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Pawpa’s Last Days
Published on 2012-02-25 09:11:07
I was with Pawpa, at the hospital, for about nine hours yesterday. I got there when Jess was leaving. Mom and Granny were still there. They’ve been keeping vigil with him almost all day every day. One of his doctors came in and told us that Pawpa has pancreatic, stomach, and lung cancer and he is [...] > read more
Worst Fear Realized
Published on 2012-02-23 23:59:37
There is so much bullshit going on right now I don’t know whether to scratch my watch or wind my head. I’ve been in a form of shock over my grandfather’s health. I wasn’t prepared for this. I don’t know how to handle it in a healthy way. My first instinct was to cut because I knew that seeing my [...] > read more
Comment on Stickers: Drama and Friends by MoonaLisa
Published on 2012-02-20 06:28:28
MEAN PEOPLE SUCK > read more
Bad News
Published on 2012-02-17 18:46:29
I need to stop smoking. It’s getting too expensive, my job has made it harder to smoke during work hours, even on break, and the biggest reason of all: I just found out the best man1 I’ve ever known, my Pawpa, has lung cancer. He was rushed to the hospital last week with chest pain. He had been [...] > read more
Big Sis, Lil Momma
Published on 2012-02-16 06:46:18
I began adulthood when I was five years old. It was gradual that first year, but after my mother got pregnant by my then step-father the learning curve grew steeper with each passing month. By my mother’s sixth month of pregnancy I learned Larry was an alcoholic pervert. By her seventh month, I had [...] > read more
The State of My Physical Health
Published on 2012-02-15 23:58:32
After meeting my hematologist, in January, I started thinking about my health and what I need to do to make it better. He told me I have to stop smoking, start exercising, and lose weight. Smoking and all the extra weight I’m carrying increases my already high risk for stroke, blood clots, heart [...] > read more
Girls’ Night Out 2-1-12
Published on 2012-02-03 09:00:39
I went out with Tori and Dudney Wednesday night. First, we did a little shopping for the new apartment Tori is planning to get. Then we went out to dinner at a home cooking style cafe. It was great to sit with them and just talk and joke. We spent more time laughing than we did eating. After we [...] > read more
Ever Been So Angry…
Published on 2012-02-03 02:16:58
Perceptions and Irrational Thoughts
Published on 2012-01-26 01:55:16
People have told me I was perceptive since as far back as I can remember. At times, my perceptiveness felt like it was its own entity which I had no control over; it had its own voice in my head. Looking back on it, I mostly perceived negative things, but that was likely caused by all the bad [...] > read more
Just Lose It
Published on 2012-01-25 02:55:54
He Got Off the Pot!
Published on 2012-01-18 23:57:06
Wow. Sorry, but due to the personal nature of this post only logged in users can read it. If you have already registered then all you need to do is log in. If you have not registered yet then just click on the register link in the left sidebar or connect with your Facebook [...] > read more
You May Be Right…
Published on 2012-01-18 14:12:41
Friday night I crashed your partySaturday I said I’m sorrySunday came and trashed me out againI was only having funWasn’t hurting anyoneAnd we all enjoyed the weekend for a change I’ve been stranded in the combat zoneI walked through Bedford Stuy aloneEven rode my motorcycle in the rainAnd you [...] > read more
Shit or Get off the Pot
Published on 2012-01-17 02:59:56
He’s driving me crazy. Sorry, but due to the personal nature of this post only logged in users can read it. If you have already registered then all you need to do is log in. If you have not registered yet then just click on the register link in the left sidebar or connect with your Facebook [...] > read more
Comment on Bipolar TV Characters by BipolarChick
Published on 2012-01-05 01:38:32
It seems we have quite a bit in common... kindred spirits... I always love hearing from others like me :) I miss mania and hypomania too. Like you, my depressive episodes are more prevalent. I stopped taking the mood stabilizer and only take a moderate dose of one anti-depressant now. I've noticed a lot of improvement. I don't have the high-highs anymore but I also don't go deep into depression very often anymore either. My moods are still unpredictable, but they are far less extreme. > read more
Comment on Bipolar TV Characters by roses4u
Published on 2011-12-26 21:41:26
