08/30/2012 09:02:33 AM
I’m not a rock and rolla. I don’t go to concerts. I think I’ve been to twelve concerts in my life and one of them was Barry Manillow. Crowds and mosh pits terrify me. I don’t like jockeying for position and I only like to do drugs if someone sweats them onto me. I don’t [...]The post Sex, Drugs and Who Shot Rock and Roll? appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/28/2012 10:52:00 AM
Here it is. My newborn baby in its attractive swaddling: You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll want to netflix Donnie Darko. Get yours at Amazon HERE for $2.99 You can read my OPEN LETTER TO KRISTEN STEWART at AIMING LOW today. AL has some of the funniest writers online today. (I gave them my placenta to [...]The post An Open Letter to Kristen Stewart and My Book! appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/27/2012 14:46:51 PM
To be honest I’m a little sick of myself. Lately it’s been alllll about me. So this post is about you and my friend Johanna Sawalha. This isn’t a sponsored post, I’m not being paid. Johanna’s my Life Coach (she single-handedly gave me the kind of closeness I wanted with my sister and got me [...]The post From Fat Fanny To Fit Fanny! appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/24/2012 13:46:42 PM
Hello guys — Happy end of the freakin’ week. Now the kids are out of school and the work begins! I was contacted by Anya a stylist for Shoe Dazzle to tout Operation Shower; a non-profit organization that throws baby showers for expectant mothers while their husbands are deployed around the world. 100% of the proceeds [...]The post Can A Sexy Shoe Make an Army Mom-To-Be Happy? appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/22/2012 15:45:11 PM
Its 1995. Im a 30-year old insomniac because its 2 a.m. and my boyfriend Ted shouldve been here two hours ago. Hes supposed to spend the night with me so I can follow him to the mechanic at 6 a.m. to drop off his clunker truck and then drive him to Station 17 an hour [...]The post A Cheating Boyfriend Drove Me To God appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/20/2012 18:27:38 PM
I love Boden. But they don’t love me. Because my site is too pornographic. How can they not want me when I want them so badly? This is what I mean… This is not even a sponsored post. No one at Boden is paying me. I don’t even want them to pay me. I just [...]The post Is My Site Pornographic? appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/17/2012 09:36:04 AM
I love New York City. I love the way it smells like bagels and urine. I love that it causes sweat to run in rivulets under my butt and breasts in the sticky August heat. I love the whistling workmen (thank you!). I love riding the subway and wondering about the secret lives of all [...]The post Lunch At Bergdorf Goodman appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/15/2012 10:51:26 AM
Henry is 52 years old today. Isn’t he handsome? I know, I think so too. What Henry Tolerates: Me posting my nudes online. Me writing about our sex life. Me shopping like a slavering addict at Boden when I have nowhere to wear their clothes. My feet molesting his every night. Me accusing him of [...]The post My Husband Lets Me Pose Nude! appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/13/2012 17:53:26 PM
“Were born in diapers and we die in diapers,” infamous words from my cowboy grandpa Rusty as my mom, aunt, grandma and I hovered over his deathbed. “You four look like a buncha buzzards waitin to finish me off. Come here woman,” he said to my gram. She climbed into bed with him, the 250 [...]The post When Caregivers Strike appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/10/2012 00:02:48 AM
“Don’t ever tell anybody anything, If you do, you start missing everybody,” — Holden Caulfield in The Catcher In The Rye. When I went to New York last weekend for work I asked my old boyfriend John to meet me for breakfast on Sunday morning. I hadn’t seen him in almost twenty years. I searched [...]The post An Old Love And The Catcher In The Rye appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/08/2012 09:54:28 AM
Just got back from the BlogHer conference in New York where I roomed with one woman I didn’t know at all, one I’d fallen in love with online and one who I met briefly at the conference last year who gave me the cold shoulder. Four women, two beds. I was worried. Would I be [...]The post I Always Think Beautiful Women Are Bitches appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/04/2012 15:06:58 PM
Do you remember a few posts back when I was naked and thought I was fat and a lot of you said I was an idiot for thinking I was fat, so then I was naked again just to accept I wasn’t fat and am also a not-so-secret exhibitionist? If you don’t remember I shall [...]The post My Role As “Stunt Mom” appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
08/01/2012 09:51:30 AM
My daughter Bridget, who is 8, confessed she has a crush on a boy at summer camp named Jack because he didn’t kill her in War Ball today. Also he has a dent in his chin. I’d hoped my Boy Crazy gene would skip a generation. Alas, it seems my youngest is afflicted. For me [...]The post Why I Desire To Be Desired appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
07/27/2012 19:21:05 PM
I managed to convince Henry to marry me on May 27th, 2001. It only took me five years to get him to do it. Granted three of those years we were just friendly acquaintances and I was trying to get a philandering fireman to marry me instead. But I will never let Henry forget it [...]The post What I Wish I’d Known Before My Wedding! (Photos) appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
07/26/2012 02:57:30 AM
share tweet It’s June 27th, 1975. My 10th birthday. Will I get a fast growing hair Barbie? I rip through the Snoopy wrapping paper to discover … Sweet Suzie’s Starter Menstruation Kit. WTH? “Go ahead, honey, open it,” says my mom, face shining beatifically as if I were the first female astronaut. (Perhaps foreshadowing Lisa Nowak wearing [...]The post When You’re Over 45 You Might Need To Have The “Second Talk” appeared first on The Woman Formerl [..]
