Blog Feed: Intended to be a humorous and quirky but inoffensive look at college life
| Home | My Account | Directories |
Mom's the word.
Published on 2012-05-03 15:55:00
Hello, good people of the Interweb. > read more
Wait, There's a Phantom in this Opera?
Published on 2012-04-01 14:38:00
Good evening people of Earth. You must forgive me for failing to blog sooner. My polio was acting up, and it was difficult for me to use my fingers. Not that any of you care about my finger health...jerks.Enough small talk. On to medium talk. Perhaps in a short while we'll even venture into large talk. Can you handle it? I doubt it. You seem like a little sissy baby of a blog reader. Just kidding. You've never looked better. And, your cologne is delightful. Anyway, recently I traveled [..] > read more
Nude Stripper Girls Nude Nude Naked Nude Sexy Two Girls One Cup Nudity Found Here Come One Come All
Published on 2012-02-11 09:32:00
Good people of Earth, welcome. How are all of you doing? Have you had your vaccines? I'm doing quite well. No complaints here. I am as content as a cock on a cold day (rooster talk). Yes, yes. I am quite happy. Just kidding: Once again I am miserable beyond belief. This misery stems from one reason and one reason only: I have no idea what I am going to do with the rest of my life.Part of me always figured I'd be a song and dance man. Alas, that is highly unlikely. I can sing. Heck, I [..] > read more
Love in the Time of Eczema
Published on 2012-01-25 13:29:00
Walked into the bar. Dressed to kill. Had my skirt tucked into my underwear (if you've got it flaunt it). All eyes were on me. Saw her sitting at the bar...sitting like she owned the place (which she did)...sitting like her name was Agnes Monty (which it was).Me: Agnes.Agnes: Kate, baby, good to see ya! Me: Likewise. Agnes: What can I do you for? Me: You know what I'm after, sweetcheeks. What do you serve at this here bar? Agnes: Liquor. That ain't illegal anymore, Kate. Me: Ah co [..] > read more
Put Your Right Foot Forward in the New Year.
Published on 2011-12-31 10:26:00
My name is Katie Marovitch and I am a romance specialist, specializing in romance. Anyway, it is almost New Year's Day, and nearly one of you has been frantically emailing me thrice a day, asking me to provide my expert step-by-step advice on how to become romantically involved in the New Year.Finally! Here is my advice, you adorable blogthings! Note: advice only intended for women-people. Men-people, don't you dare read this. I'm warning you. Don't you read another line! I know you are r [..] > read more
Tyler Perry Presents
Published on 2011-12-16 13:22:00
Good people of Earth. Welcome. Please sit down. Refreshments are on me. Youch! Get them off! They're hot and they're burning my skin! Anyway, I recently voyaged to the exotic country of California (pronounced "cal eek norn ina"). For those of you who are unaware, California is a distant land where ridiculous people put small dogs in large bags and carry them around, pretending that that's normal. It's also where the world's biggest celebrities are. Like David Hasselhoff. And the cast of [..] > read more
Murder She Goat
Published on 2011-11-10 12:51:00
Walked into the police interrogation room. Dressed to impress. Had my new leather underwear on. Sammy "Birdseye" Montgomery was already at the big table. The lights were shining on him. He was as sweaty as the armpits of an obese man on the Fourth of July.Lit a cigarette.Started coughing.Tossed the cigarette.Apologized to Detective Finn for hitting him in the eye with said cigarette.Me: "Listen up, Birdseye, we've got three witnesses saying you were the one who whacked Old Lady Bouvier at he [..] > read more
Hal O. Wein
Published on 2011-10-19 11:36:00
Good people of Earth. I am so sorry that I have been absent from the blogosphere as of late. My modeling career has really taken off, and I've been traveling the world, using my fierce beauty to sell toilet paper and hemorrhoid cream. But anyway, it's October now. And that can only mean one thing: It's October now.Additionally, it means that it is time once again for my extraordinarily useful and also revolutionary suggestions for Halloween costumes, fit for any budget and style. (As long a [..] > read more
Puke, Kiss, and Tell
Published on 2011-09-23 20:56:00
Hello, all. Nice to see you again. Ew. I just puked in my mouth. And outside my mouth. On my table.Anyway, I recently started my senior year of college. And, so far nothing has been going right. Here are the reasons why: 1. Today I went for a walk to the local Whole Foods Market where I purchased overpriced sombreros, overpriced piñatas, and overpriced guacamole, of a kind most organic. On my return home, I ended up walking next to an elderly (read: about to die any second) man. Now, [..] > read more
Snoop Bloggy Blog
Published on 2011-08-23 08:11:00
Gentlefolk of the interweb, lend me your ears (or better yet, just give them to me you little cheapo de Mayos!) Last week I went to a party. It was like an after-work business party, only it didn't involve me drunkenly telling my boss that his father was a hamster and his mother smelled of elderberries. Monty Python reference. Anywayz, last week I went to a party. It was the kind of party that you go to after you've had food poisoning for the past two weeks, your husband asked you for a d [..] > read more
Half-Ton Teenager
Published on 2011-07-31 14:00:00
As all of you should know by now, I am living in the City of York this summer, working my patootskie off at my internship. What you may not know is that for the past eight weeks, I have been miserably alone, having not made a single friend in this horrible city due to my abhorrent odor. Luckily, all the crying I did on the phone to my parents about how lonely I was really paid off, and some of my family's family members came for a visit last week. Father, Mother, and Older Brother came out. [..] > read more
Women: Can't Live With Them, Can't Live Inside Them for Longer Than 9 Months
Published on 2011-07-23 18:50:00
The following post is intended for male eyes only. Sorry, ladies and men who have lady eyes. Men frequently approach me, saying things like "Katie, what do women want?" and "Katie, how can I turn the woman I'm stalking into my love-thing?" and especially, "Can you move?! I don't even know who you are, you creepy girl!" Alas, I stole the President's rubies. Ignore that. Alas, men, you are in luck, for I will finally reveal the secrets of womankind! YAY! Some of you may now be scratching your [..] > read more
Girl Eats Pudding Nude
Published on 2011-06-23 19:31:00
People of the webernet, As I mentioned in my previous post, I am working at a big corporation's headquarters this summer. Yes, yes! It's true. Overall, I am enjoying my work quite a lot. However, I am not entirely sure I fit in with the rest of m > read more
Pizza Hut. Looks like hut, tastes like pizza.
