Blog Title: Satirium > Satire | Parody | Humor

Bush Library Plans Waterboarding Exhibit

Visitors Will Be Able to Experience Genuine ‘Near Drowning’ The Board of Directors of the George W. Bush Presidential Library voted 13-0 to establish a waterboarding exhibit in which visitors who pay an extra admission fee will be subjected to the controversial “enhanced interrogation” technique. “As the unanimous nature of the vote indicates, the board was quite read more..

Obama Plans to Retool ‘Yes We Can’

Focus Group Fills Football Stadium, Screams Out Slogans How inspiring might it be to hear a vast, enthusiastic crowd gathered in a stadium chanting over and over, “Perhaps we can! Perhaps we can!”? Or the same crowd chanting this: “Maybe we can! Maybe we can!” That was the scene last week at the high school stadium in read more..

To Prepare for Bo, Obamas Slept with Mechanical Dog

It Snored, Scratched Fleas, Passed Gas — All Under the Covers Now it can finally be revealed: For the past two months, Barack and Michelle Obama have slept each night at the White House with a computerized mechanical dog that insisted on being under the covers and nipped at human toes if there was too read more..

Dick Cheney to Have Scowl Surgically Removed

Goal Is Restoring the ‘Kinder, Gentler’ Cheney of Laramie School Days Former Vice President Richard B. Cheney is expected to undergo surgery in coming weeks to remove the famous scowl that intimidated everyone from Osama Bin Ladin to a second grade Indiana school girl who broke out in hives every time she saw the vice president read more..

Obama’s New Office of Regifting Stakes Out Its Turf

The Queen’s iPod, Ear Buds and Music Were All ORPTUM Hand-Me-Downs The Obama Administration’s controversial gift of an iPod to Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II provided an early boost for the new White House Office of Regifting and Presidential Tchotchke Utilization Management. “We’re thrilled, simply thrilled with the attention that President and Mrs. Obama’s gift received,” said read more..

After Giuliani Exit, Squeegee Bums Seek New Patron

Who Will They ‘Help’ Next? Ron Paul Could Sure Use a Boost Now that Rudy Giuliani has exited the presidential election fray, the roving squeegee bums who had pursued the former New City mayor from the Iowa caucuses to the Florida primary are looking for a new candidate to support. The word “support” is used with caution, read more..

Erudite Political Junky Seeks Fun and Games With Same

Pheromones Run Rampant in Election Year Personal Ads Law and Order White Jewish Male Liberal and adorable didactic mensch has searched the world for a kindred, sophisticated, adventurous Gothamite who is convinced Rudy Giuliani is the answer to all our national forebodings and will gladly seek out and tattle on every illegal maid in her read more..

Finally, FCC Acts on NYPD Blue’s Naked Rear End

It’s Time to Rein-in The FCC and Outsource Nudity to Blackwater or Boeing I saw that NYPD Blue episode where the little kid walked in and saw a naked female rear end. I mean, like, that was some frightening rear end! It traumatized me, too, to see that, and I’m not even a little kid. Gave read more..

Clintons Plan to Share Oval Office after Election Win

A Shared Office Would Amplify ‘Two Presidents for the Price of One’ Effect Increasingly confident that Hillary will win the Democratic nomination and be elected president, the Bill and Hillary Clinton have hired an architect to redesign the Oval Office so that the two of them could share it. Jerome Winterblast, a renowned specialist in oval-shaped office read more..

Could Americans Spit Their Way out of a Recession?

It Might Sound Revolting, But Tough Times Require Aggressive Solutions As the Federal Reserve, White House and Congress scramble to head off or at least ameliorate an economic recession, there is another, cheaper approach: spit. Ask the American people to collect their spit — as much spit as possible — and turn it in at a national read more..

How to Fight the Right and Score a Big Win

These Handy Tips Will Breathe New Life into Republican Presidential Hopes Go ahead and accept the invitation to the Rudy Giuliani cocktail party fund-raiser at the MacMansion of the president of the local chapter of Close the Borders Now, No Exceptions. Meet and greet as you work the room, saying things like “Isn’t it terrible the read more..

Missing White House E-Mails? Just Head to Fort Meade

At Your Fingertips: Any E-mail, Sent to Anyone, Anywhere at Anytime News Item White House Deleted E-Mails between 2001-2003 White House e-mail from the first three years of the Bush administration doesn’t exist because it was routinely recorded on tapes that were later “recycled,” the White House’s chief information officer said in a court filing. During the period, read more..

Guru Says: Use The Grand Canyon Creation Litmus Test

If You Want to Be President, Don’t Waffle When Answering This Question Confused about who should be the next president? Dazed by all the claims, rebuttals, spinmeisters, temper tantrums, mudslinging, obfuscation, debate blather and outright falsehoods? Would you like an easy way to immediately eliminate some candidates? Then request that your favorite debate moderator ask this question read more..

Presidential Candidate Rear End Smackdown Nixed

What Would Thomas Jefferson Have Said? The National League of Nude Voters said yesterday that it has abandoned efforts to organize an event in which all the presidential candidates would gather in a room and expose their naked rear ends en masse. “Today is a dark day for the Jeffersonian ideal that an informed citizenry is the read more..

Who — or What — Is Hannah Montana?

Could a Presumed Humanoid that ‘Sings’ Be the Next President? There has been much ado lately about the mysterious “Hannah Montana”. Here is a handy guide to help you understand that, as a general rule, few things are ever what they seem. Keep this guide close at hand at all times, since there are few signs read more..