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The Inevitable ‘Goodbye’ Post
Published on 2012-05-04 09:00:18
Not Dead, Just Sleeping… Happy birthday to me Happy birthday to me Happy birthday, dear Confessions Happy birthday to me! Confessions of a Serial Insomniac began exactly three years ago today with the first incarnation of the ubiquitous About page. It seems fitting and right that it meets its pseudo-demise on its birthday. It’s a [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
Perspectives from the Mentalist’s Best Friend
Published on 2012-04-28 09:05:40
Good afternoon, loveliest readers. Following the success of A’s series of guest posts for Confessions on daily life with a mental, my best friend Daniel asked if he could add some thoughts of his own. Clearly I jumped at the chance to have these insights, so I fired him off a couple of questions, which, [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
Perspectives from the Mentalist’s Partner (6): The Blind Leading the Mad
Published on 2012-04-26 10:49:48
As regular readers may have noted from Pandora’s occasional mentions of me, I have a disability. I’m partially sighted. I usually don’t think about it. Why would I? It’s something that’s always been with me. Well, when I say ‘always‘, I mean the pleasure’s been all mine ‘within living memory’. I hesitate to say that [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
2012 Continues its Shittery, But Reports of My Death are Greatly Exaggerated
Published on 2012-03-21 20:19:06
Good evening (or morning, if you prefer). It must have been about three weeks since I last posted, which is pretty much a record absence for me in the almost-three years that I’ve been writing this blog. There are some underlying reasons, I suppose, but primarily my disappearance can be attributed to the usual culprit: [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
Thank Christ(ine) for Christine
Published on 2012-03-02 07:58:45
A lot happened this week, but I have neither the time nor inclination to discuss it in detail. Perhaps next week. In summary: I saw Paul on Tuesday for our first ‘proper’ therapy session of the new stint. A bit of a weird dynamic was present – I babbled relentlessly, flitting from one random tangent [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
Cancer, Crohn’s and Crappy Days
Published on 2012-02-24 07:15:07
Someone please write Saturday’s TWIM for me (thanks to the lovely sanabituranima for writing this week’s TNIM at short notice). My head is too mushed to even think about This Week in Mentalists at the minute – it’s not just that I can’t face writing it myself; even approaching potential authors is a task pathetically [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
CPN Appointment
Published on 2012-02-19 10:30:54
***Possible Self-Harm Triggers, Blah Blah Blah*** Saw Christine on Thursday afternoon for the first time late December. Explained all that had happened in the first few months of 2012 and how things are very, very shit. She seemed to be of the view that this is a depressive episode more generally, because of the self-harm [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
Perspectives from the Mentalist’s Partner (5): Thwarting the Downward Spiral
Published on 2012-02-16 16:15:15
I should preface the following by noting that this post has not been written by Pandora. Rather it is a guest post by her partner, known to regular readers of this blog as A. The views expressed, needless to say, are not necessarily those that are held by the Serial Insomniac herself. Now, with that [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
The Funeral: Part One
Published on 2012-02-15 17:35:50
It was a day like no other. Given her long-term health problems, I had often wondered what Aunt Maisie’s funeral would look like. For such an obstinate woman, she was remarkably popular – as, for reasons I don’t fully comprehend, the entire McFaul clan seem to similarly regarded. Perhaps it’s a rural thing; they seem [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
…And the NHS Cocks It Up Again
Published on 2012-02-10 10:15:04
I had a psychiatric appointment on Wednesday morning. In terms of interaction with NewVCB regarding myself, it was fairly unremarkable. I apprised her of the various events that had occurred since I’d last seen her – Maisie’s death; seeing Paedo; the fact that the doctor’s bloody “surgery” screwed up my Lamictal script for several weeks; the kitten, [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
Resuming Psychotherapy – Paul: The Catch-Up Sessions
Published on 2012-02-07 16:42:13
So. I mentioned at the end of my post the other week that I was going to see Paul that evening. I know I’d brought up that fact somewhere before then, but I’m not sure if it was on this blog or elsewhere. Either way, anybody who is a regular reader will probably be aware that Christine, my CPN, [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
Fuck the Welfare Reform Bill!