07/25/2012 11:53:29 AM
I need to get a job because we need the cash flow. My girls are 8 and 10 and I’ve had freelance writing jobs throughout their lives, but nothing that dominated my schedule in any meaningful way. I was also able to budget my time the way I saw fit. The job I’m chasing now [...]The post I Both Want And Don’t Want To Be A Working Mom appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
07/23/2012 09:38:43 AM
I blog frequently about Body Image. In one of my posts Love. Your. Body. Now. using the juxtaposition of nudes I took in my 20s with nudes I took in my 40s, I seem to’ve finally accepted the way my body is now. It’s true that taking nudes at 46 in duplicate postures to the [...]The post 2 Tricks To Not Feel Fat And Old appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
07/20/2012 11:59:52 AM
Here is what I know about sisters in my 47th year: The truth will set you free Ive been jealous of my younger sister, Gina, for as long as I can remember. Well, thats not completely true. She did have a really unattractive Dorothy Hamill haircut in 1975. But aside from that shes an over-achiever. [...]The post What I Know About Sisters Now That I’m In My 40s appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
07/18/2012 11:58:08 AM
I met my perfect 10 on June 3rd, 2012 at approximately 3;33p.m. My perfect 10 has long legs, cornflower blue eyes, thick, golden hair and a ribald laugh. We’re in the honeymoon phase where 10 wants to hold me and gaze deeply into my eyes and won’t ever get out of my bed. Ten says [...]The post I’ve Met The Perfect 10 appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
07/16/2012 13:05:49 PM
All people in this post are amalgams of people I know, so if you think this is about you … it probably is. My dear friend, henceforward known as Crystal, (a name I used once to great effect) called me the other night in a state of crisis. She’d forgotten something at home and returned [...]The post Monday Sins: Should Marriage and Pornography Get In Bed Together? appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
07/11/2012 19:41:40 PM
My mom lived in the bay area from the time I was 9 until I was 29. Here’s what I’ve done there: Poured a concrete slab with my stepdad Guido on Old Tunnel Road before the fire burned down his house in 1983. Sat in my nightgown on the bowsprit of the 72-foot Allegro under [...]The post Things I Hadn’t Tried In San Francisco appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
07/08/2012 22:29:33 PM
We’re on our family summer trip where we must MAKE MEMORIES, dammit! We’re “doing” the California coast. We’ve hit Santa Barbara, in El Capitan and are currently in Monterey on our way to San Francisco! Today we drove the 17-mile scenic drive down Pebble Beach. Clare (10) said, “If only Lukas (her best friend) were [...]The post Do You Always Think You Should Be Somewhere Else? appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
07/06/2012 13:35:51 PM
This is what happens when you get CABIN FEVER on “vacation” ….The post I Wasn’t Prepared For What I Found In My Iphone… appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
07/03/2012 00:03:38 AM
My grandma Ellen turned 99 today. She was born in Wakeeny, Kansas, Trego County, July 2, 1913. We celebrated with wine and cake. I lay in bed with her last night holding her birdlike, blue-veined, sun-spotted hand, the one that milked cows on her family farm of a bone-chilling November morn circa 1920. The one [...]The post A 99-year old woman is my touchstone appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
06/29/2012 07:33:05 AM
Is it just me or do you ever feel like you’re losing in the happiness race? Like if somehow you’re not in a perpetual state of satisfaction and bliss you’re a loser? And is there anything worse than being a loser? (Well, maybe being Charlie Sheen would be worse. Although he thinks he’s happy which [...]The post If You’re Not Happy Enough You Suck! appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
06/26/2012 16:29:04 PM
