Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. :)
-One atom says to another atom - I think I've lost an electron. Other atom says- Are you positive?
What does a chemist bring as a dessert while camping? A 'gram' cracker.
-A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: "
How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and
says: "For you, it's no charge".
-What did one titration tell the other?
Let's meet at the endpoint.
-What is the dullest element?
-how do you call a tooth suspended in a litre of water? a 1 molar solution
-A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".
Chemist's last words
- And now the tasting test...
- And now shake it a bit...
- In which glass was my mineral water?
- Why does that stuff burn with a green flame?!?
- And now the detonating gas problem.
- This is a completely safe experimental setup.
- Now you can take the protection window away...
- Where do all those holes in my kettle come from?
- And now a cigarette...