Published on 2012-02-03 20:14:12
I’ve deliberately stayed away from the politics of welfare “reform” on this blog for quite some time, because it’s such a nasty fucking business. But given the heinous, subterfugal, undemocratic fucking bullshit that has permeated all circumstances pertaining to the Welfare Reform Bill, recently and regrettably passed by the House of Cunts Commons, I can [...More Nonsense..?] > read more
Blog Carnival of Mental Health, June 2011: Hope and Despair
Published on 2011-06-30 08:00:45
Welcome to this month’s Blog Carnival of Mental Health, on the topic of hope and despair. They are, ostensibly, a simple couple of concepts – but within each, there is a lot to be said across the Madosphere. So let’s see what our en > read more
Psychology vs Therapy, and Being Burgled (AGAIN)
Published on 2011-06-29 17:48:47
It seems I have ignited a mini-debate (very, very mini) in the comments thread of my last post for apparently having been less than complimentary about C in the post pertaining to same (I wasn’t particularly nice about him, granted, but I didn& > read more
To BPD or Not to BPD?
Published on 2011-06-24 02:40:27
Last night I was reading this post by GoldenPsych, and was reminded of a recent, and potentially significant, development in the saga that is my mental (ill) health – something that I had hitherto forgotten to record here. I saw Christine, my C > read more
Philip Davies, Mental Health and the Minimum Wage
Published on 2011-06-21 18:34:56
This is an expanded, more opinionated version of an article I wrote elsewhere. — Unless you’ve been living under a stone since Thursday night, you’ve probably heard about the controversy caused on Friday by a hitherto pretty much u > read more
The Wrong Side of the Road
Published on 2011-06-15 11:40:28
I think this entry will function adequately for my contribution to this month’s Blog Carnival of Mental Health, which is on the theme of hope and despair. As you probably know, I was on holiday recently. For those that care, yes – we did > read more
Silence is Dolescum – Paul: Weeks 19 & 20
Published on 2011-06-14 17:42:06
Week 19 I have lost every last word of my notes on week 19. Fuck! This has caused me considerable frustration, but it could be worse. I do remember the session as being a rather frustrating one – it was characterised by a lot of silence and lit > read more
Protected: Action
Published on 2011-06-05 19:55:04
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post. > read more
Blog Carnival of Mental Health
Published on 2011-05-30 11:56:03
Buenas días amigos Just a quick note to let you know that Confessions of a Serial Insomniac will be hosting the Blog Carnival of Mental Health for the month of June. The theme is hope and despair; contributors are free to interpret this in any way t > read more
Adios
Published on 2011-05-20 14:30:07
Bye, lovelies! I’m leaving these shores first thing tomorrow morning and shan’t be back until late on Wednesday 1 June, so there may not be any posts here until after that. That said, I do have a couple of entries planned, so if I have a > read more
Nadine Dorries: “Abstinence Only Education Will Help Prevent Child Sex Abuse”
Published on 2011-05-17 08:23:16
EDIT TO ADD: A petition has been created calling for Nadine Dorries’ resignation in light of the comments below. Please don’t allow her to get away with this unscathed - add your name to the list of signatories right here. Thank you. &# > read more
Monty Python’s Flying Mentalist
Published on 2011-05-12 18:40:06
Do you follow me on Twitter? If your response is in the affirmative, then it is likely that the following will be mere repetition to you – unless of course you, like me, sometimes have difficulty keeping up with your feed and ergo miss all my i > read more
Feeling Sorry for One’s CPN
Published on 2011-05-09 16:24:10
This pseudo-recovery thing has its downsides. I miss writing this blog with the frequency that I used to, and yet when I sit down to knock out a few (a few! Me?! As if!) paragraphs, the will to do so seems to vanish. I think it’s not so much th > read more
It’s My Birthday, and I’ll Die if I Want Two
Published on 2011-05-04 11:23:15
Fortunately (or unfortunately) for the not entirely insignificant number of readers this blog has, I don’t ‘want to’. Or even ‘want two’. Even if my posting here has dried up markedly of late, my little corner of cybersp > read more
On Being Alive
Published on 2011-04-26 10:53:36
I’m aware that my post frequency here has gone down considerably lately. Where once I was writing maybe three or four entries a week, now here I am considering myself lucky if I’m even getting one done. There is no sinister or disillusion > read more
Illness
Published on 2011-04-19 17:59:23
I am sick – again! This week’s misery makes last week’s, horrible as it was at the time, seem like a walk in the bloody park. There are many symptoms, but the most pressing ones are the horrifically frequent diarrhoea bouts and an > read more
Mentalist Appointments and Other Boring Faff
Published on 2011-04-14 19:17:53
I’ve been very sick this week. I was throwing my guts up and, to be euphemistic, losing matter at the other end almost continuously from Monday morning to sometime yesterday. Well, not quite; what happened on Monday was that I was sick (as in > read more
Bye, Bye Borderline!