Okay, so here I am right before I had my Ulthera treatment Monday before last. I’m aware I look like a serial killer you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley. Showing this photo to you all is in service to science. Does this Ulthera s–t really work? Here I am at an admittedly [...]The post My Face/Neck Lift Without a Knife – 1 Week Later appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
06/25/2012 16:30:13 PM
I like to keep things light here most of the time. My challenges are fairly mild and I’d like to keep them that way. My goal is to die shallow with very little character built through adversity. However, I have my passions. Women’s Rights, not just in America but worldwide. Gay rights. Education and Poverty. [...]The post A New Mom Gets a Baby and Cancer appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
06/23/2012 16:46:33 PM
The Huffington Post Women’s editor asked me to write this story so she is entirely responsible for any lasting psychic trauma you may sustain after reading it. And so … Here’s what I know about sex now that I’m 47: If you gain weight some of it will go to your breasts. Don’t worry about [...]The post What I Know About Sex Now That I’m In My 40s appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
06/20/2012 11:08:50 AM
As a 46-year old woman I frequently blog about beauty and body image. I am not a role model. On the one hand I’ve done a series of fine art nude photgraphs and posts about loving my body now which is 20 pounds heavier than when I got married. On the other hand I’ve had [...]The post When Is The Desire To Be Beautiful Too Much? appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
06/18/2012 18:46:24 PM
Hello Ladies and Gents who might feel bad about their necks and nasal-labial folds. I had my Ultherapy treatment today. I’m still a little high on the 10 milligrams of Vicodin, 5 milligrams of Valium and 325 milligrams of Tylenol I was given so if I accidentally refer to myself as Catherine The Great in [...]The post My Face/Neck Lift Without a Knife: Ultherapy Part 1 appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
06/17/2012 10:39:30 AM
This is what makes a father great: To my own dear dad on Father’s Day…The post Happy Father’s Day: An Image Is Worth a Thousand Words appeared first on The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
06/15/2012 11:57:00 AM
My friend Jamie Lynne – recently on the cover of Time nursing her toddler Aram – is forcing me to step out of my comfort zone. At last tally she’s gotten me to join her at far-flung speakeasies for a trip to the roaring 20s, she’s convinced me to bring my family to South Africa [...]
06/14/2012 14:58:42 PM
Like Nora Ephron I feel bad about my neck. By referencing Nora Ephron, an accomplished filmmaker and novelist, I’m trying to suggest that even really smart accomplished women feel bad about their necks and I might be one of those. Should I feel bad about my neck? Am I shallow if I feel bad about [...]
06/11/2012 10:14:31 AM
It’s 2:45 on Friday. I arrive at their elementary school to pick them up from 4th and 2nd grade. They approach, sluggishly, pinched faces, sullen expressions. I’m suddenly on alert. Defo-Con 5. ME: (smiling like you would at crazed gunmen in clown costumes. I show no fear) “Hi, guys! How was your day?” CLARE: (as [...]
06/08/2012 13:43:19 PM
Advice for the weekend… Read THIS if you want to learn how to dominate your husband by getting him to dominate you. Read THIS if you think you might be losing your mind. Read THIS if you can’t stand your kids’ friends. Read THIS if you’re not sure whether you should have plastic surgery or [...]
06/06/2012 12:14:45 PM
Were going to send our daughters to the public middle school. Dont hold me to it. In a fit of helicoptering white-flight panic we might drive 5 miles away to the Pacific Palisades and send them to that middle school instead where the kids are mostly white. If you ask parents from our mostly white [...]
06/04/2012 09:25:47 AM
Here is how I know I’m in perimenopause: 1. I’m smoking hot. Not in the good way. I’ll be minding my own business hanging a corpse on a fish hook in a meat freezer in Sicily when suddenly I’m hot and sweating. I’m like a dog who can’t pant. They’re not full blown hot flashes, [...]
