Humor Articles

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Sarah Palin Promised Secretary of Defense for Trump Endorsement

Posted on 01/21/2016 09:45:19 AM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, a source inside the Republican presidential campaign of loose cannon billionaire Donald Trump announced former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin had been promised the position of Secretary of Defense in exchange for her endorsement of Trump for president. ..

Man: "I'm from Half of Working Class that Would Kill Other Half"

Posted on 01/17/2016 02:11:31 PM

SEEKONK, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, a Massachusetts man declared he was from the half of the working class that would kill the other half of the working class for a reasonable price. Thomas Basil, a Republican construction worker and married father of two, told TNA he "would b..

Jeb Bush Ignoring Staffers Hinting it is Time to Suspend Campaign

Posted on 01/16/2016 02:06:23 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, dozens of senior staffers working for Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush announced the former Governor of Florida was ignoring their hints it was well past time to suspend his lackluster presidential campaign. Bush's campaign staff explained they contin..

Trump Attacks Bernie Sanders for Lacking Policy on Rosie O'Donnell

Posted on 01/13/2016 05:03:23 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and empathy-handicapped billionaire Donald Trump criticized Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont for completely lacking a policy on how to combat comedian and actress Rosie O'Donnell. Trump c..

Trump Requires Pledge of Loyalty, Obedience Tattoo to Attend Rallies

Posted on 01/10/2016 05:44:02 PM

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - Today, Republican presidential candidate and autocratic billionaire Donald Trump announced anyone who wanted to attend his rallies would need to take an oath of loyalty to him, and either show guards what he called a "Trump Obedience Tattoo" or be willing..

Tax Cuts for Wealthy, Gov't Services Cuts to Americans a Coincidence

Posted on 12/30/2015 11:25:54 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, the conservative think tank Work Harder, America (WHA) released the results of a study on tax cuts for the wealthy, and government services cuts for the vast majority of Americans. The study clearly showed the wealthy paying less in taxes had nothing to do with..

Ben Carson Loses Pants While Hunting Unicorn in Kitchen

Posted on 12/29/2015 05:47:10 PM

BALTIMORE, MARYLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, the struggling Republican presidential campaign of neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson announced the candidate would not be available to the press for the entire day. The press had been waiting for planned remarks from Dr. Carson when reporters were to..

Conservative Uncle Gives Himself Immunity from Providing Evidence

Posted on 12/25/2015 07:45:48 PM

AST PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND (The Nil Admirari) - Today, conservative Uncle Dick Goop gave himself immunity from having to provide evidence in support of his political arguments while he attended a Christmas dinner at his mother-in-law's house. Goop, a resident of neighboring Massachusetts, refused ..

O'Reilly, Megyn Kelly Serenade Black Santa with "White Christmas"

Posted on 12/24/2015 01:13:24 PM

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, Fox News entertainers Bill O'Reilly and Megyn Kelly were detained by the New York City Police Department (NYPD) for stalking a black Santa Claus down Sixth Avenue and serenading him with the Christmas song "White Christmas." Fox News and the..

Trump Suspends GOP Presidential Campaign, Chastises Supporters

Posted on 12/23/2015 02:42:58 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump announced he was "giving America an early Christmas present" and suspended his campaign. Trump confessed his presidential run was the type of theater only a master political satirist like him could pull off..

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