Published on 2011-04-13 17:51:03
These are the criteria, at least five of which are required to be met, in order to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Apologies if this is too much of an echo of my year-old post called ‘BPD vs C-PTSD‘ – but there > read more
On Sectarian Hatred and Dissidents
Published on 2011-04-10 16:27:02
Last weekend a young man was murdered in this country. A young policeman. He was 25. He was killed doing the job that, by all accounts, he loved, and that he fervently thought was worthwhile. He was a Catholic, but who gives a flying rat’s arse > read more
Missing a Dose of Venlafaxine, and Inevitable Post-Consultant Blah
Published on 2011-04-07 18:05:59
When I first started writing this blog nearly two years ago, I was – as the title suggests – plagued by almost continuous insomnia. It is a truly dreadful affliction, but it’s surprising how much the human body and, to a lesser exte > read more
Anonymity and the Beginning of the End…Again
Published on 2011-04-04 17:46:28
I got a laugh this week when someone asked me why I write this blog anonymously. What is it that I’m scared of, they mused? Is it that I want to perpetrate the stigma that permeates mental illness by hiding behind the dark cloak of the internet > read more
Smoking (and its Possible Relation to Mentalness)
Published on 2011-03-30 18:38:05
I quit smoking, after about a decade of engaging in it, on 1 January 2007. The smoking ban was coming in here in April that year, and I thought that would give me plenty of time to adjust to being a non-smoker before everyone was (in my view justifi > read more
RIP, Mental Nurse :(
Published on 2011-03-27 13:56:33
The Mental Nurse blog, in which so many of us have been involved in one way or another for some time, is dead. It passed away on Friday, before being all-too-quickly reincarnated as some dirgey piece of spam holding crap. *weeps inconsolably* The de > read more
The Sad Story – Paul: Week 18
Published on 2011-03-25 10:03:24
Beware. There is a lot of ranting in this post. My ire is mainly the rage I usually harbour on the relevant matters, but the particularly belligerent style of some of the following is also partly attributable to the fact that I’m listening to M > read more
Baby Cuts – Paul: Weeks 16 and 17
Published on 2011-03-24 18:47:11
Mwhahahaha! I am finally getting up to date with the backlog of this shit. I am so awesome and stuff (hello, strongly narcissistic traits, how are you today then?). The post on my most recent session with Paul will be published tomorrow, so for now h > read more
Insert Witty Title Here – CPN and NewVCB Appointments
Published on 2011-03-23 18:18:15
I was writing this as a combined post of this week’s entire set of mental appointments – ie. these two and Paul – but the Paul stuff has completely taken on a mind of its own, and needs to be separated from these, which are broadly > read more
Equality and The ‘Opposite’ of Narcissism – Paul: Week 15
Published on 2011-03-21 17:07:59
This week is going to be the fullest mentalist-related week I’ve had since September 2009. Today, I saw Paul (week 18). Tomorrow, I will meet my newly allocated CPN Christine for the first time. On Wednesday, apparently, I have to see NewVCB. I > read more
Why is Self-Harm Bad?
