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Bernie Sanders Asks Republicans for Benghazi Hearing

Posted on 10/23/2015 01:13:21 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont requested the Republican-led Select Committee on Benghazi send him a subpoena to answer questions about the September 2012 attack.  Sanders asked Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-SC-04) - the co..

Hillary Reads "The Pet Goat," Ignores Benghazi Questions

Posted on 10/22/2015 02:02:57 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton ignored all questions from the Select Committee on Benghazi, which infuriated Republican committee members. Rather than listening to and answering questions, Clinton gave the whole ..

Wall Street Tells Joe Biden It Already Owns Hillary Clinton

Posted on 10/21/2015 08:48:49 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Vice President Joe Biden announced he would not run to be the Democratic presidential nominee in 2016. Biden cited a phone call "from some great friends on Wall Street," who told him former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had already won the Democrat..

So You Want to Enter a Writing Contest

Posted on 10/21/2015 08:43:33 AM

If you are reading this, congratulations! After squandering away many years “polishing your voice,” you have finally won the struggle against your defamatory insecurities and decided to rally just enough confidence to submit an original composition to a panel of petty, judgmental strange..

Your Cat Is Not Trying To Kill You

Posted on 10/21/2015 08:41:54 AM

Don’t believe the nonsensical propaganda you read in pop-lit and websites. Your cat is not trying to kill you. There is simply no reliable evidence supporting these presumptive murderous intentions. I don’t dispute that if you were to suddenly drop dead, your feline companion w..

Climate Change Reframed for GOP: "Oceans Invading U.S."

Posted on 10/20/2015 11:05:06 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, climate change scientists reframed their argument to appeal to Republicans by releasing "Oceans Invading U.S," a new documentary film warning Americans about a slow, insidious invasion of American soil by tyrannical oceans that surround the United States. TNA v..

Rhode Island Exiles Lincoln Chafee After Democratic Debate

Posted on 10/14/2015 12:49:07 PM

PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations announced it was exiling former Governor Lincoln Chafee to Block Island, located approximately 13 miles south of the Rhode Island coast, following his performance at last night's Democra..

Carson "Wouldn't Just Stand There" If Nuclear Warhead Dropped on Him

Posted on 10/11/2015 05:12:36 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and retired neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson announced he "wouldn't just stand there" if a nuclear warhead was dropped on him. Carson stated he "didn't care" whether the nuclear warhead "came from Russia or Ethiopa or wherever," bec..

Hillary Ingested Shrooms Prior to Statement Opposing TPP

Posted on 10/08/2015 03:04:23 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, the campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton announced the candidate was under the influence of shrooms when she voiced opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) yesterday. Hillary Clinton confirmed she ingested "a lot" of sh..

O'Reilly: Corporate "Free Stuff" Good, American "Free Stuff" Bad

Posted on 10/07/2015 02:09:42 PM

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Fox News loose canon Bill O'Reilly stated the government giving corporations "free stuff" was patriotic, but the government giving the American people "free stuff" was "absolute socialism" and "outrageously anti-American." O'Reilly presente..

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