Humor Articles

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Far Right Asserts Scalia Murdered By Brainwashed Bald Eagle

Posted on 02/16/2016 01:41:51 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, far-right radio personalities claimed the death of Justice Antonin Scalia was part of an elaborate plan concocted by the White House to appoint a liberal replacement to the Supreme Court. The notable far-right rabble rousers asserted Scalia was assassinated by ..

Republicans Think it Wise to Show Inability to Govern in Election Year

Posted on 02/15/2016 12:10:18 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - This morning, the Republican Party confirmed it thought it was a good idea to remind Americans of its complete inability to govern in an election year. The GOP announced it had determined the best way to do this was to block whoever President Obama decided to nominate..

President Obama Nominates Himself to Supreme Court

Posted on 02/14/2016 04:23:06 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Today, President Barack Obama announced he was nominating himself to fill the vacant seat on the Supreme Court following Justice Antonin Scalia's death. Obama declared he looked forward to seeing whether Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and his Republican peers ..

Man Observes It's Cold Outside, Tries to Embarrass World's Scientists

Posted on 02/13/2016 01:26:31 PM

BROCKTON, MASSACHUSETTS (The Nil Admirari) - Today, a Massachusetts man with a record of following right-wing media observed it was cold outside, and shared his observation on social media to embarrass the world's scientists. Thomas Basil, a construction worker and married father of two, used his su..

Hillary: Have Fun Burning in Hell, Women of New Hampshire

Posted on 02/09/2016 09:23:55 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Tonight, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told the women of New Hampshire to "have fun burning in hell" after it was clear she had lost the state's Democratic primary election to U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont. Cl..

Hillary Encourages Women to Vote for Sarah Palin, Carly Fiorina

Posted on 02/07/2016 03:13:56 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton repeated her belief that being a woman was a professional qualification for the presidency, and told women they must vote for her because she is also a woman. In doing so, S..

Hillary Reminds Americans Wall Street Bribes Completely Legal

Posted on 02/05/2016 05:49:36 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reminded Americans the speaking fees and other forms of compensation she had received from Wall Street were completely legal. Secretary Clinton's public service announcement..

F-35 Joint Strike Fighter Capable of as Many as One Mission per Month

Posted on 02/04/2016 10:10:46 PM

THE PENTAGON (The Nil Admirari) -  Today, the Pentagon released a report on the famously successful F-35 Joint Strike Fighter. The report found the F-35 was capable of performing one mission per month due to much-needed maintenance between missions, and Lockheed Martin claimed it was a safety f..

Hillary Surging with Americans Harboring Low Expectations, No Ambition for Better Future

Posted on 01/31/2016 04:28:08 PM

WASHINGTON (The Nil Admirari) -  Today, a TNA survey found Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was surging with Americans harboring low expectations and no ambition for a better future. Clinton held a dominant lead over her rival U.S. Senator Bernie S..

L.A. Hole Releasing Desperately Needed Methane "Vitamins" into Earth's Atmosphere

Posted on 01/30/2016 12:23:23 PM

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA (The Nil Admirari) - Earlier today, Sempra Energy declared the uncontrolled, gargantuan natural gas leak at its Aliso Canyon Oil Field was actually releasing desperately needed methane into Earth's atmosphere. The parent corporation of Southern California Gas Company (SoCal) ..

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