18
do_sud_thumb("http://img1.etsystatic.com/il_75x75.266050601.jpg","Minnesota Nice") Hey, Minnesota – being vaguely threatening is Texas’s job. You’re too nice for that. Besides, you shouldn’t be a copycat. {Source} $24 but you can probably find them 3 for $15 at the swap meet Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES [...] > read more
Don’t Fence Me In
Published on 2012-02-09 07:56:29
do_sud_thumb("http://img2.etsystatic.com/il_570xN.299306034.jpg","Don’t Fence Me In") Because nothing says Love like an old, rusty piece of wire? Hope you’re up on your tetanus shots, honey! {Source} $12. Emergency room visits extra. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch Label Maker!TIMES UP! Giveaway! Hangman NecklaceGIVEAWAY: Fail Whale: Part Deux! [...] > read more
Just me and my messed-up cat pictures
Published on 2011-04-20 22:58:20
do_sud_thumb("http://","Just me and my messed-up cat pictures") I think I am the lone Craftastrophe holdout. Everyone else has abandoned the sinking ship like rats. Leaving me here with the cats. Scary, terrifying, horrible cats: I don’t often > read more
Puddle the Easter Horror
Published on 2011-04-14 12:00:45
do_sud_thumb("http://","Puddle the Easter Horror") We all know bad children get coal in their stockings at Christmas. What do bad children get at Easter? Behold Puddle the Funky Gypsy Fiber Art Bunny. Hm. Looks more like Puddle the Mutant Horror Movi > read more
Don’t Remind Me
Published on 2011-04-10 15:33:23
do_sud_thumb("http://","Don’t Remind Me") There are some things that go without saying. There are others that you shouldn’t say because you don’t want to draw attention to them. Observe: And you want to remind people of these facts > read more
An NSFW Farewell
Published on 2011-04-05 12:00:38
do_sud_thumb("http://","An NSFW Farewell") This will be my last contribution to this lovely blog. And for my final Craftastrophe post, I of course wanted to find something good. Something indicative of my experience as both a Craftastrophe writer > read more
For the minimalist
Published on 2011-03-31 12:00:59
do_sud_thumb("http://","For the minimalist") I KNOW it has to be hard to carve a stone ball. It must have taken you a long, long time to carve a stone ball. It started as an ordinary rock. Thousands of thunks later, it takes shape as a glorious globe > read more
Waiter, There’s a Hair In My…Oh.
Published on 2011-03-29 11:48:19
do_sud_thumb("http://","Waiter, There’s a Hair In My…Oh.") Just what you’ve always wanted–the inconvenience of not one but MANY hairs in your coffee for just $50! I’m amazed more espressos don’t come with > read more
Heffalumps and Lady Lumps
Published on 2011-03-25 07:00:12
do_sud_thumb("http://","Heffalumps and Lady Lumps") Here in the south, we have two definitions for being sans clothing. One of which is of course naked, which means that you have no clothes on. The other is nekkid, which means you have no clothes on > read more
You’ve got a little spinach in your earring
Published on 2011-03-23 08:35:21
do_sud_thumb("http://","You’ve got a little spinach in your earring") and now we know what the tooth fairy does with all of those teeth. Also, ew. Source Some more like this one:Mother’s Day Gift for That Helicopter Mom in Your L > read more
NSF…Oh, Wait, Those Are Eggs.
Published on 2011-03-22 12:02:17
do_sud_thumb("http://ny-image0.etsy.com/il_570xN.125703880.jpg","NSF…Oh, Wait, Those Are Eggs.") Unfortunate egg placement FTW. {source} Renee also makes things. Some more like this one:Happy Easter, Psycho!Valley of the DollsBun(ny) In > read more
You take the good, you take the bad…
Published on 2011-03-16 05:20:43
do_sud_thumb("http://","You take the good, you take the bad…") We are used to seeing some REALLY awful things, here at Craftastrophe. It’s kind of our thing. However, sometimes in the search for crap, you come up with a rose. Or in this c > read more
Do You Love Me?
