Humor Articles

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Millennials Painfully Aware of How Much Needs Fixing in Wake of "Most Selfish Generation"

Posted on 09/23/2015 12:52:40 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, American millennials reflected on how many things needed to be fixed in the wake of their parents, which they concluded were members of the "Most Selfish Generation" in American history. Millennials realized the Most Selfish Generation was giving them "..

GOP to Defund Dept. of Reality After "Shutdown Bad for Economy" Report

Posted on 09/22/2015 12:16:22 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the Department of Reality released a report warning Congressional Republicans a government shutdown would disrupt significant government spending and harm an already weak economy. Republicans responded to the "Shutdown Bad for Economy" report by ignorin..

BREAKING: Scott Walker Ends Candidacy to Destroy America's Economy

Posted on 09/21/2015 05:17:37 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This evening, Republican presidential candidate and Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker announced he was ending his candidacy to destroy America's economy by means of trickle-down economics. A somber Walker asserted he had reached the decision "due to a complete lack of i..

Fiorina Seeks USS Ronald Reagan as Golden Parachute When Impeached

Posted on 09/21/2015 09:27:50 AM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate and fired Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina announced her desire to have the USS Ronald Reagan - a Nimitz-class supercarrier - as "a golden parachute" when Congress impeached her for gross incompetence as president. Fio..

Congressional Republicans Prepare Cage, Rotten Food for Pope's Visit

Posted on 09/20/2015 11:56:16 AM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Congressional Republicans announced they were preparing for Pope Francis' Thursday morning address to a joint session of Congress. Party leaders said they had constructed a gold-plated cage for the pontiff to sit in, and collected rotten food for Republicans to..

Brave Analysts Laboring To Find Any Facts From Last Republican Debate

Posted on 09/19/2015 11:49:08 AM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, over two thousand analysts from the conservationist organization Help Save Republican Facts announced it still had not found a single fact voiced by any Republican presidential candidate during Wednesday's debate hosted by CNN. Help Save Republican Fact..

+100 Victim Serial Killer Pays Fine, Avoids Trial, Prison, And Death Penalty

Posted on 09/18/2015 09:48:39 AM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - General Motors, a person who confessed to killing over 100 people using a defective ignition switch in automobiles it manufactured, agreed to pay $900 million yesterday. This morning, GM announced it was "very sorry" for the first degree murders it was responsible for..

Hillary: Sanders Giving Poor & Middle Class "Too Much Attention"

Posted on 09/17/2015 04:33:36 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton criticized rival Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont for giving poor and middle class Americans "too much attention." Clinton argued Sanders was risking not only her ascension to the ..

America Loses Second Republican Debate

Posted on 09/16/2015 11:51:44 PM

SIMI VALLEY, CALIFORNIA (The Nil Admirari) - Tonight, Republican presidential candidates said a bunch of stuff to an audience that thought it knew a bunch of stuff. The candidate who led in the polls prior to the debate was the target of all the other candidates, who gave vague answers to softball q..

98.6% of Trump Supporters Unable to Spell or Define "Xenophobia"

Posted on 09/16/2015 11:21:34 AM

98.6% of Trump Supporters Unable to Spell or Define "Xenophobia"   WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - A TNA study released today showed 98.6% of Donald Trump's supporters were unable to spell or define "xenophobia." The study also showed roughly the same results for those who were asked to spell o..

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