You have been such a help to me. I've had Bi-Polar Disorder since I was 14. Sometimes so 'manic' that I completely lost who I was, I told people outrageous things, made promises I couldn't in a million years be able to keep, I have a very high IQ and have always been attractive to men. I abused them mentally. I didn't realize what I was doing...but when I came down, I was so humiliated, and thought that I caused so much destruction that I wanted to die. Really wanted to die. I'm on a number of m [..] > read more
Comment on Where Have I Been? by pbrite
Published on 2011-05-15 22:46:23
Glad you've been busy doing positive things! I'm interested in helping promote the webzine. Perhaps we can exchange links at my site? www.bipolarlovedones.com THanks! Paul > read more
Comment on My DirecTV Personnel File by DT1401
Published on 2011-04-30 00:54:49
I am currently having issues with DirecTV appealing my unemployment claim. I worked there for six years and was a Case Manger since day one. I have never had any written warnings; I worked on projects off the clock, and was very respect by my team leaders and co-workers. We were up for a shift bid and I made a comment on Robert Wood’s (AKA: Austin Wood) FaceBook about how I was not looking forward to it and hope I don't get Melody Tucker. I mentioned that she was going around making sure h [..] > read more
Where Have I Been?
Published on 2011-04-28 14:34:51
It’s been awhile since I checked in with my personal blog because I’ve been devoted to creating and updating a webzine for bipolars. I don’t want my blog associated with it because I have learned (thanks to Shawna the Super Cunt) th > read more
Weird Dream
Published on 2011-02-08 18:14:00
After crying my eyes out for about 4 hours this morning, I was exhausted and fell asleep. I had a very disturbing dream. I dreamt about being at my brother’s funeral (he is very much alive), which then turned to my sister’s funeral (she d > read more
Remembering My Lost Babies
Published on 2011-02-08 11:00:27
I’m not good with emotions, especially grief, so I usually just bottle them up. However, grief consumed me after losing my twins. They have been gone a year now and I’m reliving the heart-wrenching pain today. I couldn’t sleep la > read more
Comment on Old Habits by whitannpaige
Published on 2011-02-08 06:06:23
I'm bipolar and I've struggled with suicidal thoughts for a couple of years now and I can never bring myself to do it or even try because I'd hate to see what turmoil I'd cause the people I'm closest to but I find the actual thoughts so relieving .. > read more
The Perfect Date – BipolarChick Style
Published on 2011-01-26 02:31:30
I have been on many dates1, most ended with sex2, but the best ones never did. I’ve had 2 perfect dates. The greatest was with Erick, the other was with Raymond. The date with Erick wasn’t traditional to say the least, in fact, none of them were. > read more
A Healed Wound
Published on 2011-01-21 23:59:58
I’m sitting here listening to Nina Simone and thinking about yesterday’s anniversary; my first miscarriage was 9 years ago. Since then I am always sad and/or depressed on Jan 20th, except this year, which has me a little upset in itself. > read more
The Stoning of Soraya M.
Published on 2011-01-13 03:33:41
I just finished watching “The Stoning of Soraya M.” and it is one of the most tragic and powerful films I have ever seen. It made me cry unlike any movie before. I cried from around the middle until well after the end, not just a few tears here a > read more
Lunar Eclipse and the Winter Solstice
Published on 2010-12-22 13:09:40
I’m pagan and this rare celestial event intrigued me. It was special and I wanted to do something different to celebrate it. The last time a total lunar eclipse coincided with the Winter Solstice (Yule) was almost 500 years ago and it will be > read more
An Unmarried Love Interest… Finally!
Published on 2010-12-18 15:17:55
Mickey aka SugarBear used Facebook to transition our colleague-ship to friendship and now a budding relationship. We met a little over two years ago. and I was instantly attracted to him, but I didn’t make any overtures. We both started workin > read more
Comment on INFP Careers by mikeg
Published on 2010-12-18 13:00:11
Carmen. That's ridiculous. If you feel like that, then maybe you are failing time and time again and are feeling guilty about it. I mean, if you never finish something, people are going to notice. I'm an INFP, I don't finish a lot of stuff and people > read more
Male Sexual Dysfunction, Is it Just in Your Head?