Published on 2011-03-15 12:00:20
do_sud_thumb("http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_570xN.138824755.jpg","Do You Love Me?") Mashed potato cuff-link or bloody tooth? You decide. {source} Renee also knits. Some more like this one:Uterus Dentata (and Other Frightening Ceramics)Imagine waking > read more
I Pity The Fool Without This Plate
Published on 2011-03-14 13:39:55
do_sud_thumb("http://ny-image1.etsy.com/il_75x75.226775693.jpg","I Pity The Fool Without This Plate") Holy ceramic crap, Batman! Not only is this plate fantastic, it’s on SALE! Honestly, I’m a little nervous to post this for fear one > read more
Jarhead
Published on 2011-03-11 07:00:05
do_sud_thumb("http://","Jarhead") Jars are for jam. And hope. And moonshine. Jars are not and should never be for this…… “This is a preserved “baby bird” with lil white wings. She sits in her nest just waiting for someon > read more
Every Dude’s Worst Nightmare (NSFW)
Published on 2011-03-08 12:00:00
do_sud_thumb("http://","Every Dude’s Worst Nightmare (NSFW)") What could these lovely young ladies be up to? Let’s see, they have red hair and pitchers. I wonder what’s in the pitchers. Maybe it’s wine. Maybe, if I’ > read more
Why Didn’t I Think of That #27
Published on 2011-03-03 23:31:49
do_sud_thumb("http://","Why Didn’t I Think of That #27") Dang me – when my dryer did this to some of my clothes, I paid $75 to have a guy fix it. I had no idea I could shred them further and charge suckas $69 each for them. Shredded panel > read more
#Winning!
Published on 2011-03-03 18:40:13
do_sud_thumb("http://","#Winning!") Um, #winning! More #winning. Perfect for movie buff or renaissance/pirate enthusiast. I read: Totally, bi-winning! {source} {source} {source} Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a > read more
Super Pregnant, Super Gross (Slightly NSFW)
Published on 2011-03-01 12:00:33
do_sud_thumb("http://","Super Pregnant, Super Gross (Slightly NSFW)") My friend Stephanie is super pregnant. With her baby shower coming up this month, and her due date growing ever closer, I’ve got babies on the brain. And (as evide > read more
Every Home Needs a Carbonite Throw Pillow
Published on 2011-03-01 09:16:09
do_sud_thumb("http://xanadoodle.wordpress.com/2011/02/27/han-solo-in-carbonite-throw-pillow/","Every Home Needs a Carbonite Throw Pillow") I love Harrison Ford as much as the next girl. No, I probably don’t. Especially if the “next gi > read more
Caution: May Cause Significant Side Effects
Published on 2011-02-27 20:11:21
do_sud_thumb("http://","Caution: May Cause Significant Side Effects") I started taking anti-malarial drugs and I was somewhat worried about the side effects. They warn against blurred vision, liver damage and hallucinations. Am I seeing what I think > read more
Baby, Baby, Baby Ohhhh Baby…..
Published on 2011-02-25 07:00:39
do_sud_thumb("http://","Baby, Baby, Baby Ohhhh Baby…..") Nothing like a nice hot shower, feeling that water running over you and then reaching for the soap and …. WTH ? Cleaner than a baby’s butt! I’m totally sure the lovely v > read more
Has anyone seen my salad?
Published on 2011-02-22 23:52:47
do_sud_thumb("http://","Has anyone seen my salad?") I could have sworn I left it right here on the counter. Where did it go? Oh, there it is. Now if I could just find my croutons…. Sourcealicious Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! > read more
AHHHHH! It’s the Blood Spatter Onesie.
Published on 2011-02-22 12:00:02
do_sud_thumb("http://","AHHHHH! It’s the Blood Spatter Onesie.") This is inspired by Dexter and by the idea that murderous newborns are funny. Um, clearly you have missed the point of Dexter, and do not understand the word “funny.” > read more
Quick! Spot me $474.82*, please?
Published on 2011-02-18 19:37:28
do_sud_thumb("http://craftastrophe.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/20110219-eyi92jxa9tteq2e297t8fbms5s.jpg","Quick! Spot me $474.82*, please?") I am completely enamoured. I’ve stumbled upon the Holy Land of Awesome, you guys. I just can’t > read more
Do It Yourself? Please Don’t.
Published on 2011-02-18 10:56:32
do_sud_thumb("http://","Do It Yourself? Please Don’t.") Looking for a way to re-do your kid’s room and ensure that they’ll be needing therapy for years to come? Have I got the idea for you !!! Just grab a leg, an arm, a handful of h > read more
I’ll Stick to Hallmark
Published on 2011-02-17 17:49:46
do_sud_thumb("http://","I’ll Stick to Hallmark") This is a “funny” greeting card. But only in the sense of funny-peculiar, not funny-ha-ha. FRONT SAYS: Please stop laughing. This is a serious matter. I almost cocked. Shit. I meant t > read more
Happy Valentimes!
