A friend of mine was invited to a one of those theme-costume parties that’s being thrown to celebrate a colleague’s birthday. Each guest is asked to bring a six-pack of different beers and wines, so the group can taste the different variations. Basically, this is going to be a drinking party.
All this would sound fun if you were a person who liked to drink and socialize with other drunk people. It would sound fun if you liked to get all dressed up and be the center of attention.
My friend doesn’t drink nor is she comfortable in large social gatherings like this one — so, there’s nothing at this party that is appealing to her. She doesn’t even care for the birthday girl all that much.
So, why is she going? Well, she doesn’t want to go, but she’s going because she feels pressure from the group.
Because she’s created this internal conflict within herself, she’s full of anxiety and angst about this upcoming event. She’s in a panic about what to wear, what beer/wine to bring, what to do at the party, how to act, how long to stay… and the list goes on and on.
In short, she’s a mess…
She’s a mess… not because of the party… but because she’s said YES to the group… when she really wanted — and needed — to say, “No, thank you.”