06/01/2012 12:55:28 PM
We were reading in bed like we usually do. You were extorting me for tickles, like you usually do. Up came your Yankees shirt and there they were. The very beginnings of womanhood on your chest. No! I thought. Not yet. She still sleeps with Gymbo-the-Clown who peeks over her shoulder with a smug grin [...]
05/30/2012 11:35:54 AM
“Are there any side effects to going off the pill,” I asked Dr. Frankenweiller, my ob-gyn. “Yes,” he replied, “Pregnancy.” And he was right. One month to the day after going off the pill I was pregnant. I blame it on deciding to practice abstinence. Let me backtrack. My father ruined any shot I had [...]
05/29/2012 11:30:27 AM
Sunday Henry and I celebrated eleven years of marriage by gorging on red meat and tippling mescal while I blew my fluey nose into cloth napkins at Boa in Santa Monica. Here are one wedding day and 11 anniversaries: We married at the Biltmore in Santa Barbara on May 27th 2001. And I wasn’t even [...]
05/25/2012 12:20:45 PM
There has been some fuckery afoot. Henry walked outside yesterday to get into our 10-year old Toyota Highlander only to wonder, “Dude, where’s my car?” It had vanished without a trace. Apparently it didn’t even put up a fight, there were no signs of struggle. No shattered glass, no oil stains, no tire marks indicating [...]
05/23/2012 12:31:21 PM
So I’ve caved in and am reading the Fifty Shades of Grey series. Henry has had to start taking vitamins to keep up with me. The books are so BAD. The heroine, Anastasia Steele (yes, I know) considers herself to be plain and ordinary (this, btw was an exercise in copying the Twilight format), but [...]
05/21/2012 12:22:01 PM
“I want you to dominate me!” I announce to Henry. “Wha…?” Henry’s asleep. It’s midnight on Sunday. I’ve flipped on the light switch. He blinks at me mole-ishly from his protective, fetal position under the duvet. “I want to be the Submissive and you be the Dominant,” I say, “I can be the Dominant in [...]
05/17/2012 01:11:05 AM
(Many of you expressed that you wanted the map of my date rape with all the warning signs in one document to make it easier to print out as a treatise for your daughters, granddaughters, nieces and friends. I have obliged. Below is the piece in its entirety). The thing about being murdered, writes William [...]
05/15/2012 12:30:46 PM
It seems many mommies’ panties are in a twist over the provocative Time Magazine breastfeeding cover. I’m not going to write anymore about the mom on the cover, I’ve already done so and it’s my hope that a conscionable media outlet will give her the opportunity to speak for herself once the dust has settled. [...]
05/11/2012 14:08:39 PM
Several years ago, during an interview with a homeopathic doctor for an ailment of mine, she mentioned she still breastfed her 5-year old son. I backed out of her office as if she were a crazed circus clown gunman, never to return again to that wackjob. If I’d seen Time’s “Are You Mom Enough?” wildly [...]
05/10/2012 13:55:02 PM
Hey guys, I’m over at Aiming Low today with Other People’s Kids Suck! I’d love to send some traffic there as there are so many great writers! Among my favorites are Alexandra from Good Day, Regular People she’s actually too nice to be a blogger, but has a rapier wit (rapier – good word) Beta Dad who’s [...]
05/06/2012 16:22:46 PM
Continued from MDRED-3 I tried to help David pull my jeans down. They were stuck. Id put on weight over the last three months and they wouldnt budge with David lying on top of me. He sensed I wouldnt fight him anymore so he levered himself off of me and jerked me around onto my [...]
05/04/2012 10:18:35 AM
Continued from MDRPD-2 9. Go out with a Group of Friends and Watch Out for Each Other. David and I were alone in the cabin. I could hear the voices of my friends and the other boys just outside. I had a choice. I could step through that door and follow them or I could turn [...]
05/03/2012 11:43:23 AM
Continued from MDRPD-1 3. Follow Your Instincts We emerged onto the frontage road that ran parallel to the beach. It was completely deserted and equipped with only one street lamp. The beach stretched a good half-mile into the distance before it touched the Adriatic. It wasn’t luminous or exotic. But dark and cold under a [...]
05/02/2012 15:47:38 PM
The thing about being murdered, writes William Langewiesche in this Mays issue of Vanity Fair, it usually comes as a surprise. The same can be said of date rape. When I awoke that bright spring morning of March 21st, 1986 in a pensione in Venice, Italy, I didnt expect the day to end on a [...]