Published on 2011-02-15 12:00:54
do_sud_thumb("http://","Happy Valentimes!") “Honey, I got you something really special for Valentine’s Day this year.” “Is it chocolates?” “No, better.” “Is it roses?” “Better.” “ > read more
Look ! Down There !
Published on 2011-02-11 07:00:49
do_sud_thumb("http://ny-image0.etsy.com/il_570xN.196202300.jpg","Look ! Down There !") “Someday you will find me, caught between the labia……like a Tampon Super Grover in the skyyyyy…….. ” Where was this when I was > read more
First, you grab it by the tail
Published on 2011-02-10 12:00:41
do_sud_thumb("http://","First, you grab it by the tail") This scarf would make a lovely gift. It is lovely, isn’t it? So soft. And handmade. I thought I’d love a scarf like this, until I found out what it was made of. Possum fur (and alpa > read more
My Uterus Feels Like A Punching Bag
Published on 2011-02-09 14:00:55
do_sud_thumb("http://","My Uterus Feels Like A Punching Bag") Yep. I’ve said that before. That awesome (sarcasm) uterine massage after having a baby? Yep, that did it. Uterus Pinata was a new one though. I adore that the creator is self aware & > read more
It’s Not Like You Have Anything Better to Spend $500 On
Published on 2011-02-08 11:25:04
do_sud_thumb("http://","It’s Not Like You Have Anything Better to Spend $500 On") God dammit, what the fuck is this? Is that another animal hat? Is your head supposed to be going into its ass, or coming out of it? Wait, what? It’s not jus > read more
Hello Kitty
Published on 2011-02-04 07:00:14
do_sud_thumb("http://","Hello Kitty") Still looking for that perfect Valentine’s Day gift? Who wouldn’t want vagina on a string? I don’t think I’ll be chewing gum anytime soon though. But I do totally love the name Quite Cuntr > read more
You’re Welcome!
Published on 2011-02-01 12:00:47
As someone who’s always got an eye out for awful crafts, I feel that it’s important to give the occasional shout out to the folks who are doing things right. Two weeks ago I stopped into an SF bookstore and fell instantly in love with t > read more
A Horrifying Instructable
Published on 2011-02-01 10:45:41
This is an instructable for a fun, at-home craft that can be used as a gift! Great for kids! It’s a urine-filled snow globe! All you need are a few simple supplies. A sterile collection cup, a Playmobil wheelchair kid and a big glass of water w > read more
Published on 2011-01-28 07:00:33
For some reason, this makes me want to run out and get a pedicure. And a wax. I should take girlfriend here with me. This bombshell is Helga! She’s a Saggitarius and her hobbies include candle making and UFC style cage fighting. Her turn-ons in > read more
My Bloody Valentine
Published on 2011-01-27 12:00:30
Listed under “Valentine’s Sale,” a painting called “The Binding of Isaac” This piece captures the affect of a child -who would be the “sacrificial lamb”. As Isaac connects to us in this moment, he gazes into > read more
Love Your Creepy Cloth Doll, Love Yourself
Published on 2011-01-25 12:47:52
How’s your nude body image? Feel like you could use a reminder to celebrate diversity in beauty? Want to excite your self esteem? Then I’ve got just the thing! Exotic Soft Sculpture and cloth dolls are designed to arouse positive nu > read more
Buzz Cut
Published on 2011-01-21 07:00:07
I’ve decided I’m in the wrong business. I get up and go to work everyday so I can have health insurance, a 401K and stock options when all I really need to do is stick some ugly craft together, get featured here and then live in artist in > read more
Put a curse on your neighbors for the low, low price of $6.66
Published on 2011-01-20 17:32:03
At last! Someone on etsy who is brave enough to admit that their creepy art is actually for the purposes of evil. It certainly LOOKS evil: And here’s the description: Although completely harmless within the home, these horrible abominations s > read more
Jeremiah *was* a bullfrog
Published on 2011-01-19 08:00:22
Jeremiah was a bullfrog was a good friend of mine til I gave him jacked up googly eyes and a zipper in his behind Joy to the world have a new change purse Joy to the pennies which now hop by me Good God, this is ugly Thanks, MorningSide Mom! Not the > read more
A Cunning Array of Stunts – NSFW
Published on 2011-01-18 11:59:17
I don’t get vagina art. I’m not one of those women who’s freaked out by genitals, either–I like my vagina–but it strikes me as immodest to hang your junk out for the world to see. It also seems cruel to force the more > read more
One-legged Bird Brain
Published on 2011-01-14 19:08:13
I don’t know what’s more troubling: the fact that I was completely un-phased by the decapitated head snacking on its own brains, or that I spent AN HOUR trying to figure out how that bird is standing… Is that it’s ass in the a > read more
It’s Never Too Late …..
