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Currency exchange rates change daily.
Published on 2012-03-06 02:16:15
It’s very rare that I’m really embarrassed to have gone to USC. (Oh, and apparently it’s now really rare that I write. And absolutely NOT to quote that horrendous sketch-that-makes-me-want-to-kill-Keenan-Thompson-but-not-in-a-hate-crimey-kind-of-way-AT-ALL, but ”What’s up with that?” Sorry….) But today. I just. words. Can not. I just need to get on with the story because it’s making [...] > read more
I’m just a writer.
Published on 2012-01-19 12:59:16
Though my absence from this blog for the past month might suggest otherwise, I’m first and foremost a writer. It’s my craft ( > read more
GENITAL WARTS LOVE MY BLOG.
Published on 2011-12-16 19:33:47
And I’m sorry if you do too and you’re angry at me for being the laziest blogger in the entire world lately. Why? Because I exercise now (yikes!) and like living in the real world sometimes (double yikes!). But there’s nothing like a love letter from “genital warts” to remind me of why I do [...] > read more
We all win.
Published on 2011-11-17 16:35:56
Even though Ryan technically lost to Bradley Cooper for People’s Sexiest Man of the Year, I think we all won. Why? Because the Ryan Gosling protests have increased the number of sexy Ryan Gosling photos I see every day by approximately 9904%. Why else do we win? Because unlike boys, we don’t have actual boners [...] > read more
Southwest hearts head.
Published on 2011-11-04 13:07:15
Or maybe just girls who give head, I dunno. All I do know is that someone is probs about to get fired for retweeting some weiner ninja with the Twitter handle @paulinadeginge who apparently loves giving beejes: Not gonna lie, I’ve probably retweeted things along the lines of “I love giving head” (due to the [...] > read more
We all know how to flush a toilet.
Published on 2011-10-24 17:15:09
Saturday night I went to a birthday celebration. ‘Twas fantastic. A lot of that had to do with the fact that we went to a BYOB restaurant and got pretty shitty drunk for pretty cheap. My kind of situation. Having said that, there was a less-than-desirable bathroom situation. Meaning that there was one unisex bathroom. [...] > read more
I’m Snoop Dogg.
Published on 2011-10-20 12:50:54
No, I haven’t been smoking mad weed, thus explaining why I haven’t posted in over a month. That’s because I suck at life. But seriously, LOOK: Snoop Dogg, Halloween 2010 Me, Venice [Beach] a few Fridays ago after this dude let me borrow his head I’m going to send this to E! for their Fashion [...] > read more
Melissa is writing for Glamour.
Published on 2011-08-30 01:53:05
Oh, hey, it’s me. That girl that writes shit. Sorry I’ve been lazeballs ( > read more
I’m really good at friends.
Published on 2011-08-17 12:43:57
Even online ones that I don’t know and learn about [their uteri ( > read more
Her name is not Ernie.
Published on 2011-08-03 13:14:57
“Did she just say blow job? What was that about her throat? She’s ‘Ernie’????” Watch this and tell me it won’t be on tosh.0 in a week. And yeah, if you can’t make it out, she did, in fact, say “Tonight I am feeling to make you enjoy with a blow job.” And she wants [...] > read more