AbsurdlyAwesome.com

Quick and Awkward

Published on 2011-07-06 19:34:00

I just want to start off by saying that the title of this blog post is great for a couple of reasons. It’s the perfect face for a blog post containing quick interactions I have with strangers that usually end awkwardly. It also, and possibly more importantly, perfectly describes 90% of my sexual interactions with females, [...]

Why GameStop Can Suck It

Published on 2011-06-14 19:28:47

I recently went to GameStop to pick up a new video game, Dirt 3 in this instance, and the following conversation took place between me and the guy who was working there. This is a prime example why I hate this fucking place and will try my hardest to never go back again. Super Awesome [...]

I’m Going to be Murdered

Published on 2011-06-02 18:30:26

This post isn’t all about the funny, funny, hah, hah’s anymore. Shit is about to get real. If you never hear from me again don’t be surprised and also, please point the police men in the direction of my downstairs neighbor. What makes me suspicious of this elderly man who I could probably break in [...]

LA Noire, No Wonder I Don’t Get Laid

Published on 2011-05-25 17:35:12

As a kid, I never wanted to be an officer of the law. Even at a young age I thought of cops as dicks. Not so much because I got in trouble and they always caught me, because I didn’t, more because their job consists of driving around, telling people what to do. I always [...]

Oh Hi, Internet

Published on 2011-05-23 16:50:58

I recently told a couple people that I was thinking about starting this blog back up again. This was their response: How could I possibly say no to infectious dancing like that? I’m only a man, a super awesome, hunky, manly man, but just a man no less.

Dream Interpretation – Plastic Surgery

Published on 2010-10-21 16:12:08

I hate how spam blog commenters have gotten a lot better at tricking me into thinking they’re not complete pieces of shit. Lately I’ve been getting some comments about plastic surgery, but they sort of reference what I wrote about. I can’t tell if spammers are getting more clever or if my readers are getting [...]

I Bought a Kindle 3

Published on 2010-10-07 17:48:45

Once upon a time I was dead set against any sort of e-reading device. The thought of ditching physical books seemed completely insane to me. Then “it” happened and by “it” I mean my deep-seated addiction towards new electronic devices. I can’t help but want every new gadget that comes out. If you don’t believe me, [...]

Gambling and Football

Published on 2010-09-23 16:25:20

This past weekend I did something that I don’t usually do. I left my apartment. Not only that, but it wasn’t just to get groceries! I actually took a real-life road trip to another town in another state! It was a weekend filled with a couple of my favorite things in the world. Gambling and [...]

Advice Time: Love Triangle

Published on 2010-09-16 15:33:01

Sometimes the pleas for help I receive are so obvious to me that I can’t help but think the world is filled with idiots. Then I remember I’m trying to be more positive and decide they’re not idiots, I’m just way smarter than them. This is one of those times: I have a girlfirend but [...]

Advice Time – Meeting Men

Published on 2010-09-09 18:25:55

I may maintain this blog, but I don’t really consider myself a writer. In my opinion, you have to be good to be considered a writer. Having said that, the reason posts have been a little light lately is because I’ve been experiencing some hellish writer’s block. I sit down to write about an exciting [...]