Published on 2011-01-14 07:00:08
.. to file a restraining order begin shopping for Valentine’s Day ! “Tell that special guy (or gal) that you can’t live without him this Valentine’s Day”…and what better way than with a card that depicts such a gru > read more
In case you don’t have enough creepy evil in your home
Published on 2011-01-13 13:00:41
Sometimes I look around my cozy domicile and think “You know what would make this place perfect? Something scary and evil-looking! Not just a little evil-looking – something that will REALLY frighten the children and give them nightmares > read more
Why Is This A Thing?
Published on 2011-01-11 12:00:38
Wait, so that’s a hat? {source} Renee thinks bras are for boobies. Some more like this one:For the Army Wife Who Has EverythingMerry Christmas, Mom! (NSFW)Valley of the DollsOh My StarsGot a spare tablecloth and feather boa? > read more
These Cat Earrings Go Too Far
Published on 2011-01-11 08:00:46
If you know someone who would wear these catt butt earrings, please send me their contact info so that I may, one day, track them down and punch them in the face. {Source} Cat Rocketship is a cat lover, but would never, ever, under pain of death, wea > read more
Aunt Becky Knows Awesome
Published on 2011-01-10 08:14:11
I LOVE me some cross stitch. My Granny taught me when I was quite young, and I’ve made several projects as gifts over the years. But I’ve never made anything like this: Based on Pop Culture, this artist has made some hilarious creations! > read more
Crazy Mare, a Mouse – and Rodney Dangerfield?
Published on 2011-01-07 21:32:50
Dear readers, meet Fifiusca the crazy mare and Rufulfa the mouse… It’s evident there was a lot of effort put into making these two, but all I can see is this: Fifiusca and Rufulfa look like they’ve been out on a bender for 3 nights, > read more
A Wild and Crazy Guy
Published on 2011-01-06 12:00:54
The question comes to mind: Steve Martin – frightened, constipated, or both? Please leave your answers in the comments section. {Source} Suebob has a high-fiber breakfast cereal recipe that can cure all that. Not the same, but still fun:TIMES U > read more
Alpha Beta Gaga
Published on 2011-01-04 12:00:33
I’ve got another Lots to Love Berenguer baby doll. This brand new Hispanic baby boy (at least I think he’s a boy – he’s not THAT detailed) is Alpha male, wearing a fashion forward/retro/semi-formal-casual/dumpster chiq wolf > read more
The Finishing Touch to Your Redecorating
Published on 2011-01-04 10:28:17
Are you looking for that last bit of charm for a newly-refinished room? Maybe you’ve thought, “This room needs a little life, but not another houseplant.” Or perhaps you’re dreaming of a huge, hulking decorative goody which, w > read more
You Like Us, You REALLY Like Us!
Published on 2011-01-03 10:00:44
Yay! We came in 2nd in Crafting in the Canadian Weblog Awards! Congrats to the 1st place winner, Yarn Harlot, and the 3rd place winner, Imagination in Parenting! Not the same, but still fun:TIMES UP! TIMES UP! TIMES UP! CONTEST: Win a Brother P-Touch > read more
Folk Art Moose Is Watching You Poop
Published on 2011-01-03 08:37:42
Did I ever tell you about when I was a young single woman, I went into a folk art shop in Vancouver and got to talking with the owner, who was a young dude that had a pretty face? He was good looking, not gorgeous. He asked me out on the spot and > read more
Arm Uh Dill What ?
Published on 2010-12-31 07:00:52
I present to you quite possibly the ugliest craft item I have ever seen. Unless you ask the creator, who says this about their monstrosity……. ( I left the typos – FREEBIE ) THIS UNIQUE CREATION IS BOTH FACINATING AND FUNCTIONAL. A M > read more