As promised, today I will attempt to enlighten you with a mom’s perspective of the characters in E.L. James infamous Fifty Shades trilogy. Supreme warning here: THIS ENTRY CONTAINS SPOILERS. Please do not read anymore if you haven’t read the books and don’t want me to spoil your thigh-squeezing experience.

Anastasia Steele (Miss Steele, Miss Grey, Ana, “Oh… Ana!,” You.Are.So.Sweet)
I don’t get it. As a mom, I am wondering is it possible there are still 22-year-old virgins out there? Really? Or did E.L. James just throw that in for added effect? Personally, I only have sons, so while I won’t need to display a rifle above our mantle or purchase a gun rack for our truck, I have other scare tactics in mind. Like pulling out my husband’s old medical books and showing the boys a picture catalog of sexually transmitted diseases. Before their first date. And to their first date. In the car. As I’m preparing to drop them off at some G-rated film. And stuffing condoms in their pocket just in case they sneak off to the NC-17 one and their date is wearing a short skirt. (This is, of course, assuming that Nate & Matt at some point learn enough table manners to score a date… any date.)

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