Published on 2011-03-14 17:31:35
***Beware of self-injury related triggers*** I’m being a little repetitive here, as Cassie wrote a post on this very issue only the other week. But the question is still bugging me. What is it about self-injury, in whatever form, that is mean > read more
Validation, Faces and My Purpose in Life – Paul: Weeks 13 & 14
Published on 2011-03-10 17:58:32
Yeah, I know, I know. I asked at the end of the last (random and lazy) post that you castigate me aggressively if this material was not published before midnight on…Tuesday? Wednesday? Meh. I failed. You failed too, readers. Only two or three o > read more
An ‘I’m a Lazy Bastard’ Post
Published on 2011-03-07 13:55:06
NOTE: If you don’t like gratuitous swearing, don’t read this. Ta very cunting much. — If LittleFeet can succumb to the lures of a meme, then I happily can too So this is my ridiculous take on the ‘A – Z’ interrog > read more
Venlafaxine 300mg and Seeing the Good
Published on 2011-03-02 10:41:18
I’ve been taking 300mg of Venlafaxine for a week now. A week is damn all in the context of anti-depressant medication, I know, but I’m actually feeling cautiously optimistic about it. A and I had a really good weekend; I’m not sayin > read more
I Love My Mum
Published on 2011-02-24 10:21:25
I seem to spend half my time on this blog and on Twitter criticising her for her occasional bad points, but I so rarely acknowledge the goodness in her. My father tortured her for over 20 years, and her life hasn’t been a bed of roses since e > read more
Keeping Out of the Day Bin
Published on 2011-02-23 16:39:10
I can’t write much, but I saw my consultant, NewVCB, today. Knowing that I would be utterly crap and unable to articulate myself in any vaguely coherent way at all, I brought (slightly redacted) copies of my last post and last week’s whin > read more
Running Out of Cope
Published on 2011-02-21 19:31:44
Everyone else who’s mental at the moment – quite a few of us it seems – is blogging about it, rather than just sitting waiting for something specific to happen like I am wont to do, so I shall fall into the pattern of the ‘sce > read more
My Medical Notes: Initial Thoughts
Published on 2011-02-20 00:27:00
Geezer, our new friend as discussed in this post, finally sent out (some of) my medical records this week. To be fair to him, he was very apologetic about the delay in supplying me with same, so I have elected not to hate him. Given that he works in > read more
Sinking
Published on 2011-02-16 12:31:01
Last week, I wrote about how – according to external depression measuring scales – I am apparently very severely depressed. You may recall that I was somewhat surprised at this. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been. Hindsight is a wonderfu > read more
Ragdoll
Published on 2011-02-14 19:38:38
It’s a cliche, I know, but almost every child seems to have some form of ‘comfort blanket’. For some, it is literally that – a blanket, to which the kid snuggles up. For others, it may instead be a cuddly toy, piece of clothin > read more
Here We Go Again…
Published on 2011-02-13 14:25:09
I am almost literally sick of having to write to / email the local Trust about their ongoing – seemingly perpetual – incompetence and utter fuckery. Once again, it has become necessary to do so… 15 December 2010 Dear Ms Serial-Insom > read more
The Infinite Stations of Disgust – Paul: Week 12
Published on 2011-02-08 19:03:34
Week 12 was very, very difficult. It’s got to the stage now where Paul, quite fairly I think, has been trying, trying, trying to push me as far as he can. To force me into remembering, to force me into feeling. Every fibre of my being rails aga > read more
Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics
Published on 2011-02-06 19:11:25
Statty-Wats The latest post on Karita’s blog, where she talked about having filled in the Goldberg Depression Scale, inspired me to find out exactly where I am vis a vis my depressive symptoms. My guess would have been that I was in a moderate > read more
Will I be Forced Back to Work?