04/30/2012 17:30:26 PM
04/27/2012 12:01:47 PM
There’s a great new article in May’s O Magazine called How Old Do I Look? It features 4 women from age 42 to 81 and divulges what kinds of aesthetic work they’ve had done; from Botox to face lifts. Revolutionary. It was so refreshing to look at their faces and know the reason they looked [...]
04/25/2012 11:05:23 AM
I have one daughter who is an avid tomboy. She loves Star Wars, trading baseball cards, shooting paintballs and wearing clothes only from the boy section of our local Gap kids. She is beautiful if I say so myself, but hates to get any attention for her looks. She likes being a stealth beauty. I [...]
04/23/2012 09:17:28 AM
First of all, don’t do it. Are you insane? But if you must the very first thing you should do is to make the Grown-Up Nectar of the Gods which consists of Gin, Tonic, Limeade. Mostly Gin. Drink copiously. Ice cubes optional. You may begin drinking two weeks before the party. This is kind [...]
04/20/2012 11:55:28 AM
Women scare the ever-loving crap out of me. I’d rather go 5 rounds in the cage with UFC fighter Allistair Overeem than be subjected to one cup of coffee with a passive-aggressive mom who doesn’t like the food I gave her kid on a play date.
04/18/2012 10:36:09 AM
On Saturday my mom had a celebration at her home for her passionate, intelligent, macho, intrepid, intractable, loving, Rennaisance-Man-of-a husband Guido who passed away last September. My mom couldn’t face a memorial until now. Among his vast array of talents Guido had the habit of personally renovating every house he and my mom ever owned. [...]
04/16/2012 10:17:54 AM
1. Throwing your expensive bachelors degree in journalism out the window to pursue acting despite everyone’s doubts will be the best thing that ever happened to you. (Portraying wild and dangerous characters helps you find your voice) 2. Failing to make a consistent living as an actress will be the best thing that ever happened [...]
04/13/2012 12:02:38 PM
I have 3 smoking broads you will love … and I’m not even one of them. At least not today. I would run off to a deserted island with any of them if I weren’t a Penis Preferer. That should be on my tombstone: “Shannon Bradley-Colleary lies here. She preferred the penis.” The first wordsmith [...]
04/11/2012 13:16:58 PM
It happened. Today on this very day as I sat hunched over in my little writing mole hole my cell phone rang. Huh. Weird area code. Chicago. Who do I know in Chicago? Frank Nitti? Al Capone? Johnny Torrio? All sleeping with the fishes. Nuthin’ ta worry about, boychick. So I answer. ”Hello,” said [...]
04/09/2012 15:38:00 PM
I have a new Monday Sin I’d like to deal with: Anger. I lost my marbles on the train platform at the Grand Canyon Saturday. Actually a more astute phrase might be “I went batshit crazy.” I was furious at Henry because I thought he’d made us almost miss the one train out of Dodge [...]
04/07/2012 11:17:40 AM
04/05/2012 00:21:20 AM
The above title is the book Im reading since Henry, the kids and I set off for the Grand Canyon via train this morning. Maybe if we take the mule ride tour we’ll be safe. Mules don’t topple over the edge and fall 350-feet. Well, maybe we’ll be staying in a fabulous, authentic lodge where [...]
04/02/2012 22:57:33 PM
We’re on spring break. There are no beer funnels. No calling parents from a Oaxacan jail. No tequila-induced tattoos of dancing Geishas on our bottoms. There’s no girls gone wild. Just girls (and Henry) gone child. We’re traveling the southwest from Phoenix to the Grand Canyon. Tonight we’re in Sedona, Arizona watching Dancing With The [...]
03/30/2012 11:49:10 AM
Good morning! It’s the beginning of Spring Break. 10 straight days of kids all the time. (Crazed cackling followed by facial tics). We’re driving to the Grand Canyon (odd hiccuping noises followed by uncontrolled flatulence). So I got nothing in terms of writing adeptness. So here’s a video I did for the Huffington Post about [...]
03/28/2012 12:23:50 PM
I slump next to Fred, who is 5, on a couch at his mom’s birthday party. Me: I can’t believe your mom is 47 because that means I’m almost 47. Fred: Do you like Star Wars or The Clone Wars better? Me: …because I was just 18 yesterday with no sags or wrinkles… Fred: …because [...]
