Humor Articles

Ben Carson Loses Pants While Hunting Unicorn in Kitchen

Posted on 12/29/2015 05:47:10 PM

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the struggling Republican presidential campaign of neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson announced the candidate would not be available to the press for the entire day. The press had been waiting for planned remarks from Dr. Carson when reporters were told ...

Conservative Uncle Gives Himself Immunity from Providing Evidence

Posted on 12/25/2015 07:45:48 PM

AST PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Today, conservative Uncle Dick Goop gave himself immunity from having to provide evidence in support of his political arguments while he attended a Christmas dinner at his mother-in-law's house. Goop, a resident of neighboring Massachusetts, refused to ...

O'Reilly, Megyn Kelly Serenade Black Santa with "White Christmas"

Posted on 12/24/2015 01:13:24 PM

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Fox News entertainers Bill O'Reilly and Megyn Kelly were detained by the New York City Police Department (NYPD) for stalking a black Santa Claus down Sixth Avenue and serenading him with the Christmas song "White Christmas." Fox News and the ...

Trump Suspends GOP Presidential Campaign, Chastises Supporters

Posted on 12/23/2015 02:42:58 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump announced he was "giving America an early Christmas present" and suspended his campaign. Trump confessed his presidential run was the type of theater only a master political satirist like him could pull off, ...

Santorum: Women Back in Kitchen Only Way to Stop Right-Wing Domestic Terrorism

Posted on 12/21/2015 08:43:25 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania declared the only way to stop male Caucasians from using their guns and dangerous right-wing ideology in acts of domestic terrorism was to put women back in the kitchen. ...

Woman Outraged No One Keeping Her from Saying "Merry Christmas"

Posted on 12/20/2015 07:29:34 PM

PENSACOLA, FLORIDA (The Nil Admirari) - Today, avid Fox News viewer and Glenn Beck listener Nora Jolly declared she was outraged no one was stopping her from saying "Merry Christmas." Jolly - a casual church-goer who prefers to converse with God directly - told TNA she actively attempted to provoke multiple ...

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin Sexting for Over Six Months

Posted on 12/19/2015 03:11:31 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump confirmed reports he had been sexting with Russian President Vladimir Putin for over six months. Governor of Ohio John Kasich - a rival Republican presidential candidate, who refuses to make public the "very ...

Turkey Buying Oil from Small Businessmen in All-Black Clothing

Posted on 12/16/2015 08:48:14 PM

ANKARA, TURKEY (The Nil Admirari) -  Earlier today, an anonymous high-ranking source inside the Turkish government informed TNA that Turkey was illegally purchasing oil from small businessmen wearing all-black clothing. The source asserted many of the small businessmen were very likely active members ...

"Militia" Not Referring to Militias Formed in Friend's Backyard

Posted on 12/15/2015 12:19:03 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari)- Earlier today, TNA released a report following its consultation with Second Amendment experts from every academic corner of the United States regarding the "well regulated militia." The scholars confirmed the Second Amendment was not referring to treasonous militias formed ...

Corporate Media: Bernie Sanders "Too Serious" for American People

Posted on 12/13/2015 04:43:09 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the largest corporate media outlets in the United States confessed they were purposely ignoring U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont - a Democratic presidential candidate - as much as they could. The corporate media syndicate asserted Sanders was "too serious" ...

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