Published on 2011-06-18 08:59:00
Hello, everyone. Everyone, hello.I am from Chicago. Most of you have probably never heard of Chicago. So......Chicago was founded in 1992 by Etheline and Franklin Chicagostein. WAIT! I simply do not have time to talk history here. For a detailed > read more
Library Romance
Published on 2011-05-17 17:08:00
SOS SOS SOSCurrently sitting in the science library. Men on all sides of me. Keep getting flashbacks of Vietnam War. Wait. Was never in Vietnam War. Wondering why I am having flashbacks. Remembered why. Watched Forrest Gump last night.Made mys > read more
So I Married an Axe Murderer
Published on 2011-05-05 21:29:00
People of the Interwebby. I have important news gossip for you all:Today I fell in love. The recipient of my love was a man-person. Unfortunately for me, when I saw this lovable monsieur, I was overly-medicated on Claritin and Cheez Whiz, renderin > read more
I hate all my ants.
Published on 2011-04-06 17:22:00
This has not been a good week. In fact, it has been a downright calamity for a variety of raison d'êtres. The major reason is, of course, ant related, though: Last week I returned to school from Springtime Break-Yo-Mama's Backpack. How thrilling > read more
Spring Break-Yo-Mama's-Back!
Published on 2011-03-25 16:09:00
This week was Spring Breakage Week. And, good gravy, it was the worst week of my entire life. Let me explain. Please, oh please, let me explain!On Monday some of the other employees at the office I work at got together to file a harassment complai > read more
Backpack with Wheels
Published on 2011-02-27 20:13:00
It was when I was in fifth grade that backpacks with wheels became popular. And, as with most trends, I caught on really late (for instance, I didn't learn how to walk until I was seven). So, while all the other children in my school were wheeling a > read more
Some Very Katsi Thoughts
Published on 2011-02-12 19:23:00
If there's one thing I'm good at, it's failing miserably at everything. For instance, yesterday I tried to do a push up. I ended up doing a pull up instead (I read the sign wrong--it said "push," and I pulled). But, this post is not about my fail > read more
I Wash My Pens. I Dry My Pencils
Published on 2011-01-25 14:16:00
Today was horrible. I got sand in my butt. That was a lie. But, now that I have your attention...There are four things you need to know about me: 1.) I am a slight germaphobe. This means that I do not enjoy other people's nasty germs. 4.) I am i > read more
Open Water!? More Like Milkman's Daughter! Seriously though. This isn't a joke.
Published on 2010-12-21 09:27:00
I am afraid of the open water. Water that is open. Water that hasn't been closed for quite some time. When I was in second grade, my mum (that's British for "mom") took several of my childhood friendsies to the local swimming pool. I also tagged a > read more
Rum Balls
Published on 2010-12-19 16:49:00
Today was the kind of day that was more or less a typical day. I took several naps. I baked rum balls. I watched a movie. I pretended I could not bend my knees and walked around screaming "My knees! Oy, mate! My knees! They're not a'working! Y > read more
My father is insane. Let me count the ways.
Published on 2010-12-05 17:37:00
My father's name is Joe. And, let me tell you, the man is batpoopies insane. Honest to (nonspecific) God, anyone who has ever met him will agree with me. I would now like to share with all of you some of my favorite anecdotes about my father. The > read more
Dave!
Published on 2010-11-15 19:00:00
Lipstick. All over my face. So embarrassing. > read more
Ween, Hallo? Is Ween, Hallo Present?
Published on 2010-10-25 18:36:00
Halloween is coming soon, my children, my children's children, and my non-children. Yes, yes, the present time is a joyous time indeed. Now, some of you might not know what Halloween is, but this is unlikely so I am going to proceed as if I didn't j > read more
A Sad Day For a Very Sad Girl
Published on 2010-10-20 20:00:00
Today was incredibly embarrassing for me. I am forever banning days like this from my life!Anyway, it started off as any other day. I put on my shoes and then my underwear. I put on my belt and then my pants. I put on my lipstick and then my helm > read more
BUT MA! I'm a'scared!
Published on 2010-10-02 20:34:00
Hello, kind and generous people of Earth. Please, gather your children. I want them to read this post as well. I'm trying to bridge the gap between the generations. Anyway, this post will be dedicated to the top five things I am afraid of. I will > read more
Katie Marovitch: Kind of a Loser.
Published on 2010-09-25 09:54:00
People. It hast been a half-fortnight since the commencement of my junior year of university, and already I am feeling the pangs of childbirth and the spasms of indigestion and bloating. Not literally, of course.Anyway, this past week I have learne > read more
Food, Glorious Food!
Published on 2010-09-17 10:28:00
I'm a pretty typical big, black, and beautiful woman. But this post has absolutely nothing to do with that. Instead, I'd like to discuss my intense dislike of dorm food.Unlike vegetarians, I am not a vegetarian. This means that I eat meat every now > read more