I am one of the hip new generation of computer users that have chosen to use one of those fancy looking, small, cute little netbook computers that contain about as much computing power as the Casio calculator wristwatch that I had when I was 12, as apposed to one of those much larger (about 4 inches wider and deeper), much heavier (actually probably a little bit lighter), much less "cool" laptop computers. 

You know, your HP's, your Sony's, Your Mac's.

Anyway, this thing is great.  I can email and surf the internet at the same time...
   well,  I can surf a couple of differenet pages while another program is running...
   Ok, I can check my email and open my browser, but anything else causes it to crash!!!

Truth is this thing sucks, but...
Its mine and I love it.


Even though I love it, we have not always had the best relationship.

Just after I got it, I was dusting off the keyboard and my big fat fingers knocked off the letter "Q".  I was able to get it back on, kinda, but it looked so sad, so broken, so NOT new.

Then, a few months ago I dropped it.  At first I thought it was fine because the podcast I was listening to kept on playing, but when I picked it up, I was left with this really cool abstract art piece where my screen had once been.  I had shattered the LCD screen.

In an effort to restore my little netbook to the former glory it once had, I decided to replace a few things.  First the then the screen because it was basically worthless without one of those, then the keyboard.  I made it look all new and shiny once more, and then the speakers blew.  Luckily one of my coworkers had a fried laptop so I salvaged the speakers completing the restoration. 

You would think that nothing else could go wrong, but of course you know it will.  Last week the trackpad died.

Now, a laptop computer is pretty much worthless without a functioning trackpad.  I mean, you can use it, but it is quite hard to navigate using the tab, shift, and control keys.  The thing that is most frustrating about the trackpad situation is that I have the know how to fix it, but I can't.  When I contacted the manufacturer, they told me they do not sell any replacement parts.  That means, no new trackpad, and no “NEW”computer.

Now, I am the very proud owner of a large and lovely looking shiny black brick. That was until Father's Day, oh what a day. 

On Father's Day, TVWM bought me a fancy new wireless optical mouse.  State of the art.  Perfect for my computer.  The reciever dongle is so small it seems like it is part of the computer.  Almost totally integrated.

It is as if this wireless optical mouse was made specifically for my computer! And that is when I discovered something unexpected and amazing.  I discovered the joy and freedom of the mouse. 

Who knew that a 30 year old hunk of plastic and wires, or in my case no wires, could bring such excitement?



That same night I received this glorious gift, I decided to test it out by playing a game while laying down in bed.  While I was playing  I discovered that I was a little cold.  What to do? 

Do I keep playing?  

Do I get warm?  
Then this crazy Idea hit me, what if I did both?  So I tried it out. 

I put my arms under the covers, mouse included, and used the flat surface of the mattress to continue the game.  I barely even had to move my digits and I was whiskin cards from one side of the screen to the other.  Matching suits, scoring points, stacking cards until at last,FIREWORKS.  I beat solitaire!  Arms nice and toasty by my sides, and I beat solitaire.  No lifting a finger, no cold elbows, just pure exihlirating victory.

The game, however, is of no importance, its the mouse that matters.  Its the freedom I experienced.  The freedom of being able to play a game on my computer with my arms covered, unexposed to the elements.  The freedom of not being tied to my trackpad.  The freedom I could never had experienced had my computer not been broken.

Then it came to me.

I am my computer.  
I need to be broken to be fixed.  Not only broken, but broken in such a way that I can't fix myself, in such a way that the only way out of my brokenness is to turn myself over to Christ.  If I am not broken I can never know the joy of freedom.  

It is only when I am broken and powerless that I can turn to Christ, that I can give up myself and my ways, that I can even see what could be.  What should be.  It is in my brokeness that Christ comes in, takes away those things that I could NEVER see living without, and replaces them with something that seems infinitely better. 

May Christ replace your broken trackpad, may he find you the perfect wireless optical mouse, and may you see the FREEDOM of computing with toasty warm arms.