Published on 2011-02-03 17:29:25
***Beware of triggers: self-harm and (potential) benefit loss*** You may recall that a few weeks ago I wrote about how the delightful Social Security Agency (SSA) had managed to fuck up my ongoing claim for Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) rath > read more
Parenthood, Loveliness, Justified Forgetfulness and Rejecting Biopsychosocialism – Paul: Week 11
Published on 2011-02-02 17:46:53
Well, I’m back from my travels around our little island, having somehow survived the unforgivable state of 900 miles’ worth of the Irish road system. Thanks for all your good wishes: we had a really nice time exploring the country, and > read more
Tally-Bye
Published on 2011-01-20 15:19:39
It seems kind of narcissistic to write this, but I will anyway. I just want to make any regular readers aware that it’s doubtful that I’ll be updating this blog in the next week to 10 days. A and I are going on what the Americans migh > read more
Benefit Claim EPIC FAIL
Published on 2011-01-19 16:40:55
Finances utterly depress me, a reality that makes them even more impossible to understand that they were in the first place. For the past few months I seem to have gone right to the line of no income, despite the fact that Employment and Support Al > read more
Boring But Important Blog News Post
Published on 2011-01-18 17:59:04
Well, it’s only important if you read this blog, but if you’re reading this…well, maybe I shouldn’t make assumptions. If you’ve got to this post at all, I’m assuming it’s not through your RSS supplier. If i > read more
Advocacy Meeting Non-Fail?
Published on 2011-01-18 09:48:38
I finally met Derbhla the mental health advocate today, after her sickness a fortnight ago. I don’t know what I was expecting her to be like exactly, but whatever it may have been, she wasn’t it. She is thin, softly spoken, with a modes > read more
Hallucinations Still Terrify Me
Published on 2011-01-17 17:15:27
You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but I’m really not. I mean, I’ve sort of grown accustomed to ‘They‘, simply because they’ve been hovering about at various intervals for over a year now. I do hate > read more
One Month Before Heartbreak: Who Cares?
Published on 2011-01-15 09:57:14
Who cares? Not the government. The One Month Before Heartbreak campaign was set up to highlight the travesty that will result from the Coalition’s so-called benefit reform. I will admit to not knowing all the specifics, mainly because it is t > read more
Oral Rape Flashback From a Seemingly Innocuous Trigger
Published on 2011-01-13 15:19:38
***Possible triggers, as if you hadn’t guessed*** I’m so tired and miserable. I want to sleep – forever. Accept that any way you will. I don’t like this consciousness. I don’t like this life. In some of my brig > read more
Rediscovering Reading
Published on 2011-01-12 10:36:40
Some of the worst side-effects of my mental illnesses have been their effects on my concentration span and ability to stay focused, which gradually fell from very good or excellent, to average, to not great, to awful – and eventually to non-exi > read more
Cutting the Crap with NewVCB and Cutting Down Defence Mechanisms – Paul: Week 10
Published on 2011-01-09 16:37:42
***As usual, please be aware of possible triggers, in this case vis a vis self-harm, dissociation and sexual abuse.*** Wey-hey! We’re now into double figures in terms of sessions with Paul, so I can now save characters in my review post title > read more
Advocacy Meeting Fail
Published on 2011-01-07 17:23:38
Hello. Not uncommonly, I don’t really know what to write, but I feel I should write something rather than find myself on the week-off-blogging slippery slope to eternal interwebs silence. In fairness, I have actually been fairly busy this wee > read more
40 Questions and a Presentation
Published on 2011-01-02 11:38:56
I know I’ve already written a proper review of 2010, but I’ve never been a person capable of ignoring these type of questionnaires. They used to permeate email, but now that so many of us are bloggers, it makes sense to have them in t > read more
Obligatory 2010 in Review Post
Published on 2010-12-31 11:00:06
SORRY FOR THE AWFUL FORMATTING OF THIS POST; I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED (IT WAS FINE EARLIER!), AND WILL FIX IT TOMORROW. I HOPE THOSE THAT CARE CAN DECIPHER IT. MUCH LOVE, PAN XXX So, I come to the end of another year as a mental health blogger &# > read more