03/26/2012 16:56:43 PM
Saturday morning at 6:30 a.m. my fanny traversing 20 years somehow made its way onto the Today Show. Producer Stephanie Becker did such a lovely job with the story that I almost couldn’t find anything wrong with myself in it! So I rewarded myself with a fajita platter. (Followed by 100 sit-ups). If you haven’t [...]
03/23/2012 10:14:08 AM
I frequently think I’m a sluggard. I mean what am I doing with my life? Am I doing enough? Shouldn’t I be more intelligent, successful, useful, worthy of just being alive? I have a housekeeper who comes once a week. What kind of indictment is that upon my character? My husband usually makes breakfast for [...]
03/21/2012 10:46:08 AM
I occasionally post at a fabulous website called MomsLa. However I didn’t realize how repressed some of their members are. I am trying to be a positive influence toward helping them jettison their Victorian impulses…
03/19/2012 11:28:41 AM
The 40s are good. You’re too old to be a young fool and you’re too young to be in Depends. In my teens and 20s I never felt beautiful enough. I thought I was too skinny, too flat-chested, too pointy-chinned, too hairy-thighed and I had no idea what to do with my thick, frizzy, Irish [...]
03/16/2012 17:45:55 PM
My friend Glinda turns forty mumble mumble mumble this month. I went to a morning surprise birthday party for her at my friend Patty’s house in Bel Air. Here’s Patty in a word… STRIPPER. Okay, five words. A MALE STRIPPER NAMED GERALDO She’d told Glinda we were all going to meet at her house to [...]
03/15/2012 13:59:15 PM
It’s official. I’ve become the ringleader in an Always Nude movement in the women over 40 subset. To witness an uncomfortable confrontation between me and a Never Nude Yvonne Condes CLICK HERE.
03/14/2012 00:58:49 AM
“Don’t let your life be all about men the way mine has been,” my mom said on the long distance line as I sobbed about my latest tortured love affair circa 1991. I was startled by her self-clarity. I didn’t know she knew that men were the monkey on her back. I was an Adult [...]
03/12/2012 20:58:40 PM
Here’s what happens when an ordinary West Los Angeles mother of two volunteers at her children’s school to teach the 10-Minute Play to 15 1st graders after she forgot to eat lunch. Blood sugar levels fall precipitously low triggering: * Shaking (students by the neck) * Fast heartbeat (followed by lying on the cafeteria table [...]
03/08/2012 12:16:50 PM
I’m not political. This isn’t a political blog. But the whole Rush Limbaugh/Sandra Fluke kerfuffle and Obama’s excoriation by the religious right has me steaming. I’m a social liberal who supports Planned Parenthood and Naral. Here’s why… My daughter Clare almost died in utero. My placenta started to fail at 34 weeks gestation, two weeks [...]
03/07/2012 09:15:33 AM
HuffPo is doing their very popular “The Moment I Knew” series. They asked me to participate:
03/05/2012 14:31:38 PM
(Ive started a Blog Project. Every Monday Ill report on my hand-to-hand combat with 5 Deadly Sins: 1. Overeating 2. Frivolous Shopping 3. Sneaky Gossiping 4. Jealousy 5. Hubris, excessive pride or arrogance. My goal: To vanquish these sins by Jan 1, 2013. Today is about Frivolous Shopping.) Henry and I are writers, which means we’re freelancers, which means when the economy sucks [...]
03/02/2012 14:43:16 PM
By now it must be apparent that I’m not a prude. Let’s call into evidence This, This and This. I like to think I’m bawdy and cheeky and just a tad bit provocative. However, what the heck is happening on the new NBC show Smash? I was minding my own business on regular network tv —- [...]
02/29/2012 14:41:20 PM
“Wow, your daughter’s got quite an arm!” says a dad sitting next to Shannon at Little League softball tryouts. “Oh I don’t know…I guess maybe she did inherit her grandfather’s eye-hand-coordination. He won the 1952 Little League World Series as a shut-out pitcher. But I don’t care how well Clare does…I just want her to [...]
02/27/2012 14:34:06 PM
Last night on the Fox 11 News I had a Cindy Brady brain freeze where I just stared helplessly at Phil Shuman and Susan Hirasuna while my brain screamed, “You’re screwing up your first TV interview. You suck. Die, you idiot, diiiiieeeeee!” Fortunately they’d cut to one of my…yes, that word again…nudes so no one [...]
