Billy Apathy

When Ant Meets Finger

Published on 2011-01-17 21:47:00

Turns out that ants hate the snow just about as much as I do, and every year they come into my house desperately trying to gather food for their beloved Queen. Once in awhile I'll have accidently dropped a crumb or two and the next day find it being totally devoured by a brigade of the little things. These aren't the big ants, of course. They are the small black ants that if left unchecked will have your house surrounded like the Orcs at Helms Deep. Just the other day, I was sitting on

Dead Beat Blogger

Published on 2011-01-13 21:24:00

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm something of a quitter. Like a giddy child I get all excited to start things and then later I grow up into a dead beat dad randomly deciding to buy cigarette's never to return. It's kind of a bad habit. The leaving, not the cigarette's. But that's a bad habit too. In the large scheme of things this was merely an intermission, a diaspora, right before I decide to come crawling back like a pathetic, wet, dirty, flea infested, puppy that claws at the door

I'm Not Trying to Be the Grammar Police, Honest......

Published on 2010-10-23 22:00:00

When I finished the first grade my dad told my family that we were moving to Tennessee. We lived in Oregon. I had no idea what a Tennessee was, but I knew I didn't want to go there.While on the trip I was informed that the plural they use for "everyone" or "everybody" is "Ya'll". I immediately hated it. Not kidding. I remember specifically feeling disgusted by it. When I heard their their accents, I vowed to myself that I would never get one. And I never did. Still proud of that. Whenever the te

The Holiday Stretch

Published on 2010-10-21 20:40:00

The holiday stretch goes down something like this:When October rolls around we start to notice the leaves falling, the temperatures dropping, and the sudden observance of Halloween. On Halloween we all dress up like idiots, get drunk, and celebrate death. Then we get depressed about it again the other 364 days of the year. After Halloween we become contemplative and in the mood for more holiday's, so most Americans (sorry everyone else) celebrate Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving we all think a

To Vent or Merely Meh

Published on 2010-10-14 19:02:00

When people vent to me, I have this problem of not caring.They will have their panties in a twist, ranting and raving about god-knows-what, expecting me to be equally as upset about what they are upset about. More often than naught I'll end up merely staring at them trying to act like I care but finding it difficult to give a shit. A lot of times this comes off bad and they get even more angry that I'm not angry.  Most of the time I'm thinking that they are way over-reacting and should calm

Craving

Published on 2010-10-07 20:52:00

Every morning driving into work I hear this McDonald's radio commercial that is possibly the creepiest advertisement I have ever heard. The setting is a woman picking up the phone, obviously tired from it being late at night, and on the opposite end is a male voice with a sly British accent. I imagine the male voice looks like a thin, mustachioed, creeper that wears a silk red robe. Very much like this picture of Christopher Walken, but with a British accent, and believe it or not it's even cree

Coffee Virgin

Published on 2010-10-04 23:04:00

Sometime in the beginning of my college experience some little troll told me that if you want to be one of those cool, adult types you have to drink coffee.For a long time I ignored the troll. I was a big pop drinker. I figured why should I drink something bitter to get caffeine when Mountain Dew was at the ready with it's sweet dewy goodness.Then one day I had this urge to make coffee before work. I had no idea what I was doing. I failed chemistry and my knowledge of brewing anything was limite

Apathy #4 - Laundromats

Published on 2010-09-30 09:59:00

I have never had the need to go to a public laundromat before as laundry machines have always been provided to me via parents or apartment buildings. In college I was in a class that focused on anthropology and my professor was very charity focused. He had us all choose a community service that we had to do over the weekend. I chose "Hand out 10 dollars worth of quarters to everyone in a public laundromat".Let me just reiterate that I had never been to a laundromat before in my life, so this was

Heralds and Other Announcements

Published on 2010-09-29 14:04:00

First:I put the word "Zombook" in the Urban Dictionary. Vote for it to make it a popular word!http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ZombookSecond:I made a badge. It's not that great. It kind of sucks. But if you agree with my Meese proposal you can put it on your blog or where ever you like. You could print it out and tell your friends at a house party how stupid it is too. It's an all-purpose badge. Also, it says its an award because you should be rewarded for agreeing with me about th

Defcon 5

Published on 2010-09-27 07:47:00

There was a crowd of young adolescents towering over me as I rolled back and forth like a deranged lunatic on the dirt at the school playground. I continued to mumble "Defcon 5" over and over. Some of the kids were genuinely scared that I had lost it, while others figured I was being an idiot. The latter would end up winning the bet no one placed.I was in the 6th grade. I was an average adolescent boy. Average height, build, weight. Like most of my friends I had the then popular bowl hair c