Usually I am the type of women that strongly believes that women shouldn’t be afraid to be assertive. I know women who have taken to asking a man for his card instead of giving out her phone number so that she can be in charge of whether a call will be made rather than being the one waiting for the call. I also have no problem with a woman asking a man on a date if she chooses to. The one area where I do feel strongly that the man has to take the lead is when it comes to proposing.
It may sound sexist , but usually once a women has put a large amount of time and energy into a relationship she more often than not wants to get married. The ideal situation is that once a woman has reached this point, the man that she’s been dating will also have reached this point. Unfortunately, this is not always the case.
So, what should a woman do when her hopes of tying the knot are met with “not now?” Some women walk away realizing that they are both at different points in their lives when it comes to what they want out of a relationship. Many others see this as a signal to try to convert him into someone who wants to get married. The tactics that women choose to use on their quest to get him to want to be married vary tremendously, but here are some of the most common.
Hinting- Some hinting is subtle like the woman who in November starts slipping into the conversation that Christmas is a great time to get engaged. Of course, some women are very direct and will announce to their man “that’s the ring I want when we get engaged” as they pass the window of a jewelry store.
Nagging and Begging- This is the point where any traces of subtlety are gone and the topic of when they will get married dominates most conversations that are started by the woman. I do know some women that have managed to get an engagement ring this way, but for the most part the ring was a stalling tactic and they still have not gotten married.
She Proposes to Him- Like nagging and begging, this is a tactic that I believe never ends well. If he were ready to be married he would be proposing, and if he isn’t proposing he either isn’t ready to be married or he has some doubt about marrying her.
No good can come from trying to get a man to marry you if he isn’t ready. As much as it may hurt when any of these tactics don’t work, it is still better to be rejected by a man who isn’t ready to get married than it is to end up marrying such a man.
To read our latest post about men and marriage visit Why Won't He Marry Me?