Why do women try so hard to keep the passion alive in a relationship and why are men so hot, cold, hot, cold?
One of the reasons men pull away and go "cold" is because of CONFLICTING FEELINGS. If a guy is overwhelmed by stress, feelings, problems etc, he is going to retreat into his man cave to try to "work it out".
So if your guy is going hot and cold, it's because he is trying to work through all of his internal conflicts and feelings about you.
He cares about you and loves your company but he isn't ready to commit to you either. He may even feel guilty for what he is doing.
So how do you make his conflicting thoughts go away?
So he FULLY commits to you and you only?
One BIG mistake I see women make is inadvertently pushing a guy into doing something they might not be ready for.
If you're trying to get your ex boyfriend back or trying to get closer to your man, you may try to talk more about your relationship, your feelings, what you want, what he wants, and going down that road.
To a guy, that is the equivalent of pushing him down a path he may not be ready for.
The ONLY way a guy is going to want to commit to you is if it's HIS idea to commit in the first place. So, you can't do it by trying to talk to him about it, or dropping "hints" of what you want. A guy is going to see what you're doing and pull away.
You MUST give up control over the progression of the relationship, because it's a MAN's job to dictate the course of the relationship, not YOURS.
It's NOT okay to express your feelings to him before he does, it's NOT okay to ask him out before he asks you out, it's NOT okay to talk about getting back together before he brings it up.
For a man to make his OWN decisions, he needs to make the first move!
This may be hard to swallow, but you can't do it any other way because if you make the first move, you're ultimately putting yourself at a disadvantage.
How do you make him make that first move?
You need to "BAIT" him into it.
You need to let him know INDIRECTLY that if he doesn't act NOW he is going to lose you forever.
You create this sort of feeling in him by reminding him...
1). You're an awesome girl.
2). He is losing out because you're not sticking around waiting for him.
3). You need to "bait" him, flirt with him, give him a taste of this or that but NOT care if he doesn't respond in time, or not at all or act badly.
If your guy cancels a date, you say, Okay, no problem.
If your guy says he still loves you and misses you, you say: Okay, that's good to know.
If your guy tells you he is really in love with his new girlfriend, you say: Okay, good for you.
If he calls and tells you he can't commit right now, he just wants to be friends. You say: Okay, no problem.
If he SLEEPS with you, and waits a whole week before sending you a random text message about his cat, you carry on the conversation as if you didn't even notice he hadn't called.
Because when he says these things, he is trying to get a REACTION out of you. He is testing to see if you are going to bite, get emotional, chuck a tantrum, etc.
And if you DON'T, then he is going to sweat. He will think you don't care, that you are really moving on. He will think: "I could be LOSING HER."
But you need to know how to BAIT him.
This is where Mike's text message program comes in SUPER handy.
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If you're baiting him with questions, conversations that makes him think about you, fantasise about you, want to be with you, and then when he comes in and then pulls away, you act like you are NOT bothered, that's when he will feel like he is losing you!
Because you're the "Okay, I'm cool with that" girl and carry on with your life!
But you MUST know how to bait him and get him CHASING you first. If you never talk to him, he is completely cut off from your life, then it's not going to work!
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