02/22/2012 11:50:48 AM
The alcoholic hairdresser who inadvertently dyed my blond hair black, then blamed it on my anti-depressents, then had to strip my hair of all it’s color, which burned my scalp which caused her to pull out a veritable washtub of red wine which we both immediately downed through funnels and didn’t stop ingesting until I [...]
02/20/2012 11:38:12 AM
As many of you know I’ve been seen naked round the world the last several weeks. Starting with my first naked post Am I Really Fat? which was also published in The Huffington Post. Followed shortly by Walk The Walk, Naked Lady, which was also published in HuffPo and featured in the British Daily Mail. There’s [...]
02/17/2012 13:41:05 PM
“Friday Wrap-Up: The Photo That’s NOT on the Huffington Post” Okay. I posted one of my 46-year old nudes on HuffPo HERE. I’m up to over 5oo comments on Huffington Post which means a lot of people are looking and reading and I didn’t link back to my own site. WTHWIT?? (What the hell was [...]
02/15/2012 13:12:38 PM
(Note: This post is back by popular demand) The problem with being a mom in L.A. is that we’re celebrity magnets. Stars — who spend their lives jetting to location on the Seychelles where they down copious amounts of Cristal Brut “Methuselah” and Magic Mushrooms while having meaningless (albeit it mind-blowing) sex with fellow ridiculously gorgeous [...]
02/13/2012 10:21:16 AM
“Monday Sins: Walk the Walk, Naked Lady!” (Ive started a Blog Project. Every Monday I report on my hand-to-hand combat with 5 Deadly Sins: Today’s post is about Hubris: “excessive pride or arrogance.”) I posted nudes I took 20 years ago HERE for an article called “Am I Really Fat?” It drew such an ego-assuaging amount of attention and even [...]
02/10/2012 16:10:26 PM
“Friday Wrap-Up — Can’t Blog, Broken Toe” You didn’t know this, but I type with my toes. I do Toe Calligraphy. You can hire me for your wedding invitations. I also do Toe-Aortic Tear sutures, Toe handstands, Toe yoga, Toe tips through the tulips and Toe stalking. You’ll find my Toe prints all over George [...]
02/08/2012 09:00:47 AM
“Wednesday Epiphany: Promiscuity Changed My Life” I want to share one of my Life-Changing Moments inspired by: THE MOMENT: Wild, Poignant, Life-Changing Stories from 125 Writers and Artists Famous & Obscure In my mid-20s I went through a promiscuous phase. It wasn’t quite Pamela Des Barres’ I’m With The Band: Confessions of a Groupie. But it [...]
02/06/2012 10:06:41 AM
“Monday Sins: What Jealousy Drove Me To Do…” (Ive started a Blog Project. Every Monday I report on my hand-to-hand combat with 5 Deadly Sins: 1. Overeating 2. Frivolous Shopping 3. Sneaky Gossiping 4. Jealousy 5. Hubris, excessive pride or arrogance. My goal: To vanquish these sins by Jan 1, 2013) Today’s post is about Jealousy: Jealousy’s a bitch hound from hell. A [...]
02/03/2012 14:45:32 PM
“Friday Wrap-Up: Some Lovely Man-Flesh to Start the Weekend!” Bridget, Clare and I were just minding our own business bicycling up the strand in Venice when we stumbled upon this magnificent scene…
02/02/2012 13:17:31 PM
Hello mon readers: today I’m writing at MOMSLA about my stalking-Julia-Roberts days and my ineffable connection with Billy Bob!
02/01/2012 10:05:47 AM
“Wednesday Epiphany: She Deserved to be Judged!” I went shoe shopping with my friend code-name Tango 5-6. She wanted a pair of 200$ Mephistos. “Do you think that’s too much money for a walking shoe?” she asked. “No hey, you’ve got to be comfortable when you walk.” So she bought them. Then I was having [...]
01/30/2012 12:44:51 PM
Monday Sins: I See You’ve Managed To Get Your Nudes Out Again! (Ive started a Blog Project. Every Monday Ill report on my hand-to-hand combat with 5 Deadly Sins: 1. Overeating 2. Frivolous Shopping 3. Sneaky Gossiping 4. Jealousy 5. Hubris, excessive pride or arrogance. My goal: To vanquish these sins by Jan 1, 2013) Today’s post is about Hubris: excessive pride. Posting [...]