Published on 2010-12-17 13:43:50
Guys, we know the last thing we want to hear is…Erectile Dysfunction! I think for some of us that is worse than hearing we are mentally ill! What is more of an issue is that many of the medications we might have to take have the dreaded “Sex > read more
Tighty Whitey Guy
Published on 2010-12-04 12:04:46
My resolve to avoid married men faltered again. Yesterday, I called in to work because I didn’t feel well.1 Tighty Whitey’s spidey sense must’ve been tingling because he started texting me. We hooked up once over the summer, while his wife was > read more
Thanksgiving 2010
Published on 2010-11-26 19:38:19
I went to Grandma’s house for Thanksgiving, as usual. This year, I was smart and prepared the desserts I was taking the two days earlier, so Thanksgiving morning I wasn’t running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get ev > read more
Comment on Appeal Letter to the Short-term disability Company by Kandra
Published on 2010-11-17 04:17:24
Superb write-up. Thank you for posting this. I can't tell you how long I've searching for this information. You outline some excellent factors as well. Also I'm sure it's a bit off topic but I like how your website looks are you able to let me know t > read more
Downtime Because JustHost Sucks
Published on 2010-11-16 09:10:16
Sorry about the downtime. I had a disagreement with JustHost so I switched hosts…. again. JustHost claims they have unlimited everything, but when you use more than 10% they suspend your account without any notice. I’m still dealing with > read more
Complicated Charlie
Published on 2010-11-11 03:44:25
After evaluating the 007 situation, I further examined my relationship with Charlie. It is awkward as all hell for me. Normally, I can avoid the object of my awkward feelings, but the only way to avoid Charlie is to quit my job, or get him fired… T > read more
Comment on Communication is Fucking Hard by BipolarChick
Published on 2010-11-08 19:08:14
yeah... little did I know it was implantation bleeding and not my period. If I figured it out sooner things would be a lot different. *sigh* > read more
Comment on Self-Hatred by BipolarChick
Published on 2010-11-04 03:25:00
I'm thrilled that you decided against taking your own life and I agree that knowing you're not alone and that there are people that actually know what you're going through makes a huge difference in our ability to cope with this illness. When I bega > read more
Comment on Self-Hatred by Rspeelman
Published on 2010-11-03 08:47:35
I am so glad that I found your site. Just 4 days ago, I was ready to end it all. I am a wife and mother of 3 awesome daughters. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 1 1/2 years ago. Once in awhile, I have had suicidal thoughts. They were not > read more
Comment on Things NOT to Say to Someone with a Mental Illness by The Bipolar Diva
Published on 2010-04-24 19:29:53
I just came across your blog tonight. The one my husband says that I hate the most is "wow, if you think you've had it hard, I've had to live with you for 22 years!" Thank you for your writings, I will be back! > read more
Comment on Self-Injury by Cazey
Published on 2010-02-22 03:42:57
thanx well i really didnt have anything that i enjoyed b4 either and iv tried everything from writting to all the littlw coping skills none work 4 me and i have even ben hospitalized 4 it and i still cnt stop > read more
Comment on Happiness Has Abandoned Me Yet Again by Tallulahgirl
Published on 2010-02-12 15:44:15
I am very sorry to hear this, Jen. I will be sending you some positive thoughts and energy. Take care, Gal. > read more
Comment on Paul Passed a Major Test by Tallulahgirl
Published on 2010-02-12 15:40:42
Mrs. Flintstone: Just gotta say that bipolar runs RAMPANT in my family. Out of four females on my birthmother's side, three of us have "issues" and even my birthmother herself is on medication. Don't you realize that these disorders "run" in the f > read more
Comment on Happiness Has Abandoned Me Yet Again by th999
Published on 2010-02-08 14:59:07
did i just try and chat up myself? that's coz i don't understand the internet. I'm going to pretend i've taken my appendix out, it's believable and won't kill me. I'd never do that to my wonderful mum. there will be lots of blood though. x > read more